This bummed me out. Poor cat lives for 16 years in a loving home only to die alone and scared. This is so sad. 🥺

He was YTA until he found a solution to give the cat to his brother. His wife should always come first and pregnancy is hard enough. But he realised that and started the process to separate from a pet he had loved and raised, which is hard too. Then she became TA for killing the cat. And there the pregnancy was not enough to excuse that.

I wish I had not read this one.

This is so heartbreaking he had to be abandoned then die alone and scared. What an absolute bi*** and I can't believe all the horrible people saying YTA he had that cat 16 yrs I don't care if the absolute T*** is pregnant that doesn't mean she's above that cat. I would shove her out to her parents straight away and the only thing that would be saving her from my anger is that baby inside of her. Disgusting I wish I'd never read this

Couple have problem. Man suggests solution. Wife (rightly) says solution is unacceptable. Man suggests new solution. Wife takes matters into her own hands and is irresponsible for killing beloved pet. Have I basically got it right?

Having pets is like having children or getting married, it is a lifetime commitment, you cannot change your mind about providing for your pets well-being because it all gets too hard. You wouldn't change your mind about caring for your children or partner if they got sick would you? He tried to work the problem with everyone's best interest in mind. Wife was only interested in her own best interests. 2 weeks with her parents wasn't gonna kill her, it's not a huge sacrifice to protect the well-being of another family member who has been there for 16 years and is also vulnerable. She is a callous biatch and that's gonna keep showing up in her relationship with her husband and her children, I can't see this marriage surviving unless she changes in a radical way. They are diametrically opposites in terms of what they consider honourable and ethical behaviour towards those who need them.

In all honesty. Rehoming a 16 y.o. cat is like rehoming a 90 y.o. person. It's far more fragile. People who are saying he is the AT because his wife is pregnant really isn't taking into consideration the fact how old this cat is... She's pregnant not dying of cancer. It really wasn't a fair comparison and having her live at her parents for 2 weeks until his brother came wouldn't have been a big deal. I personally would end the relationship. I couldn't possibly overlook how cruel and heartless of a decision she made.

Moving himself and the wife so the cat can stay, not a solution. But I can't believe the wife's first thought is to give the cat to a shelter instead of asking if a friend, or her parents could take care of it for the two weeks. Like how cold can you be? Did you hate the cat this entire time?

I totally, fully agree with OP's answer to millac. He is not an AH at all.

Call me whatever you want. I would, without thought, pick my pets over any human, any day. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Drop the wife. Everyone writing YTA, ... no words that would pass censory for that bunch!

This was posted on Reddit a year ago. That makes me angry because I can't comment on it. He was found to be an AH. Despite what his b!tch wife did. That poor cat died alone and scared. I hope to god he divorced her, I could never ever forgive someone that did that to me

If the wife can do that to an elderly cat . Specially a cat that she knows for 7 years... then I wouldnt trust her with a kid. if you can not act like a decent human being with an animal, then forget about being a decent parent or a decent partner. I would divorce her right away k. She showed her true colors, and those are the colors of cruelty , ignorance and selfishness . Massive red flags. Her allergy is probably going to go away after the kid is born and all would be for nothing. Disgusting!

It really doesn't matter who is wrong or right or what would have been the best solution anymore. The fact is that this elderly cat died, not at home and peaceful, but discarded, alone and scared. Will he be able to move past this? Perhaps. The death of a pet can be every bit as traumatic as the death of a human being. I would have gladly stayed somewhere else for two weeks, for what is two weeks when it comes to a cat of this advanced age? I had a dog that, nearing the end of his life, needed a lot of care. I could never forgive myself if, after all the love and companionship my dog showed me for fourteen years, I couldn't muster up the will to nurse him and eventually put him to sleep in his own bed in his own home, being cuddled by us.

NTA - I’d leave the b***h and not think twice & just co-parent. My husband was allergic to cats and I told him point blank that the cats were here before him and will be here after him. He got a shot once a month for the allergy and eventually he was no longer allergic for whatever reason. SHE LITERALLY MURDERED YOUR CAT - that cat died an agonizing and very scary death, how can you possibly stay with that damn psychopath?! She’s not worth it in any capacity.

The people saying "It's just a cat! Your wife takes priority!" In the YTA comments SURE. Let's step up above the fact that an animal is a living being, and that this one died confused and terrified... Just for a second, it's just a stupid cat. That leaves us with OP who's been working hard on on a problem that's incredibly important to him. He's being very careful, taking his time, making sure he does it right. It is causing his wife problems, which he knows, which is why he's not putting it off, but it's still going to take time. She only sees HER problem and doesn't care at all about how important this is to her husband, and doesn't care when he tells her why her suggestions and demands aren't the right way to fix this. She waits until his back is turned, swoops in, and throws all his hard careful work in the garbage. He finds out, but too late. After all that, how can he trust her with anything of importance to him ever again?

