I had a drinking problem 6 years ago. I broke up with my gf because subconsciously I knew I was in a bad head space. Didn’t want to take her down with me. She came to grab her stuff from the house. We lived together. She said to me “Don’t become your father. You are better than him.” My father and mother are both alcoholics. Mother has been sober for 30+ years. Father has not and is awful while drinking.

Her saying this broke me. I quit drinking less than one week later. S**t f****d me up. Hurt me to my core. But I thank her daily for saying this to me. Not literally.But got my head straight. Might not be exactly what this post is asking for. This is my worse experience but at the same the best.

BeardedVirgin23 , Eeshan Garg / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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Ace

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Yeah, _telling_ someone that they're turning into their parent is never going to go down well, but here the suggestion was clearly a well-needed wake-up call.

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When I was about 20 one of my best friends came around and was upset that a guy had rejected her and said she wasn't attractive. She was crying and slightly drunk, as I hugged her she said "now I understand what it must feel like to be you".

nyerueutyuerytw4yne6 , Valeria Boltneva / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Aboredpanda

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Wow. Such ah.

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Every argument I have had with my sister's since I was a child has resulted in my mum saying "you know what they are like, just let them have their way" because apparently I can take it better. I've basically been told my entire life that my opinion is irrelevant because I am a man and don't cry about it and therefore it doesn't affect my feelings.

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Disgruntled Pelican

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My husband also grew up in a very "men are not allowed to have feelings unless they involve anger" sort of household and thankfully, we are breaking him of that mentality, but it's been hard.

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"You're too sensitive, it feels like I'm dating a girl."

My first ex told me this, and I thought it was a me problem. Turns out there are women who don't have a problem with sensitive guys (e.g. my wife).

TrumpetsGalore4 , Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Ellinor

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Wow, hurtful AND sexist...

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We can stay married, but as friends. I want to pursue the other man.

No, thank you. Here is a divorce for you.

Lucious_Lippy , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Blondie23

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my exhusband did this to me. He wanted to stay married and keep our lifestyle but wanted a girlfriend... like nope!

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For me, it was when she said "I'm only with you because you've got a big d**k and know how to use it. I never really gave a s**t about anything else."

In response to me opening up about a few emotional things and the experience of being roofied by an older (adult) woman when I was 14 at a middle school party.

IcariusFallen , Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Jenn Smith

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I'm sorry that happened..some people are mean. Regardless of age, status, race..some people just suck

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Using something you never told anyone else against you.

Personal_Term3858 , Timur Weber / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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RabidChild

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This. Devastating when it turns out someone you trusted wasn't trustworthy at all

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Once had someone tell me, after years of being the "rock" in the relationship, "You're just not that strong, are you?" It's like all those moments of supporting them suddenly meant nothing.

BlossomMonica , Tomé Louro / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Aboredpanda

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Wow. Callous. And says something about how little the other party thinks of them. Relationship ending sentence, really.

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“You are not the father”.

C1sko , MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Ace

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Time to go out and celebrate then.

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When you’re trying to communicate your wants and needs in a friendship/relationship and they basically say “this is who I am, I’m not going to accommodate for you”

By all means, prioritize yourself, but friendships are a two-way street, so you can’t expect to just mindlessly do what you want and expect everyone to adjust to what you’re doing.

erazedcitizen , Vitaly Gariev / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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Debby Keir

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Yes and no. There's a hard line somewhere, and relationships as well as friendships are not always for life.

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"But you're so nice, how come you're single" if i knew I wouldn't be single and rubbing salt into that wound isn't doing any favors.

MariusDarkblade , Cedric Fauntleroy / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Ace

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Yeah that's borderline friendzone stuff. like "if only I could find a guy like you, but not you, obviously".

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“He was just better in bed”.

Terrible_Departure90 , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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hardrad2009

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Or “he has bigger house and better car”

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“I wish I never had a child with you”


“I’m going to make sure you only get supervised visits to see your daughter”


“You’re so f*****g stupid, you f*****g ape”


Then the next day , acts like nothing happened and business as usual. Just because your close to having your period , doesn’t mean you get to base all your actions and words on the emotions your feeling .

