My dad once said he wished he was working late the night I was conceived.

I told him mom said he was.

NotAnAIOrAmI , cottonbro studio /pexels Report

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Yayheterogeneity

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Ha!

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I have a daughter with an extremely complicated illness. Almost lost her to it twice when she was almost 3 and again 6 months later. In-between, this was 15 years ago, I broke down and wept, being so worried about her and also how distant my wife had become from me as well. After I settled down my wife told me that me crying like that had made me less attractive.

My daughter is very stable now and I've been divorced for several years.

MaximusVulcanus , RDNE Stock project /pexels Report

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Spencer's slave no longer

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Strong men cry. Strong men show true emotions regardless of anyone who says "only weak men cry".

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When I was about 7, one of the kids in my class was teasing me because “you have a fat mum”. I was so upset that someone could say something hurtful about the best person in my world. I convinced myself that they must just be jealous because getting cuddles from someone skinny must be difficult because of their pointy elbows, whereas cuddles from my mum where like cuddling an amazing powdery smelling cloud. They still are.

Incywincyspoder , Keira Burton b/pexels Report

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Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein

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Love this. All words describing having overweight (it's a disease, you have it like heart disease, it does not define you) have such negative connotations, except for zaftig which means pleasantly plump. OP knew her mum's zaftig was a superpower!

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csaclint

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As a very overweight person(6' tall, 315lbs), it is not(with very rare exceptions) a disease. It is an expected consequence of poor choices.

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Tiger

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Yes, actually, it is considered a disease. Go to Google. Type in “is obesity a disease?” The answers you’ll get will sound like this: “Obesity is a chronic complex disease defined by excessive fat deposits that can impair health.” “The American Medical Association (AMA) recognizes obesity as a disease.” “Major medical organizations consider obesity a chronic disease.”

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Jason Kennith

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Yeah... uhhh... Google is woke, and therefore cannot be trusted. I have seen a lot of false information on there.

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Binky Melnik

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“Google is woke”? You seem not to understand what it is. It’s a search engine. It indexes everything on the net. People put stupid c**p on the net and it, too, is indexed and shown to you when you search. Google isn’t inherently left, right, or center, nor is it “woke” or “asleep”; it just shows you what everyone’s put on the net. And since the average person isn’t very smart, imagine aaallllll those idiots putting their invalid, nonsensical ideas out there, and Google indexing it all and showing the stupid 🐎💩 to other morons.

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Binky Melnik

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There are exceptions, like a normally-sized average man I know. He once put on 350 POUNDS in SIX MONTHS, all while eating and exercising precisely the same amount as he always had. It turned out to have been a VERY fast-growing benign brain tumor. Granted, this is an exception, an outlier, but my point is that people like him, who gain lots of weight very fast without doing anything differently, DO have diseases but unfortunately are treated just like people who seem to be eating themselves to death because people with none of the details assume they’ré lacking in self-control and/or are eating badly, and/or have no self-control. 🥺 It’s a shame because those people deserve pity, empathy, and HELP the way that, say, cancer patients do, but instead hafta hear insults, dreadful advice,and even “YOU’RE FAT” as if they have no clue. 😰

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Svenne O'Lotta

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4 weeks ago

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Drop the internalized fat phobia please. I promise you'll feel better.

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StrangeTrout

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3 weeks ago

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There is a big difference between being overweight and being obese. Shouldn't be so general on this issue.

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Roan The Demon Kitty

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4 weeks ago (edited)

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weight gain can be caused by some diseases, but in many cases, obesity is a result of poor life choices. Take the people that let themselves get to the state that you see in that programme with dr now... That just should never be possible. That said, there's obviously a huge difference between morbid obesity and being a little plump. (im a little plump myself, but nothing compared to how I was, i'd say I'm "average plump" if that makes sense. about a size 14-16 (in uk sizes) now compared to the 22-24 i was before )

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TheBlueBitterfly

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Poor life choices?? How about just poor with little to no access to healthy foods? Junk food is cheap and easy to make.

