Or vote for another political party, or change their religion, or have special needs, or .....it is not just that one thing that unconditionally love goes for

A proper hand shake at a proper social distance should be acceptable to most. I've shaken hands (?) with small children and they seemed to be pleased.

This should be way higher

You mean the whole "you live here for free so you better earn your keep"? Such BS. Teach your kids to clean up after themselves and be decent human beings. Don't force them into behaving through fear tactics. Its your job as a parent to provide them with basic human needs. They don't have to earn those. Teaching a kid to respect you through fear earns you no more kids when they turn 18. You will not get a positive reaction from a negative action. Period!

It’s kind of sad that this is controversial.

Me: "you're a terrible mother" my mom: "i kept you alive didnt i??!?!". That's her only defense.

The whole "I feed you and put a roof over your head!" thing is so dumb. Of course you did those things, you would literally be committing a crime if you didn't.

Providing for a kid's needs is the bare minimum of parenting... BARE MINIMUM! If you want to be considered a "good" parent you have to invest more time and effort into shaping the child into a functioning adult that can then do the same for the next generation and so on!

Extra evil points to parents that make their kids feel like they "owe" them for providing food/shelter... or for just "allowing them to be born." : p

you dont get a parent award for doing the bare minimum

Food and shelter AND emotional support. The latter is what my mom missed out on providing me and darn it I suffer from that still. On the other hand I make a point of giving my kids emotional support just as I would have liked to have and they seem so much in balance in a way I have never been!

This

Wish my parents had less presence is my life, maybe I wouldn't be so bitter

And they don't owe you a damn thing for it.

Yes Elon, if you want to work 100-hour weeks, don't have children.

And who gets to decide? Only if you are clever enough? Only if you are educated enough? Only if you have the correct views? Only if you belong to the correct party? This is arguing for eugenics. At some point people would put their own opinions as facts, and Jews, Gypsies and Disabled would be unable to procreate.

I witnessed endless scandals and domestic violence between my parents. I repeatedly saw how my father would threaten, insult and humiliate my mother. I grew up being convinced that this was normal in every family. Then, as a young adult, I spend a vacation in a friend's house. Her parents were so kind and respectful to each other. To me this was unreal, and I thought "they act it out so well. They surely must yell and insult each other when I'm not present". :(

A lot of creativity can stem from boredom.

Oooh, louder for those in the back. Many parents I know (including mine) are like: "I raised you, therefore you are my property and you must do what I say. Your opinions and feelings are irrelevant as long as you live under my roof. And be careful not to ever talk back to me, unless you wish to sleep outside in the street."

This. I finally matured to realise that babies and toddlers can't talk and became a lot more tolerant of crying. Unless they are being a cantankerous little barstard like the one on the tube last night...

Also girl dads who have a creepy almost incestuous possessiveness of their daughters virginity. I have daughters and they were both told the consequences of not being careful and how to watch out for themselves. Rarely, if ever do you see boys go through the same. Y’all just need to stop

That's the kind of parent that will wonder one day why their children never visit them.

Abusive partners will do this too. It’s always wrong, regardless of who does it

Stop describing my mother!

Absolutely! Two happy homes are better than one miserable home

And also I went buck wild any chance I did get away from my mother

This sentiment is often misconstrued as children having equal rights in decision making in the family. No, the parent HAS to tbe the one making the decisions. Input from the child is valuable and explanations when this input is not heeded is valuable for the child to grow, but the parent has the last word. We have the word ‘childish’ for a reason. And we have the expression ‘responsible adult’ for a reason.

Yep. People wonder why my daughter is so trouble free. It's just that we explain things to her since she was a baby. We tell why something is dangerous/wrong or not.

Having and being responsible for a kid is completely different than being one

And in some cases, you literally mess up their life. My mother used to compare me with my classmate (who was very good in math and physics): "Why can't you be smart like him? I'm sure he does math problems every day! But you are stupid and lazy!" Fast forward several years, I was a college student, and my former classmate now had a crush on me. And I couldn't stand him, just because my mother's words were so fresh in my mind.

