When you guys went to Hawaii I put Milo (cat) down. He was sick, in incredible pain, couldn't eat or drink, couldn't even move to get to the litterbox. When you left on vacation he was too weak to even yowl in pain anymore. I couldn't stand to see that cat in so much pain and so afraid so I did the only thing I could do to help him- end his life humanely.

My parents were 100% against putting down a pet regardless of how much it is suffering so they'd be beyond mad if they knew this.

anon , Louis Droege / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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While at work i faked an athsma attack to get out of work early. Mom took me to urgent care center after the inhaler "didnt help" . . . the docs ran an EKG and found something peculiar, after a breathing treatment they advised that i follow up with a cardiologist and sent me home. Fast forward 3 months and countless doctors and specialists and we discovered that i have a hole in my heart that requires open heart surgery. yup, a lie to skip out on work saved my life.

DIS_IS_GARBAGE , Sincerely Media / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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I was 10-ish and my dad had just painted the boiler room door orange in our basement. My younger brother and I were pushing each other around on a skatebaord in basement and my dad warned us, don't you dare hit this door with your skateboard. 15 minutes later I'm picking my brother up from the ground and looking at a hole in my dad's orange door caused by said skateboard. Definitely not telling dad. Instead I grab a piece of orange construction paper and a glue stick to "patch" the hole. It matched surprisingly well. 27 years later that construction paper is still holding strong and I have never heard a word about it from my pop.

FerDaLuvaGawd , FerDaLuvaGawd Report

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My address. My parents are psychotic.

anon , Mansur Omar / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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This will come too late to ever be seen.

That I was homeless for more than two years. During the recession from 2008 to some time in 2010, I lost my job, and eventually was kicked out of my apartment. I had a 10-year old car that was paid off, so I lived out of that until I found a series of jobs cleaning houses, working in a recreational center part time.

Parents lived 1,000 miles away and I managed to keep a mailing address at a friend's so they never realized. It would have killed them that I didn't want to ask for help, I wanted to do it on my own.

anon , Ev / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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My "husband " is actually a woman.

Theonethatgotherway , Alexander Grey / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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After my sis died I locked myself in her room and went through everything alone before her friends or my parents went through her stuff to pack it away or give it to her friends. I found naked pics, empty bottles of alcohol and a letter she had wrote, but I guess never gave, to her then boyfriend telling him the story of how she was r*ped as a younger teenager. I threw everything like that out but kept that letter. It's been 12 years and I just found the letter again as I was packing up to make room for baby. I can't bring myself to throw it away.

hotsy__totsy , Jonathan Borba / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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When I was in elementary school, I was at Target with my mom and sister. At the checkout counter I saw these cinnamon flavored tic-tacs, and I had to have them, because I hadn't fully developed the whole want/need function in my brain. I knew my mom wouldn't buy them for me, so I grabbed them (sneakily), and put them in my pocket (sneakily).

I felt pretty guilty the whole way home, and didn't make eye contact with anyone in case they could read my mind.

As soon as I was inside the safety of my home, I made my way upstairs (sneakily), and opened my hot goods.

They were awful.

Easily my least favorite tic-tac. I ended up throwing them in the garbage can outside (sneakily) to avoid any suspicion.

This is my shame, and I carry it alone. Except now with theoretically thousands of people.

TLDR: The only time I ever stole anything, the fruits of my victory turned rotten in my mouth.

ThatGuyIsTall , the cazpian / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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I am a swinger.

A funny thing is, a lot of non-swingers who know this about me ask, "how did you come out to your parents?". WHY THE HELL WOULD I EVER COME OUT TO MY PARENTS. It's not like being gay, where I would eventually introduce them to my significant other, so they would have to know. This would be more comparable to telling your parents that you're into a**l. They really don't need to know.

i_am_sexbot Report

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One time a dropped an entire roll of toilet paper into the bowl when trying to change it. I didn't want them to know I ruined an entire roll so I hid it in my closet and over a course of a few weeks I would rip away pieces and throw them away.

