“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Here’s a rhyme we all grew up hearing and trying to embody. But as we realize, some words cut through like a knife and leave a lasting scar that may or may not heal through time and multiple therapy sessions.
It’s likely why this question recently made the rounds on Reddit: “What's the most hurtful thing someone has ever said to you?” People reopened deep wounds – some from decades ago – by sharing the harshest words they received from strangers, parents, siblings, and significant others.
These stories are sad and difficult to read—however, they also reflect resilience through mental struggles, which is admirable in itself.
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My dad once said he wished he was working late the night I was conceived.
I told him mom said he was.
I have a daughter with an extremely complicated illness. Almost lost her to it twice when she was almost 3 and again 6 months later. In-between, this was 15 years ago, I broke down and wept, being so worried about her and also how distant my wife had become from me as well. After I settled down my wife told me that me crying like that had made me less attractive.
My daughter is very stable now and I've been divorced for several years.
Strong men cry. Strong men show true emotions regardless of anyone who says "only weak men cry".
When I was about 7, one of the kids in my class was teasing me because “you have a fat mum”. I was so upset that someone could say something hurtful about the best person in my world. I convinced myself that they must just be jealous because getting cuddles from someone skinny must be difficult because of their pointy elbows, whereas cuddles from my mum where like cuddling an amazing powdery smelling cloud. They still are.
Love this. All words describing having overweight (it's a disease, you have it like heart disease, it does not define you) have such negative connotations, except for zaftig which means pleasantly plump. OP knew her mum's zaftig was a superpower!
Locked in the bathroom, naked.
"Just look at you! You're fat and ugly. Nobody will ever love you the way I do." - ex-husband
He was right, I married someone who does love me, just not the way he 'loved' me. Thank God.
When I was younger, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. My siblings and I shaved our heads to support her. This kid told me that “he hopes my mom dies” and that I looked like I was in the holocaust. She has been cancer free for 13 years, but f**k that kid.
Am I allowed to be a little sad my husband didn’t cut his long hair when I had to shave my head during chemo? I know he didn’t have to but I thought he would in support. I finished chemo in June and have some hair but I can’t help but be a little jealous of his long hair. 😔
I had struggled with infertility for years. At my dad's funeral my step sister said "I bet you feel bad that you never gave him any grandkids."
“It’s a boy or it’s abortion. I’m not raising a daughter.” I miscarried two days later.
I had a theatre teacher/“director” pull me aside after a show that I totally spaced a queue/line (it honestly was a super insignificant line, and the other actor improvised very well) and she straight up told me:
“Putting you in this show was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. You’re a disappointment”
She got fired 2 years later and went to jail for a couple of years for banging my best friend's cousin who was a 15-year-old student.
I wonder if putting me in a play with one line was the biggest mistake she’s ever made.
"All I ever asked for was a son. You’re useless."
This was my dad to me. I’m the youngest kid - all girls. I was his last chance at a boy, so I failed at life the moment I was born. He never forgave me for not being the son he always wanted. That being said, I never forgave him for being an awful person, so I guess we were even ROFL. He died almost 30 years ago. Ta ta, m**********r….
Given gender is dictated by the sperm, and he provided the sperm... I'd say this one is on him.
My mum once said to me "I love you, you're my daughter. But I don't like you. I would never seek you out as a friend." I was 21 and it was 40 years ago. I will never get over that, it hurt so much.
It's harsh but has some truth to it. I guess it followed something that happened between the two that didn't make the mother really happy. And I hope the daughter could distance herself from this at some point. We don't choose our relatives.
“I can’t love you anymore. I don’t want to go to hell, like you.” My mom, after I came out. My dad agreed. Nothings ever been the same since.
Every day is a struggle to stay alive.
What trauma religion can cause... She sounds deathly afraid. Religion should be freeing, not caging people in traumatizing behaviours.
My first kid has Down Syndrome. Some lady at work asked me when I was pregnant for number two if I would do prenatal testing this time around so I could get rid of it if it turns out like the first one. Exact words. Geez, I hated her.
A teacher told me that with my poor handwriting, I should be working for a trash or waste disposal company.
I took that comment and ended up receiving consistent tutoring for my penmanship and reading comprehension, and I’m now an English/Language Arts teacher.