It's like on the planes, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first then on the child. If you are not ok how are you going to have a good relationship with your kid?

You are never really ready to be a parent.

Ditto

i actually agree with nesto. it’s important to be grateful for what you have. im not saying you need to serve your parent for the rest of your life to make up for it, nor am i saying this is okay for the parent to use against the child in an argument. all i am saying it that it is important for children to acknowledge that some people have less, and they need to practice gratitude.

I swear, sometimes I think the only reason some people have children is to have endless content for their social media 😫

I think of the times my dad offered me guidance. And i wonder about how things would have been if i'd been smart enough to listen.

Agreed.

my dad was a parent that purposely parented with fear and he thought he was the best dad ever. he used to purposely make me scared of him (he used to tell me most nights before bed he could read my mind and if I thought something bad he would know it and he would tell everyone what bad thing I was thinking about) because he thought it would make me more submissive to his rules. that was not helpful to my growth in any way

My mother wanted to use me as her therapist to talk about her negative emotions. Our relationship faltered partially due to that (amongst other things).

I feel this one. I used to wish to have guests at home because only then my mother would be nice to me (for the guests to see what a "good parent" she was). Otherwise, she'd constantly scream, insult and even slap me for minor mistakes (like, if I dropped a teaspoon on the floor).

Neither are doctors visits, injuries, crying, potty training, or any kind of trauma or moment where someone might make fun of them for the rest of their life

My son's iPad has access to 3 sites between 7am and 7pm. He actually found a loophole in the parenting controls. I added the specific URL's to some train videos on YouTube as they were embedded in one of the sites. However doing that actually opened up all of YouTube and he discovered that pretty quickly. It was quite surprising to see him watching other videos when I thought that only the specific ones were allowed.

Same with teachers

Natural consequences are often the best teacher. As long as it isn't something that is REALLY dangerous, let them have at it once in a while.

I wish abortion was such an easy option for everyone. Forced birth should be a crime, not the other way around 😡

Oh man I heard it all as a kid .. continuously and repeatedly .. all the awful stuff that happened to her. While she was ignoring all of the awful stuff that was happening to me .. Thanks mom

I’m not a slave either, though. I will ask my kids for help - they can learn skills that way (like making their own meals and cleaning their own spaces), I can spend time with them doing tasks together that I wouldn’t have if I did it by myself AND I can also, if they are lucky, motivate them to earn pocket money by doing jobs, which is also a valuable life lesson.

When my son was 18 months, it became a nightmare to feed him. Every meal was an opposition game. We tried a lot of things until we realised he wanted to eat by himself. Meals became a mess but at least, he ate. When my daughter was 18months, it became a nightmare to feed her. We thought "aha, we already know this game". Well it was not the same game. She has sensory issues, some textures trigger her gaging reflex. She needed pieces to chew with her 2 teeth, purées didn't work for her, it still the same nowdays.

When I was a baby, I tried to eat the cats and the dog. Whilst this in retrospect surely wasn't the best thing to let me do, as these animals could have retaliated against me, I now almost never get sick because neither cat nor dog paws are clean. Also, toddlers are still dumb so better don't leave anything out they might swallow.

My MIL parented with thick layer of guilt .. and all of her kids have paid a high price for her cheap methods of control.

Brother only wanted my toy after I started playing with it.

I (childfree) had this conversation with a coworker (mom of a 9) just this morning. Mom yelled at kid for something. Kid calmly pointed out Mom had it wrong. Mom realized it, and APOLOGIZED to the 9. I was blown away.

The best way to evaluate the life choices of an older person is by whether or not any of their adult children will still speak with them.

Children are not the parents retirement plans also

lots of people have kids so they have an excuse to prolong their own childhoods tbh. that was my parents. i wish they hadn't had kids tbh. and that's a very weird bad conclusion to cope with when you are the kid in question.

I don’t think that’s how time-out works. The purpose of time out is not punishment; the purpose is to calm down the situation. If it’s a very young child, the parent should stay within the child’s eyeshot. Older children may require a few minutes of solitude.