#1

Funny history joke about pyramids in Egypt and British museums. Why are there pyramids in Egypt?

They were too heavy to steal and put in a British museum.

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    #2

    History joke on a pink background: "Why does history keep repeating itself? Because we weren't listening the first time." Why does history keep repeating itself?

    Because we weren’t listening the first time.

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    #3

    Humorous history joke about Isaac Newton on a mint green background. Isaac Newton died a virgin. That means I have one up on history's greatest scientific genius.

    Because I'm not dead.

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    #4

    Text on beige background: "And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life.' But John came fifth and won a toaster." History jokes. And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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    #5

    History joke about Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog sharing a middle name on a red background. What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?

    The same middle name!

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    #6

    History jokes image with text: "Before the Bronze Age... People who came in third place were just called losers." Before the Bronze Age...

    People who came in third place were just called losers.

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    #7

    "History joke about Aztec sacrifices with humorous text on a pink background." To the many that have been ritually sacrificed by Aztec kings... My heart goes out to you.

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    #8

    History joke about American colonists and tea, punchline: Liberty. What kind of tea did the American colonists want?

    Liberty.

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    #9

    Text joke image featuring the punchline: "Hisssstory." Theme is history jokes. What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?

    Hissssstory.

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    #10

    History joke on a pink background: "Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom!" Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

    At the bottom!

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    #11

    History joke text on a green background about Atlas being supported by family and friends. If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas?

    His family and Friends.

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    #12

    Historical joke about George Washington's honesty: "Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? Because he couldn't lie." Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?

    Because he couldn’t lie.

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    #13

    History joke about the most popular dance in 1776: Indepen-dance. What was the most popular dance in 1776?

    Indepen-dance.

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    #14

    History joke featuring Julius Caesar and Mark Antony on a beige background. Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?

    He wanted to Mark Antony.

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    #15

    Viking joke on a teal background: "How did the Vikings send secret messages? By Norse code!" How did the Vikings send secret messages?

    By Norse code!

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    #16

    Text image with a history joke about an ex-girlfriend and a museum creating distance. My ex-girlfriend is standing at the opposite end of the museum from me!

    I want to go say hi but there's just so much history between us.

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    #17

    History jokes: "Q: Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever? A: Julius Sneezer." Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?

    Julius Sneezer.

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    #18

    A history joke about the end of the Cold War, saying "Global warming started," on a red background. Why did the Cold War end?

    Global warming started.

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    #19

    Text on a mint green background featuring a history joke about Abraham Lincoln's school commute. Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood. He had to walk 8 miles to school every day!

    Well, he should have gotten up earlier and caught the schoolbus like everyone else!

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    #20

    History joke about Pilgrims and music preference, with the punchline "Plymouth Rock" on a tan background. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?

    Plymouth Rock!

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    #21

    History joke about the railroad being underground on a red background. You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.

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