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111 Funny Musician Jokes To End Your Day On A High Note

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First of all, let's establish that playing with someone's feelings and emotions is NOT considered being a musician. Witticisms aside, musicians are a different breed. These people know that the course to stardom and fame can be grueling at times. Not just anyone can play the drums for Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" or do backing vocals for the one and only Beyoncé. And that can be upsetting sometimes, but don't worry, dear rockstars, we have something to cheer you up.

English teachers have silly jokes made about them, mothers-in-law have funny jokes too, and so do musicians. Though we Pandas can't play anything, thanks to our chonky paws, we especially appreciate the tone of musician jokes and how fun they sound. We are good at wordplay, though! Funny musician jokes are essential when you feel things might not end on a high note. Still, most of the worries we face on a daily basis really are just minor inconveniences that can quickly be resolved by cracking a musician joke or two. And heck, if anything, just play it by ear! Alright, think we have overdone it with the puns; we will rock-and-roll ourselves out. For heaven's sake…

Enough with silly puns, and let's go back to musician humor, which, let's agree, is simply unmatched! Whether you are looking for clean musician jokes to crack with your bandmates or need jokes to tell between songs, whatever the case might be, we've got you covered. Below, we've compiled some of the best jokes about musicians and, most importantly, jokes FOR musicians!

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#1

Joke about Highway To Hell and Stairway To Heaven The fact that there’s a Highway To Hell but only a Stairway To Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

39points

Richard Low 1 year ago

Heaven is a gated community, I don't trust gated communities, lake of fire for me please 👍

4points

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#2

Many people told Beethoven that he would never be a musician because he was deaf, but...

Did he listen?

34points

Avant Garde 1 year ago

His hearing problems started in his late 20s, he was completely deaf by 45 years of age.

8points

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#3

What’s the difference between a piano player and God?
God doesn’t think he’s a piano player.

27points

Cuppa tea? 1 year ago

What's the difference between Bono and God? God doesn't go around Dublin telling everyone he's Bono.

5points

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#4

Joke about music band The Police The Music Festival's excitement came to a halt as soon as The Police appeared on the stage.

25points

ThatRandomGuy 1 year ago

When the world is running down, they still make the best of what's still around

2points

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#5

What do you call a gentleman?
Someone who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't.

23points

Nonesuch 1 year ago

Lawrence Welk doesn't appreciate this.

3points

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#6

How many vocalists does it take to screw in a bulb?
None. They hold the bulb over their head and the world revolves around them.

21points

Onion Patch Petunia 1 year ago

Unless she's a soprano of course. In that case she breaks the bulb with her screech

4points

#7

Joke about Glissando, Perfect Pitch and Relative minor Glissando: A technique adopted by string players for difficult runs.

Perfect Pitch: When you throw a viola into the toilet and it doesn't hit the sides.

Relative minor: A guitarist's girlfriend.

19points

Cheese 1 year ago

NOT THE VIOLA!!

8points

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#8

What did the classical music performing Boy Band name themselves? The Bach Street Boys.

19points

Birgit S. 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

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#9

Why did Mozart find chicken annoying? Because they kept going, “Bach, bach, bach!”

18points

Birgit S. 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

#10

"Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a guitar player!"
"But darling, you can’t do both..."

17points

Pierce Reed 1 year ago

:0

2points

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#11

Joke about trumpet players How are trumpet players like pirates?

They're both murder on the high Cs.

17points

Legend123 1 year ago

Ha

0points

#12

How does one trumpet player greet another?

"Hi. I'm better than you."

16points

Pierce Reed 1 year ago

Sounds abt right

2points

#13

Joke about musicians and vocalist What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A vocalist.

16points

Onion Patch Petunia 1 year ago

Or a crooked manager

3points

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#14

The monk finally found who his favorite band was. He realized it when he achieved Nirvana.

16points

jon gilbertson 1 year ago

Nirvana's Unplugged is still one of my fave albums. n Tool's Undertow. n Violent Femmes n oh i could on.

1point

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#15

What's the last thing a drummer says before getting kicked out of a band?
Guys, when are we going to record my songs?

15points

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#16

Joke about guitar players and lightbulb changing How many guitar players does it to take to change a lightbulb?
5... One to change and 4 to say they could have done it better.

15points

Cheese 1 year ago

How long does it take for the conductor to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because no-one is watching

8points

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#17

The band’s performance was so bad they decided to give the fans a refund. Every Nickleback.

15points

Valter 1 year ago

"If everyone cared"

-1point

#18

What did the Spanish musician say after they left the sound booth?
Audios.

