"I (14M at the time) was at my sister's hockey banquet. 300 girls (babes) in attendance. As the speaker approached the podium (Don Cherry for you hockey fans), I was leaning back on my chair. Indeed I leaned too far.

I began to fall back on the chair and grabbed the table cloth to hang on to. I ended up pulling the entire KFC food party banquet food onto my head and lap, gravy included. My elbows also hit the piano keys behind me, making a massive B flat note throughout the gymnasium. When Mr Cherry got to the microphone he said "thank you Maestro'. I died a little that day."

frick-you-fricker Report

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prguitarman said:
"The time I drank a whole bottle of ketchup and proceeded to throw it all up. Then my mom walked in and thought I was vomiting blood and screamed. I was maybe 3 years old but still remember that."

clockworkbox replied:
"Your poor Mom! I’m sure that was terrifying at the time, but hilarious in Heinz-sight."

prguitarman Report

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"Putting toilet paper in my butt like a horse tail, and running around the house naked with cups as hooves. I’m sure there is a picture, but I have no access to that."

Atarteri Report

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"In 5th grade I was in a school musical production where in one song I was the "boogie woogie reindeer", and during the song I was supposed to dance. Well, my mom had just showed me the movie Coyote Ugly, so I thought the best course of action was to dance like the girls in that movie. I'm sure there's still a home video out there of the 5th grade boy dancing like a stripper..."

WrongWayCharlie Report

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"My sister closed the sliding van door. I screamed.

Mom: 'KYMBERLY! You do NOT scream right after a door closes, it makes me think someone got their hand caught in it!'

Me while bawling: 'I did.'"

munchkym Report

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"When I was in second grade, I got stuck in a baby swing at a playground and the fire department had to use the jaws of life to cut me out of it."

Nugpugget Report

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"I had a stomach bug once in middle school and the f***ing nurse didn’t believe me (I may have cried wolf before). I suffered through school all day until finally my last period. We were taking a test and I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom and before I could finish speaking I projectile vomited over her shoulder and mostly into the trash can. The jock in the class was like “Woah, your throw up looks like sprite!” And even in my stupor I was like what the f***? My teacher made the horse girl walk me to the nurse with the soiled trash bin and horse girl was actually super cool about it. Told me not to be embarrassed and took my mind off it by talking about horses."

Cimrin Report

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"After receiving the CD as a gift, singing the entirety of Boys II Men’s “I’ll Make Love To You” on my 8th birthday to my parents, aunt & uncle, and both sets of grandparents - one of which is VERY religious.

'Throw your clothes... on the floor... I’m gonna take my clothes off too.'"

DaWeedNumber Report

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"It was halloween and I was in my Superman costume (7yrs old). I was with my cousin who was a Power Ranger along with my mom and dad. It was one the last homes we visited that night. We knocked on the door and the owner opens up, gives candy and out of no where, a fully grown Doberman squeezes through and chases me for a block or two. I was running full blast, my cape flying all over and shouting. Behind me, the Doberman. Behind the Doberman was my dad chasing after us and behind my dad, the dog owner chasing after us, too. Haha my mom has a deep fear of dogs. I saw her hide behind a tree along with my cousin. Good times."

arfaz08 Report

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"Chasing the ice cream truck in my undies when I was 3 yelling 'WAIT MY MOM’S GOT MONEY!'"

ThatRedHead11 Report

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"I burned my house down to a crisp when I was 4. The news channel attempted to interview me (a 4yr old) and all I kept saying was "I like Fire". My brother had to pull me away from that situation..."

TrooooooojanMaaaan Report

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"Tripping knees first into the cactus display at a botanical garden. My mum picked needles out of my knees for weeks."

punisher002 Report

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"Getting sent out within 20 seconds of entering the classroom for farting."

DenchBoyz10 Report

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"When I was about 14, a large male ostrich outrageously flirted with me, doing a full mating dance, leaning back, crouching and flailing his wings. My family and family friends witnessed the maniacal monochromatic moth*****ker and nearly died from laughing so hard. I was mortified. Fortunately I never saw him again."

Con-Struct Report

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"I remember back in fourth grade I went to a fair and they had a booth where a guy would pour different colored sand in a bottle to create pretty designs. I asked my Dad to get me one with the black, blue, and white that looked like the colors of the Carolina panthers so I could give it to a girl I was crushing on that sometimes wore a Panthers coat. I gave it to her at recess but at some point during the day she had uncorked and poured it into my backpack. She told me to give girls diamonds instead of dirt and she and her friends called me Sandy.

