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Lady Has Been Ruining Relatives’ Lives With Her Words For Years, Daughter Ends Up Snapping At Her
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Lady Has Been Ruining Relatives’ Lives With Her Words For Years, Daughter Ends Up Snapping At Her

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Many people have relatives they can’t stand or at least that often they don’t get along with. For some, it’s uncles, cousins, or someone else they don’t have that much contact with. For others, this member can even be someone as close as a parent. 

That’s the exact situation of today’s OP. Her mom drives her mad by ruining every single party she’s at, usually by saying something so terrible that everyone holds their breath. And then, when someone tries to uninvite her, she always finds a way to manipulate her way back and cause further chaos.

More info: Mumsnet

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    Sometimes it feels like certain people are deliberately being a menace to their family members

    Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Like the author’s mom, who always says or does something to ruin every party she’s at

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    Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk/ Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    For example, she brings up death, funerals and burials while everyone is eating cake or secretly eats the expensive sweets her grandchild gets as a present

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    Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    Another time, when she was responsible for bringing a cake for her grandson, she brought one she liked and he despised

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    Image credits: Mememeandmeagain

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    So, it’s no wonder why all of this insufferable behavior is driving her daughter mad, to the point that she asked for advice online on what she should do

    The main reason why the OP became one in the first place is her mom. To be more specific, the mom’s entitlement, which usually shows itself at children’s parties. There are plenty of examples of it. 

    For instance, one of the OP’s kids doesn’t have that many friends, as she was bullied at school. So, her birthday party guests usually are her family, which, of course, includes her grandma. While parents and other family members can be great companions to fill the hours for kids and teenagers, sadly, theycan’t replace the bond that a kid forms with friends. Still, it’s better than them being alone. 

    One time, during this girl’s birthday, the girl was thrilled that her mom’s colleagues had remembered to text happy birthday to her. This caught grandma’s ear. So, she said something like “I’m so shocked. I thought no one cared about your birthday other than me, I thought I was the only one wishing you a happy birthday every year.” 

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    Another party the woman ruined the vibe of was the OP’s cousin’s sweet 16. While they were eating cake, out of nowhere the author’s mom started talking about how her uncle died sitting on the toilet and how she wouldn’t want to die that way. 

    While it’s quite an embarrassing way to go, it is pretty common. In fact, it’s common enough to have a full-blownWikipedia article listing people who died this way. It contains such famous names as Judy Garland and Elvis Presley. Still, even though this type of passing is common and even celebrities aren’t immune to it, it doesn’t mean it’s a good topic to discuss during cake eating. The original poster’s mom clearly missed that memo.

    Apparently, this woman likes discussing death in general, not just bathroom-related passings. During one of the author’s nephew’s birthdays, again while they were eating the cake, she brought up funerals and burials. She talked about putting up a nice gravestone for her parents, saving for her funeral, and her aversion to being cremated. 

    Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    These mentioned cases aren’t the only times she managed to ruin a party’s vibe. As we said in the beginning, there are plenty of examples. She also called her daughter’s cousin a deadweight and a liability during her birthday just because she got a diagnosis that left her unable to stand or move. Saying that to someone on an ordinary day is a terrible move, but on someone’s birthday… Well, it’s way more than awful. 

    Also, one time she was trusted to buy a cake for her grandson’s birthday, and instead of buying something he liked, she picked her favorite one. When confronted about it, she started going on about how she was allowed to buy any cake she liked. Once she also ate the expensive sweets and cake her grandson was gifted by his father. As we can see, her track record with cake-related activities isn’t good. 

    What makes matters even worse is that anytime her daughter asks her to stop this kind of behavior, she ignores her, finds a way to justify it, or acts like a victim. So, it’s no wonder the OP is slowly losing her mind when it comes to this. 

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    So, she vented about it online, and folks found it confusing why the family remained in contact with her. All of this sounds upsetting, and she shouldn’t be invited to the parties, as she keeps ruining them. 

    To this, the author answered that she doesn’t want to invite her, but the mom manipulates her way into the parties over and over again. She goes to the kids, tells them she won’t do anything bad again, and cries until they cave in. According to the OP, she has always been mean, but she started showing her true colors to everyone in the last couple of years. 