15points

Nonesuch 1 year ago

What did the Austrian musician say when he entered the room? Waltz up

3points

#19

Joke about bass player's tattoo What do you call that beautiful blonde on the bass player's shoulder?
A tattoo.

14points

Onion Patch Petunia 1 year ago

A yellow Jack

0points

#20

How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

14points

Brad Rathernotsay 6 months ago

What's the difference between a trombonist and a frog? The frog has a remote chance of getting a gig.

0points

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#21

How does a jazz musician end up with a million dollars?
By starting with 2 million dollars.

14points

#22

Joke about Korean singers TIL Korean singers never say, "Yes daddy!"
They say, "K pops!"

14points

Julian Slate 1 year ago

I don't personally get it, but it's not right to kinkshame, so to each their own.

0points

#23

What’s the difference between a dead chicken and a dead trombonist on the road?
With the chicken, there was at least a possibility that it was on its way to a gig.

13points

Pud 1 year ago

There are screech marks in front of the chicken 🤪

2points

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#24

Why do bagpipers walk when they’re playing?
To get away from that awful sound.

13points

TheElderNom 1 year ago

I like bagpipes.

5points

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#25

Joke about pianists and vacation Where do pianists go on vacation? The Florida Keys.

13points

Nonesuch 1 year ago

To visit the Steinways and Hemingways

1point

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#26

Why was the piano invented? So the pianist would have a place to put his coffee.

13points

#27

What's the difference between a tuba and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

12points

A Bi-Cycle 1 year ago (edited)

This could’ve been a lovely dirty joke but noooo /j

2points

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#28

Joke about gifted tubist What do you call a tubist actually playing the correct key signature?
Gifted.

12points

#29

What will you never say about a banjo player?
"That's the banjo player's Porsche."

12points

Russ Kincade 1 year ago

With the possible exception of Steve Martin!

2points

#30

What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg?
Limp Bizkit.

12points

Julian Slate 1 year ago

This is a god tier dad joke

0points

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#31

Joke about Taylor Swift having a bad day What does Taylor Swift do when she’s having a bad day? She shakes it off.

12points

Pierce Reed 1 year ago

That’s so cheesy

5points

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#32

If you drop a conductor and a watermelon from a skyscraper at the same moment, who will hit the ground first?

Does it matter?

11points

#33

How do you make musicians complain?
Pay them.

11points

Telerisghost 1 year ago

Tell them the gig doesn't pay, but they will get lots of "exposure"...

2points

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#34

Joke about pianist going to a supermarket What did the pianist take with him to the supermarket? Chopin Liszt.

11points

Apatheist Account2 1 year ago

That doesn't work if one pronounces it correctly, ie Sho-pan.

3points

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#35

Did you hear about the pianist who kept banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.

11points

OnAFreakingRollercoaster 1 year ago

🙋🏼‍♀️

0points

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#36

Two jazz guitarists meet in a bar, and one says, “Yeah man, I bought your last album, it was awesome!” to which the other replies, “Oh so that was you!”.

11points

Der Kommissar 1 year ago

Two men were walking down the street. One was a guitar player, and the other was indigent as well

0points

#37

Joke about philosophers and drummers What do philosophers and drummers have in common?
Both think of time as an abstract concept.

10points

Julian Slate 1 year ago

💀

0points

#38

What do you call a guitarist who only knows two chords?
A music critic.

10points

Telerisghost 1 year ago

A member of AC/DC...

0points

#39

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
"Oops, I broke it!"

10points

Pierce Reed 1 year ago

Welll too many

1point

#40

Joke about singer not finding the key How can you tell when a singer is at your door?
The can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.

10points

Richard Low 1 year ago

All the best singers come from Clydebank (home of the sewing machine factory).

1point

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#41

Tuba Player: "Did you hear my last recital?"
Friend: "I hope so."

10points

Nonesuch 1 year ago

Do not repeat

0points

#42

What kind of band doesn’t play music? A rubber band.

10points

Nonesuch 1 year ago

Gotta remember this one for the grandkids

3points

#43

Joke about The Chainsmokers Awareness against smoking was raised, but nobody bought it because The Chainsmokers were at the helm.

10points

#44

What band do Jehovah's Witness’ love? The Doors.

10points

Birgit S. 1 year ago

Maybe their dream is to be Knocking on Heaven's Door? One of them JW says: But I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For...

0points

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#45

What does a dead musician do?
He decomposes.

10points

#46

Joke about lead guitarists Why do lead guitarists walk around the stage when they play?
To get away from the sound.

10points

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#47

What is the difference between a trumpet and a jet plane?
About three decibels.

9points

Julian Slate 1 year ago

To clarify, the trumpet is louder

0points

#48

What’s the best way to protect your Stradivarius from thieves?
Keep it in a viola case.

