Ava has a very bad start into life, and by that I don't mean her being born prematurely and almost dying. Her parents turned /are turning her into a spoiled little princess who will never grasp that the world really does not resolve around her. They have already turned her into a perfect bully victim as RoanTheMad already said. If this "parenting" does not change, Ava will be the obnoxious, self-centered schoolmate, colleague and short-time friend everybody hates...

I was born early, and I was never treat any different to my older sister., maybe I did when I was really young and needed extra attention (I'm also autistic so it was pretty rough when I was an infant) but they never treated my Sister as if she didn't exist like OP's parents clearly are. MASSIVE NTA... and honestly? I'm not surprised that "Ava" is being bullied, I've seen it before, a kid is spoiled rotten, pampered, nannied and basically treated like a toddler for way too long, thus they expect that from everyone, or they can't do things other children can because they're so used to things being done for them. It's harsh, but in a way, true.

I'd suggest to the young man to quietly leave the house while they let his birthday be her party. He's in an unwinnable situation, so he may as well use his saved up money to go have some fun with his friends. You know, the people who actually care about him. BTW 'Ava' is being programmed to treat him with just as much disregard as the parents do.

This a brilliant way to ensure that your child will go no contact with the entire family, the moment they can afford to do so.

Sad for OP, he deserves better, but he'll be fine. Hopefully a few good friends will make his birthday awesome and he'll move out in a few years. Ava, on the other hand, is likely to be in for a hell of an adjustment as she realizes the whole world will not bend over backwards if she's sad and that not every birthday is hers.

I want to hug this kid so bad! I understand Ava has had a rough go of it, but these parents obviously favor her over their son. Like, it could not be more obvious that she's the favorite. If I were OP, I would see about moving in with Grandpa and cutting off all contact with the parents until they learn that you canNOT treat your own children this way. This hurt to read as my dad has always favored my older brother over me and even told me when I was little that my birth wasn't as special because I wasn't the firstborn and I wasn't a boy. My dad made it to all three of my brother's school graduation ceremonies (middle school, high school, and college) and only made it to my high school graduation, but left before I even had a chance to find him after the ceremony so it's like why bother going? It's like my needs were always second. I don't blame my brother one but as he and I were good friends when we were kids and we still get along great. Nothing is his fault. I REALLY wanna hug OP.

Wow. Poor kid. He deserves to feel special once in a while, too. I understand the sister has health issues and whatnot, but they need to remember that they also have a son. Especially if they ever want to see him again once he turns 18. You can't treat one child like a gift from God and the other like someone who just happens to live in your house.

Kid, I feel your pain. Unfortunately your parents will never get it. I was born the day before my sister's third birthday party. My entire life my birthdays lived in her shadow. People would buy a joint gift and it would always be geared towards her. My mother also never really liked me from day one. My sister thought I was her third birthday present and treated me like one of her dolls when I was a baby. When my sister left for college, my mother couldn't be bothered with my birthday. I basically got throwaway gifts from my mom. She'd buy the first shirt in the store in my size and wrap it up. I never even bothered asking for any gifts. When I turned 18, my parents promised to match me in money to buy my first console multipiece stereo, which were big in the 80s. I was a music freak and managing a record store at the time. When I got out of bed on the morning of my 18th birthday, I went downstairs and there was a wrapped box on the counter with a card to me. It was from my parents.

People who play favourites with their kids massively suck.

If I were you I would just get together with your friends on the day of your birthday. Enjoy with them and get 16 cupcakes.

I wonder if it's possible for OP to move out and stay with his grandfather? I bet his parents wouldn't even notice him gone. I think he should mention this to his school counselor. Maybe they can help legally enforce family counseling. Even that might not help, though. Shitty parents. Sorry, OP.

not only does the less-favored child grow up having issues, but the Golden Child has their own trauma to go through and it’s more difficult for them to do so. I’m the oldest and less favored also, so I can relate. I had to eat everything that was on my plate as a child (even if I didn’t like it) I watched my brother that was 4 years younger cry because his foods touched each other, and he refused to eat until he got a divider plate 🤦🏽‍♀️ My sister is 1 year younger than me and she was also favored. I got all the beatings and punishments because I am the oldest and should’ve known better. My siblings would get mad and get me extra whippings when they felt like it. I know that they’ve never liked me and I used to cry all the time about it. I know now that they resent me because I’m resilient to anything. I’ve always been my own cheerleader and that’s something they’ll never understand (being a pampered golden child) always having thing handed to them💯

I just wish I was rich and I'd throw this poor boy the biggest party he has ever seen! 😟

He needs to move in with Grandpa and just cut his losses.

I've read so many similar things where either one child is favourite or one child is treated poorly compared to siblings. I just don't understand it. I have 3 children (12m 15m 19f). The 15 and 19 year olds birthday are a week apart and guess what? We put money aside to ensure that both children have the best birthday we can give. They are all amazing in their own right (all completely different) I just can't fathom treating one better or worse than the others. I have friends and family who have "favourites" and it always boggles my mind. Im so sorry for OP. I hope they have other family or friends that can make them feel special

in those cases, rather than the adults in the direct family, it would be better to go talk to a teacher or a counselor at school. When it's a neutral party pointing out the problems, the parents are more likely to listen. In bad cases of emotional abuse or neglect, counselors can even DEMAND that the family consults a professional.

If anyone reading this is in a similar situation, start saving as much money as you can, even now. If you get birthday money, chore money, odd job money, anything. Put it in a savings account & let it sit & accrue interest. Give yourself some cushion for when you move out, because parents like this don't get better. Save money, keep a low profile at home, focus on getting through school. Enjoy your hobbies, friends, after school activities, reading, whatever. Anything that keeps you busy, happy, & less time interfacing with family. It may suck a bit without pocket money, but it will be worth it. Just keep thinking about how happy you'll be when you're free, & try not to dwell on the resentment part. Later on, the sibling may realize that they were abused too in a way, but probably not for a while. They didn't ask to be coddled. My folks did a lot of stuff for my younger sib they wouldn't do for me, but it wasn't his fault.

That's f****d up on several levels. Absolutely NTA.

As soon as you can, cut them off, and tell them they are dead to you. F**k 'em.

I hope OP shows this to the parents, because they Are (Definitely!) The A$$holes.

Slightly different take, same problem. My birthday is four days after my dad's birthday. Growing up, I never had a celebration on my birthday. It was always a joint party on HIS birthday. Not even the milestone birthdays (10, 13, 16, 21) got anything just for me. I'm over it now, but when I was younger, it hurt.

No contact when you turn 18! Good riddance!

Yeah these parents are not helping ava at all they are just going to end up screwing up both there children

100% NTA!- and this is coming from a disabled woman who by necessity was prioritised a lot a a child- my parents went the other way- every time I got surgery, my sister got a holiday at a theme park-so I honestly felt like sh*t!- I got painful surgery - she got weekends away (without me there) or visits to theme parks etc- I feel like it would have been better to make it a joint celebration or something bf. HOWEVER!- that ABSOLUTELY does NOT INCLUDE THINGS LIKE BIRTHDAYS or awards ceremonies- 2 parents+2 events=1parent at each!

Is it his birthday or not? Idk, being the youngest of 6 kids, and my brother died on my 11th birthday, my parents and family always separated my brother's death from my birthday celebration.

Ok I'm officially refusing to read or believe another one of these stories. There's absolutely no way these people exist. Prove me wrong please