"When my son was 3, he rubbed a whole stick of butter over the back of the cloth couch. I cleaned it, but it always had a large stain. 16 years later I sent it with him when he got his first apartment."

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"When I was a kid, my mother lost her diamond wedding ring. She was devastated. A decade later, while cleaning things up for a garage sale, we found it jammed in the toilet of my Barbie house."

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"When I was a kid I took a hammer and tried breaking open the television screen so I could be with Harry Potter. Didn't really work out as I had imagined."

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"My eye. When she was 6 months old, she was sitting on my lap and playing with some toys. She suddenly got really excited and flailed her arms up. Her fingernail dug deep into my eye. Three surgeries later, I still can barely see out of that eye, and it's visibly screwed up too (not egregiously, but if you look me in the eye my pupil is clearly more oval than a circle.)

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"My sister destroyed not one, but two blenders by leaving a spoon in them before turning them on. The explosions were impressive."

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"My dad, a realtor, once sold a house and a condo to a guy whose daughter had burned down their old house. The house was for the family, the condo was for the daughter. I asked my dad how it had happened and he said the guy just told him, 'She's always been like that.'"

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"I had decided that my mother's very expensive perfumes and moisturizers smelled really nice and that if I combined them they would probably smell even better. So I did. In the bathtub."

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"My brother ripped earrings out of both my mother's ears when he was a baby. He did one, then the other a few days later. I guess the cosmetic surgery to fix it was expensive and insurance didn't cover it. Don't wear big earrings when you're holding a baby, ladies."

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"When I was younger I cut all the flower heads that had blossomed in my grandmother's garden and gave them to her in a bucket. She started crying immediately."

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"20 years ago my friend's young son was making puzzles and he cut up his father's original Star Wars a New Hope 1977 poster. His father told me he had to shrug it off because his son didn't know any better. Best punishment served cold - the son is now a young Star Wars fan and he would do anything to own that poster he himself ruined."

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"The television. Apparently, running the scissors over the screen makes it look better."

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"We had a 90g saltwater tank with easily upwards of $3k worth of coral, and fish. I went to work a night shift and my son unplugged everything for the night my husband didn't notice. Everything was dead in the morning, and the house smelled lovely."

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"I’m not a parent, but my brother (11 at the time) once got my father’s credit card without him knowing, and spent 2k dollars in online games."

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"My daughter stood on our dinning room table and spun the chandelier until it came out of the ceiling."

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"I jumped on the roof of my mother's dodge neon like a trampoline cause I saw it on the Simpsons."

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"I threw my mom's engagement ring in the ocean when I was a toddler. Don't ask me why I was allowed to play with it."

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"My son, around 2 at the time used my phone as a spoon to eat ice cream. I had to use the speaker and yell into my phone for a week whenever I had a call. Eventually, it stopped wanting to charge. Melted ice cream does things to phones."

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"Apparently when I was 2 or 3 (around '92) I thought the VCR was hungry so I fed it my spaghetti."

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"My wife and her brother tore a giant hole behind the dresser because they were trying to find Narnia."

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"I ruined my mom's brand new Keurig by putting milk in the reservoir instead of water in an attempt to make better hot chocolate. Didn’t know it would curdle the milk and make the house smell like rotting feet."

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"My chemistry professor blew up half of his house and consequently the other half caught on fire when he was 8 or 9."

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"My daughter flushed my college ring down a toilet."

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"Permanent marker all over our brand new quartz countertop. Brand new..."

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"My brother filled the car with water. Twice."

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"My 4-year-old niece wrote her name all over the driver's side of our neighbor's car (Audi S6) with a rock."

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"My grandpa had a successful tomato farm. One day he wanted me to pick the tomatoes from a plant. Well, I picked every tomato on the farm. All of them. Were that tomato green and half an inch? Picked it. Spent a few hours and cleaned out the whole farm of ripe (probably only 5%) and developing tomatoes. Easily thousands of tomatoes."

