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Nowhere on this earth do you expect to feel as safe as in the doctor’s office. It’s where we come at our most vulnerable, looking for genuine help and understanding.
But according to some women on TikTok, this is not always what you find there and they’re now sharing the most inappropriate things they were told by a doctor. The trend started when one TikToker, @kristamackenziee, shared an incident during her skin checkup.
“He was an older man and I was intimidated by him,” the woman recounted and proceeded to talk about taking her shirt off to show him the affected area. At this point, the doctor dropped a comment that left her speechless and made her feel super uncomfortable.
Turns out, she was not the only one having experienced a disturbing comment from a medical professional. So let’s see what other women have shared in response to @kristamackenziee’s question “What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has ever said to you?”
@kristamackenziee Creepy AF!! Mom gave him shit afterwards. ##doctor ##psoriasis ##foryoupage ##fyp ##follow ##foryou
♬ original sound - Krista
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#1
I was 15 when I was raped. I didn't tell nobody but I still went to go get checked with a doctor for std's/sti's but they didn't know that. While they were swabbing me down there I started to cry cause it hurt and I was scared. And the doctor said "don't cry now you're the one who decided to open your legs at 15"
Bored Panda reached out to Krista Wiseman, a social media content creator and mom of three girls sharing her journey through motherhood with her Instagram, TikTok and YouTube followers. Krista was also the TikToker who got women sharing the most inappropriate things they were told at the doctor's office after she posted this viral video.
“It is very unfortunate, but I think some doctors feel they are 'above' their patients because of their title and their education,” Krista told Bored Panda. “Maybe they feel they can get away with more because of that, or they feel they are entitled to speak their mind because they have worked hard to get to where they are.”
The author also said that “obviously this isn’t true for all doctors, but I’ve had many bad experiences myself and so have the women who came forward on TikTok!”
#2
My husband and I had a miscarriage within the first year we were together. I was bleeding so we went to the ER. They were like 'there's nothing wrong with you'. I went to the bathroom and ended up birthing our baby in the toilet. I ring the emergency bell. They come in. And they look... they flush the baby down the toilet. I, in shock, walk out to my husband. He says 'what just happened?'. And I', like 'the doctor just flushed out baby down the toilet'. He [the doctor] came in and said 'Well what else were we supposed to do, it was already dead'.
#3
So I had to start seeing a brand new doctor because I was having a bunch of issues with my skin. Turns out it was psoriasis, but we had no idea what was going on. So I got referred to this new doctor. He was an older man and I was a little bit intimidated by him at first. So the appointment starts and he's asking me all kinds of questions and then he asks to see the rash. And one of the issues I was having was in my armpit. So I was trying to show him like through my shirt. And it was kind of hard to show the whole thing. So I was like, oh, should I just take off my shirt? And this man sits back in his chair and says, yes, excite me. What? I honestly didn't even know what to say at this point. I took off my shirt and I felt extremely uncomfortable. I had a lacy bralette on and this man is just like staring at me. Anyways, after the appointment, my mom ended up going back in and giving him sh*t.
#4
The doctor that I was going to for my birth control was checking it. And I had mirena (spiral), and I could tell that it had moved, it was uncomfortable, that she needed to check it better. She said, well, let's check it, come in. And checked it. She was like, nope, it didn't move. And I was like, well, how about taking it out? Because I'm having a lot of issues. And she says, no, you don't need any more kids. You're young, you have enough. Then proceeds to tell me after ab ultrasound, oh, no, you really do need it removed, because it moved. So we're gonna get you into surgery. Then, doesn't tell me or the doctor that is performing the surgery that I'm pregnant. And then, after I have already found out that the pregnancy was terminated after the surgery, calls and says, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you were pregnant.
When asked if she’d handle the situation differently now, Krista said that she definitely would if it happened again. “I’ve been making an effort to speak up for myself more, especially if I feel I’m not being treated properly.”
