I would be very wary of people who claim their kids are their greatest accomplishments, since their sense of self-worth is so tied-up with their kids. Kids have their own personalities, they are not an extension of their parents. What if their kid doesn't turn out the way the parents have envisioned? These people are not the right company for you. They are entitled to their opinion of course, but I'm afraid you will never see eye-to-eye with them and this will always be a bone of contention in one way or another. Maybe try to agree to disagree if it's not possible to have just a superficial contact?

I'd probably be more angry about 'Tom' jumping in and answering on my behalf, rather than about assumptions he made concerning accomplishments, especially since it he's just a neighbour, not a close friend.

My greatest accomplishment is eating an extra large pizza in 10 minutes. No kid will compare to that.

Kids are not some project that you improve, saying they're your accomplishment is like saying that they're just extension of you. It's ok to be proud of your kids, but raising them well shouldn't be your greatest accomplishment, it's your responsibility as a parent.

NTA. This conversation makes me SO ANGRY.

F_cking and reeding are not "achievements", and raising kids is an obligation most take on voluntarily. An achievement is fulfilling an ambition.

I have 3 children. They are NOT my greatest accomplishments. Making them was mad easy and quite enjoyable (ok pearl clutchers go ahead and downvote) but my GREATEST achievement by far was keeping myself and them alive, fed, clothed & housed when the entire world seemed to be against us at every turn. THAT was an accomplishment.

I was so taken aback by the weird convo that I forgot about the part where they followed up and reported her to her husband for not equating children with gold star stickers. Hopefully the kids aren't too fond of each other because OP and husband need to get away from that toxic cult and find friends who want to be people and not checklists for better homes and gardens.

I had someone tell me that Marie Curie winning *two* Nobel Prizes wasn't as big an accomplishment as the fact that she had children was. Apparently nothing a woman achieves can possibly compare to a biological function that even a rat can do: give birth and raise offspring.

Do you think they just have a weird alternate universe definition of achievement? They seem to be confusing things I love with biggest achievement, which aren't even close. Maybe adoration and achievement? Toxic weirdos though, I'd avoid as much as possible, but it's their children I really feel sorry for.

Children aren't a DIY project to build an adult to your standards. I'm guessing the neighbours kids will list among their acocmplaiments later in life that they got out from under the controlling, belittling influence of their parents to find a healthy place in life.

Breeding is not some miraculous accomplishment. Reducing women to breeders and cattle is offensive. People like that have no self worth. They have accomplished nothing to be proud that doesn’t rely on outdated stereotypes and using their children as their “accomplishments”.

I love being a mom. I wanted to be a mom my whole life. The first time my mom dropped me at daycare as a toddler, I spent the time following around the people taking care of the infants and wanting to help. That never changed. I started babysitting early, volunteered at a daycare center at age 12, and worked with kids as a preschool teacher, substitute teacher, nanny, etc. I was over the moon when I had my first baby. And two more followed. I love kids, and having my own has definitely been the highlight of my life. But when people ask about my greatest accomplishment, I never think of my kids. That's a separate thing. Having kids was just something I chose to do. It's not an accomplishment. Goals that I've set for myself, worked toward and achieved--those are accomplishments. And I have a list of those that have nothing to do with my being a mom.

What people don't understand is that everyone has different strengths and resources. So for some raising good kids is a piece of cake but getting an education and being resilient is difficult and for others it is the reverse. Your greatest accomplishment is the thing that was hardest for you

NTA. First of all, just giving birth on its own doesn't achieve anything. It's hard to bear, but doesn't seem like hard to understand how to do. Second, your kids upbringing isn't finished yet, so calling it an accomplishment is out of date, to the early side, for ANY of you. Not because it wouldn't be something to be proud of if done considerably well, of course it is, but it just isn't time to call yet. You still could make it your greatest mistake, or, maybe that's worded better, it still could turn to be the greatest failing in your life, if you screw up from here on. Ok, not likely to happen, but ... the third reason I wouldn't want to call it so is that kids are persons, not just a result of your upbringing. Of course, they're that, too, but they also aren't in your complete control, and somewhat of themselves anyway. They're not trophies, but (growingly so) independent persons.

I wouldn't to deal with any of those people. yikes

If she's a jerk for feeling attacked by a comment like that, then he's also a jerk for butting in and answering for her, and -he- was a jerk first. She didn't say anything rude out loud: those were just her thoughts at the time. All she told him was that she didn't want to be reduced to her female body, which is perfectly reasonable...

Good grief my kids fall about half way. They have grown into Good, kind, smart adults with their heads on tge right way. All I did was give birth and tried to teach them how to be adults - I did my job. My greatest accomplishments are other things that define me as the person I am. My kids are their own people creating their own greatest accomplishments

It depends on the person. Everyone views their accomplishments as something different. Accomplishments are subjective.

having kids would be the greatest accomplishment.. for those who put it on the very top of their bucket list.. 😅😅😅

A woman of many achievements, the double Noble Prize winner Maria Curie had two children. We don't know whether she considered them her greatest accomplishment, but she positively glowed when she talked about them.

For some people, all they've ever wanted was to be a parent. And their children being well behaved good kids is icing on the cake. For other people, raising kids is just what's expected of them, not really what they want in life. So, their kids are just a "job" to them.

My daughter is a massively important person in my life, I’m proud of who she has become and how she carries hereslf, however she’s not my greatest achievement, that reduces her to being a thing. My achievements are all focussed on what I have done personally, mountains I’ve conquered literally and metaphorically. She is the combination of many people, many experiences and she can claim her own mountains and I’ll happily stand by as one of her supporters. She can tell you what her greatest achievement is.

Personally, I agree with the responder that said that they "all sound insufferable". This sounds like it could have been a subplot in Passion Fish.

This is 100% a cultural and/or personal perspective thing. Read through all the comments and see the different perspectives. I don't think either of the people are wrong for having their own perspectives, but the way they're delivering them isn't right. OP clearly felt like like her other accomplishments in life were being invalidated, whereas other parents have gotten the "you were so good at XYZ before you were a parent" spiel, which is also invalidating. People need to be more sensitive when they approach these topics.