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"When I was a kid I thought I'd be helpful and wash my mom's car. I used one of those scrubby sponges from the kitchen and scratched the sh*t out of every inch of that car."

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"When my son was about 7 he microwaved our camera. We had just bought a 1000$ video camera for the family to use, when he was home with his older sister he thought it would look cool to have a video of the inside of the microwave!"

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"When I was about 5, I had a fascination with magnets and I had quite a few of them and I played with them a lot. I had heard several times from my parents to not put the magnets on the TV and of course, my 5-year-old brain registered that as definitely put the magnets on the TV. So when they were out of the house I put one on the screen and it became discolored, I thought it was cool and dragged it across the TV some. I quickly found out that the color doesn't come back when you turn the TV on and off. Had to get a new TV and I got in quite a bit of trouble."

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"My siblings and I sat alone waiting for our parents in our brand new 1960 station wagon. We got bored, and pushed in the cigarette lighter, then took turns burning holes in the new vinyl upholstery. Little circles all over the seat."

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"My younger sister somehow managed to ruin all the plumbing in one of the bathrooms of our house."

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"My mother never ceases to tell somebody new the story of when she bought a brand new couch. I was sitting on it with a pair of scissors near me and decided to just cut a slit right down the center of one of the cushions. When asked why, my response was, 'well, I had to cut something.' She was so furious she walked away."

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"When I was about 12 I somehow managed to break my nans £1000 stairlift while riding it."

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"The stereo in our minivan quit working. After a little troubleshooting, we found 25 pennies shoved in the CD slot."

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"I was 13 and downloaded everything my small grubby child-teen hands could click on LimeWire. I'm sorry, mom."

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"My little cousin found a 400-year-old piece of art in the storage shed and ruined it by doodling on it."

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"Our brand new flat-screen TV. He was 2 and threw his toy truck at it. Never wanted to disown him more than in that moment."

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"Not quite ruining, but when my younger brother was 6, he somehow managed to accidentally buy a car while playing games on my mother's phone."

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"My Xbox one. They don't take more than 3 disks at a time. Stuff tends to start breaking once the fourth enters."

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"One night I turned on the bathtub and went back to sleep. Nobody in my family woke up until morning, and by that point the water was collapsing through the downstairs ceilings, coming out of the chandelier, and pooling in the basement. Thank God for homeowner's insurance."

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"This obviously didn't ruin my dog, but I covered my dog in vaseline from head to toe and said I was 'decorating him for Christmas.' My mom said it took DAYS to wash out the vaseline."

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"I was washing my van one day 3 years ago and my 2 year old decided to help wash the other side... with rocks. Scratched right down to the primer."

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"Not ruined exactly but when I was in my teens my boyfriend and I broke into his father's wine cellar and pinched what we thought was the rattiest-looking bottle of wine thinking he would never miss it, turned out to be an incredibly rare, old, expensive vintage that he had been saving since his grandfather gave it to him when he graduated, his grandfather got it from his father, so it had lots of sentimental value as well. I never got over that. We drank it from the bottle out in the woods, what a waste."

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"I had just come home from receiving my special order astigmatism contacts – a year supply, probably worth around $800. My 3 year old flushed them all down the toilet."

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"My brother and I got mad at each other and ended up throwing a shoe at him really hard. It missed him and hit our $2k grandfather clock, busting the glass."

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"Oldest child once fed lettuce to the DVD player. Not particularly expensive, but it was an amusing w*f."

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"My other son tried out my hammer on the hood of my car."

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"Years ago, my sister broke about $2000 of my father's fishing rods - gifts from a client and friend - over the course of about a week."

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"Carpet in the house. Thanks, slime."

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"Ah! Finally my moment of glory. You guys are all very cute with your 3k diamond rings and your CD players. I installed 30k worth of hardwood floors in my new house with a 1-year-old. Biggest regret of my life."

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"When my son was 5 I had just purchased a fancy new projection HDTV. I hooked everything up, went upstairs to grab my DVDs, and when I came back, my son etched, "DAD" in the middle of the screen with a fork. He was so proud."