To this day, they do not realize how hurtful what they said to me was or how it impacted my whole life. "It was just luck." When I fixed a stereo system my dad was trying to fix. It wasn't luck...but from that point on I felt so stupid. I quit school in the 6th grade and was self taught on everything so that made it worse.
I went to college and got an Associate's. Now, 15 years later, I'm returning to college at 35 to get an (unrelated) bachelor's degree. I start in September. I am not stupid and it's not just luck...
Luck is only 1%. The rest is what you make of the situation and how it shapes you.
My fiancé of 36 hours passed away on June 21st of 2009. She suffered a pulmonary embolism from her birth control Yaz
She didn’t die well… she was scared and panicked and all I could do was help, hold hand, call 911 and start CPR. In between seizing she said “oh god please don’t let me die.” I said you aren’t dying, just be cool and I hear ambulance. She passed 1 hour and 48 minutes later
She was very kind and that wasn’t meant to be hurtful at all. That comment caused me much hurt and anguish over last 14 years.
I love you Lindsay. I know I will see you again but have more life to live first.
I was in a car accident in 2014, my ex said to me “I just wish you died, it would be so much easier”.
"No wonder your birth parents didn't want you" - my foster mother.
Your foster mother needs to be reported. And a good smack upside the head with a cast iron frypan.
I had someone at work tell me that having breast cancer wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world because I would get a free b**b job. This was about two weeks before I had an excisional biopsy to find out if I did have breast cancer. F**k you, Nicole!
So many people said this when I found out I had breast cancer. Another stupid thing they said was “ you have the good cancer” WTF?!?
My mom told me this when I was 14, and it led to my first s*icide attempt: "you are a disappointment to me, and everyone who knows you. I should've just given you up for adoption.".
"You're a stupid diaper wearing cripple and the world would be better off without you." - my middle school bully.
For context I have spina bifida and suffer from total incontinence due the nerves not working right.
*You're still here? That fetus died hours ago.*.
From the doctor that delivered my daughter then deliberately k*lled her because "too much paperwork involved to send her to Loma Linda. I'm a busy man. You're young. Have another baby." He had shuttled me off to a closet-size storage area with a bed. Forgot about me for 12 hours.
On 50th anniversary of her murder, my ex-daughter in law sent me a text that said *"I hope you suffer."* My son and I celebrate that "ex" prefix at every opportunity.
When I was young, my mom said holidays are better without me.
The night before my wedding my mother drunkly told me ‘what a horrible, selfish daughter I was. That my wedding was a f*****g circus (it was tented with cafe lights) and she can’t believe what an awful selfish person I am.” Because I had my wedding in the state I had lived in for 6 years and none of her friends/family decided to travel to it. Oh and she decided she would throw her own reception the next week (the reason no one decided to come to the actual wedding) which forced me to forgo a honeymoon and instead travel to my hometown to attend her second reception.
Followed closely for when I tried to hang myself at 11 in my closet and the rack and shelf fell instead and she told me “you are too fat to hang yourself.”.
With a mother like that, it's quite the mystery that she tried to off herself as a kid.
"You'll never be loved or cherished because you look like me. You will never belong anywhere, no one cares about you enough to actually be there for you. You will be a burden to everyone else." - From Dad to 11 year old me after we argued about how he missed my birthday(again).
But looking back, I laugh because.... it seemed like he was projecting his own insecurities onto me.
My stepmom wrote me a letter when I was in my mid 20s, had 2 kids and happily married saying I had the morals of a alley cat, I was an unfit parent and my husband should divorce me. I was literally Cinderella starting from age 5. She even locked me in a cage.
She is just someone you don't need to care about. NC and I hope your father divorced her.
"I cheated on you, and the only reason I'm telling you is because I'm pregnant."
'People like you are a statistic. Once you fail once you'll keep on failing': head of school when I had to repeat a year in undergrad, consequence of being naive and finding myself in a s****y abusive relationship.
I refused to shake hands with him after my final performance and told him that no, I wouldn't go to graduation because I'd have to shake his hand, when he asked if I was attending. Also quite enjoyed sending copies of my 3 following degree certificates, and signing the letter Dr ... . Prick.
