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Childfree People Over 19 Reveal Whether They Regret Their Life Choices
The decision whether or not to have children is extremely easy for some to make. If you’ve dreamt of being a parent your entire life and have had baby names picked out since you were 15, you probably haven’t thought twice about it. On the other hand, if you love your independence and live a transient lifestyle, the thought of bringing kids into the picture might not have ever crossed your mind.
But for some of us, the right time just never comes. It may not be a conscious decision not to start a family, but you may wake up one day and realize that it’s just not going to happen. Redditors who are over 40 and single have recently been discussing whether or not they regret not having kids, so we’ve gathered some of their thoughts below. Enjoy scrolling through, whether you’re a parent or not, and keep reading to find a conversation with Sue Fagalde Lick, creator of the Childless by Marriage blog and author of Childless by Marriage and Love or Children: When You Can't Have Both.
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#1
I do regret - but if I had children with any of my previous partners, I’m sure I’d regret that more.
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#2
50M and no.
My mental health fluctuations would not have provided a good and healthy home for kids to grow up in. It's not that I wouldn't have loved them, in fact that's more the why I didn't, because I respect these people that don't exist because of this choice enough to not pass on my problems. It was a decision I came to, probably in my early 20s.and even when times have been good, and I have been stable, I have never regretted the decision.
#3
Almost 40 female. Never regretted. Sitting here on the Red Sea on a deck chair, sipping a cocktail. Scrolling reddit at 1pm on a Wednesday. I was also a live in Nanny for 8 years to other peoples kids, so it's not like I don't know what it's like.
#4
41 male here, no I do not regret anything. My mental health is balanced thanks to me being a "hermit" for 13 years now
#5
45M. Not married but not single. No kids wanted or had, no regrets.
You realize not being married nor having children doesn't mean someone doesn't have a family, yeah? What does one call one's parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.? It also ignores people's "family of choice," i.e. longtime friends who are often closer than family.
#7
As a guy nearing his 40s: id love to have a family, but my genetics are so broken that it would be unresponsible to pass them on to any children
#8
First marriage was when I was 18 to an abusive friend of my stepfather. That lasted 5 years.
Second marriage was 10 years to a mentally and financially abusive guy.
Had a boyfriend for 6 years, broke up because I was tired of being his mother.
I am 45 and single, it's been 3 years since the breakup and I do not miss being in relationships.
Never had kids and I am thankful I made that decision otherwise I would be tied to people that I would rather not be.
#9
Nope, i prefer my lifestyle of travelling. Too much stress dealing with a family. Bad enough with my parents who are getting old.
#10
Nope. I have an average income and still barely make it until the next month's pay.
I can't imagine how anyone can have a family and kids without being very wealthy.
I mean, my kids wouldn't starve, but I wouldn't be able to buy them everything they want and give them a top tier life. So, I feel it's better this way.
#11
47M, no regrets not having children, considering the state of the planet, along with the increasing cost of living.
In fact I personally believe that if I cannot provide an equal or better standard of living to any hypothetical child of mine than what I enjoyed as a child it would be incredibly selfish and abusive to said child.
#12
F58. Would have loved to have gotten married but never wanted children and don't regret not having had any.
#13
Female and over 40. I tried getting pregnant with 3 different men and none of them was able to impregnate me.
2 of those men fathered kids in previous relationship.
So I think the problem is me.
I was depressed in my late thirties about never having kids.
But now seeing my siblings with children actually made me super glad I didn't have them.
I am not envying their life right now and it's much nicer to be auntie.
#14
35F- not quite there at 40+, but I think I'm close enough. I've been single for over 10 years now, so I don't see that changing.
I would've loved to have been married and had kids. I think it's too late for me to have kids now... I don't see myself getting married, either. It would've been nice... it wasn't my choice- I was just never... anyone's choice. So, there's nothing to regret, cause it wasn't my decision- but I still feel like I've missed out on something special.
I would've made a good wife, I think.
#16
I’m a 42 year old female with no husband or kids. The only reason I regret not having kids is because I don’t feel connected to my friends or community. I’m pretty introverted so that makes me feel isolated. Other people’s reasons for having kids seem selfish to me. I don’t need kids so someone can take care of me when I’m old or because that’s what I’m suppose to do. I love kids but I can’t imagine them in my life every.single.day. Traveling the world and loving my pets is fulfilling enough.
#17
I (F) turned 40 this year. Single, never been married and no kids. When I was younger I definitely envisioned having a husband and a kid or two. But I've reached a point where I definitely don't want to give birth to my own, but I have been thinking about adopting, especially an older kid. But it is a bit daunting to take on by myself. A supportive spouse would be great, but the dating world can be so frustrating.
Maybe I'll eventually adopt, maybe I won't. However I do certainly enjoy many aspects of my life with just me and my pets. I don't have to worry about a babysitter, can travel pretty easily (with or without the dogs), and I have a great group of friends, many of whom I also consider family.
#18
38F I don't regret the kids thing, I love kids, and I have 3 nieces and a nephew that I adore, but they are a handful and I can honestly not picture myself having to deal with all of that on a permanent full-time basis. Even just 1 might be too much.
As for a partner, theoretically, I would like that, someone to share the load with.
Practically, however, is a different story. Whenever most new couples start to reach the point where they get comfortable being around each other and want to spend more time together or move the relationship forward, my anxiety acts up. I get stressed out by this person constantly occupying space with me.
I mean, goddammit, just let me sit on my couch munching popcorn in peace and don't be here.
I've just figured out I'm a lot more comfortable on my own, and I will probably stay that way.
#19
M41... no, don't regret it, I never wanted kids, and so far, that's working out. Always dated women with no desire to have kids either. Don't want to get married... or live with someone either. I do kinda live a hermit lifestyle
I don't want a family life anyway, never did... I'm totally fine with being by myself and spending all my time, money and space on things I want, rather than things I have to because I have a kid or something... (because I'm well aware that these thing take resources from me, I don't want to spend)
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