"I'm glad we never had kids. I wouldn't want them to inherit your mental problems." - my ex-wife while I was in treatment for severe depression.

EDIT: For context. We were already breaking up after 13 years together. I'd always wanted to be a father because my own had passed away when i was very young from cancer. We spoke about having children for years.

I had been struggling with depression for a few years before I started treatment, but I was attacked randomly by 4 men on the street and run over by their getaway car which left me with acute PTSD and anxiety. During this time, my ex-wife cheated on me because I was no longer able to emotionally support her.

Her saying that was in the final days of our divorce. It was only meant to hurt me because she knew how badly I wanted a family. I'm glad to be rid of her.

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Beak Hookage

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1 month ago

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I hope this poor guy got the kids he longed for once he'd ditched that POS.

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"I'm not your mother and I don't want this (a piece of art I spent a month making just for her just for her to throw it back in my, then 8 year old, face) Now go away."

~My birth-giver the day I first met her.

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MaryHadaLittleLamb

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How sad, poor kid.

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“I don’t think you have ADHD, you aren’t hyperactive, I think you’re just lazy, unmotivated, and you don’t care.”

My ex when I brought up thinking I had it. Years later, guess what I was diagnosed with.

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CrazyKnitter

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ADHD is such a misinformed disorder, and those who don't have it don't understand, and even those who have it, but refuse to acknowledge it (my mother) treat it like being lazy or having too much energy is a choice. It's more like paralysis or drinking way too much caffeine than choosing to be either. And it absolutely can be both. I have the paralysis kind, where I stare at things that I want to do for HOURS before I can do anything, and my husband has the "can't stay still, must do something" kind.

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Apart from my mom calling me autistic, clumsy, and useless, the thing that hurt the most was when she’d call me “two-ton bessy” or “Hagrid’s daughter.” She encouraged me to take seconds and thirds of her cooking, but on the same note, coaxed me to starve myself and try other harmful tactics to lose weight. If I ate a snack that was bought for me, she’d tell me I was going to k*ll myself with food.

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Yayheterogeneity

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Narcissistic behavior.

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Not necessarily to me, but to my parents about me. I have a disability and several years ago a doctor tried to convince my parents that it would be best to put me in a group home and forget about me. Luckily my parents, with the counsel of my step-grandfather. decided to go against the doctor's advice.

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Orysha

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Doctors like that should be automatically banned.

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My dad has been dead for five years, the “damn your lucky” or “I wish my dad was dead too” is some of the most insensitive thing to ever say to a person right after they let you know their dad is dead.

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Lsai Aeon

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As someone who has said that, I'll tell you why. If someone is saying they wish a parent is dead, after you telling them your parent is dead, we suffered abuse at the hands of that parent and have no concept of love from that parent. There is no concept of belonging. All we know of this parent is abuse and hurt, we don't understand how you could love your mom or dad, it's a completely foreign concept.

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I had an old “friend” tell me that I could never be a teacher because I wasn’t charismatic enough. I’m now graduated with my credential and masters in education and been teaching for over 4 years. So she can kindly suck it.

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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad

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That last sentence says it all. :-D

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"I should have sold you to a slave camp." -my mom when I was about 7 years old.

I used to get sad remembering this but now it just fills me with immense anger.

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Earonn -

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Good. Anger is the correct emotion. OP shouldn't feel sad but see their mother as the poor excuse of even just human excrement that she was.

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From my boss from my previous job: "You're a headache to deal with, and I regret hiring you. I wouldn't surprise you don't give your girlfriend, friends, and family a headache"

I was hired with this guy fully knowing I had little experience with the position I was hired for. I didn't lie during the interview.

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After what I thought was a good relationship in my 30's with my dad, I was having trouble accommodating his wife's son's wedding and my lifelong friends wedding in the same week in two different states in the northeast (I'm on the west coast). I brought up the fact that I was having trouble and my dad tried to fight me (has never in my life been physical before), called me a narcissist, that I'm a piece of s**t since I was 17, and that I'm not to talk to him ever again and if he ever sees me again, he will kill me. I didn't even meet my "step-bro" until my 30's and spoke to him previously about my difficulty finding flights. Anyway, at the time of the fight I was still trying to find flights to accommodate both, but my dad telling me those things made up my mind for me. It's a shame, he's 71 and I probably will not talk to him ever again. I'm willing, but he is not. His white knight meter is out of calibration to say the least. So dumb...

