Truth is a valuable resource, and when we lack it, we may go to extreme lengths to replicate it. Yet, sometimes people can tell the difference between the fake and the real thing.
Reddit user RobDa59 asked others on the platform to share the lies they've heard the most, and the replies immediately started pouring in—a couple of thousand in just a few days.
Whether it's because everyone's guilty of using the same false claims themselves or they've simply grown tired of hearing them over and over again, apparently, some lines aren't fooling anyone.
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“I have read and agree to the terms and conditions”.
South Park did a hillarious episode about this called "HumancentiPad" (s15e01).
You know the terms and conditions we just click through because we are so excited to get our new devices? Well my original Samsung Galaxy tab from 2013 was never updated so I decided to read them.... Don't do it. It's terrifying. Maybe it was all a dream but in a nutshell we have all pretty much signed away all rights to property and privacy and quiet enjoyment under the laws of Texas.
You own the device but not the system and programs. They are for rent, apparently. Ever read your bank account terms and conditions? Not very hopeful there, either. These companies know people don't read the fine print. That's where they get you.
Load More Replies...We got in touch with Dr. John A. Johnson, professor emeritus of psychology at Penn State University, to learn more about morality, and he told Bored Panda that before we can talk about lying, we need to be clear about the definition.
"From my perspective, lying is more than just saying something that is not true. First, the liar must be aware that what they are saying is not true," Dr. Johnson highlighted. "If I say something untrue but genuinely believe it is true, that is not a lie; that is just a mistake."
"Second, and most critically, lying is an intentional attempt to gain something valuable by trying to convince someone that the lie is true. If a used-car salesperson withholds from a customer information about a car's engine showing defects in the past and assures the customer that the car runs like a charm and should run fine for years to come, then it is obvious what the salesperson is intending to gain: a commission from selling the car," Dr. Johnson illustrated.
"Other lies can be more subtle, like promising things that the liar has no intention of delivering or withholding information that might be damaging to the liar's reputation. These kinds of lies, which are stock-in-trade for politicians, are attempts to secure power by misleading the public."
“ When I am elected, I will…”.
What is often left out is.."So long as Congress and Senate agree". Thus riling up rabid supporters because the hero (both sides) "can't do what he wants".
That's exactly it. No politicians can realistically promise to do anything. They can only promise to try. And if they make a compromise you don't like to get it done, well, sometimes that's the only option.
Load More Replies...This is not the most common lie to tell, but one really common to hear.
This lie is the one we're all hoping the Angry Orange was telling his entire campaign about his plans to regress America's civil rights back to the 1940s...
We value your privacy.
Along the lines of "we value your input (unless you disagree)"
Load More Replies...Well it's sort of true. they sell your private information so they do find value in your privacy
But, according to Dr. Johnson, there are many possible things to be gained beyond the obvious ones, such as money and power.
"So-called white lies are meant to spare a person's feelings. What the teller of the white lie gains from [it] is feeling good about themselves because they avoided hurting someone's feelings or creating an uncomfortable social situation," he explained.
Now, we can get to what many of you probably believe to be the main question: why do people lie, even when it doesn't seem to be necessary? Dr. Johnson said that, paradoxically, in many cases, it's probably because people think it's necessary.
"It doesn't occur to them that there are other ways of gaining what they consider valuable without lying. Or, in other cases, lying seems easier than telling the truth. Or, it is simply a habit," he said.
If the surgeon says, “you’ll experience some mild discomfort.” You know it’s gonna hurt like hell. It’s guaranteed.
"If the surgeon says" If I'm in the middle of surgery I better not be hearing what the surgeon says at all.
They do lots of procedures under local anesthesia. I had a very spacey conversation with the surgeon who was doing my detached retina repair.
Load More Replies..."it just stings a little" said before a lidocaine injection in my arm. It was not in fact, just a little
They're LIARS! I almost stripped the skin from a finger on my left hand and when they were about to "numb" it they told me that. Bastards put 8-10 injections (I don't remember exactly) in my fingertip that went nearly to the bone (gotta get that nerve) and I nearly jumped off the gurney.
