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30 Extremely Embarrassing Things These Internet Users Told People They Wanted To Impress
We’ve all been there—we’ve just said or done something incredibly embarrassing, we’re blushing redder than a stop sign, and we wish we could just disappear. Failure and embarrassment are natural parts of being a human being, and how we behave when we make a (very public) mistake says a lot about who we are. But some moments are so painful, we can’t help but relive them year after year. Sharing them with strangers online can help.
One redditor sparked a very open and honest discussion on the r/AskReddit community, as folks started spilling the tea about the most embarrassing things they’ve ever said to someone they were trying to impress. Get ready for a heavy dose of secondhand embarrassment and check out their stories below!
Bored Panda wanted to find out what to do if we keep remembering our extremely embarrassing moments all the time, so we reached out to Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., the host of the mental health advice podcast 'Baggage Check' and the bestselling author of 'Detox Your Thoughts.' You'll find the advice she shared, including when to seek a therapist's help, as you read on.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Kissed a girl for the first time when I was 13, something prompted me to say "average" and she loathed me for the rest of the academic year. Cut to 6 years later I matched with her on bumble. We met, we sexed and she looked me dead in the eye and said "average". She is my bestfriend now.
#2
Was on an airplane years ago with my girlfriend and her parents. My girlfriend couldn't get a seat next to me and sat directly behind me. During the flight I thought I would surprise her and reached me hand back onto her knee. Slowly I kept extending it up her thigh until I heard giggling. Looked behind through the seats and saw that my hand was on the leg of the guy next to her. He saw my face and said, "I just wanted to see how far you'd go." Of course my girlfriend was in on it and started laughing along with the rest of the row. Was so embarrassed
#3
Not me but my husband. For context we've known each other since kindergarten and started dating at 14.
I was in a very edgy emo phase at 14 (it was 2007, weren't we all) and my husband, trying to impress me, and thinking I was into the "bad boy" type lied and told me that he had gone to jail over the summer. I knew this was not true, again we'd known each other since kindergarten and he was the most well behaved and easy-going kid I knew, so I asked him why he went to jail. What his 14 year old brain came up with as a cool but not too serious reason to be in jail was that he "got too high and threw a Twinkie at an old woman while he was skateboarding, but it hit her too hard, and she fell and got knocked unconscious"
I remember him saying this with 100% sincerity as I sat there trying my hardest not to crack up because I had a crush on him and he was a big dork, but it was charming. I could see that he instantly regretted saying that, like I could visibly see it on his face as he realized how stupid that sounded but I dropped it at the time and didn't bring it back up again until years later when we were more comfortable with each other. We're 30 now and I still bring it up as a joke on occasion, our kids now also think it's hilarious.
Dr. Bonior told Bored Panda that in situations when someone is constantly tormented by memories when they embarrassed themselves, it's important to think about reframing the narrative.
"Did the situation teach you something? Did it make you stronger? Did it give you added understanding or empathy for other people? In general, we often over-focus on ourselves and assume that people are still thinking about something embarrassing we did when in reality they are thinking about something embarrassing they did!" she told us via email.
"So ask yourself realistically, why would this be something that other people even care about? And even if they did, how is thinking about it now helping me? You can use some techniques borrowed from meditation where you visualize the embarrassing situation as a cloud that, as you breathe slowly, dissipates, or as a leaf that gradually floats away on a stream," she advised.
#4
When my dad was a kid, he tried to impress an older lady. She had asked him what he was studying, and he confidently told her “Latin”. She seemed really impressed by this, so she asked him to speak a bit of Latin to her. He knew one word, and created a bunch of other words around it that sounded Latin-ish. She frowned and told him it was a bad thing to lie.
Her job? Latin teacher.
#5
Went to catholic school.
Lots of Ukrainian classmates.
Had a crush on a Ukrainian girl, so I asked some Ukrainian friends what I could say to her. A pickup line maybe.
So at lunch I went to her and said (and I'm probably not spelling any of these correctly) "Di me ni hlib tper!" She laughed so I went back to my friends and asked for another.
"Ya ye dournee" she laughed a bit harder. This was good material. I went back and asked for another.
"Ya popishya moi shtaneh" she spit pop and was in hysterics.
The first was, "Give me a piece of bread!"
The second was, "I'm stupud!"
And the last was, "I pissed my pants!"
Those a******s got me a couple dates with her tho!
Take me to dinner first 1 year ago
I'm not sure if you were dumb for trusting your friends when she was reacting that way or if you were incredibly smart because whatever the method, the thing is that you got the date
#6
I did once (truthfully) tell a girl from Austria that I didn't know what the capital of Austria was - which wouldn't be too embarrassing, except that I was wearing a t-shirt which said 'Vienna Rocks" on it at the time. She thought I was joking.