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Roan The Demon Kitty

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Yes, cheap ramen and tins of hotdogs, etc are cheap meals. But eating a regular amount won't make you obese. Healthy food can be more expensive, but cheap healthy food does exist if you shop around. In the UK, Aldi and Lidl have better prices on healthier options. But that show I mentioned, they don't just eat the cheap hotdogs and such in moderation. They overconsume. They also often, in shopping scenes, are filling their carts with unhealthy things like biscuits and cakes, which whilst nice, aren't exactly necessary on a daily basis - and they overconsume them too. And they often eat takeout pizzas, burgers, etc. Which is not cheap. Those are examples of poor choices, not just outright being poor. I'm not fatphobic exactly, I just think - it's called MORBID obesity for a reason. Glorifying someone who is dying because of bad choices isn't a good thing. (though in some cases, mental health can also be a factor of course, i totally get that, since that was my case)

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Steve Sharpe

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4 weeks ago (edited)

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@Roan The Demon Kitty I agree with everything you've said here. I get that some people have a "complex relationship" with food in one way or another and how /that/ could be described as a disease, but that's the exception rather than the rule and obesity is a symptom of that, not a disease in it's own right. We call gambling addiction a disease these days because of how it affects their brains, but no one says losing your family home is a disease when you you take the mortgage payment and put it on Three Legged Wonder to win the 2:45 at Cheltenham - that person needs help with impulse control, not a course of antibiotics. Same as we don't encourage smokers (something I'm guilty of) with campaigns about "healthy at 40 a day", no one's yelling about smoke-ceptance or smokephobia, or demanding ashtrays everywhere from the NICU to the petrol station forecourt - or becoming overnight multimillionaires by starting fashion ranges to show show off those big sexy lung tumours. With obesity it seems a large^^ part of society is encouraging a system where people get mollycoddled in to a very early grave.

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Roan The Demon Kitty

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so I think that being overweight can be caused by disease, but it's certainly not a disease in itself, in my mind. At least not the cases of morbid obesity. Idc if someone is fat, just not when they're a bedridden lump that drains society because they couldn't stop the mcdonalds. (PS why did the edit button not work i had to write three comments before i decided screw it ill condense it ... well i guess its 2 now gdi)

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Roan The Demon Kitty

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Roan The Demon Kitty

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Roan The Demon Kitty

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Jason Kennith

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4 weeks ago (edited)

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I completely agree and I'm going to follow you from now on. Edit: Never mind, your bio supports things that go strongly against my religion.

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Steve Sharpe

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@Jason Kennith That's because you're in a quasi-religious cult and think men should be in charge of women's bodies, women only have value by and should be graded by your opinion of their physical appearance, that ADHD is a lifestyle, personality type, and a never ending get out of jail free card for what you know very well is poor behaviour, you have an intense jealousy and envy against Europe, Europeans, even people who drive European cars even though you freely admit you've never left the country where you were born, you think climate change isn't real... And you've achieved all of this by the ripe old age of fourteen.

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cerinamroth

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I remember the lady who looked after us after school so well because, to me, she was the epitome of motherliness. (When I hear the song "Ladies of the Canyon" by Joni Mitchell, she's Annie.) I remember her singing and dancing while she hoovered, loving and moving her lovely round bum with the music as she went. My mum would water down all of our food to the point of it being inedible because she had an eating disorder (which I only realised much later in life). She taught us to hate our bodies and see them as failures, unlike Mrs B. On the down side, Mrs B had to pick me up from primary school once because I threw up and the first thing she said was "Do you fancy a biscuit? I'll make some!" - appreciated but not what my stomach needed at that point ;-)

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Liliauna Whitlock [STUDENT]

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4 weeks ago (edited)

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love my mom's hugs

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Philly Bob Squires

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I love cuddles from powdery, fluffy clouds. Can't have the powdery fluffy mom cloud anymore but the powdery fluffy wife cloud is doing just fine!

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Lululoohoo

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Come on people - let's not try to normalize & say being fat is not a choice. It absolutely is. Food choices & choosing not to exercise is a CHOICE. Can't afford the gym? no problem, go outside and walk, use youtube to find exercises that can be done without weights & without a membership to somewhere. A head of lettuce to make a salad with cucumbers, baby tomatoes, shredded carrots & whatever other prepped veggies can absolutely be done cheap. Promise you its cheaper than buying bags of chips.