Load More Replies...A few years back I had a hemorrhoidectomy and beforehand, the surgeon said that afterwards for a few days it will feel like you will be s******g razorblades. I thought, nah, he's lying, it won't be that bad. He wasn't.
At least he was honest. And sorry about your bum. 😬
Load More Replies...When I came round from the general anaesthetic, after having a small section of my bowel removed, the nurses were astonished! They told me that my op was nicknamed "the screamer" as everyone (before me) had woken up screaming in pain! Nobody told me that BEFORE i underwent the operation!!!
"just a little poke" then proceeds to ram the Dakota Access Pipeline into your arm
"I'm fine; how are you?".
Its also considerate. You gonna hold up a randos day to tell him about your sister relapsed or how your experiencing paranormal activity in your home and you have this super cool video exposing it?
Load More Replies...Honestly, I just don't think most people are up for a genuine update as my life is a bit difficult.
I like to answer, maybe not gruesome detail, but you ask me I answer.
“This is my last one”- most common lie heard by bartenders.
Is it a lie if the intention is true? Philosophical question of the day
It's a lie that you tell yourself if you have a history of failing to keep it. Lying to yourself is dangerous.
Load More Replies...We also got in touch with RobDa59, the Redditor who initiated the discussion and can be found on Instagram under the same nickname.
"I found myself going through emails for a weekly radio show I co-host when I was clearing spam/fake emails [and] wondering what the most common lies people hear or say," he told us about the origins of the post.
RobDa59 said, "I do believe some 'lies' to be acceptable in the sense that some truths do not always need to be said; as well some 'lies' can make someone's day better, and with how hard life can be sometimes that small lie to cheer someone up is needed."
"Sorry, just seeing your text now".
I've never lied about this. I keep my phone on silent 99% of the time and I'm often busy and not near my phone. I miss a lot of texts and don't see them until later.
Mine isn't on silent, I just don't bother to look at it every time it makes a noise.
Load More Replies...It is possibly true. Just because it shows "read" doesn't mean I was physically looking at the screen when the message was received. Same with the active green circle on Facebook. Doesn't mean anyone is physically scrolling through facebook or chatting with someone on messenger.
I can not bring my phone into my building at work and very often not allowed to have it with me, so more used to not looking at it or having it on me.
Not a lie. I often miss calls and texts because my phone is on silent or not near me. Or I’ve simply ignored it doing something else.
"You can do anything if you our your mind to it." Just no. We all have our limitations. I could study my a*s off and cut out all junk food and work out non stop. Does it mean Im going to be the next Elon Musk or Albert Einstein or Usain Bolt? No. We all have limitations and only a select few will truly succeed in life.
Exactly, you can do anything you are able to if you put your mind to it
Also, this lie is harmful to people who keep beating their heads against brick walls.
He's a psychopath with too much money, that's what he is.
Load More Replies...Dr. Johnson also acknowledges there's a possibility that a lie can lead to a positive outcome. (For the sake of simplicity, let's all agree to moral universalism—at least this time.)
"Some lies are harmless and may even be beneficial. That is actually a difficult thing for me to say because, as I mentioned, I am uncomfortable with even small lies," the psychologist said. "But, the thing is, absolutes rarely describe life accurately, and that includes lying. Life is not so simple and black-and-white such that every intentional untruth is always wrong.
"Lies can have both positive and negative consequences for both liars and their audiences, and it can be difficult to sum up the total positives and negatives for any lie. (Of course, many lies have obviously negative consequences, which is why our culture generally judges lying to be immoral.)"
But, Dr. Johnson added, sometimes even the truth itself is "fuzzy" and "hard to determine." Remember the used-car salesperson who says a car with engine defects in the past will run fine in the future? "This is certainly a sneaky, misleading thing to say to the customer. But maybe the mechanics corrected the defects sufficiently for the car to run fine for years. Who knows? Lying is a gray area."