9points

#49

Joke about drummer knocking door How do you know there’s a drummer at your door?
The knocking speeds up.

9points

#50

What’s the difference between a cello and a viola?
A cello takes longer to burn.

9points

Cheese 1 year ago

WHAT IS UP WITH THE VIOLA HATRED!??

7points

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#51

How can a drummer and a conductor avoid rhythm conflicts?
Work separate concert halls.

9points

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#52

Joke about violist's fingers Why are violist's fingers like lightning?
They rarely strike the same spot twice.

9points

Julian Slate 1 year ago

This is an advanced joke

0points

#53

Why was the musician depressed? Because he was a trebled man.

9points

Nonesuch 1 year ago

Nobody knows the treble I've seen

1point

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#54

Why was the musician not getting out of his bed? Because he was feeling the blues.

9points

#55

111 Funny Musician Jokes To End Your Day On A High Note Monkeys can survive in any condition. Just look at Arctic Monkeys.

9points

#56

Why are DJs considered down to earth? Because they started from scratch.

9points

Julian Slate 1 year ago

Glad that the Chainsmokers weren't the only reference to electronic music.

0points

#57

What happened when A, B and D went to a rock concert, but B was the only one disappointed? Because A see, D see, but B couldn’t.

9points

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#58

Joke about bassists and keyboard player changing lightbulb How many bassists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. The keyboard player can do it with one hand.

9points

Der Kommissar 1 year ago

Viv Savage?

0points

#59

Why are so many guitar player jokes one liners?
So the rest of the band can understand them.

9points

#60

Why do guitarists prefer playing guitar to cycling?
Because with a bike you only get two pedals.

9points

#61

Joke about bass trombonist with a pocket planner What’s the definition of optimism?
A bass trombonist with a pocket planner.

8points

#62

What does a timpanist say when they finally get a job?
"Would you like fries with that, sir?"

8points

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#63

How do you get a trumpet to sound like a French horn?
Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

8points

darqemm 1 year ago

What!!!!

0points

#64

Joke about a guitarist How do you get a guitarist to play softer?
Place a sheet of music in front of him.

8points

#65

Why was Mozart the top dog? Because he was in a Wolfgang!

8points

Onion Patch Petunia 1 year ago

Ah Monday is

0points

#66

What do you call a musician petrified by Medusa? A Rockstar.

8points

#67

Joke about the band Green Day Why were the musicians recycling their trash? Because it was Green Day.

8points

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#68

The posh lady only listened to only one band. Pearl Jam.

8points

Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago

And she would die when she found out the meaning of that phrase

4points

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#69

There was a band of musicians who were experts in knock-knock jokes.

This was because they called themselves The Doors!

8points

#70

Joke about a singing cow Why did the cow start taking singing lessons? Because she wanted to be a moo-sician.

8points

#71

What was the bug’s favorite band? The Beatles.

8points

#72

I just met the lead singer of Mushroomhead.
He seems like a fungi.

8points

Brad Rathernotsay 6 months ago

Fungus

0points

#73

Joke about musicians favorite car What is a musicians favorite car?
Honda A Chord.

8points

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#74

Did you hear about the guitarist who was in tune?
Neither have I.

8points

Onion Patch Petunia 1 year ago

He was standing on the piano because he was playing off key

0points

#75

What is the difference between terrorists and accordionists?
Terrorists have sympathizers.

7points

Onion Patch Petunia 1 year ago

And accordionist have a bag of wind while a terrorist is a windbag

0points

#76

Joke about gorilla playing the trumpet Why can't a gorilla play the trumpet?
Because gorillas are too sensitive.

7points

#77

What's the difference between a dog and a violinist?
A dog knows when to quit scratching.

7points

#78

Why are violas larger than violins?
They aren't. Violists heads are smaller.

7points

Cheese 1 year ago

I don't know what to make of this...

2points

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#79

Joke about drummers How can you tell if the stage is level?
The drool comes out of both sides of the drummers mouth.

7points

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#80

How many drummers does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, they have machines for that now.

7points

Der Kommissar 1 year ago

How do you streamline a drummer's car? take the Domino's sign off the roof

0points

#81

How many clarinet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they'll keep looking in the box till they find the perfect one.

7points

#82

Joke about classical music composer Which classical music composer likes tea the most? Chai-kovsky.

7points

#83

Why were the musician's friends tired of him? Because he kept composing plans to meet but never acted upon them!

7points

#84

Why did the police arrest the musician? Because he got in treble!

7points

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#85

Joke about Billy Ray Cyrus Who was the stingray's favorite musician? Billy Ray Cyrus.

7points

#86

How many pilots do you need to make good music?