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Locked in the bathroom, naked.

"Just look at you! You're fat and ugly. Nobody will ever love you the way I do." - ex-husband

He was right, I married someone who does love me, just not the way he 'loved' me. Thank God.

Bo-bop , cottonbro studio/pexels Report

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SheamusFanFrom1987

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Only one ugly person I see here, and it ain't OP.

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When I was younger, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. My siblings and I shaved our heads to support her. This kid told me that “he hopes my mom dies” and that I looked like I was in the holocaust. She has been cancer free for 13 years, but f**k that kid.

oprah-simpfrey , Tima Miroshnichenko/pexels Report

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Jennifer Smith

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Am I allowed to be a little sad my husband didn’t cut his long hair when I had to shave my head during chemo? I know he didn’t have to but I thought he would in support. I finished chemo in June and have some hair but I can’t help but be a little jealous of his long hair. 😔

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I had struggled with infertility for years. At my dad's funeral my step sister said "I bet you feel bad that you never gave him any grandkids."

MistressAlabaster , Photo By: Kaboompics.com/pexels Report

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Earonn -

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Apart from everything else: who TF still thinks that women are obliged to "give" anyone grandkids? WE. ARE. NO. BREEDING. MARES. FFS!

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“It’s a boy or it’s abortion. I’m not raising a daughter.” I miscarried two days later.

Less_Squirrel5750 , Timur Weber/pexels Report

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Yayheterogeneity

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I hope you kicked the a*****e out.

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I had a theatre teacher/“director” pull me aside after a show that I totally spaced a queue/line (it honestly was a super insignificant line, and the other actor improvised very well) and she straight up told me:

“Putting you in this show was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. You’re a disappointment”

She got fired 2 years later and went to jail for a couple of years for banging my best friend's cousin who was a 15-year-old student.

I wonder if putting me in a play with one line was the biggest mistake she’s ever made.

IBeatUpLiamNeeson , cottonbro studio /pexels Report

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The pigeon

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Lmao, that last line is perfect

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"All I ever asked for was a son. You’re useless."

This was my dad to me. I’m the youngest kid - all girls. I was his last chance at a boy, so I failed at life the moment I was born. He never forgave me for not being the son he always wanted. That being said, I never forgave him for being an awful person, so I guess we were even ROFL. He died almost 30 years ago. Ta ta, m**********r….

Ernigirl , Nicola Barts /pexels Report

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Fat Harry (Oi / You)

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Given gender is dictated by the sperm, and he provided the sperm... I'd say this one is on him.

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My mum once said to me "I love you, you're my daughter. But I don't like you. I would never seek you out as a friend." I was 21 and it was 40 years ago. I will never get over that, it hurt so much.

WeatherKat3262I , Polina Zimmerman/pexels Report

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It's harsh but has some truth to it. I guess it followed something that happened between the two that didn't make the mother really happy. And I hope the daughter could distance herself from this at some point. We don't choose our relatives.

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“I can’t love you anymore. I don’t want to go to hell, like you.” My mom, after I came out. My dad agreed. Nothings ever been the same since.

Every day is a struggle to stay alive.

Flimsy_Wait_8235 , Pavel Danilyuk /pexels Report

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What trauma religion can cause... She sounds deathly afraid. Religion should be freeing, not caging people in traumatizing behaviours.

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My first kid has Down Syndrome. Some lady at work asked me when I was pregnant for number two if I would do prenatal testing this time around so I could get rid of it if it turns out like the first one. Exact words. Geez, I hated her.

most-royal-chemist , Photo By: Kaboompics.com/pexels Report

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She is worth hating. I hate her, too.

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A teacher told me that with my poor handwriting, I should be working for a trash or waste disposal company.

I took that comment and ended up receiving consistent tutoring for my penmanship and reading comprehension, and I’m now an English/Language Arts teacher.