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Susan

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If he wasn't like that before could it be possible he might be getting dementia?

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My father had dementia due to diabetic strokes. I went to visit him 6 days a week.

A co-worker said, "I don't know why you go so often...he's not going to remember you were there."

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Mark Stewart

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They might not remember specifics about you or that you visited the day before, but I do believe deep in their brain there is some glimmer of recognition that you're known to them and somebody they see regularly.

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My husband (now ex) called me "big and loose" when resuming intimacy after the birth of our child.

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Ann Mohrmann

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Glad you're now loose from him!

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"You are nice but damn, I have rarely seen someone as ugly as you".

For context, teenagers summer camp, I was 17. This guy was supposed to be someone I was getting along with quite well (the whole group but we were a few being always together).

I was seated chatting with the whole groupe and he came to say that randomly.

I wasn't even interacting with him. Like, he said my name so he could have my attention.

Its like he NEEDED to say it in front of everyone and he didn't feel like he was saying something wrong.

What was weird is that, he wasn't even laughing. Its not like someone or some people were trying to make fun of me.

It was so harsh that people were speechless. No one laughed. At all. I think they were as much confused as I was.

I appreciate no one jumped on that after those "wtf" 20 seconds, they all went like nothing happened.

I am 35 and still remember this. Knowing how teenagers can be cruel, I hate this had a huge impact on me but I remember people really tried to not make it a big deal. The group didn't fall into that s**t and they were between 15-17 years old.

I think someone even said to the guy "are you being serious right now??".

But I am not sure. I was really trying to swallow the humiliation.

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Yayheterogeneity

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I hate that someone can just say something that haunts you your whole life and they can just forget about it.

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I’m meant to be alone.

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Lorraine R

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Me too. Better than a sh!t relationship.

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Probably the first time my mom said “have a nice life.” Took about 10 more disownings before I said enough’s enough and cut ties. I’m still kind of bitter but have come to terms with it. She still doesn’t understand why I don’t wanna let her back in. Last I heard she disowned my sister (again) too.

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Mike F

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After the first one the OP would have done well to step back and see how it played out. "I'm really sorry that you feel that way but if you decide in the future that you would like a relationship, here's my (throwaway) email." From that point forward the ball is firmly in the OP's court and while the "mom" feels otherwise, the reality would slap her like a wet mop when she needs something from the OP.

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My dad one time told my mom over the phone while I could hear that he didn’t want a relationship with me anymore.

Well, we had a big argument and my mom called him while I was sitting on the couch listening and she had him on speaker because she wanted us to talk it through but before she could tell him that he was on speaker he said he didn’t want a relationship with me or the person I was becoming. My dad and I have had issues over the years because we butt heads and it’s gotten better since my parents got divorced but yeah. That’s the whole story.

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"Despite not being good-looking, you are so good at studies". I don't know whether I must feel hurtful or not.

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cerinamroth

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"Even though you're breathing, I can't decide if you're brain-dead or not"

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My mom telling me she'd be embarrassed to be seen in public with me if I got a buzz cut. She convinced all of my family to agree with the sentiment too.

I have intense sensory issues with my hair, it wasn't just an aesthetic choice. Way to make my life harder.

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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad

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I woulda said good and then gone and done it.

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"you're going to have to marry someone tall so they can get their arms around you" thanks mom.

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I had an ex tell me it was a good thing my parents were dead. That was the last day I ever saw her.

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My dad told me on my way to school that I was the responsible one for ruining his marriage. Y’all should know that I was clinically depressed by then. A shot would hurt less.

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Cori

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My mother said the exact same thing to me as she was shoving me out of a still moving vehicle. I had missed the bus because I was too depressed to get out of bed and she had to drive me to school.

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Dad to 12 year old me for forgetting to close a gate at the end of a 12 hour work day, "YOU ARE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF S**T".