Letting emotions run your life makes you weak and undesirable.


(This is brief, and a lot more things have been said. I literally have never said anything bad to her to make sure I don’t sink to that level).

TiddybraXton333 , Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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LaserBrain

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In the end, you're still responsible for the words that come out of your mouth. No one can control that except for you.

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Jacquie Carr

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We are also responsible for allowing it from a partner and doing nothing to change it

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ILoveMySon

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Hormones are crazy but they don't allow one a pass to act out like that. There are meds available. My cousin used to be cruel monthly until she FINALLY discussed it with her gynecologist.

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Dusty's mom

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I'm a woman and I know darn well MOST mood swings can be controlled these days (not all). Been there. Ya gotta do the meds, therapy, self discipline, or whatever works. Be upfront that you have hormonal issues but are proactively dealing with them. Assure others that if preventative measures fail, you'll sequester yourself. If they don't respect that, move on. You're doing the best things possible.

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Júlia Fortes

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"Letting emotions run your life makes you weak and undesirable."????

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LaserBrain

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Well. I think that you can either control your emotions, or let your emotions control you. Your choice.

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H R

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Documentation Documentation Documentation

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Madeleine Christiansen

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Idk, but what do you mean by the "just because you're on your period" part? I feel like there might be a tinge of sexism there, but idk. What does OP mean??

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Adira Bennett

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I never trust the account of a guy who says things like that he's "literally never said anything bad" to his partner. Mind you, I'm not justifying anything she has said to him, hormones or not. I just have to wonder if he's a reliable narrator. EVERYONE has said at least one hurtful thing to their partner. I can definitely imagine this guy saying something to his partner that she lets him know was very, very hurtful, but he doesn't count it as "bad" because HE doesn't think he's "sunk down to her level." Like... is she an equal in your eyes? Or are you looking down on her? Again, this doesn't mean SHE is a good partner or a kind person. I'm just pointing out some red flags here.

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Aboredpanda

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I hope you saw a lawyer about your rights immediately.

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Big Bear Buchko

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I've had several ex's that would go from a 4 crazy to an 8 the week of their period, but God forbid you connect those dots, because THAT would be sexist.

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Multa Nocte

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Big Bear, I have seen a number of your comments here on BP and in fact you ARE sexist. You have somewhere in the neighbourhood of a total of a stunning -244 points on Bored Panda. Obviously you make a negative impact on those around you. Quit blaming it on gender.

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Jacquie Carr

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Awww, BBBuchko here has several crazy exes. Guess who is the common denominator in these crazy relationships?

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Yellow dot

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All I read was "I've had several ex's".

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LaserBrain

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Yeah, but most people have.

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Yellow dot

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You've missed my point 😑

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BeesEelsAndPups

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Look buddy, you can absolutely connect the dots. And you can prepare accordingly. But going around telling people "you're crazy because of your hormones" is a d*ck move. I bet if you were in constant pain for a week, you'd be pretty miserable too. I got an idea. Once a month, take a mallet and smash yourself in the balls once every three hours for five days straight. I wonder how you'll be acting. Now here's an alternative idea. Rather than getting pissy, when you know her time is coming, why not start doing more to help out and reduce her stress. Then give her some extra kindness. Maybe a foot massage at the end of the day. I bet you'll find her to be a lot less grumpy. That lady is literally shedding the lining of her uterus. It doesn't feel good bro.

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LaserBrain

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That's a good point, a bit overstated but BEP is totally right. A little empathy goes along way. Just because she's "getting pissy" doesn't mean you have to as well. You're technically right too, but most people in that situation wouldn't like to have that pointed out.

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“your brother f***s better than you. but worse than your dad. but they’re both better than you. also we’re getting divorced because i’m having your best friends baby”.

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Nina

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I'd watch this movie.

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I lost most of my hair around 25 years old. It was tough for me and I started thinking about hair transplant but I was not sure at 100% if I wanted to proceed. I was playing squash with my ex-girlfriend when we started having the discussion during a break. With the sweat, my hair looked even thinner and closer to what I would actually look like completely bold.
She starting crying when she heard about my hesitation and told me to do it because “I disgusted her” like this.
It was tough, especially because you don’t have much control on boldness and it is a common issue for many young men.