“When the doctor made the comment telling me to 'excite him' I think I was in shock, which is one of the reasons why I chose not to say anything. Being a survivor of sexual assault, I froze and didn’t know what I should say or do.”
Krista said that being in therapy, she learned that this response is normal. “I would hope that if I was faced with the situation again I could gather the courage to speak up and tell him that what he is saying is inappropriate, and that he shouldn’t be speaking to women that way in this professional setting.”
#5
what he said wasn't really unprofessional. It was more how he handled it. Big back story. I was having pain in my pelvis for about a year and a half. Had every test you can imagine. I was referred to the doctor because he was a specialist and knew my family history. I waited a year and a half to see him. He did not review my file. Asked me a few basic questions. In total spent less than 15 minutes with me. Examined me, didn't order more tests. Looked me dead in the face and said: Oh, you're constipated. You just need to take a laxative. And left. Waited a year and a half for that. He did not take me seriously in any way, shape or form. Fast forward to another specialist. She happens to be female. She ordered some tests. I get diagnosed with endometriosis. I'm now on a wait list for surgery. So was the problem that he was a male doctor and it was a female problem, or that I was female and he didn't take me seriously, or that he just didn't care?
#6
"You aren't married, right? This miscarriage is probably a blessing in disguise, huh?"
#7
It was a nurse. I'm well, I'm sexually active. And I was like, OK, maybe I should get tested for STDs because that's what people who are sexually active do. So I went to a clinic that specializes in STDs and pregnancy, and the nurse looked at me completely disgusted and and said, you should practice abstinence. I'll be praying for you. Then she grabbed my hand and started praying. I never went there ever again.
The woman also said that she was surprised to see that so many women have experienced unprofessionalism from doctors. “I wasn’t expecting the TikTok to blow up, or to have so many responses. Something needs to change!”For anyone who’s wondering if a medical professional has crossed the line during an appointment, Krista says: “I think if a patient is uncomfortable in any way during an appointment, a line has been crossed.”
Moreover, “If someone comes forward saying they felt uncomfortable, the doctor should take accountability for the situation and apologize and try to learn from it,” she concluded.
#8
OK, so when I was 18, I went to the doctors to follow up on like a bunch of symptoms that I was having. And when I was there, much to my surprise and shock, I found out that I was pregnant. I hadn't considered as an option. And I was 18. So I was understandably shock. So I because I was in shock, I started crying in an attempt to console me. My doctor said to me, don't worry, you are still really early on in the pregnancy. And sometimes this early on, people have miscarriages. And for people like you, that may be a good thing. The fact that I'm a medical professional, I thought it was her place to wish a miscarriage upon me. Anyway, this year, my daughter is going to be 10 and her dad and I are still together.
#9
I stopped getting my periods at the age of 17. I went to my doctor who said it was because I was fat. I was told this multiple times by multiple doctors at the same hospital. Finally went somewhere else and was told its because I have PCOS. I'm 23 and finally got them back and now working on having my own family
#10
One time I went to go get my blood drawn. [The doctor] was looking at my arm and she ended up saying that she couldn't find a vein prominent enough in the normal spot to draw blood. So she started looking higher up on my arm and she's pressing around and I'm like, you know, that's really weird. I've never really had anyone go up on my arm this far to get blood. And she was like, well, it looks like you've had needles there before. She was like, yeah, you have little needle marks on your arm. I've never used a needle a day in my life. This woman was accusing me of using hard drugs
#11
I was having really bad stomach pains after I had had my daughter and I went to the doctor to find out what the pains were. They did ultrasounds and all of that stuff. I go back to get the results. The doctor comes in, she she tells me that she didn't see what was wrong. And then she goes, but you do have gallstones. So I proceed to ask what are gallstones, you know, all of that stuff. She tells me the best thing I can tell you is Google it.
