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Overbearing Mom Wants To Track Adult Daughter’s Phone, Won’t Take No For An Answer
An overbearing parent can be the source of much frustration, especially once you’re an independent adult. Whether they’re trying to control your decisions or claiming they know what’s best for you, it can all get to be a bit much.
One 28-year-old woman’s overprotective mom is a perfect example, demanding that she let her install a tracking app on her phone. Exhausted by her mother’s constant harassment about it, she’s considering caving, but first turned to netizens for advice.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
A helicopter parent can be the worst, as this woman is finding out the hard way
Image credits: bokodi / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her overprotective mother showed up at her work in tears because she couldn’t get hold of her
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The next day her mom asked her if she could install a tracking app on her phone
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman refused, saying she wouldn’t be comfortable with that, but her mom kept nagging her
Image credits: NoPomegranate4794
Exhausted by her mom’s harassment, she’s turned to netizens to ask if she should just give in to stop the badgering
OP begins her story by telling the community that she has a very overprotective mother and travels a lot for work. She goes on to say that her job had her coming into town, so she was planning on seeing her mom after a meeting. Annoyingly, her mom kept calling her during the meeting, so OP sent her a text explaining the situation.
When the meeting was over, OP was about to call her when a colleague of hers let her know her mom was looking for her – she’d actually come to OP’s place of work and was wandering around outside. When OP called her, she said through tears that she was worried about her.
Well, the next day, OP’s mom asked her if she could put a tracking app on her phone. OP told her she wouldn’t be comfortable with that, but her mom insisted, saying it would only be for emergencies. OP told her that was a slippery slope she didn’t intend going down, and once again refused.
Her mom argued that, thanks to therapy, she wasn’t as overprotective as she used to be, to which OP replied that she could run the tracker app idea past her therapist and see what they have to say about it. OP concludes her post by telling the readers that her mom’s nagging is exhausting her and she’s considering caving just to shut her up.
From what OP tells us, it seems she’s not just dealing with a helicopter mom, but an entitled one too. Her insistence that OP allow her to install the tracking app is a clear indicator of just how much control she’s trying to exert. If you know a parent like her, you can probably relate. So, what’s the best way for OP to deal with her? We went looking for answers.
Image credits: Đức Trịnh / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
In her article for Marriage.com, Rachael Pace writes that overprotective parenting often stems from love but can have unintended negative effects, from impacting your confidence to making it hard to make decisions independently. But just what happens when you’re constantly protected from life’s challenges?
According to Pace, it’s likely you’ll experience a lack of independence and suffer from low self-esteem. To add to that, you could experience strain in your relationships because you struggle to trust others. You might also have overwhelming anxiety when faced with unfamiliar situations.
In her post for ChoosingTherapy, Ashley Stuck puts forward several strategies for dealing with a controlling parent. A few of these include setting and sticking to your boundaries, establishing realistic expectations, building a support system, reframing negative thoughts, choosing your battles, and limiting disclosure of personal info.
It certainly looks like it’s time for OP to stand her ground and tell her mom there’s no way she’s installing the tracking app, end of story. If she doesn’t, her mom is only going to keep sticking her nose in where it isn’t wanted, and nobody needs that.
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think she should put her foot down, or just give in to her mother’s demands? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers agreed that the woman’s mom had no business tracking her phone, especially considering her age, and many urged her to put her foot down and stand her ground
What do you think ?
TribbleThinking 4 weeks ago (edited)
She's NOT being protective. She's being controlling and sabotaging your career. She's also got too much free time on her hands. Withdraw any financial or practical support and make her earn her practical needs - that should keep her partially occupied. Inform her that every time she bugs you, contact will cease for a week, then two, then three, etc. Just hang up, send her a text confirming the one week timeout and block, lock the doors, place a poster in the window for her pulling the "worried, called the police" trick, put on headphones.
Tyke 4 weeks ago
Perhaps OP should go to just one therapy session with the Mother to see if the therapist can help her see OP's point of view, AND ensure Mother is being 100% open and honest. Also, time to get tough and say, "you can message me x times a week, you must wait 4 hours before following up, we will speak on the phone x times a week, blah blah" and outside of that she must find other avenues to deal with her anxiety. Need to set very very clear boundaries. And hell no she shouldn't ever let her Mother track - that will make the situation worse not better
Lailu 4 weeks ago
I wouldn't give the mother that credit personally. She's overstepped the mark; she gets to lie in the bed of s**t she's made.
Load More Replies... TribbleThinking 4 weeks ago (edited)
She's NOT being protective. She's being controlling and sabotaging your career. She's also got too much free time on her hands. Withdraw any financial or practical support and make her earn her practical needs - that should keep her partially occupied. Inform her that every time she bugs you, contact will cease for a week, then two, then three, etc. Just hang up, send her a text confirming the one week timeout and block, lock the doors, place a poster in the window for her pulling the "worried, called the police" trick, put on headphones.
Tyke 4 weeks ago
Perhaps OP should go to just one therapy session with the Mother to see if the therapist can help her see OP's point of view, AND ensure Mother is being 100% open and honest. Also, time to get tough and say, "you can message me x times a week, you must wait 4 hours before following up, we will speak on the phone x times a week, blah blah" and outside of that she must find other avenues to deal with her anxiety. Need to set very very clear boundaries. And hell no she shouldn't ever let her Mother track - that will make the situation worse not better
Lailu 4 weeks ago
I wouldn't give the mother that credit personally. She's overstepped the mark; she gets to lie in the bed of s**t she's made.
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