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"My son turned on the sink in the basement to play with soap bubbles. He then went to bed and left it on. The sink had no overflow drain, it was quite old. He flooded the basement."

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"A diamond earring. Gifted by my mother on my wedding day. Diamonds swim in the big potty, guys!"

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"When I was 5 I filled up the fuel tank in my dirt bike with sand because I ran out of gas."

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"My daughter ruined my phone when she was about 2 months old. She threw up on me and it splattered hard enough to hit the phone just right while it was charging and it fried the charging port."

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"When I was a kid I thought I would pull a hilarious April fool's prank and hide all of our cups. I took the plastic cups and hid them in a small overhead chandelier covering the light bulbs. The next day I had forgotten about them, dad turned on the lights and the cups slowly melted all over destroying the chandelier."

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"My mom will never never let me live down the fact that I once took her phone and put it in the microwave when I was 2 or 3 years old."

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"My kid blew the motor on a Ford Contour. I guess he thought the temperature gauge was nothing to worry about."

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"Our neighbors bought brand new living room furniture. All white. Their 8-year-old got a ketchup packet from McDonald's. He opened it and placed it on the arm of the sofa, facing in. Then he brought his fist down as hard as he could."

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"My daughter broke my nose when she cocked her head back for a glorious laugh."

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"My husband let our 1-year-old play with his iPhone unattended, at which point it promptly ended up in the dog's water bowl."

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Amused panda

Amused panda

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1 year ago

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That was hubby's fault.

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crowspectre (he/they)

crowspectre (he/they)

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Yeah a lot of these aren't the kids, it's the parents not being responsible. Your kid doesn't understand how the world works, just tell them how to he careful with something or better yet wait until they're old enough to have common sense

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Imran Faizal

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1 year ago

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most of them sound like first time parents who themselves aren't sure what to do so just stop

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Bill Ferreira

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A coworker, an it professional, gave his 3 year old daughter his phone to play with while he was driving to work on the freeway. She promptly threw it out the window. He never could understand why we never gave him any important projects.

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LooneyLovegood

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That is well deserved- a one year old?!

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"My leather sofa. 'Don't paint your nails on the sofa.' Paints nails on the sofa, spills half bottle down the front."

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"My 18-month-old shoved my Surface off a table and it shattered on the floor. You know how cats like to knock things off tables just for the hell of it? Just like that. He looked so damn proud of himself, too."

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"When I was young, I was a curious fellow. Our family car had an automatic sunroof and my tiny little mind was curious if I could hold the cover of the sunroof and have the window open above it. I was wrong. The sunroof decided to never open again."

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"$400 Prada sunglasses. My fault for leaving them unguarded."

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"I jumped all over my parent's brand new car with muddy boots and completely caved in the roof. It was maybe 3 days old."

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"A good night's sleep."

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"My uncle told me a story about my cousin. Apparently, his son wanted to gas up the car for him. But he didn't understand that a garden hose isn't a gas pump. He filled my uncle's gas tank with water till it overflowed."

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"When I was about a year old, we were visiting my great-grandmother. I got a hold of a marker and decided that a little, framed, black-and-white photo needed some color apparently. Completely destroyed the one and only photo of my great grandmother's dead brother who passed away as a child."

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"When I was about 6, I tried to make my parents breakfast in bed and broke the espresso maker. It was a really nice Italian one that they received as a wedding gift and could never afford to replace."

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"When my sister was probably 2 years old, she knocked over & broke my dads 12 string Bass Guitar, he still doesn't let her live that down."

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"When I was a kid I tried to make grilled cheese on toast after school. So I turned the oven on and then completely forgot about it. Turns out, my mum used to hide her family heirloom jewelry in the oven because 'it was the last place anyone other than her would look'. I grilled the lot."

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"16 iPads."

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"I wanted to make some tea for my mother, so I went to turn on the electric kettle. Me, being the little retard I am, thought that meant to put that kettle on top of the fire, not on the base. Because, you know, kettle + fire = hot water, right?"

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