A beautiful tale of revenge. Well done on continuing your education and keeping your head high.
Ι was in love with a girl in uni. We had casual s*x for some years but she wouldn't commit to me because she said she wasn't into me. After I confessed my feelings she told me she sees me as her old car. Still doing the job but not what she really needs. It's a matter of time before she throws it away but as long as it's convenient it's still around. Broke my heart in a million pieces.
My “friend” to me not long after a childhood friend died (like days after):
“You’re like a black hole and spread depression everywhere you go”.
Took my math book up to the teacher's desk with a question. I wasn’t grasping it. He slams my book on his desk and asked me if I was stupid or what.
Small town school about 30 years ago. If I ever run into that prick I have a few things to show and tell him.
i can so relate to this my 8th grade math teacher told me and i quote " i hope to God you marry rich cause you are too stupid to do anything else" i hated that man
My husband just tonight told me he doesn’t love me and Im a f*****g idiot. Its not the first time and likely wont be the last.
Leave him!!! Why TF are you still married to an a$$hole like this?
"You don't know trauma. You're making it up." Mom mocked me, because I thought I had PTSD from childhood trauma. Turns out, I was right.
Kind of like my mom reading a note from my doctor when I came home from college, asking her not to smoke in the house because I had asthma. She tossed it on the counter with a bunch of other papers and said "YOU don't have asthma." while lighting up a cigarette right next to me... Had conversations with me standing outside a screen door while she was inside smoking in the kitchen. 🤦🏼♀️ My assumption is it was denial that her primary joy in life was making me sick and she didn't want to feel like a bad mother. Cigarettes were always the priority... Even now that her own health is failing 😕. Single mom who did her best, addiction is just a very powerful force.
When I was 10 my mom told me I was the reason my dad was dying of cancer… he died a few months after that. I am 31 now and suffer from death anxiety.. always thinking the ppl I love will die everyday. It's hard.
My mom denying her abuse towards me even almost a decade later has f****d me up more than I thought. She's way better nowadays, but she's still a narcissist.
We really need psychological tests before we allow people to have children. Yes, blabla, slippery slope yaddayadda. So some adults wouldn't get what they want, boohoo - it would prevent chidlren from enduring all this. I just want to hug all of them, and be Mom to half of the OPs, just so they can feel properly loved, as they deserve.
You're right that it's a slippery slope. How long would it be before the person or people making the decision on who could or could not have children made the decisions based on something other than this psychological test, like ethnicity, or physical appearance? Or if the test was rigged in the beginning to control who could or could not have children by other criteria?
Load More Replies...I've said this on BP before, I just don't understand parents who are mean to their kids. Whether you planned that child or not, they are your blood. I couldn't ever imagine saying anything as horrific as these things to my daughter. JHC
The worst thing that was ever said to me wasn't bad because of the words, but the delivery. I had just revealed to my parents that I was having suicidal ideation. My mom sighed heavily, rolled her eyes, and said in the voice of a martyr, "Do you need to talk to somebody?" If I had tried to confront her about her tone, she would have gaslighted me and said she didn't say it like that, and that the words of her response made her a caring mother. ...My dad said nothing at all.
Just to throw it out there, if any of y'all want to disown your parents, I'll be happy to informally adopt y'all. Sometimes your "found family" is healthier and better than the one you're born into. 💗🤗☺️
If it was possible I’d ban the word “ugly”. It is one of the foulest words in the dictionary.
"I don't want to stand next to the dog!" -- My 5th grade bully when the teacher asked him to stand next to me. F**k you, Cedric. I hope you have a daughter who is just like me.
Why would you wish a child who's a good person (like you) on an asshat like Cedric? Wish one like him on him.
Load More Replies...I was friends with this guy for years, supported him with a sympathetic ear whenever he talked about his depression and how hard his relationship with his parents was and how he kept losing jobs and friends who kept inexplicably turning on him, etc etc. (which he did all the goddamn time). Then one day, right out of the blue, he tells me "you're not exactly a nice person". I was absolutely devastated. I reached out to someone who immediately advised me to ditch him. I took their advice, not even bothering to get the stuff I'd loaned him back, and only later realised that he was being an a*****e to me because I had repeatedly refused to sleep with him.