I can quit anytime I want.
That's a lie I tell myself everyday. Technically I CAN, as in able to actively, walk out any time I please and never come back. However, my resume and bank account says I need a better plan.
The weekend news host who was nominated to be the new head of the US Department of Defense assured us all that he would quit drinking if his nomination is approved. Definite "I can quit any time I want" vibes, and about as reassuring.
I can quit anytime the long term consequences outweigh my immediate comfort.
We value your call.
"We value customers staying on hold so our understaffed call centre looks busier than it usually is."
"Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line until it is no longer important to you."
3 hours yesterday, on the phone waiting for someone at PRIORITY HEALTH (yes, name and shame) to answer my call because my payment, that I made online through their portal, wasn't posted 7 days later. And then, the phone system (?) hung up on me because the system shut down for the night. I officially hate them because I heard that probably 200 times while on hold.
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Corporate one -> ”If there are any questions, please don‘t hesitate to ask“.
the end of that statement is unspoken but it would be..."someone who actually cares. Now get back to work."
Also unspoken: "And if you DO, you will be mocked and derided for the rest of the time you work here as well as marked, if you disagree, as a 'troublemaker".
Load More Replies...That's because you didn't parse it correct. "If there are any questions. Please don't. Hesitate to ask."
Luckily, most communication is honest and most lies are told by a few prolific liars, said University of Wisconsin-La Crosse professor Dr. Tony Docan-Morgan, who co-authored the publication, "Unpacking variation in lie prevalence: Prolific liars, bad lie days, or both?”
The study analyzed 116,366 lies told by 632 participants over 91 consecutive days. Participants self-reported daily, and the data revealed that about 75% of them did not lie much—about zero to two lies per day. And most lies were inconsequential—little white lies, like saying you like a gift you really don't. Only a small group—6 % of respondents—had days in which they lied much more frequently, even though they had lower levels of lying on average.
51% of the time, people lied to their friends; 21% to family; 11% to school/business colleagues; 8.9% to strangers; and 8.5% to casual acquaintances.
I’m good.
I do it all the time and I’m sure everyone else does too. None of our lives are as put together as we’d like to let others believe, so we just lie and say we’re good and move on. It’s really sad in actuality.
Well, you have to know the other person. Do they REALLY want to hear, or being polite?
Once again, that is mostly focused to the US society where it is considered rude if you don't start every meeting with "how are you?" - "I'm fine, thanks, and you?", no matter if it's the car dealership guy or your best friend. Over here, strangers ask WAY less often how you are as flowers of speech (if they do though, it's the same búllshit white lie), but if my friends ask me how I am, they do get an answer, if they are ready for it or not.
Agreed there is too much toxic positivity in the US. It's not supposed to be very healthy.
Load More Replies...I do this even with my doctor. Every time she asks how I'm doing, I say "Eh, not bad" even for things like a kidney stone big enough to be surgically removed. She told me I'd probably say 'not bad' if I was actively dying, which...she's not wrong. It's just reflex at this point.
Your life is probably excellent when you compare it to third world countries. Simple things like having a pair of shoes means you are doing better then a lot of people. Dont like your trailer? Well you could be living in a mud hut. Start appreciating what you have instead of what you dont and you will end up much happier.
The alternative is saying something closer to the truth and having the other person react with such discomfort and/or judgement that you wish you had never started talking to them at all. At least that’s been my experience in a certain region of the US that is known for being allergic to emotions.
Well sometimes it's because what's going on is not really something you'd share with people you aren't close to.
Yes it is sad f**k being ok all the time.wtf is that I have s**t tomes.n.bad days n if i wana wax lyrical.i.shall do
I’ll be there in 5 minutes.
True for me...but, for my spouse? Nah. If he says this, he hasn't even left yet.
"Nah it didn't cost much".
"As I indicated, for some people, lying is a habit that they developed because of a long history of successful lying, getting what they wanted more often than not from lying," Dr. Johnson said. "A habitual liar has become very comfortable with their lying because it has been so successful."