Ice9Vonneguy , Pavel Danilyuk/pexels Report

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ILoveMySon

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Success being the best revenge.

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To this day, they do not realize how hurtful what they said to me was or how it impacted my whole life. "It was just luck." When I fixed a stereo system my dad was trying to fix. It wasn't luck...but from that point on I felt so stupid. I quit school in the 6th grade and was self taught on everything so that made it worse.

I went to college and got an Associate's. Now, 15 years later, I'm returning to college at 35 to get an (unrelated) bachelor's degree. I start in September. I am not stupid and it's not just luck...

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SheamusFanFrom1987

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Luck is only 1%. The rest is what you make of the situation and how it shapes you.

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My fiancé of 36 hours passed away on June 21st of 2009. She suffered a pulmonary embolism from her birth control Yaz

She didn’t die well… she was scared and panicked and all I could do was help, hold hand, call 911 and start CPR. In between seizing she said “oh god please don’t let me die.” I said you aren’t dying, just be cool and I hear ambulance. She passed 1 hour and 48 minutes later

She was very kind and that wasn’t meant to be hurtful at all. That comment caused me much hurt and anguish over last 14 years.

I love you Lindsay. I know I will see you again but have more life to live first.

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bbgorilla

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I'm so sorry

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I was in a car accident in 2014, my ex said to me “I just wish you died, it would be so much easier”.

Alternative-Shape-59 , RDNE Stock project/pexels Report

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bbgorilla

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Glad he's an ex!

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"No wonder your birth parents didn't want you" - my foster mother.

Feeling-Produce-8520 , Jansel Ferma/pexels Report

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Sergy Yeltsen

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Your foster mother needs to be reported. And a good smack upside the head with a cast iron frypan.

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I had someone at work tell me that having breast cancer wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world because I would get a free b**b job. This was about two weeks before I had an excisional biopsy to find out if I did have breast cancer. F**k you, Nicole!

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Jennifer Smith

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So many people said this when I found out I had breast cancer. Another stupid thing they said was “ you have the good cancer” WTF?!?

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My mom told me this when I was 14, and it led to my first s*icide attempt: "you are a disappointment to me, and everyone who knows you. I should've just given you up for adoption.".

anon , Polina Zimmerman/pexels Report

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Earonn -

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Yes, monster, you should. Then OP could have had proper parents, not a c**t in a dress.

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"You're a stupid diaper wearing cripple and the world would be better off without you." - my middle school bully.


For context I have spina bifida and suffer from total incontinence due the nerves not working right.

scipio0421 , Mikhail Nilov/pexels Report

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Earonn -

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The bullies are one thing. They are the (emotional) cripples, if we want to use that word at all. But what always hurt me more was that teachers and parents allowed it to happen and gave me the feeling of bringing it upon myself.

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*You're still here? That fetus died hours ago.*.



From the doctor that delivered my daughter then deliberately k*lled her because "too much paperwork involved to send her to Loma Linda. I'm a busy man. You're young. Have another baby." He had shuttled me off to a closet-size storage area with a bed. Forgot about me for 12 hours.

On 50th anniversary of her murder, my ex-daughter in law sent me a text that said *"I hope you suffer."* My son and I celebrate that "ex" prefix at every opportunity.

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Earonn -

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The horrible thing is, from what I heard from older women, this doesn't surprise me at all. Motherhood was glorified, but pregnant women were treated like s**t.

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When I was young, my mom said holidays are better without me.

somewhereoutthere217 , Monstera Production/pexels Report

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Narcissistic b***h.

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The night before my wedding my mother drunkly told me ‘what a horrible, selfish daughter I was. That my wedding was a f*****g circus (it was tented with cafe lights) and she can’t believe what an awful selfish person I am.” Because I had my wedding in the state I had lived in for 6 years and none of her friends/family decided to travel to it. Oh and she decided she would throw her own reception the next week (the reason no one decided to come to the actual wedding) which forced me to forgo a honeymoon and instead travel to my hometown to attend her second reception.