These stories are the main reason I don't want children! My mother is a raging lunatic and there are plenty of mental illnesses on her side; I have BPD and my brother has Bipolar 1, GAD and something else I forget the name of. Both of us are the result from her genes and choice in men (we are half siblings). I don't trust myself that I won't be like her. I don't hate myself and I don't hate life but in a way, I have resentment that she actually decided that it was a good idea to have another child (me) after my brother was born. Not sure latter makes any sense.
Take your pick. The time my father told me, after seeing a report card that had 3 C's on it, "Get out of my sight, I don't even want to look at you, you make me sick." My first girlfriend, who told me she was cheating on me, and how much better the other guy was than me. Or my second girlfriend who admitted she was deliberately trying to hurt me enough that I'd commit suicide.
For the life of me, I will NEVER understand why parents treat their children like this and say things like this to them...and I grew up with one. Didn't like it much when I sat down with pen in hand and wrote out all the 'stuff' I had to deal with from them as I grew up. Funny how they hate being called out on their sh!t, huh? I was the dutiful daughter when death was at their doorstep, but there's not a lot I miss. And for some reason I feel guilty about that, even though I know I shouldn't.
I don’t remember any specific sentences… There probably are some that I chose to forget. I was bullied throughout middle school (American living in country “A”). There was no reason for it, but fear of foreigners is baked into the culture there. I was always outcast for no reason. I became good at everything, and I mean everything. I did everything I could to be accepted. But I there was one thing I couldnt be best at, with that being sports/physical activity. That was weaponized against me for years. Then later, I was diagnosed with asthma, and I was like thank god it’s not my fault. Turns out it didn’t mean anything. A few months later at gym we were running laps, and the teacher asked the group of bullies to count to make sure I did enough. Everyone knew I had asthma, and everyone knew how those people treated me. So I do it, and they say I didnt do enough. The gym teacher, yells at me and makes me do the whole thing again. I was dizzy and everything was blurry at the end (part 1)
And it took me at least 15 minutes to catch my breath. This is just one of many similar stories. I was bullied for every flaw I showed. We had to leave the country which is a whole other pile of trauma that I wont get into. I attempted suicide 3 times. Each time more drastic then the last. I should have died but I didnt. Today I now live in country “B” and I am looking back at all this. I am now conventionally attractive, especially for my age, good at almost everything (yay?) and have pushed myself to overcome my asthma. But unfortunately I do not feel better. I just (re)started high school (long story) and am in an amazing class. But, every day when I look in the mirror I only see my flaws. Whenever I make the smallest mess up, I beat myself up relentlessly. I overthink every situation until it is at it’s worst. I ignore all of my strengths because I tell myself everyone sees me as stupid, because I don’t speak language “B” fluently yet. I have lived here for 3 months and (part 2)
Load More Replies...It's taken me years to reverse the little voice in my head from the emotional abuse from my mother. She was physically abusive as well but the emotional abuse has taken me YEARS to deal with.
I was six years old, had recently lost all my hair to alopecia, wouldn't be diagnosed as dyslexic for another three years, and yet according to my teacher I was "stupid and lazy".
For reasons I don't know my violin teacher had a strong dislike for me. I mean - I was literally a kid (I started when I was eight) and only saw her twice a week, to this day I have no idea what her problem with me was. After several years of her being rude to me, I finally asked my parents if I could quit violin lessons and they agreed. After my very last lesson with that teacher her final words to me were "You know, you quitting was probably for the best because even after all these years of lessons I still can't tell if you have any talent at all." I WAS THIRTEEN. I hope you rot in hell lady.
My husband of 42 yrs who took all my expensive jewelry (don't know where it is), then tells me I'm a greedy f×××ing b***h (still with)
I got 2. My mom would drink and continously tell me how she wishes she would've had an abortion, or that I should kill myself. The other was a great friend that after my girlfriend of 14 years passed away from a pulmonary embolism told me I should quit being depressed and just get over it.
According to my incubator it was my fault my parents divorced (I was in my mid 20s and had been out of the house since she kicked me out at age 18). The last conversation we had I told her I was going NC, and she assured me that without her I would end up on the street, homeless and a bag lady. I was early 30s, happily married with kids and a healthy income. She projected a lot. It's been 18 years since we spoke and I've never regretted the decision.