"Donald Trump, who some claim has told more lies than any US President, may fall into this category. Everybody but everybody lies because that is part of human nature. I've certainly told my share of lies in my life. But I couldn't become a habitual liar because I have never felt comfortable with lying," he added.
“He will change”, “I can fix him”.
Women* marry thinking their husband* will change. Men* marry thinking their wife* will never change. *Insert your favorite pronouns here.
“I recently read somewhere that…”
Aka, saw something on an Instagram reel.
"I'll do it tomorrow.".
Especially with ADHD, you don’t do it until it becomes absolutely necessary.
Hahaahahaa ur dies come.eevry 24.hiura qe just mive it along the line.lol
Load More Replies...Always put off until tomorrow what you don't want to do today :)
In retirement, you can say this and nobody cares whether you actually do it the next day or not.
For example, Dr. Johnson recalled the time he strongly objected to claiming a son was a year younger than his actual age just to pay less money for a children's ticket. But people are different. "Many are perfectly comfortable with misrepresenting their age or the age of their children to get a discount on a ticket. We differ in our comfort levels with lying."
However, the psychologist reminded us there is also a class of people with personality disorders who enjoy lying to manipulate or even hurt others.
"There are three clusters of personality disorders: (A) Eccentric, (B) Dramatic, and (C) Fearful. For people with cluster B disorders (antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic), lying is a way of life," Dr. Johnson said. "People with cluster B disorders feel absolutely no remorse about lying and actually get a kick out of manipulating others, hurting them, or getting them into trouble with lies.
"Personality disorders are serious illnesses that exist on a continuum, from the full-blown clinical disorder to milder, sub-clinical cases. So, some people with a mild version of a cluster B disorder might enjoying lying once in a while because they think it's fun."
I will call u back.
If I say it, I do it. For me, it is essential that I keep my word, as when all is said and done, this tells of who I am.
If you leave a message I'l call yyou back. If not you'll never hear from me.
If it's not important enough to leave a message, why are you bothering me?
Load More Replies...
I was already awake.
"Did I wake you?" "No, I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."
"I promise I will return your money back.".
I've loaned annoying co-workers money in the past and someone will comment, "Why did you do that? "You will never see that money again" Exactly! That person will avoid me for several weeks or months. The best $10 I've ever spent!
"Neither a lender nor a borrower be..." When it comes to friends and family. Or, generally, just give an amount you can afford to never get back.
Lying has become such a big part of the world that RobDa59 isn't even sure how he would imagine everyday life if everybody suddenly stopped doing it.
"I do believe politics would be a lot different; but in an individual's daily life, it could lead to a lot of awkward situations!" he said.
I floss everyday!
I actually do floss everyday. I floss my teeth a couple times a week.
Just had a complete vision of Bluey and Bingo Flossing
Load More Replies...I do floss everyday. I find it a lot more effective than brushing.I do brush by the way; I just floss more than I brush.
“…till death do us part”.
Not really a lie. At the time people make their vows, I'm sure they mean it.
Well I certainly did, and so did my wife. Sadly we are now parted.
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“I’m not mad”.
I never say that. I freely admit that I am as mad as a cut snake
I'm as mad as a Fundamentalist preacher stuck in traffic behind a Gay Rights Parade.
It's not a bad thing to tell someone you're p1ssed off... It's how you say it and what you do with those feelings.
No, honey. You don't look fat in that...
Height (overstate)
Weight (understate).
Though the former gets understated by certain people who want to be seen as short, and the later overstated by those trying to hide a serious eating disorder...
I'm 1/8 native American.
If your ancestors were born in North America, that is a good possibility of it being true. if you're born in North America, and your parents were born here, and your grandparents and their parents, at this point you're a native to this land. You just aren't part of the Indigenous population.
Even using terms like indigenous instead of native doesn't really help. They mean basically the same thing, so not everyone will understand or agree with your differentiation of the two terms.
