A 2 year old can show they are uncomfortable. They will often shy away.

I was really talking about "Brittney's" behaviour. Sure, one can say please don't try to hug baby if she doesn't want to be hugged, She's a bit shy/ unwell/tired at the moment, ) But going on national TV to complain to all and sundry that your do NOT want your daughter's Grandmother to touch her seems a vast over-reaction. Especially as she talks of 'asking for permission", rather than simply accepting the child's reluctance and not forcing it It all sounds much more likely that Brittney bears a grudge against her partner's mother. Possibly also against her partner, In fact the whole situation sounds alarmingly dysfunctional. I think that some family councelling might be advisable, If it IS the partner's mother being inappropriate then a councellor should help Brittney cope better.

Again. Age does not matter. Consent DOES.

Physical affection is indeed a need. It is ranked as a tertiary need in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, & studies have shown that children deprived of physical affection can suffer severe psychological damage & developmental problems.

@Nikki Owens, Yes, and kids who are touched WITHOUT WANTING TO BE TOUCHED also suffer severe psychological damage. Letting toddlers pull away from Granny isn't a sin. It's just that the kid hates her perfume, or forgot her since last Christmas, or whatever. Stop pushing everyone to believe that allowing small children to be grabbed is okay. It is NOT. Physical comfort/affection can be gained without shoving Junior into Granny regardless of Junior's thoughts on it. Or, to be more precise: I never wanted to be in a room with my one aunt. She is now a wanted felon, federal-level, for murder and financial crime. Tell me again that my toddler self should be forced to hug *her*... b/c my parents never made me hug her. My mom protected us from discomfort. With, btw, hugs.

It is not a need if the child doesn't WANT the affection. AGAIN this is not about depriving them, this is about them being able to say no.

Again this is not about depriving physical affection, this is just about consent. Not everyone wants to be touched at any given moment. It can make them very uncomfortable.

Of course it is, Nikki! That still doesn’t make it ok to go around touching people without their consent.

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If a child wants/ needs a hug or kiss then that's fine. We are not talking about banning affection but giving kids the right and respect to be able to say no. If a kid is having a tantrum and doesn't want a cuddle then so be it, that is their choice but you can let them know that you are there when they need/ want you. It's not about taking away affection, it's about choice. You have literally taken what I have said to extremes, not once have I said to deny your child and not show any affection. And a 2 year old does have the ability to feel uncomfortable. Geez Louise.

Fifty upvotes, Foxxy. My mom protected us if we didn't want hugs/kisses from certain family. And she did so by holding us, or holding our hand, and making it clear without words that she was mama bear. If we calmed down and were okay with the hug/kiss later, fine. If not, oh well. Kids are people. They have moods, likes, dislikes. those change, just as in adults.

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The only thing that your “strategy” will do is make people not be willing to try to show your child any sort of affection, think back to when you were two.... can you even remember it? But I bet sure as s**t your dad would remember you crying at age two and wanting to give you a hug to make you feel better but you having a tantrum and not letting him show love to the most important thing in the entire world to him and his reason for living already rejecting him at age 2, yeah couldn’t possibly affect that relationship or bonding at all because his child’s mother says it will lead to the kid being sexually abused.... such total horse s**t, my mom would literally always force my brother and I to hug after we fought because were family and family comes first, by your count I should have been sexually abused 500 times by clowns at amusement parks by her bad parenting but nope, turns out it taught me forgiveness and to let things go and to always put my family first but had she done it your way, my brother and I would still hate each other to this day and being forced to hug him certainly didn’t make either of us lose any respect for the word no but gain total respect for family, there’s a time and a place for everything and lessons to be learned but blaming hugs as a child for sexual assault by predators later in life is literally blaming the victim and not the predator, I dunno i you had a messed up childhood or something but your putting your own personal trauma in the way of your child learning emotional connections as their brain develops, but your over sexualizing a form a familiar greeting dating back to our ancestors who couldn’t even speak languages, most of the world has customary greetings, you think I enjoy kissing men? But guess what my wife has relatives from turkey so I have to kiss random men on the cheek as a greeting or it’s a great insult, does that mean I can no longer understand consent? Sometimes you have to do things your not comfortable with, and giving a hug to your grand ma isn’t a gateway to being abused and if your family is that messed up that you have to worry it would lead to your child being sexually abused maybe don’t let your kid around your family because they are scum bags and explain to your child t he difference between doing something they don’t want to and unwanted sexual advances, but if you think your protecting a two year old, no your limiting their life experiences with a artificial bubble out of fear and lack of common sense, god your remind me of PC principal from South Park and his PC babies

Again you are not getting it. I am not talking about not to show any affection or being paranoid. This is about consent and not feeling like you have to appease others. I am from a very affectionate family but my daughter doesn't like much affection so I would never force her. I ask "do you want a hug" or "can I have a hug". Most of the time she will say no but my son on the other hand will take most affection and loves it. But I still ask him out of respect. A 2 year old does know when they are uncomfortable and will often shy or run away. It is not blaming the victim AT all, this is just teaching them that they are allowed to say no. No one has the right to touch you if it makes you uncomfortable. Even if it's a simple hug and a kiss. Not offering affection to your kids is psychologically damaging, there is evidence to support that. But again I never said to withhold affection. Offer it and if they accept then great, if It's personal choice. Not everyone likes physical touch.

I also never blamed hugs for sexual assault, or am sexualising hugs AT ALL. For the thousandth time it is just teaching CONSENT or body autonomy. Also you can learn forgiveness without being forced into hugging/kissing. If a parent feels rejected coz their child doesn't want a hug then that is their problem. Whilst it would like hugs from my daughter more often, I won't let my feelings make her feel guilty. Guilt tripping someone into affection is a common tactic predators use, including abusive partners. The idea of consent is to teach and protect them in the future. Oh and my brothers and I were not close as kids, we argued all the time, hurt each other and didn't hug. but now we are adults we love hanging out together and get along exceptionally well and we hug. Also newsflash, teaching a young child about sexual abuse is too complicated for them to fully understand. So teaching them the simple "no means no" when it comes to physical touch is the foundation and you can build onto it as they get older.

Maybe re-read what I have written. Nowhere have I said to never show affection. 🙄

Ross, it’s not about what dad wants. If the adults love their children enough, they will empower them to be able to make their own choices about their own bodies. Forcing yourself physically on a child is not always comforting to them.

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