Take me to dinner first 1 year ago
Well if you don't know the capital of Austria she shouldn't expect you to recognize it by reading its name
Meanwhile, the author of 'Detox Your Thoughts' noted that a good rule of thumb for when to seek professional help is to look at whether the embarrassing memories people remember get in the way of their daily life and functioning.
"For instance, if it is really disrupting your sleep a lot over time, or it's keeping you from wanting to socialize, or it's bringing down your mood so much that you can't concentrate, those are all examples of how your daily life is suffering," Dr. Bonior told Bored Panda.
"But also too, I'm a big fan of therapy just for gaining insight into a situation. There might be a problematic pattern with your thinking that needs to be explored further, even if the distress that's being caused isn't completely disruptive. Getting help could still go a long way toward improving your life."
#7
I worked at the local guitar shop in town in highschool. It happens to be tom Morello's home town (of rage against the machine fame). The owner used to babysit him when tom was little and he'd always stop by to say hi when they were in town on tour. This was around the time of evil empire and they were at peak popularity. He came in one day while I was there and asked if John was in. 16 year old me just looked at him and asked "do you know who you are?!?!" He just laughed and said yes. Humiliated I went and got the owner and then tried to hide and die from shame.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 1 year ago
I think he probably thought it was cute coming from a 16 year old fan.
#8
One day I went to my boss's chamber and saw his arm in a cast. I wanted to say something sympathetic and score some brownie points but what I said was "sir, your arm is broken". He looked at me and said "I know".
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
Brain fart moment. We've all been there so I think despite everything, your boss knows...
#9
Not embarrassing thing said but when I was first dating my now wife i set fire to the restaurant and some random guy at the table next to me put it out. So I bought him a drink to say thanks and spilled it on his date.
Wanted to die.
EDIT: woah. I went on the p**s and came back to my wife WhatsApping me
Hi babe.
Harvard Business Review points out that embarrassment can work in your favor because it shows the people around you that you’re just like them—human. So long as we don’t make a big deal about our mess-up, things should be fine.
“You’d be surprised by how compassionate and nonjudgmental your audience is. Everyone wants a leader who shows their human side. Your humility is what will make you relatable,” Lan Nguyen Chaplin writes.
Psych Central suggests practicing self-compassion or laughing things off to work through an embarrassing moment. Other things that help are common sense approaches like apologizing and owning up to your mistake. Doing some deep breathing also helps to stay calm, in the moment.
But if you feel like you’re still obsessing over your mistake, it can help to vent to your friends or to seek a therapist’s help. They might give you a different perspective that’ll help you move forward.
#10
I told everyone I knew about my plan to go on a trip to Europe. I had planned to tour different countries by train with a special visit to… Amsterdam. My intention was to visit a marijuana cafe, but in my ignorance I thought that these were all located in the red lights district. I would tell people I was going to the the red light district and they would understandably pause and ask me… why? Trying to be sly I would say something like “to do what the locals do of course,” believing that this meant smoking marijuana in a cafe…
I was actually telling everyone I knew, friends, teachers, relatives, coworkers, that I was going to cross the Atlantic so I could hire a prostitute…
#11
First girlfriend, 6th grade, went to the movies.
Wanted to hold her hand, terrified, wasn’t sure what to do. Started giving her a sales pitch on how awesome my hands were.
“They’re really good at holding stuff, like boxes…or jugs”
Was truly thinking of milk jugs (god knows why) but accidentally suggested I could just hold her boobs.
It’s been more than 20 years and I still think of it regularly
#12
Trying to lie about my age.
Her: _"You're too young, how old are you?"_
Me: _"I..eh um..I'm like 20 or 21 I am."_
As the Sentence left my mouth I realised how ridiculous I had just sounded.
**For clarification, I was 17 and absolutely hammered at the time.**
The most important thing when it comes to an embarrassing situation is to come to terms with what happened. The last thing you need is for it to turn into a deep-seated sense of shame that will follow you everywhere—making you facepalm and cringe in the shower, on your commute, and when trying to sleep at night. In short, you really don’t want that.
No matter how much of a fool you think you’ve made of yourself, there are two things to remember. First of all, everyone makes mistakes. Literally everyone! Even those seemingly ‘perfect’ social media stars you follow online don’t have it all figured out. Messing up and learning from our mistakes is a universal experience, no matter someone’s background or circumstances.
#13
"Hey everyone, check this out!"
Trying to attract the attention of a beautiful girl who sang soprano in the choral program at music camp. I was a gangly violinist. We were tossing a Frisbee around.
I'd been practicing the classic, "under-the-leg" Frisbee throw. It was time to reveal my move.
A dozen campers, including my crush, looked directly at me.
