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Ancient Greek mathematician and physicist Archimedes famously said: “Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.” While this is technically true, it is virtually impossible (probably for the best – let the world stay where it is). There is one thing though that can literally move the world, at least your personal one. And that thing is music. Have you ever noticed how the worst of days can suddenly become so much better once you listen to a good song? Music has a very specific power to make everything right, and we really should use that power more.
Having worked with musicians quite a bit, I can assure you that they do like a good music joke. And not only general band kid humor. Most bands have insider band jokes about that time they played that gig or that time they had to improvise because the guitar got unplugged in the middle of the performance.
You don’t have to be a professional musician to understand jokes about music, and that’s probably the best part. My favorite type of music jokes are song puns, where you can add a letter to the song’s name and turn it into something completely different and hilarious. You should definitely try it. Make a list of all your favorite songs and see how you can change them with one letter to make them sound funny.
What other types of music puns have you heard? Have you ever told a musician jokes about their profession? Or maybe you are a musician yourself? Enjoy this collection of music jokes, and tell me about your favorite one in the comments.
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#1
Steal a man's wallet and he'll be poor for a day.
But teach him to play an instrument and he'll be poor for the rest of his life.
RELATED:
#3
Kids shouldn’t watch the orchestra.
Too much sax and violins.
#6
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
#9
A while ago, my friend told me not to listen to loud music.
I haven’t heard from that guy since.
#10
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote too many Linkin Park songs.
But "in the end, it doesn't even matter".
#29
How many concertmasters does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes four movements.
#31
What’s the most musical bone?
The trombone.
#32
What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaaaa.
Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago
Fun factoid. Beethoven's fifth (or V in roman numerals) starts out with the same pattern as V in Morse code. This was completely unintentional.
#34
As a musician, I’ve learned the best way to win a Grammy is to not release your music in the same year as Adele.
#37
What do you say to the musician playing the triangle in the orchestra?
Thank you for every ting.
#40
What do you get when you play country music backward?
You get your wife back, your dog back, and your job back.
#47
What's the difference between a folk guitar player and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
#51
I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it!
You never know when you might need a nail.
#52
I had gotten a coupon for 50% off an Arizona Ice Tea yesterday.
After I bought the can and opened it, I suddenly heard a bunch of beats and rap music coming out of the can. I was really confused at first, but then I realized why. I had gotten 50 cent Ice T.
#55
Which music bands do bees love best?
The Bee-tles and the Bee Gees.
#58
Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on?
Because she wanted to rock and roll.
#69
Middle C, E flat, and G walk into a bar.
“Sorry,” the bartender says. “We don’t serve minors.”
#73
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
#74
Accordion to one study, people don’t notice when you replace any given word with the name of a musical instrument, but I don’t believe that tuba true.
#75
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel.
#76
How can you tell if a soprano is at your front door?
He can’t find the key, and doesn’t know when to come in.
#81
What does a harmonica and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
#84
I’m so sick of people thinking they can just waltz into my room when I’m listening to music in 4/4.
#85
What’s the difference between a piano and a tuna?
You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano tuna.
#86
What's the difference between terrorists and accordion players?
Terrorists have sympathizers.
#90
Marine biologists have discovered a group of killer whales that keep on meeting up and playing music together.
They called it an orca-stra.
#98
The guy at my local music shop asked me why I'm always coming in to buy new harmonicas.
I told him "I blow right through them".
#115
How can you tell if a singer’s at your door?
They can’t find the key and don’t know when to come in.
#117
Do you like live music?
Of course, I like live music. Dead music has body, but it doesn’t have soul.
#127
What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
They both perceive time as an abstract concept.
#131
I don't think wind turbines like classical music. They're big metal fans, though.
#132
Arnold Schwarzenegger is starring in a movie about classical music composers.
He'll be Bach.
#134
A music critic told me I wouldn’t know music if it hit me in the face.
I knew a friend that had that experience. He’s in the hospital, because he was listening to hard rock.
#145
Why was the former conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic always first off the plane?
He only had Karajan luggage.
#147
The biggest difference between the Super Bowl and the Grammys.
The Eagles have won a Grammy.
#149
My friend spends 75 percent of his time playing football and the other 25 percent playing Baroque music.
He’s a quarterback.
#153
What do you get if Bach falls off his horse but has the courage to get back on and keep riding?
Bach in the saddle!
#155
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?
A tattoo.
#157
Why can't you improve the efficiency of wind farms by playing country music around them?
Because they're really just big heavy metal fans.
What do you think ?
Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago
I went to a party once. They played The Twist so I was twisting. They played Jump Around so I started jumping around. Then they played Come On Eileen and the next thing I know I'm being thrown out.
Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago
I was at a karaoke bar once. Someone asked me if I would sing Wonderwall. I said maaaayyybeee...
Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago
I went to a party once. They played The Twist so I was twisting. They played Jump Around so I started jumping around. Then they played Come On Eileen and the next thing I know I'm being thrown out.
Eat Dirt Crow 2 years ago
I was at a karaoke bar once. Someone asked me if I would sing Wonderwall. I said maaaayyybeee...
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