Edit: Since some people seem to be assuming my parents were horrible and I was frightened, that's definitely not the case. I was just a dumb kid that was embarrassed about dropping a whole roll in the toilet.

SamePotato , Clay Banks / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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The fact that I had a child and gave it up for adoption.

She hates my wife. Almost had me convinced to leave her, but I couldn't do it. When I went back to my wife, the last thing my mother said to me was, "Don't get her pregnant or she has you trapped forever!"

Doing the math, our child was conceived the very first day I came home.

We never wanted kids. It was never in our plan. We're both irresponsible and broke as s**t, with lots of emotional baggage from growing up in broken homes with criminal parents. We agreed that we'd never put a child through that.

Due to my wife's build, health conditions, and very irregular cycles, we did not discover she was pregnant until 7.5 months in, far too late to terminate. In one of the hardest moves of our lives, we placed our child for adoption with an incredible couple who wanted nothing more out of life than to raise a child.

She'll never know about it. Nothing good could possibly come from it.

christwhatamess , Luma Pimentel / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations are up on this one, so why not.

I was a Jr. in High School, and had some friends into LAN parties who were seniors. But I couldn't really join them because my family was pretty poor and neither them or I could afford a computer for me to use at that time. So one day my older friends gave me one of their older PCs (Pentium 3) with a couple parts missing (RAM, HDD) that I could build out for myself. Now about 15 years later its turned out to be a great jumping off point because now I'm a successful System Administrator and love working in the IT field. And I owe it in many ways to that first computer I learned to build back up from scratch and make my own.

Only they didn't give me that computer. We stole it from the high school. Sorry not sorry.

FunkyFireStarter , Matt Mech / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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That I'm planning on eloping in Disney in just a few months. My fiancé and I don't want to deal with the stress of a big wedding or my family.

breakyourwings Report

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I can never tell them that my #1 goal as a parent is to handle relationship issues differently than they did. They went through an extremely messy divorce when I was 8 and my only memory of them together is them screaming at each other and my sister and I hiding in our rooms. Then it was 10+ years of them talking s**t about each other to us, putting us in the middle of all their arguments, and giving us a hug e guilt trip whenever they felt like we were spending more time with the other one than with them. It's been 20 years now and my mom will STILL talk s**t about my dad and stepmom every once in awhile, despite me asking her over and over to stop. I am happily married but if I were to ever get divorced I will never put my daughter in the middle of arguments, speak badly about her father to her, or make her feel guilty for having a relationship with him. It's the #1 thing I learned from my parents and I think they would be devastated to realize the true effect it has had on me.

anon , Ioann-Mark Kuznietsov / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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I'm in love with a black girl and my parents are mild racists. I'm waiting to save enough money to move out with her because I know when I break the news I'll be kicked out. I'm 23 so I guess this is good timing to move out anyways. It really sucks.

Pram75 , Smart Araromi / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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That I was the one that blew up the toilet. To this day my stepdad thinks someone broke into my house, smashed the toilet, and left.

Melissajoanshart , Giorgio Trovato / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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Replaced bourbon from a priceless bottle of liquor with Evan Williams when I was 15. I found out later my parents were saving the bottle for their 50th Anniversary. It was given to them by my great grandpa at their wedding. Still have 23 years to break the news.

anon , Eva Bronzini / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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My sister and I were reading through my mom's old high school yearbook, and we kept seeing everyone sign saying something along the lines of, "Congrats, you and X are perfect together!" X is not our dad, and we had never heard X's name mentioned before. After a little more digging we found out she had married X right out of high school, divorced, then married our father. Neither of us really cared, but it was still a huge shock she hasn't told us now that we're both in our mid twenties.

thelarge1 Report

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My parents are massive anti-military hippies. They don't know I was an officer in the United States Navy. Six years. Fortunately my parents aren't facebook parents, so I had enough time that I could edit posts and pictures my friends posted so they didn't show up to family. I told them I had a busy job, or a girlfriend or whatever to avoid going home for the holidays.

I'm extremely surprised I pulled it off.

anon Report

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It was me who superglued the fridge shut. I just blamed it on my brother.

anon , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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