I get both sides but the wife is the major AH.

She is a monster. The worst is coming.

NTA. I can relate to this guy. Animals become family members, and deserve to be respected as such. If this happened to me with my dog, I'd hold onto such deep anger and resentment towards the person who abandoned him at the shelter. I wouldn't be able to look at them, much less stay in a relationship with them. What the wife did was cruel, horrific, thoughtless, disrespectful, selfish, and callous.

He is so nta and she is ta and heartless. He was working on a solution and the b just dumps the cat? I'd seriously consider divorce and fighting for simple custody of the kid. Because what's she gonna do if something is wrong with the baby? Dump the baby too. She's a royal c-nt.

It doesn't matter when it happens in a relationship: when they ask you to get rid of your pet, it's over. A pet is family. It's as brutal and heartless to ask somebody to surrender a pet than giving away your previous children. The pills for the cat allergy will work. There is even a serum you can get every 6 months. The story just tells me this woman didn't love her man that much, otherwise she wouldn't break her heart this way, allergy or not. I live with a man who chose pill allergies :) my 2 cats lived and died with him, and we adopted two more cats together.

I love the original comment's poor wife what about her needs or the poor unborn baby f*****g c**t she killed his pet I have cats if someone did that to me I'd freaking kill them she murdered a family member but no poor her I freaking hate people I really do

Are you fvcking kidding me? She murdered his cat! Personally that would be divorce material for me. But then again I would never have married a heartless b!tch in the first place!

This is really sad. I'm definitely team cat and it made me upset to hear of its passing.

If I was this guy, I don't think I could ever feel the same about my spouse again. It's not that he didn't love and care about his wife, it was that she should have understood how agonizing this was for him, but she was too self-centered to see it. Maybe, if she cared enough, they could have figured out a solution together. But this thing she did to prove a point--the fact that he didn't yell or argue with her, just asked where his cat was--there will always be a huge wedge between them; if the relationship survives at all.

NTA. OP was willing to compromise on rehoming his cat; wife was not. Two weeks at her parents' house wouldn't have killed her. It would have been the perfect solution: brother comes home, rehomes cat. Optional: OP has house and upholstery thoroughly cleaned before wife comes home, in order to remove any remaining dander. Win-win, all the way around. But NO-O-O-O-O-O-O, wife had to behave like a spoiled child and dump family cat in a shelter. She didn't actually kill the cat, but I'm sure that she knew that the chances of a 16-year-old cat being adopted were practically non-existent, and was probably hoping he would be euthanized before OP could get him back. Dying of what might have been a heart attack must have really made her day.

First of all, no one wins here. Clearly he wanted what was best for everyone. I would have agreed for the two weeks, but no longer, since the cat deserves happiness too. If she was so allergic, taking him to a shelter must have been awful. But it's pretty awful to do that and act like it's cool.

That made me mad. I had rescued a cat many years ago. Made sure to get allergy tested first, was given green light I was not allergic. Four months into living with my first cat(bestest cat for first time cat mom) I developed allergies. Horrible hives that burned, was itchy and painful. I even ended up in ER twice for steroid shots because of the swelling. I didn't jump to drop him off at shelter. I waited to find a perfect home for him even though I was suffering. What the wife did here, heartless and very selfish. Poor OP, I feel for him.

i would leave the wife right away. she is an absolut monster. wishing the worst on her.

I have lived with cat allergies all my life. I have been miserable around them even with allergy meds. That being said, I would never ask someone I care about to throw away a pet they have had for 16 years. That is heartless and shows who this woman really is. When someone tells you who they are, you should listen.

A few days after my mom's funeral (I was 14 when she died) my aunt who myself and my brother were left to,decided that my cousin (her daughter) was severly allergic to my cats. Mind you this same cousin was over my house every single day for almost two years with no issues. She boxed my two cats and took them to a shelter where they were put down. I lied to my brother and told him they had been adopted. I hate my aunt to this day. I wish I never read this post.

Wife is a horrible person! She could have waited the 2 weeks. Wah wah wah pregnancy is not a disability deserving special treatment. Better he found out now what a monster bizitch wifey really is, Hope he divorces her, and hopefully she treats her kid better than the poor, old cat. I have my doubts, people like her think their needs always come first.