These things are just awful things to say to people i could never tell a child any of these things that these people heard as children. When my kids were younger and people started to bully them I always told them . people are mean to others because they are insecure and have things goin on with their lives that have nothing to do with them . So when people started to harras them I told them to reply. " Im sorry that your life is so bad that you have to make fun of me." This has shut many people down and my children werent really bullied after that comment . it sounds harsh but there is alot of truth to it.
When my son was a newborn, we were struggling financially and I asked my parents to borrow some money. My mom told me I should divorce my husband so I can get on welfare. I was speechless. I doubt my mom remembers saying that to me but I will never forget it. My son is now 14 years old, my husband and I are about to celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary, and we each make six figures...so joke's on them.
Not hurtful, because there'd be nothing wrong if she were correct, but my mom asked me if I was a lesbian because I'd never had a boyfriend. I was in my late 20s. Turns out I'm asexual...so she was closer than she realized.
We really need psychological tests before we allow people to have children. Yes, blabla, slippery slope yaddayadda. So some adults wouldn't get what they want, boohoo - it would prevent chidlren from enduring all this. I just want to hug all of them, and be Mom to half of the OPs, just so they can feel properly loved, as they deserve.
You're right that it's a slippery slope. How long would it be before the person or people making the decision on who could or could not have children made the decisions based on something other than this psychological test, like ethnicity, or physical appearance? Or if the test was rigged in the beginning to control who could or could not have children by other criteria?
Load More Replies...I've said this on BP before, I just don't understand parents who are mean to their kids. Whether you planned that child or not, they are your blood. I couldn't ever imagine saying anything as horrific as these things to my daughter. JHC
The worst thing that was ever said to me wasn't bad because of the words, but the delivery. I had just revealed to my parents that I was having suicidal ideation. My mom sighed heavily, rolled her eyes, and said in the voice of a martyr, "Do you need to talk to somebody?" If I had tried to confront her about her tone, she would have gaslighted me and said she didn't say it like that, and that the words of her response made her a caring mother. ...My dad said nothing at all.
Just to throw it out there, if any of y'all want to disown your parents, I'll be happy to informally adopt y'all. Sometimes your "found family" is healthier and better than the one you're born into. 💗🤗☺️
If it was possible I’d ban the word “ugly”. It is one of the foulest words in the dictionary.
"I don't want to stand next to the dog!" -- My 5th grade bully when the teacher asked him to stand next to me. F**k you, Cedric. I hope you have a daughter who is just like me.
Why would you wish a child who's a good person (like you) on an asshat like Cedric? Wish one like him on him.
Load More Replies...I was friends with this guy for years, supported him with a sympathetic ear whenever he talked about his depression and how hard his relationship with his parents was and how he kept losing jobs and friends who kept inexplicably turning on him, etc etc. (which he did all the goddamn time). Then one day, right out of the blue, he tells me "you're not exactly a nice person". I was absolutely devastated. I reached out to someone who immediately advised me to ditch him. I took their advice, not even bothering to get the stuff I'd loaned him back, and only later realised that he was being an a*****e to me because I had repeatedly refused to sleep with him.
These stories are the main reason I don't want children! My mother is a raging lunatic and there are plenty of mental illnesses on her side; I have BPD and my brother has Bipolar 1, GAD and something else I forget the name of. Both of us are the result from her genes and choice in men (we are half siblings). I don't trust myself that I won't be like her. I don't hate myself and I don't hate life but in a way, I have resentment that she actually decided that it was a good idea to have another child (me) after my brother was born. Not sure latter makes any sense.
Take your pick. The time my father told me, after seeing a report card that had 3 C's on it, "Get out of my sight, I don't even want to look at you, you make me sick." My first girlfriend, who told me she was cheating on me, and how much better the other guy was than me. Or my second girlfriend who admitted she was deliberately trying to hurt me enough that I'd commit suicide.
For the life of me, I will NEVER understand why parents treat their children like this and say things like this to them...and I grew up with one. Didn't like it much when I sat down with pen in hand and wrote out all the 'stuff' I had to deal with from them as I grew up. Funny how they hate being called out on their sh!t, huh? I was the dutiful daughter when death was at their doorstep, but there's not a lot I miss. And for some reason I feel guilty about that, even though I know I shouldn't.