    Well, at this point we don’t even know what we could advise the woman to do. Common sense (and netizens) says that she should stop giving in to her mom’s manipulations and inviting her to parties, but sometimes standing up for yourself isn’t as easy as it sounds. We can only hope that one day she’ll find the strength in herself to do that.

    Netizens were shocked that someone could be so awful and told the woman to stop inviting her mom, but she clarified that it isn’t that easy, as she always manipulates her way back

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    Poll Question

    What would you do if someone continually manipulated their way into your gatherings despite being uninvited?

    Stand firm and not let them in

    Talk to them about their behavior

    Invite them anyway to avoid drama

    Seek advice from friends or online

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    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

    Read less »
    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Ugnė Bulotaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

    Read less »

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Rūta Zumbrickaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! Nice to meet you~ I'm very passionate about animals, especially cats, photography, small DIY projects, music and so much more! Could say I am the TV show The Office connoisseur since I have seen it at least a dozen times~

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Narcissistic, manipulative, main character b***h. I hope her daughter can break this circle after explaining this to her kids. It's toxic. "If we don't invite her, it will kill her" - anyone else think that's a simple solution?

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the things my siblings and I have said about someone who threatened to kill themselves if they didn't get their way, "They're a grown person, they can do what they want." Obviously, I'd take most threats of suicide seriously, but not from an older person saying that rejection will directly cause their death.

    Load More Replies...
    Btsquestrian
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother (with whom I now only maintain contact with via text message so there is a paper trail) always does this at extended family events whenever someone else is the center of attention.

    Hodge Elmwood
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what it is. She knows that saying outrageous things will turn everyone's attention to her. I also think she likes the reactions she gets, whether it's shock, anger, or hurt. OP needs to go low contact with her, for her own sanity if the kids don't care one way or the other.

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It really sounds like the birthday is irrelevant, when OPs mother has the opportunity to shock or say mean things she takes it. I expect she's only invited when it's a special occasion and people can't justify not inviting her. If they keep inviting her, make it a family wide game with a prìze. Have different scenarios that you pull out of a hat, like talks about death, criticises appearance, says host has no friends, tries to gross everyone out.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But make every one of those scenarios about Mom. Like she looks terrible, or she has no friends, or something to embarrass and gross HER out for once. See how SHE likes being on the receiving end of it. Most likely she can dish it out but not take it, and will probably leave in a huff or throw a wet hen hissy fit right there and then. Let her embarrass herself. Then stop inviting her unless she gets a full psych eval done—-with OP going along and getting written proof directly from her doctor. If Mom is in a mental decline, she can go into a home. If not, she can be removed from the guest lists for future parties.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Narcissistic, manipulative, main character b***h. I hope her daughter can break this circle after explaining this to her kids. It's toxic. "If we don't invite her, it will kill her" - anyone else think that's a simple solution?

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the things my siblings and I have said about someone who threatened to kill themselves if they didn't get their way, "They're a grown person, they can do what they want." Obviously, I'd take most threats of suicide seriously, but not from an older person saying that rejection will directly cause their death.

    Load More Replies...
    Btsquestrian
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother (with whom I now only maintain contact with via text message so there is a paper trail) always does this at extended family events whenever someone else is the center of attention.

    Hodge Elmwood
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what it is. She knows that saying outrageous things will turn everyone's attention to her. I also think she likes the reactions she gets, whether it's shock, anger, or hurt. OP needs to go low contact with her, for her own sanity if the kids don't care one way or the other.

    Load More Replies...
    FreeTheUnicorn
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It really sounds like the birthday is irrelevant, when OPs mother has the opportunity to shock or say mean things she takes it. I expect she's only invited when it's a special occasion and people can't justify not inviting her. If they keep inviting her, make it a family wide game with a prìze. Have different scenarios that you pull out of a hat, like talks about death, criticises appearance, says host has no friends, tries to gross everyone out.

    Tabitha
    Community Member
    5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But make every one of those scenarios about Mom. Like she looks terrible, or she has no friends, or something to embarrass and gross HER out for once. See how SHE likes being on the receiving end of it. Most likely she can dish it out but not take it, and will probably leave in a huff or throw a wet hen hissy fit right there and then. Let her embarrass herself. Then stop inviting her unless she gets a full psych eval done—-with OP going along and getting written proof directly from her doctor. If Mom is in a mental decline, she can go into a home. If not, she can be removed from the guest lists for future parties.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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