#12
My doctor took off his mask and said "I already had Covid I can't give it to you"
#13
I went in for a horrible rash in an area. My doctor tried fighting me saying either I was cheating or my bf was since she said it was an STD.. Ends up I have shingles. I also had a doctor refusing to check out my son's who I brought in with hfm until I answered questions about my income and sex life. Safe to say I just walked out and that clinic closed
#14
When I was younger, I went to a checkup with my doctor and just had mentioned that I wish I was a little taller. And a literal pediatrician responded: Men don't date tall women.
#15
I went to the doctor at 17/18 so I could get updated on my vaccines. I need 4. I also got an std test because my narcissist boyfriend at the time had cheated on me. she came into the room with FIVE needles. I asked what the 5th one was. she said it was the DEPO shot! Mind you I was openly against birth control for myself and told her before. she said "I thought you'd be okay with it since you're active" I feel like if I didn't ask she would have given it to me.
#16
I have chronic back pain because of a broken disk. This old doctor told me it's because I'm too fat. I needed to lose weight
#17
I had a miscarriage and was told my only option was a DNC (which now with a new OB I know that I had more options). The OB [messed] up and didn't remove all that needed to be. I got very sick. The excuse was "well you did have a lot of tissue". The a week after she asked me when I was gonna try for another. 3 WEEKS AFTER I MISCARRIAGED
#18
Well it hasn't just been one dr, it's been multiple, plus other health care professionals. "It would be easier on everyone if you killed yourself". "If you don't take oral antibiotics we will not admit you for IV antibiotics and are happy for you to die at home", "you are pretty bad at sewer slide, cause if you were good it at you would of succeeded already". "we have given up, you are unhelpable" those are probably the worst that has been said. I have chronic mental health issues and have been in the hospital system since I was 12. These things they have currently been saying have literally broken me
#19
1. the doctor was about done, it was just a normal check up and he looks at me and he's like "your eyes are kinda droopy" and I was like "yeah I've been up since 6am" cuz of school. So then him and my step mother start talking about eye lifts!
2.another check up. So after they do the heart thing ig my heart rate was weird and he asked me (this is a different doctor btw) if I felt anxious and I said "yes" and he was like "no you dont" like you asked if that's how I felt and I said yes, and now you're telling me that's not right like what?
#20
I went to the hospital because I fainted when I was like in my eighth month of pregnancy. And the doctors told me that I needed to put more ranch or my salads because I had only gained 13 pounds during my pregnancy and they were making a big deal that I wasn't gaining more. So they're like, don't be afraid to put in your salads. My ob-gyn said my weight was perfect
What do you think ?
Ozacoter 3 years ago
I have endometriosis, adenomyosis and other issues. I had periods so painful all my youth that I used to pass out from the pain. My father is a doctor and always found it normal. At 19 I got tired and went to a doctor. He didnt examined me and told me that "I needed to relax", refusing to even send me to the gyn. I have heard it all. "You are just anxious" "you need to be patient" (illneses dont dissapear by being patient) and my favourite "just a paracetqmol should be enough" (my pain gets so high that 200mg of tramadol dont help). It took me 11 years, 5 GPs and 4 gynecologists to even get a diagnosis while having textbook symptoms of those diseases. Now they are so bad that I am disabled and wont ever be able to have a normal life.
Ozacoter 3 years ago (edited)
Then it took me another year to find a gynecologist that could do surgery. This man refused to give me a hysterectomy (best treatment for adenomyosis) "because you will regret not having kids". He pushed me to have a less effective treatment (endometrial ablation) and also refused to sterilise me when I asked (salpingectomy). He took me to surgery without telling me that pregnancy after that operation is super dangerous. With about 26% morbidity and x3 chances of ectopic pregnancy. He refused to sterilise me and actively endangered my life just to preserve a minimal ammount of fertility! My consent to the surgery was not valid. When I spoke to his boss he didnt even blinked or apologized and my GP was the same.
Load More Replies...