22.

7points

Julian Slate 1 year ago

Inb4 some edgelord is like tHEy DonT mAKe gOoD MuSic

0points

#87

My son tried to pawn off my album collection. He’s such a Daft Punk.

7points

#88

Joke about the band One Direction Why was the Boy Band stuck in one spot? Because they kept going in One Direction.

7points

#89

What did the metal fan tell his barber with shaky hands? Slipknot, or you’ll cut me!

7points

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

this one's a stretch

1point

#90

Why were the band members arrested? Because they started a massive jam on the highway!

7points

Michael Smith 1 year ago

They didn't start the jam at mile post 46 is why.

0points

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#91

Joke about singer getting a chance What do you call it when a singer gets a chance?
An opera-tunity!

7points

#92

What’s the definition of Endless Love? Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.

7points

#93

Why are some people prejudiced towards banjo players?
It saves time in the long run.

6points

#94

Joke about soprano saxophonists What’s the definition of a minor second interval?
Two soprano saxophonists playing the same part.

6points

#95

What's the difference between a mid-range rocket and a bad solo guitarist?
The guitarist could actually kill you.

6points

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#96

What do you throw to a drowning bassist?
His amplifier.

6points

#97

Joke about musician robbing an instrument store Why did the musician rob an instrument store?
Because he wanted an excellent lute.

6points

#98

Why did the child decide to learn guitar? Because it struck a chord with him.

6points

#99

Why was the father of the symphony hard to find? Because he kept Haydn.

6points

#100

Joke about musicians wearing headbands Why don’t musicians wear headbands?
Because their hair starts making music!

6points

#101

Def Leppard wasn’t sure if their fans would appreciate their new songs. Their fear turned them into Dread Leppard.

6points

Der Kommissar 1 year ago

What has 9 arms and sucks?

1point

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#102

Enthusiasm came back to the band as they kept performing. Their improvement smells like team spirit.

6points

#103

Joke about Dell laptop drowning itself Why did a Dell laptop drown itself? Because it was a fan of rolling in the deep.

6points

#104

What do you call a well dressed pop singer?
Billie Stylish.

6points

Julian Slate 1 year ago

I'm imagining Billie Eilish in a fancy suit with a bowtie and top hat, wearing a fake mustache and monocle. I will send out a funeral e-vite💀

0points

#105

Why couldn’t Anthony Kiedis get his DVD player to work?
He had a scart issue.

6points

#106

Joke about bass players How do you get two bass players to play in unison?
Hand them charts a half-step apart.

5points

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#107

Benjamin’s friends kept playing songs that reminded him of his ex. His friends were Breaking Benjamin.

5points

Onion Patch Petunia 1 year ago

Slightly better than breaking wind

0points

#108

My relationship with a girlfriend, who was a chemistry teacher, came to a close abruptly. My Chemical Romance came to an end.

5points

Julian Slate 1 year ago

Then you said you were getting back together, but the album still isn't out

0points

#109

Joke about drummer at the live show Why did the drummer get embarrassed at the live show? Because Motley didn’t cue him when to stop!

5points

#110

A popular band were providing free flu shots to their fans. They were the Flu Fighters.

4points

#111

The Zeppelin was covered in light to help people see them at night. It was a LED Zeppelin.

3points

Onion Patch Petunia 1 year ago

But it was still full of the same hot air

0points

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Justina Čiapaitė

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

Violeta Lyskoit

Violeta is an SEO Editor at Bored Panda. She has completed her higher education at Northumbria University with a bachelor's degree in Media & Journalism.

Violeta is an SEO Editor at Bored Panda. She has completed her higher education at Northumbria University with a bachelor's degree in Media & Journalism.

What do you think ?

Made You Look 1 year ago

I feel like these are more insults than jokes…

3points

Julian Slate 1 year ago

I was involved with the guitar community when I was in my sophomore year of highschool, and let me tell you the only community I've been involved with that was more toxic was the Fallout fandom

0points

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Kevin Felton 1 year ago

Everybody hating on Tubas and accordions, in my home town you'd think that those were the only two instruments ever invented.

0points

A Bi-Cycle 1 year ago

Damn what do these people have against musicians?

0points

Made You Look 1 year ago

I feel like these are more insults than jokes…

3points

Julian Slate 1 year ago

I was involved with the guitar community when I was in my sophomore year of highschool, and let me tell you the only community I've been involved with that was more toxic was the Fallout fandom

0points

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Kevin Felton 1 year ago

Everybody hating on Tubas and accordions, in my home town you'd think that those were the only two instruments ever invented.

0points

A Bi-Cycle 1 year ago

Damn what do these people have against musicians?

0points

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