Followed closely for when I tried to hang myself at 11 in my closet and the rack and shelf fell instead and she told me “you are too fat to hang yourself.”.

catinnameonly , cottonbro studio/pexels Report

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Beak Hookage

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With a mother like that, it's quite the mystery that she tried to off herself as a kid.

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"You'll never be loved or cherished because you look like me. You will never belong anywhere, no one cares about you enough to actually be there for you. You will be a burden to everyone else." - From Dad to 11 year old me after we argued about how he missed my birthday(again).


But looking back, I laugh because.... it seemed like he was projecting his own insecurities onto me.

anon , Kindel Media /pexels Report

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Yes, yes he did!

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My stepmom wrote me a letter when I was in my mid 20s, had 2 kids and happily married saying I had the morals of a alley cat, I was an unfit parent and my husband should divorce me. I was literally Cinderella starting from age 5. She even locked me in a cage.

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She is just someone you don't need to care about. NC and I hope your father divorced her.

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"I cheated on you, and the only reason I'm telling you is because I'm pregnant."

anon , Nataliya Vaitkevich/pexels Report

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The pigeon

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Bruh, the audacity

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'People like you are a statistic. Once you fail once you'll keep on failing': head of school when I had to repeat a year in undergrad, consequence of being naive and finding myself in a s****y abusive relationship.

I refused to shake hands with him after my final performance and told him that no, I wouldn't go to graduation because I'd have to shake his hand, when he asked if I was attending. Also quite enjoyed sending copies of my 3 following degree certificates, and signing the letter Dr ... . Prick.

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cerinamroth

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A beautiful tale of revenge. Well done on continuing your education and keeping your head high.

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Ι was in love with a girl in uni. We had casual s*x for some years but she wouldn't commit to me because she said she wasn't into me. After I confessed my feelings she told me she sees me as her old car. Still doing the job but not what she really needs. It's a matter of time before she throws it away but as long as it's convenient it's still around. Broke my heart in a million pieces.

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B***h.

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My “friend” to me not long after a childhood friend died (like days after):

“You’re like a black hole and spread depression everywhere you go”.

Parsley-Hefty7945 , Darina Belonogova/pexels Report

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Space Invader

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"With friends like you, who can blame me?"

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Took my math book up to the teacher's desk with a question. I wasn’t grasping it. He slams my book on his desk and asked me if I was stupid or what.

Small town school about 30 years ago. If I ever run into that prick I have a few things to show and tell him.

WiscoDJ920 , RDNE Stock project /pexels Report

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tracy black

tracy black

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4 weeks ago

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i can so relate to this my 8th grade math teacher told me and i quote " i hope to God you marry rich cause you are too stupid to do anything else" i hated that man

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My mom told me it was my fault after SA.

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Earonn -

Earonn -

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1 month ago

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Why women of all can't show solidarity to SA victims is beyond me.

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My husband just tonight told me he doesn’t love me and Im a f*****g idiot. Its not the first time and likely wont be the last.

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sarcastic cat

sarcastic cat

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1 month ago (edited)

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Leave him!!! Why TF are you still married to an a$$hole like this?

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"You don't know trauma. You're making it up." Mom mocked me, because I thought I had PTSD from childhood trauma. Turns out, I was right.

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The Shark

The Shark

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4 weeks ago

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Kind of like my mom reading a note from my doctor when I came home from college, asking her not to smoke in the house because I had asthma. She tossed it on the counter with a bunch of other papers and said "YOU don't have asthma." while lighting up a cigarette right next to me... Had conversations with me standing outside a screen door while she was inside smoking in the kitchen. 🤦🏼‍♀️ My assumption is it was denial that her primary joy in life was making me sick and she didn't want to feel like a bad mother. Cigarettes were always the priority... Even now that her own health is failing 😕. Single mom who did her best, addiction is just a very powerful force.

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When I was 10 my mom told me I was the reason my dad was dying of cancer… he died a few months after that. I am 31 now and suffer from death anxiety.. always thinking the ppl I love will die everyday. It's hard.

chaoticbutterflyyy , Kampus Production/pexels Report

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Enuya

Enuya

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1 month ago

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Unless the kid doused his father with radioactive water or somehing, how the hell could he cause a cancer?

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