Lav Oravaf 3 years ago (edited)
I was 18 and quite overweight (depression and lots of school stress) went to a new gynecologist, who turned out to be the one who delivered me at birth. He looked at me and said "oh I didnt know I gave birth to whales". wow.. the grace, the professionalism. Unfortunately back then I was too weak to stand up for myself and tell him how pathetic he was, so I just took the hit and went home crying..
Miriam L 3 years ago
I just want to say - as a chronic patient who's met exceptional doctors, pathetic doctors and everyone in between, as well as socially knowing a heck-ton of doctors -- it's not always like this. It is very important that we do share the horror stories, the exceptions, the times where things do go wrong, so that future patients know that their doctors aren't infallible (and sometimes are just straight up unethical slimebags) and people feel comfortable speaking up and advocating for themselves. We can't sweep these stories under the rug if we want things to get better. But most doctors are good, kind people - not perfect but they'll do their best and they'll respect your wishes. Doctors as a whole are beginning to embrace the idea of informing their patients as much as possible, answering questions, offering options and generally giving as much autonomy to their patients as possible. Being a patient can feel powerless, but most doctors do their best
Ozacoter 3 years ago
I am glad that you had better experiences than me. I barely met one or two doctors in the last 12 years that showed any empathy for their patients.
Load More Replies... Ozacoter 3 years ago
I have endometriosis, adenomyosis and other issues. I had periods so painful all my youth that I used to pass out from the pain. My father is a doctor and always found it normal. At 19 I got tired and went to a doctor. He didnt examined me and told me that "I needed to relax", refusing to even send me to the gyn. I have heard it all. "You are just anxious" "you need to be patient" (illneses dont dissapear by being patient) and my favourite "just a paracetqmol should be enough" (my pain gets so high that 200mg of tramadol dont help). It took me 11 years, 5 GPs and 4 gynecologists to even get a diagnosis while having textbook symptoms of those diseases. Now they are so bad that I am disabled and wont ever be able to have a normal life.
Ozacoter 3 years ago (edited)
Then it took me another year to find a gynecologist that could do surgery. This man refused to give me a hysterectomy (best treatment for adenomyosis) "because you will regret not having kids". He pushed me to have a less effective treatment (endometrial ablation) and also refused to sterilise me when I asked (salpingectomy). He took me to surgery without telling me that pregnancy after that operation is super dangerous. With about 26% morbidity and x3 chances of ectopic pregnancy. He refused to sterilise me and actively endangered my life just to preserve a minimal ammount of fertility! My consent to the surgery was not valid. When I spoke to his boss he didnt even blinked or apologized and my GP was the same.
Load More Replies... Lav Oravaf 3 years ago (edited)
I was 18 and quite overweight (depression and lots of school stress) went to a new gynecologist, who turned out to be the one who delivered me at birth. He looked at me and said "oh I didnt know I gave birth to whales". wow.. the grace, the professionalism. Unfortunately back then I was too weak to stand up for myself and tell him how pathetic he was, so I just took the hit and went home crying..
Miriam L 3 years ago
I just want to say - as a chronic patient who's met exceptional doctors, pathetic doctors and everyone in between, as well as socially knowing a heck-ton of doctors -- it's not always like this. It is very important that we do share the horror stories, the exceptions, the times where things do go wrong, so that future patients know that their doctors aren't infallible (and sometimes are just straight up unethical slimebags) and people feel comfortable speaking up and advocating for themselves. We can't sweep these stories under the rug if we want things to get better. But most doctors are good, kind people - not perfect but they'll do their best and they'll respect your wishes. Doctors as a whole are beginning to embrace the idea of informing their patients as much as possible, answering questions, offering options and generally giving as much autonomy to their patients as possible. Being a patient can feel powerless, but most doctors do their best
Ozacoter 3 years ago
I am glad that you had better experiences than me. I barely met one or two doctors in the last 12 years that showed any empathy for their patients.
Load More Replies...
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