Jujulechaud , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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JJ

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My husband started going bald while he was still a late teenager. He's been through a lot of bullying due to this and just started shaving his head when he started Army. I got to know him like this but felt deeply sorry that he's been through so much for something he couldn't influence. Anyhow, that man started growing a beard a few years ago and looks pretty damn bada*s this way. He doesn't mind about his baldness but his beard ... 😅

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You’re not enough for me; I’m moving on to better.

True_Career6642 , LARAM / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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Nina

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To be fair, men and women seem to think they are good enough when they're just not. Sometimes, it just needs to be said so they know that they are the problem. My ex wasn't good enough for me and I told him so. Then i met and married the man who was.

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I don't like the movie Crocodile Dundee II.

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Ace

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Brutal!

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You have been raising a child that's not yours. That's the biggest L a guy can't take and the biggest insult.

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Aboredpanda

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Even if it was true, the child is yours for having raised it like a parent from birth. No one can take that away from you. Disgusting thing to say. Contact a lawyer practicing family law immediately if a woman ever says this to you. Make sure you have solid legal advice before doing or saying anything to change your situation.

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“His jokes are funnier” might as well be saying you want a divorce.

SaviorAir , Borna Hržina / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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Multa Nocte

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Someone is overly tender if they actually believe that this is saying someone wants a divorce.

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I never loved you.

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InfamousBerry34

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It hurts to realise that an entire relationship was fake. It really hurts.

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“The only reason you didn’t get me pregnant when i stopped taking my birth control, is because you’re a lesser species.”

We werent even trying to have a baby in the first place…..?

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Aboredpanda

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... one: It can take up to six months before hormonal contraceptives stop having an effect on a womans body if she's been taking it for many years. Two: Could be something wrong with HER reproductive ability. Three: RUN.

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"Maybe your father was right to treat you like a dog, you do belong on a leash".

ItchyEducation , Jonathan Petersson / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Aboredpanda

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This sounds more like somthing an abuse person would say in general, than slmething a woman might say to a man. Vile.

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Your mom must be so disappointed in you.

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Nina

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Sometimes, this absolutely needs saying. It's harsh, but required.

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"Is it in yet?".

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Solidhog

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Reminds me of that joke, "It may be a small organ, but I did not realise I would be playing in a cathedral."

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To me the most hurtful thing was getting nothing at all I got broken up with and asked what I did that caused this and she replied “ I don’t know”. That sentence sat in my head for months. After 3 years I got I don’t know … I’d rather get told anything else than I don’t know.

ControlForward5360 , Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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Aboredpanda

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Well that sucks but isn't it better with honesty than some sort of lie? Sometimes a person just falls out of love, and there's really nothing more to it, hurtful as it is.

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When a women expects you to there thru her hardships and emotional well being and then when you open up just once or try to find some comfort. She makes it all about herself or starts having a dry spell on you.

anon , Alex Green / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Debby Keir

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That's one woman - not all.

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I was once told that I 'wasn't toxic enough' i don't think that really hurt me, but I still think about that sometimes.

captalnAw3s0m32 , Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Caramello

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Remember talking about relationships with coworkers and had one woman say, "I'm toxic when it comes to relationships." She went on to detail how if things are going "too well" in the relationship, she needs to stir up something. It was just bizarre that she wore the "toxic" label with pride.

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"It's not yours".

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While we were sitting at a table, chatting, my cousin's wife told me "I could've found someone like you, but you come with a lot of problems. I settled for him because I don't want the hassle"

She is bat s**t ugly and way below the level of my cousin's. Disgusting.

Edit: I didn't get hurt at all, my cousin propably did. I feel bad for him.

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HardBoiledBlonde

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They are both ugly.

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For me, it would be hearing, "I don't respect you anymore." Respect is a cornerstone of any relationship, and losing that can feel like losing everything.

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LaserBrain

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Lack of respect is usually shown through actions, not someone actually saying "I don't respect you anymore."

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