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Lo Kindred

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Wait-12 yr old and 12 hour workday? What?

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Saw a FB post from my dad and step mom referring to their son as their favorite. My dad and I don’t have a relationship (my choosing after he was a a*s my whole childhood). It still hurt seeing that. Especially since he is pretty much father of the year to my stepsister and half brother.

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During a fight my mother called me an "unwanted bastard child" because I calmly asked her why she thought it was okay to scream at me in public. The whole neighbourhood probably heard.

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Ann Mohrmann

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And the whole neighborhood knows she's s**t.

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When I was married to my first wife met younger friends at work and started going out on the weekends and then one-day she left before I got home from work without saying where she was or when she was coming back........ I called about midnight to see if I can make sure she was alright and she answered screaming "what do you want from me!" I knew at that moment it was over.

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“You’d be really pretty if you weren’t fat” - random youtube comment left on a vid i made when i was 12. I was 5’6 and maybe 160lbs-170lbs.

I am now 26, 178lbs, and just happy I’m here and healthy.

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Beak Hookage

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I started thinking of myself as "fat" as young as SEVEN YEARS OLD. I have body image issues to this day. It's so disgusting that little girls are still being made to feel the same way 30+ years later.

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"You're too ugly for this industry" - when I tried to be a hairdresser.

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"You look like you've gained 30 pounds since you moved out." This was a month after said move. And it was only 5 pounds.

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Yayheterogeneity

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Feel good pounds!!

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Did poor at Physics once and the teacher said, “Such a tall boy, no wonder his brain is in his knees.”

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Beak Hookage

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What an odd thing to say.

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I can’t even remember some of the things said to me but probably my “dad” telling me “I don’t have to take care of you, you are not my child, not my responsibility, I gave you up, stop trying to get to know me” as he’s raising his other children with another woman and has never once gotten to know me.

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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad

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good riddance. No contact, and zero f's given.

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My dad called me worthless at one point and some other choice words. Then later on in life my mom said, "I love you, but I don't like you".


I adored my parents my whole life and those two bullets have never stopped hurting.

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Stephanie A Mutti

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I got the "i love you but don't like you always" a lot from my mother as well. It seemed so normal at the time I didn't realize it until I was unhappily married and my ex would say she liked me "some of the time". Hold up!!!! You don't like me???? Giving the caveat that "I love you" when you are sorta honor bound to love your child and/or spouse does NOT make this ok. You don't like me? Flake off.

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“I won’t be surprised if you shoot up the school”

I did absolutely nothing to prompt that remark. I’ve also gotten a lot of negative remarks from my mom and grandma but i’m used to them so it didn’t really affect me as much.

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Ranger Kanootsen says GOODBYE!

Ranger Kanootsen says GOODBYE!

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I was told this too!!

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Ok so I’ve actually never told anyone this but here goes.

When I was younger my parents were going through a very rough custody battle with me right in the middle of it. I lived with my mom and My dad was very emotionally and verbally abusive, he would literally interrogate me so he could have something to take my mom to court with. My mom fought like hell to keep me and I wanted to be with her my dad however thought otherwise. He would take her to court so many times (I’ve only ever been present once at these court sessions) but this one day ( I forget what exactly was going on ) but we were at home and my mom was venting and she said “I won’t deal with this again (talking about court) I’ll just pack your bags for you and you can go live with him.” I remember being very hurt but I didn’t show it. I felt like she didn’t care what she would be sending me too, that I wasn’t worth all the time she spent trying to keep me away from him. I questioned her love for me and if that love had faded, I remember it but we haven’t talked about it since, I don’t even know if I want to talk about it.

Edit: she never actually followed through with what she said.

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Jac Carr

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I'm so sorry she said that; she wasn't angry with you, you were just there when she was venting. If you think it would help you, bring it up with her. She fought so hard for you, there's no way she really meant those words

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As the love of my life was walking away, i said i love you.

she said - i know you do.

and she was gone.

30 years ago and she still pops up in my dreams a few times a year. love stinks. :).

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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad

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if she didn't turn around, it's best to let her go, and find someone who says it back. :)

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