Teen So Creeped Out By Sister’s BFF’s Crush On Him, He Decides To Move Out

Invalidating a child’s feelings is one of the worst things any parent can do. These actions are not only hurtful as they happen, but the pain from such psychological abuse may linger for a long time. 

This was the experience of a teenage boy who dealt with the untoward advances of his sister’s best friend. Instead of helping him ward her off, his parents downplayed the situation as a “harmless crush.”

The situation forced him to move out and run off to his grandparents, but his actions only caused more tension within the family. 

A teenage boy had been dealing with untoward advances from his sister’s best friend

Teen sitting by a window, looking distressed, wearing a maroon shirt, contemplating harassment issues.

Image credits: New Africa / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Despite how she made him uncomfortable, his parents dismissed it as a “harmless crush”

Teen discusses family conflict over sister's best friend, feeling harassed and deciding to run away.

Text describing a teen's struggle with parent's view on harassment as a harmless prank.

Text about dismissing concerns of harassment, mentioning Meg, a crush, and being part of the family.

Text describing harassment incidents between teens in a bedroom setting.

Text describing uncomfortable interactions leading to a teen avoiding the outdoors, calling harassment a "harmless prank.

Teen in distress talking to a concerned girl outdoors, illustrating sibling-related prank issues.

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

The situation got so out of hand that he was forced to leave home and move in with his grandparents

Text about a teen locking their bedroom door to escape unwanted attention from sister's friend, described by parents as a prank.

Text describing teen's experience with unwanted attention, feeling unsupported and avoiding certain areas to escape harassment.

Excerpt discussing harassment experiences and parental reactions labeled as pranks.

Text excerpt about a teen dealing with family dismissing harassment as a prank, seeking refuge with grandparents.

Text describing a teen's defiance against parents after harassment and running away.

Text screenshot about unwelcomed visit and family boundaries, involving grandparents and two individuals, Meg and Lana.

Teen discusses family reunion and choosing to skip it due to harassment issues.

Text excerpt discusses a teen feeling unsafe due to perceived harassment by sister's friend.

Teen blocks ears as man talks, expressing frustration from years of harassment labeled as a "harmless prank.

Image credits: vgstockstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

However, his actions only caused more division within their family

Text excerpt describing teen's challenges with unwanted attention from sister's friend.

Text of grandparents blaming parents for failing to protect child from harassment.

Image credits: FabulousHand3789

The effects of parental gaslighting can carry over into adulthood

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

At 17, the boy had already experienced repeated gaslighting from his parents. According to author and counsellor Dominic Decker, it can happen in various forms, including blame shifting, dismissal of emotions, invalidation, and trivializing, all of which the parents did. 

Parental gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that may linger for a long time. In this case, the story’s author may experience it through his adult years. 

As clinical psychologist Dr. Daniel S. Lobel explains in an article for Psychology Today, the abused child may find it difficult to trust themselves, their memories, and their perception of reality.

According to Dr. Lobel, these individuals tend to grow up with insecurities about their abilities.

“They suffer considerable anxiety and often underachieve, as they underestimate their abilities and lack confidence,” he wrote, adding that the person may struggle with decision-making or taking on leadership roles. 

Dr. Lobel says parents suffering from mental disorders like borderline and narcissistic personalities are more likely to gaslight their children because they “loathe to take responsibility for errors or unwanted consequences.” 

Self-compassion can help curb the effects of parental gaslighting

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

A person carrying trauma from parental gaslighting may feel dejected and hopeless and think, “the damage has been done.” However, experts encourage practicing self-compassion and acceptance. 

Dr. Lobel says the first step is understanding that gaslighting could have been the parents’ coping mechanism, emphasizing that “you are not actually incompetent.” Step two is about taking risks and trusting your abilities rather than seeking validation from others. 

“Though painful, this process can change your life by giving you a level of peace of mind that you never dreamed you could attain,” Dr. Lobel stated. 

Decker adds that establishing emotional distance is also essential when dealing with toxic behavior from a parent. He emphasizes the importance of refusing to be consumed by the negativity and instead acknowledging its impact and your desire to overturn it. 

The author did the right thing by running off to his grandparents, who are influential enough to deal with his mother and father. At his age, he had enough self-awareness to see how unhealthy his home environment was.

Most commenters sided with the author, with a few pointing out how the situation would be different if the roles were reversed

Discussion of parents dismissing harassment as a prank, leading to teen running away.

Reddit comments discuss teen harassment dismissed as "harmless prank" by parents, advice given for safety and support.

Text discussing parents' reaction to harassment, viewed as prank, with suggestions on handling similar behavior towards a sister.

Text exchange about harassment, with advice to protect oneself and appreciation for support.

Reddit comments discussing teen harassment, emphasizing family boundaries and support against a sister's friend.

Reddit discussion about teen's harassment and school intervention.

Reddit users discuss a teen's escape from harassment labeled as a "harmless prank" by parents.

Online comment on harassment, discussing respect and autonomy for a teen choosing to run away for safety.

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Text advising teen to assert boundaries for harassment prevention, suggesting louder resistance and room lock for safety.

Text conversation about family hypocrisy and relationships, highlighting teen's escape from ongoing harassment.

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Reddit comment discussing teen’s escape from harassment, criticizing parents for dismissing it as a prank.

Reddit comment discussing harassment, questioning parental reaction, and mentioning protective grandparents.

Text advising action against harassment labeled a "harmless prank" by parents, urging police involvement for protection.

Text exchange discussing harassment and gender roles with a comment defending the teen's perspective.

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