I remember being so sad that I asked for water instead of soda with dinner that night. I'm guessing that made some kind of sense at the time."

Infammo Report

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"When I was around 4 years old, I would get cheeky often and do things I wasn't allowed to do. When my parents asked me if I did something, I would lie but it would be very obvious. When they confronted me about it, I asked how they knew. My mother said that a big, red circle would appear on my forehead whenever I lied. Afterwards my parents asked me again if I did said thing.

Me, thinking I was an absolute genius, would facepalm my forehead and deny everything."

GirlSailor14 Report

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"My very first time playing drums in front of anyone other than my parents, I broke the stool and fell off the stage right before the first song. I’m very fat."

Wadawik Report

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"Trying to impress my crush by showing him how high I could kick. I slipped and broke my wrist."

MarsupialRage Report

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"Walking onto the mud after they half drained the Lynn River. I fell up to my armpits in mud and had to be rescued by the fire dept. By the time the firefighters got me out there must have been 50 - 100 people standing around watching my dumb a** get pulled from the mud."

imafrigginidiot Report

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"At 14, I peed my pants in the back of a cab on our way back from hanging out with the juvenile delinquents at a local military school we snuck out of our dorm to visit.

The ironic touch, for me, was that I was living in a dorm at a college in Virginia instead of going to high-school, because I was in a "gifted" program.

Yeah, I was gifted. Gifted with a complete lack of common sense."

glossolalienne Report

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"Was in choir and had an upset stomach, so was laying down while everyone else was practicing. Adults thought I was faking it so made me get up and sing with everyone. A few minutes later I puked all over another kid. They let me go home after that."

km8907 Report

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"Not embarrassing but I ruined a magic show once. The magician said he needed a good kid to help him. I declared myself a good kid and walked on stage. I then proceeded to ruin the trick by pointing out the ball he made disappear was behind a table. He then sent me away."

Dogrimmerxtreme Report

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"During recess, a ‘friend’ coaxed me into throwing a firecracker into the bushes. Which I did, because I was stupid that way. The bushes caught fire. The bushes were very close to residential houses. We didn’t know what to do, so we just went back to class, as the bell had rang. 15 minutes later, I could hear the fire engines. 5 minutes after that, my ‘friend’ and I were called into the principal’s office. After a stern talking to, the police had arrived and we were taken to the police station. Where we had to explain ourselves again. Ultimately, we each had to do 20 hours of community service.

This was in the mid 90s, before the web, smartphones, and social media. So there was no online record of this until I shared it right now. Better times."

sumpuran Report

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"When I was 16 a bunch of us went to a water park w/a wave pool that had a waterfall on one side. I was on a raft w/a boy who liked me, and when our raft went under the waterfall, the force pushed the top of my swimming suit off. I panicked and hopped off the raft to grab it underwater, and the waves started, bringing a bunch of rafts over the top of me. A lifeguard dove in and yanked my trapped, humiliated self out of the pool. The boy I was with later professed his love for me, and I still wonder how much he saw."

RiverScout2 Report

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"From my teen years, I'd just started taking cycling seriously with the 'fancy clip-in shoes'. I waited until my bunch of friends were all standing around the driveway when I decided to head out for a ride so they could see how 'serious' I was. This driveway had a slight incline so I was unable to generate enough momentum to clip into the pedals, I lost my balance and toppled over, disappearing into a flower bed."

arouseandbrowse Report

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"Ohhh I've got a good one.

I was 7 years old and my parents were hosting a family and friends gathering at home. I mostly stayed out of the way and played videogames in the living room and adults would ask me what I was playing and whatever. It was nice.

A few hours into the party I wanted some soda. I go to the fridge and see one of those little ice breaking hammers and proceed to stick my tongue to it like the cartoons did to have a laugh. I pulled it off immediately and there was blood everywhere.

I ran out crying with my bloody tongue out to the absolute horror of every single adult. Now, you'd think this would be the viral moment, but no.

A family friend that was a Doctor was there and he came over to me, saw my tongue and told me "It's fine, I just need you to spit out some blood so I can get a better look."

I proceeded to spit my mouthful of blood just straight to his face. Every single person that saw it lost their s**t laughing. Even the doctor."

RunDatTriangle Report

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"Pooping on the floor between arcade games at age seven so I wouldn’t lose my place in line to play “Gauntlet.” I lost my place in line."

Drunkensteine Report

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"Mother and father giving me a milk jug with a baby bottle nipple because of how much milk I drank as a kid.

