I can't imagine what it would be like to value some outdated religious dogma over a strong and loving relationship with your own daughter. How sad that this woman cannot recognise what she is doing to the relationship with her daughter.

I'd be completely embarrased to visit my parents if I thought they'd be this preoccupied with my sex life. Very creepy.

What if they never get married? Plenty of couples stay together long term but never marry.

What I don't understand is the mother insisting that they can only sleep in the same bed at their house until after their married. But what difference does it make when they're ALREADY living together and sharing a bed together? They're already sharing a bed at their own house, so what the hell is signing some documents going to change? That mother and father are ridiculous and just plain weird.

Your house, your rules. But playing the victim when your daughter doesn't visit you as often as you expect is just ridicules.

Sorry if I sound rude : the bare truth of that is parents feeling unable to overcome the idea of their ADULT childs having sex. Call it what you will, but insisting on marriage (i.e religious union) as the only way to make it acceptable seems extremely regressive, and this lady might need a good psychoanalysis rather than leading her daughter to the church.

She CHOSE to alienate her daughter and now she's whining because it worked. Got it. It won't be long before the daughter cuts all contact with this bitchy nut case of a mother.

This article misses the discussion where people wondered why the sole responsibility of visits was on the daughter rather than shared.

Some really good wisdom in these comments. I grew up with parents who were the same way. I was still living at home (21F) at their insistence when my bf (24M) got stuck at our house during an ice storm. They were so worried what the neighbors would think if they saw his car there overnight, they made him drive home in an ice storm--through the mountains two counties over! I married him that year just to get out of there.

I want to know if you slept with your hubby prior to marriage. And I could understand if they were in their late teens and just got together but my gosh they have lived together for TWO years and in their mid 20's which leads me to believe they will be husband and wife one day. And for sake of argument, let's say they don't. But remain together? What if they never get married? come on.

Maybe your rules are a bit dumb and you should re-evaluate why you have them?

My ex's parents had the same rule, even after we were dating for over 5 years and living together. We still respected it though. We only went home to her parents house once a year during Thanksgiving or Christmas when the house was so full of family that anything other than sleeping would have been out of the question (though we did manage to find some "special together time" in the car outside the house). My ex was willing to go along with the rule to prevent causing holiday stress. When the parents came to visit us, then we slept together as usual, the "no sleeping together before marriage" rule only applied in their house. One funny thing is that we went on an overseas trip with her parents once, they booked our hotel room... with 2 single beds! Which we just pushed together and night, and pulled apart in the morning.

The rule itself is actually wrong too. Your house is not above law and human rights. You can set the rule that people need to take off shoes or wash hands, whatever, but not rules that cross personal boundaries. How would this mum feel if she and her husband went to stay at her daughter’s and were told to sleep in separate beds? I’ve been in the same situation at the hands of my boyfriend’s mother, and it makes you feel unwelcome and openly insulted when you get shown to a separate bedroom even though you live together with the man. Every time we go to visit them it’s a lot of stress for me and feels super uncomfortable.

When you know and have no problem with the fact that your daughter is living together with her boyfriend, you're quite a bigot when you have a rule "No sleeping together before marriage under my roof." Perhaps the daughter doesn't like to hang out with bigots.

I'm always amazed at the number of people that do not understand that actions (even those that are moral/justified in their eyes) have ramifications. Action=reaction. Your 25 year old child does not owe you a visit unless there is some agreement, social or otherwise. And just an FYI, your kid might just not like you very much. But you should be proud of them for respecting your wishes and following your 'rules'.

My brother's now in-laws did this and their relationship still hasn't recovered. Particularly as they did not enforce the rule with the sister's boyfriend who they clearly liked better. I think it is a stupid thing to do

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It would be funny if they have children and don't get married. Imagine the grandparents explaining to the grandchildren that mommy and daddy have to sleep in separate rooms because they are not married.

What would happen if they decided to have a child without being married? Would that rule still hold? Would they still try to enforce it if it meant the couple wouldn't visit as often WITH their grandchild?