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I didn’t ask for this.
She didn’t ask for this.
This just is.
I’m not forcing my son to be a girl – no one is forcing her to do anything.
It has been and always will be HER choice.
It was her choice to wear dresses.
It was her choice to change the spelling of her name to something more feminine.
It was her choice to decide how she wants to be addressed by her family, friends and the public.
It is her choice to be whoever she wants to be in this world.
It is my job to keep her safe, happy, healthy and raise her to be a good, decent human being.
It would be abuse to suffocate her voice, conform her into someone she is not, to snuff out the magical beauty that she radiates from being her true self.
I love her and will always love her unconditionally – as parents are supposed to do.
Yes, I miss my sweet little boy.
Yes, I miss dressing him in cute plaid shorts and button up shirts.
Yes, I’m going to miss the buzz cut masculine hair styles.
Yes, I’m going to miss seeing him become a Daddy and be just like his amazing father.
Yes, I do and will miss having a son.
But, it’s not about ME.
It’s about HER.
Having my daughter changed me for the best. I need to be an example for her. I want my daughter to grow up knowing she has a voice. Grow up knowing she can do and be ANYTHING she wants to be in this world. Grow up having the confidence to express herself. Grow up being able to LOVE herself.
This just is.
Just over a year ago my post about my son who wears dresses went viral (https://www.boredpanda.com/my-son-cian-yes-my-son-who-wears-dresses). Little to my knowledge, I was writing about my daughter.
I have learned so much since writing that essay. I’ve grown so much as a mother and as a person in general. I had a lot of clap back to it – I was abusing my son or from the LGBTQ community, I was transphobic. I was and never have been or done either of those things. I’m not too sure how someone could see me loving and accepting my child for who they want to be as abuse. Or saying I was afraid of or had negativity towards transgender people – instead of just realizing I was simply uneducated in that area.
I’m not perfect – show me a parent who is.
I am a proud mother to my beautiful, loving, loyal, carefree daughter and always will be.
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What do you think ?
Kimberley McNelis 5 years ago
As a gender-fluid person, I applaud your support for your child. I'm sorry to hear some in the LGBTQ community accused you of not being supportive; how I read your original post was, in fact, that you were working on loving and supporting your child, and being open to them loving themselves and seeing where that went. Now you know your child is your daughter. She may or may not stick with that identity (I would guess will), and her knowing that you will support her regardless is *powerful*. Thank you for sharing this.
Rebecca Aubin 6 years ago
My opinion is good for her. But perhaps rather then attacking people and being a bully for something not all are educated on. Perhaps offer insight and help to have others understand. Perhaps rather then attacking and making people sound bad for stating something they feel have a conversation. Calling people bad moms, or psycho paths and lash out at good people. Sucks as some are concerned more for the exposure for the child and not that the child has made their choice as to the gender they are and rather then having a conversation you attack and make rude and uncalled for posts. I am all for equality and all for people opening up to their true self and sometimes it takes a bit to understand. But I know this will now create a stir cause that is what this mother does, make a huge deal and attacks rather then help to understand what others are seeing as well rather then tear down people build up. Want change then change, want to be a voice be a good and moral voice.
Kimberley McNelis 5 years ago
As a gender-fluid person, I applaud your support for your child. I'm sorry to hear some in the LGBTQ community accused you of not being supportive; how I read your original post was, in fact, that you were working on loving and supporting your child, and being open to them loving themselves and seeing where that went. Now you know your child is your daughter. She may or may not stick with that identity (I would guess will), and her knowing that you will support her regardless is *powerful*. Thank you for sharing this.
Rebecca Aubin 6 years ago
My opinion is good for her. But perhaps rather then attacking people and being a bully for something not all are educated on. Perhaps offer insight and help to have others understand. Perhaps rather then attacking and making people sound bad for stating something they feel have a conversation. Calling people bad moms, or psycho paths and lash out at good people. Sucks as some are concerned more for the exposure for the child and not that the child has made their choice as to the gender they are and rather then having a conversation you attack and make rude and uncalled for posts. I am all for equality and all for people opening up to their true self and sometimes it takes a bit to understand. But I know this will now create a stir cause that is what this mother does, make a huge deal and attacks rather then help to understand what others are seeing as well rather then tear down people build up. Want change then change, want to be a voice be a good and moral voice.
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