I lifted my leg, flung the bee, caught it on my right pinky. It shot like a flying blade of plastic sideways and proceeded to hit my crush directly in the THROAT.
She collapsed, gasping.
She couldn't sing for the rest of the camp season.
This is the last memory I will experience as the wave of DMT floods my brain with the soft light of death.
#14
Not me, my husband.
In the beginning of our relationship he was soo bad at complimenting but he felt the need to do it anyway.
So once when we traveled by bus together he just kept staring at me with loving eyes and said
'You are so different than anyone I ever meet... you... you.. i think... you degenerate from society.'
I said 'Oh, wow! NOW I feel so special.'
His face went white and started to stutter but I laughed it off.
Some times later we were at a bus stop full of people and he blurted out loud.
'Your hair is so pretty! How did you do it? Like did you wash it or what?'
'Yeah, I never do that before but I like to shake things up sometimes.'
He got a cold and a running nose, but he never had any handkerchief at hand. I thought out some romantic gesture (i was 17 at the time) I brought some tissue paper with me, but on one, I write a loving note to him.
He saw the note... Read the note... and blew his nose in it. -.-
I gave up on romantic then.
He is my husband, best friend for many years now and the father of my children. 😊🤣
Kathleen McGann 1 year ago
He blurts out stuff from the heart. MUCH better than "romantic" things someone memories.
#15
I had a crush on the receptionist of my college’s gym. One night when I was the last one in there, I got nervous making small talk and offered to help her clean up before she closed the gym, and I immediately thought to myself “wow you sound like a f*****g serial killer”
She actually got the vacuum out for me and proceeded to talk about her boyfriend. At the end of the day, not mad since I did something nice for someone lol
Secondly, well, not to sound too critical, but the world doesn’t revolve around you, nor us. What might have been the embarrassment of a lifetime for us may have simply been a witty moment for someone else… if they noticed it in the first place. Odds are that everyone’s far too obsessed with thinking about how others perceive them to nitpick our mistakes.
Do people judge others? Yes, obviously, all the time. However, they probably don’t hold your mistakes against you as much as you punish yourself by going over the same memories over and over and over again. We are, usually, our own harshest critics.
#16
It wasn’t me, but a very loud phone conversation that was almost impossible not to listen in on the LRT ride home. A guy is trying to impress a woman on the other line by acting tough, saying if some other guy does anything out of line, he’ll “bruschetta him really good”.
Like, you’ll invite him over for appetizers?
You can tell the woman isn’t getting it either because he keeps on trying to explain it to her, and he’s getting more and more agitated. He has a bruschetta at home, he’s ready to go at any time.
Finally it gets to the point that he realizes she doesn’t know what he means by bruschetta and he explains it’s a knife that they use to cut through underbrush in the rainforest.
He means machete.
At this point I lose it laughing and dude looked like he was both ready to throw down and was dying a little inside.
It’s been probably 12 years and I still think about this often.
#17
Crush in HS worked at an ice cream store. When she asked for toppings I said “I’ll have Reese’s penises please”. The store laughed.
#18
Not trying to date someone, but my first job interview, i got a question that was: ‘describe yourself in 3 words.’ My a*s literally said ‘lazy’. Somehow still got the job
#19
Was sat round a camp fire at a festival with a few friends and some random women that had joined us. Everyone was drinking, talking and having a good time.
One of the women got up and said to her friends "I'm gonna go and grab something from the tent, you coming?".
One friend replied "nah, I'm gonna stay here and get f****d".
My drunken stupid a**e took it wrong and blurted out "I'll f**k ya".
She looks a bit shocked and goes "that's not really what I meant but thanks I guess".
She meant get f****d up on booze and I still cringe about it almost 30 years later.
Linda Riebel 1 year ago
So happy I'm not the only one cringing about things I said decades ago...
#20
When I started dating this guy I met at Warped Tour the summer before starting college, his dad wanted to meet me because apparently it was a red flag for his son to have met a girl at a concert. I went over to his house to meet his father and when he asked what I would be majoring in I said “I will be majoring in minoring”… I turned bright red and tried to correct myself. A few minutes in and his dad busted up laughing. He thankfully instantly liked me after that and now here I am 13 years later married to the guy I met at Warped Tour.
Heather Webb 1 year ago
🎵 Hanging out behind the club on the weekends Acting stupid, getting drunk with my best friends I couldn't wait for the summer and the Warped Tour I remember it's the first time that I saw her there She's getting kicked out of school 'cause she's failing I'm kinda nervous, 'cause I think all her friends hate me She's the one, she'll always be there She took my hand and I made it, I swear Because I fell in love with the girl at the rock show She said, "What?", and I told her that I didn't know She's so cool, gonna sneak in through her window Everything's better when she's around I can't wait 'til her parents go out of town I fell in love with the girl at the rock show🎵
#21
Your eyes are like Mushroom.