I don’t remember any specific sentences… There probably are some that I chose to forget. I was bullied throughout middle school (American living in country “A”). There was no reason for it, but fear of foreigners is baked into the culture there. I was always outcast for no reason. I became good at everything, and I mean everything. I did everything I could to be accepted. But I there was one thing I couldnt be best at, with that being sports/physical activity. That was weaponized against me for years. Then later, I was diagnosed with asthma, and I was like thank god it’s not my fault. Turns out it didn’t mean anything. A few months later at gym we were running laps, and the teacher asked the group of bullies to count to make sure I did enough. Everyone knew I had asthma, and everyone knew how those people treated me. So I do it, and they say I didnt do enough. The gym teacher, yells at me and makes me do the whole thing again. I was dizzy and everything was blurry at the end (part 1)
And it took me at least 15 minutes to catch my breath. This is just one of many similar stories. I was bullied for every flaw I showed. We had to leave the country which is a whole other pile of trauma that I wont get into. I attempted suicide 3 times. Each time more drastic then the last. I should have died but I didnt. Today I now live in country “B” and I am looking back at all this. I am now conventionally attractive, especially for my age, good at almost everything (yay?) and have pushed myself to overcome my asthma. But unfortunately I do not feel better. I just (re)started high school (long story) and am in an amazing class. But, every day when I look in the mirror I only see my flaws. Whenever I make the smallest mess up, I beat myself up relentlessly. I overthink every situation until it is at it’s worst. I ignore all of my strengths because I tell myself everyone sees me as stupid, because I don’t speak language “B” fluently yet. I have lived here for 3 months and (part 2)
Load More Replies...It's taken me years to reverse the little voice in my head from the emotional abuse from my mother. She was physically abusive as well but the emotional abuse has taken me YEARS to deal with.
I was six years old, had recently lost all my hair to alopecia, wouldn't be diagnosed as dyslexic for another three years, and yet according to my teacher I was "stupid and lazy".
For reasons I don't know my violin teacher had a strong dislike for me. I mean - I was literally a kid (I started when I was eight) and only saw her twice a week, to this day I have no idea what her problem with me was. After several years of her being rude to me, I finally asked my parents if I could quit violin lessons and they agreed. After my very last lesson with that teacher her final words to me were "You know, you quitting was probably for the best because even after all these years of lessons I still can't tell if you have any talent at all." I WAS THIRTEEN. I hope you rot in hell lady.
My husband of 42 yrs who took all my expensive jewelry (don't know where it is), then tells me I'm a greedy f×××ing b***h (still with)
I got 2. My mom would drink and continously tell me how she wishes she would've had an abortion, or that I should kill myself. The other was a great friend that after my girlfriend of 14 years passed away from a pulmonary embolism told me I should quit being depressed and just get over it.
According to my incubator it was my fault my parents divorced (I was in my mid 20s and had been out of the house since she kicked me out at age 18). The last conversation we had I told her I was going NC, and she assured me that without her I would end up on the street, homeless and a bag lady. I was early 30s, happily married with kids and a healthy income. She projected a lot. It's been 18 years since we spoke and I've never regretted the decision.
These things are just awful things to say to people i could never tell a child any of these things that these people heard as children. When my kids were younger and people started to bully them I always told them . people are mean to others because they are insecure and have things goin on with their lives that have nothing to do with them . So when people started to harras them I told them to reply. " Im sorry that your life is so bad that you have to make fun of me." This has shut many people down and my children werent really bullied after that comment . it sounds harsh but there is alot of truth to it.
When my son was a newborn, we were struggling financially and I asked my parents to borrow some money. My mom told me I should divorce my husband so I can get on welfare. I was speechless. I doubt my mom remembers saying that to me but I will never forget it. My son is now 14 years old, my husband and I are about to celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary, and we each make six figures...so joke's on them.
Not hurtful, because there'd be nothing wrong if she were correct, but my mom asked me if I was a lesbian because I'd never had a boyfriend. I was in my late 20s. Turns out I'm asexual...so she was closer than she realized.