Parents still have pictures of the whole thing and I've never forgiven them."

portablecabbage Report

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"I was caught jumping up and down on my bed in my tighty whities singing the Gilligans Island theme song when I was maybe 7 or 8. I'm glad youtube wasn't around back then."

8andimpala Report

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"I'd be the 8 year old brat who got his a** spanked at Disneyland in front of the Grand Horseshoe Saloon. Then again it was 1982, I'm sure no one was fazed by it."

MarkHamillsrightnut Report

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"Told mom stomach hurt, she sends me to school anyway. I made it the entire 30 minute bus ride, and when we started shuffling off the bus at school I started puking on the back of the kid in front of me. Everyone dove out of the way and I left a trail all the way off the bus. Everyone else had to use the emergency exit to get off the bus. I was mortified but I didn't catch too much s**t about it."

LikeAThermometer Report

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"I was in secondary school in science and started to feel queasy. I put my hand up to go to the toilet, the teacher screamed at the boy in front of me and I spewed everywhere. I was mortified. I puked right next to my crush. I'll give my classmates their due I didn't get teased for it."

reddit.com Report

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"Running from the police wearing nothing but Doc Martens, a Costco hat and a cast on my right hand, jumping a fence as best I could only to catch the toe of my boot on a picket and fall directly into some fitzer bushes, getting myself untangled only to fall into some more fitzers in the exact same yard.

That said, I got away."

xiutehcuhtli Report

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"Wearing only a jacket and bra in 8th grade then accidentally having the zipper pull down to reveal me in just the bra."

dre2048500 Report

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"Probably that time I went in to school with my pants smelling of damp. I actually didn't know that not drying out clothes properly would cause such a pungent outrage. I thought my mum had washed them with my dad's socks... So I sprayed what may as well have been a full cans worth of lynx chocolate on them and just went into school.

The smell was even worse! Walking down the corridor I heard someone scream 'OMG WHAT'S THAT SMELL' & I knew it was me. I ended up pretending to be ill and going home at break time, which wasn't soon enough. I thank that lady for letting me go even though I clearly was just leaving because of my smelly pants."

Leenol Report

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"When I dropped my 20lb tv onto my 4 year old sized body for god knows what reason. I unharmed need help lifting the tv off me because I’m four, I scream and holler for help only for my dog to come in and sh*t on the floor right next to my face. Licked the sh*t, licked me, liked itself, and then licked himself out of my room before my mom came in and helped."

YoursTruly2729 Report

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"I once fell asleep in an airport chair (I was little and a bit of a contortionist so I found a way to be comfy) but my neck was hurting... in my sleepy/blurry-eyed state I just assumed that the man in the blue blazer sitting next to me was my dad and rested my head on his shoulder for support. 2 seconds after I close my eyes again my head drops suddenly as the guy high tails it away from his seat. Not my dad..."

kellybean510 Report

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"Losing the Arizona State Spelling Bee and coming in third runner-up! I was twelve, and the word was "genuine." I spelled it correctly, but due to my accent/speech impediment, the spelling bee judge heard "J" when in actuality I said "G"."

reddit.com Report

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"Was 14, dropped off at mall. Wearing white pants went to nearby toy store decided to take shortcut back to mall through ditch. Slipped and fell in mud, walked around the mall for an hour waiting for parents, while looking like I had sh*t my pants bad."

lego_fan4life Report

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"I was tagging along while my mom visited a friend. I started feeling really bad but this lady lived in a very nice house and I was not about to tear up her bathroom with whatever demon was had taken up squatters rights in my gut. I kept shyly bugging my mom to take me home and she kept brushing me off. I guess she finally realized how serious I was when I sprinted from the car upstairs to the bathroom when we got home. I couldn’t decide whether I needed to s**t or puke first, made the wrong decision when I faced the toilet to puke and my butt erupted at the same time due to the puking pressure. Mom did feel really bad and cleaned my mess up for me, gotta love her for that haha."

beaverscleaver Report

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huertaverde said:
"When I cut my own bangs. It was bad."

I-invert-the-y-axis replied:
"Oh god, home haircuts. You'd think I'd have learned. I had so many God-awful haircuts including bangs that were half an inch long and just sort of stuck out from my hairline."

huertaverde Report

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"How I peed my pants because I thought the teacher would yell at me for asking to go to the bathroom."

PoggerObama420 Report

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"I was at the airport. Hadn't seen my dad since I got back. Saw a guy with a blazer like my dad's. Jumped onto this random stranger's back as he's looking for his luggage. He must've been so confused!"