She laughed so hard that we dated for 7 years.
#22
I was getting to know a girl once. She said “I’m a librarian”. I said “I’m a Capricorn”.
#23
Server trying to get a tip: I went to clear a shared dessert dish from a table of 4 - mom, dad and 2 sons. One son jokingly pointed at his mom and said "She ate most of it". I, braindead server who was/is terrible at banter, but trying to get a tip said the first reply that came to mind: "I can tell"
No idea why. Terrible reaction, as expected. No tip
Take me to dinner first 1 year ago
Noooo, oh God, save their soul from forever overthinking this horrific day
#24
Said to me, with full confidence and eye contact whilst they were holding a guitar, "I'm going to marinate you now"
I was, eventually when we both stopped laughing, serenaded.
#25
Dating my now fiance for a few weeks, we go away for a weekend
Me: ask my anything, I'll prove I pay attention to everything you've said or done
Her: what tattoo have I got on my back?
Me: a flower? It's got a green stalk
Her: its a lizard
Me: to be fair, I've not seen it much, you're always on your back
#26
My university boyfriend invited me to meet his friends at a house party. His friends were known to be quite judgmental and historically not nice to their friends’ girlfriends.
I was so nervous on the way in the car, so my boyfriend kept telling me to just try and spend some time with a guy called Johan (the nicest one of the bunch).
As we pulled up, one of the friends came out to the car and my boyfriend said: “That’s Johan. Talk to him.”
I got out, extended my hand, and said: “Hi, I’m Johan.” There was no way to recover from that.
#27
“You’ve got beautiful eyes”
“Thank you - I grew them myself”
It was this cute guy working at the bank trying to help me with my account. I heard this somewhere and for some reason this was the only thing I could think of because I was incredibly shy back then, especially when it came to any male attention.
I still remember his face dropping 😂🤦🏻♀️
#28
While dancing at a house party with a girl, we were talking about human anatomy. The girl was telling me that in short the female form is much more beautiful then a males form, and that: "vaginas are beautiful and d***s are ugly" ...
At which point I declared:
"What, I have a pretty d**k"-
Well, the music cut, at that exact moment, and since it was being played extremely loud, when It cut the entire room heard that declaration...
Tl/Dr
Shouted I have a pretty d**k to an entire house party full of people...
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago (edited)
To each their own. Go you, for having a pretty p*nis. Although I personally think mine looks pretty meh instead XP
#29
I once attempted to impress someone with my extensive knowledge of ancient civilizations, but accidentally referred to the Aztecs as the 'Avocados.'
#30
Went to Warped Tour, they had a contest to submit a photo and the winner got to meet one of the bands.
Took a sick shot with my blackberry, submitted it in its low resolution glory and won somehow.
Honestly had no idea who the band was, but I met them, got a signed poster, shook all their hands.
Then I said “you guys were awesome, great show”.
Singer said “well, we haven’t played yet so…”
Edit: did some digging, it was Warped Tour ‘06 and the band was The Academy Is…
What do you think ?
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
Oh man, my time to shine here. On our first date, my wife was very nervous and was laughing at basically everything I was saying. I had just taken a long trip to India earlier that year and she asked me about the food, which was superb and my American stomach held up okay, except on one occasion. I talked about how I had such bad diarrhea that I took too much immodium and ended up constipated for a week. She laughed and laughed. So my pea brain was like "oh, you like poop stories, huh? well, here's 50 more." So we spent 3 hours of our first date mostly talking about poop. How I scored a 2nd date is beyond me.
Osprey 1 year ago
I met a friend of a friend who was gender neutral/ trans masculine. I have social anxiety but they were attractive and I was trying to make small talk. They said their sister was pregnant... I asked if it was gonna be a boy or a girl. They told me that they were just happy if it was healthy, then walked away.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
Oh man, my time to shine here. On our first date, my wife was very nervous and was laughing at basically everything I was saying. I had just taken a long trip to India earlier that year and she asked me about the food, which was superb and my American stomach held up okay, except on one occasion. I talked about how I had such bad diarrhea that I took too much immodium and ended up constipated for a week. She laughed and laughed. So my pea brain was like "oh, you like poop stories, huh? well, here's 50 more." So we spent 3 hours of our first date mostly talking about poop. How I scored a 2nd date is beyond me.
Osprey 1 year ago
I met a friend of a friend who was gender neutral/ trans masculine. I have social anxiety but they were attractive and I was trying to make small talk. They said their sister was pregnant... I asked if it was gonna be a boy or a girl. They told me that they were just happy if it was healthy, then walked away.
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