Zedfourkay Report

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"My friend and I used to choreograph dances for various songs (Barbie girl being one of our best) and record it on her dads video camera. I hope to god no one ever finds those tapes."

awkwardviolinist127 Report

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"I was around 8 or so and my first time seeing a men's urinal inside a Mcdonald's restroom. I thought to myself, "what a weird sink" and proceeded to wash my hands on it by literally smearing my hands on the surface of the urinal where the water flows. Got back to our table and told my mom about it. I don't know it was possible for someone to gasp, laugh, cry, and be embarrassed at the same time. I'm pretty sure other people from surrounding tables overheard it."

workpurp13 Report

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"My mom was in college when I was about a baby so sometimes she'd have to take me, well one time we were in the computer lab during finals week (in the age before auto save) and I guess I got away by crawling under the tables. I found this nice glowing switch under there and apparently wanted to give it a press... well suddenly the entire lab shut off and about 30 people lost god knows how much work. She rushed me out of there totally freaked out before anyone got an idea of what happened."

Wumbo0 Report

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"Vomiting all over the classroom and hallways of my new school on the first day of Grade 5. My mom told me it was just "nerves" and sent me to school with the stomach flu. We were all sitting in a circle in the reading area of the class when I started spewing. I ran out of the classroom into a school I had never been in before and had no idea where any bathrooms were just trying to hold the sick in my mouth. I did not succeed. Great way to make a first impression."

Rozureido88 Report

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"Grade 1, I told the teacher that I wasn't feeling good, it was close to the end of the day so she told me to just sit quietly with my head on my desk. At the end of the day we were lining up to leave the classroom and I threw up all over the place. I was just little and didn't understand what was happening and do I started crying... crying and throwing up in front of my whole class. It was traumatizing."

INeedACleverNameHere Report

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"Was in a shopping mall when I heard someone say my name (at least it sounded like my name). I looked up from my phone to see this pretty girl walking towards me with outstretched arms and a smile. She looked so familiar, like someone I knew from my highschool, so of course my dumb, nearsighted self, who didn't want to second guess his good fortune, opened his arms wide to receive and reciprocate the hug.

She side-stepped around me neatly like a ballerina-ninja and delivered the hug to it's rightful owner who was right behind me in my blind spot, leaving me fumbling to play off the most embarrassing moment of my life.

I still cringe when I think about this."

Item_13 Report

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"I wrote Valentine card to a guy in school, he realized it's me and made fun of me in front of everyone. That was BAD."

owl_and_cookies Report

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"Getting stuck in a tree during recess. Next period was sports, so everybody from my class was outside, able to watch the teachers trying to lift be out.

About 15 minutes later a fireman got me out with no effort at all and one arm."

mybrot Report

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"Young me was annoyed by a girl and we kinda started fighting. I showed her my awesome karate moves. Basically, you can imagine a tiny girl, age 5 showing of her not available karate skills to an older, bigger and definitely stronger girl who was definitely not impressed by my moves. She simply walked away."

twosadpotato Report

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"I had a stomach bug and my mum didn’t believe me and sent me to school (I definitely cried wolf too many times) and because I hadn’t puked since I was 4 (I was 12 at this time) I puked all over the desk. When my mum came to get me the teacher said “Why didn’t she ask to go outside or just run out?” And my mum was like “She likely didn’t know what was happening. She never pukes. Like ever”."

MouseSnackz Report

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"That time when I was rowing my younger brother around in our little dinghy and insisted it should be me, not him, who should hold the duck’s egg that we had found in an abandoned nest. I held the egg between my skinny legs as I rowed us back; long story short: it rolled off the bench and broke on the dinghy’s bottom. It turned out to be a rotten egg and the stench was intense! I remember crying as I was made to scrub out the dinghy while my brother was enjoying his evening meal with my parents."

Solitary-Dolphin Report

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Brak23 said:
"My friend and I thought it would be 'fun' to recreate Jack*** and title it Jackb**t - We were like 11-12. Instead of doing anything actually dangerous, we would take the trucks/wheels off our skateboard and do stupid tricks on a trampoline and then make a hand signal and yell Jackb**t at the camera.

I am glad the recording on VHS was 'lost' to the world."

BelowAboveAvg replied:
"I hope it turns up at a garage sale sometime and makes its way to its proper place online. Jackb**t!!"

Brak23 Report

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"My mom took a lot of pictures of me crying when I was young. I was a teenager when I found them and even then I was all WTF? I am positive that they would all be on SM.

It was complicated. No, I do not know why she did it. I do know that I received the least of the questionable interactions of all my siblings. I prefer to think that I was a beautiful toddler who cried gracefully. What cha gonna do."

Tess47 Report

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