Load More Replies...My four grandparents all came to the US from Belfast, Ireland. That makes me 100% .. American.
There must have been millions of Cherokee princesses. Or a few very busy ones.
Load More Replies...I actually had a 60yr old guy differentiate an Asian Indian from Native American by going "not wooo,wooo" and patting his hand over his mouth.
I've heard someone try to clarify by asking "Dot or feather?"
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That they washed their hands after using the bathroom.
WHAT???? Ok seriously who lies about this. And please never never never touch me
What's worse is working for a doctor who doesn't ever wash his hands. DOES NOT. EVER.
Ugh! For the longest time, my grandma didn't make my cousin wash his hands after going to the bathroom. It was nasty.
It's not u, it's me.
I'm here for you.
I don't say things like this, don't tell someone I'll do something if it's likely I won't. However, you're seen as a hard faced bìtch, uncaring etc when you don't put on the act. Maybe there are people who prefer kind lies, I prefer to know where everyone truly stands and what I can expect.
Nah, I'd never lie about this. For a long time, I was my friend group's therapist and everyone came to me with their problems. It was exhausting, but I never lied about being there for them.
I think some people mean it honestly, usually it's followed up by checking in or with kind gestures...
"Just one more...".
For the city-dwellers: Sorry, I don't have any cash on me.
I was in the uk once and I pulled that, he pulled out a goddamn card reader
XD. Wow. The nice thing about UK, particularly in Manchester, that I noticed, is that the homeless and panhandlers don't approach you and beg, or get in your face and follow you. They're sitting on the sidewalk with a sign or just asking as you walk by. It's a sad sight to see. In Winnipeg, they go up to you while you're at the ATM in the mall. Some get pretty aggressive.
Load More Replies...Nope. 100% true 99% of the time. Why carry cash when every place accepts debit cards now?
If you want the lint covered nickel that will take me 2 days to find. Sure.
"Good to see you".
This one is BS in my opinion. If I meet up with friends, I genuinely want to see them, otherwise I'd tell them I'm out and, well, _not_ see them. So if I tell them it's good to see them, I mean it.
I saw someone today after too long and it was a genuine "good to see you."
“It’ll only take a minute”.
This is more a figure of speech than a lie. When has anyone told you "it'll only take a minute" and you actually believed it would only take a minute?
I'm allergic to latex.
How is that a lie? I am someone actually allergic to latex. But if it's about condoms, there are non-latex ones. I had to get my bf to use those. I also can't use those latex rubber gloves. The allergy comes active when the latex gets moistened. So, if I'm sweating, get water in the gloves, etc, my hands swell up, get bad hives all over and it can get really nasty because the itching is insatiable. Down in the nether regions, it just starts burning and itching. So, yeah, it is a real thing, people. But there are alternatives. I even can't use mouse pads and some computer mice have latex materials on them that also give my reactions.
I guess they (some) lie about it to try to get away from using a condom on their stick?
Load More Replies...I'm allergic to all pain medications except for this really powerful one.
“I’m proficient in Excel”.
I can make a nicely laid out, minimal, non-fussy, to the point, spreadsheet. In layman's terms, I can put words and numbers in the little boxes and put it in alphabetical order.
My ex, who actually is, learned the hard way a couple of jobs ago that you never, ever, ever tell anyone this. Especially your boss.
I fücking hate Excel. Honestly though, I pretty much hate Microsoft. It's software is only ubiquitous because it was the first (and therefore the business/office world snapped it up) not the best, as far as I can tell. IT folks, if you want to elaborate or educate here, please do.
I can use Excel... I've also used it for unusual applications I created myself.
The weight you put on your driver’s license.
You have to put your weight on them in some places? Do you have to keep updating it?
I've always found it perplexing that (at least in the US) politicians and pundits fuss over people changing the sex marker on them but everyone knows stuff like eye color, height, and weight are just entered in without question, so what purpose do any of those descriptors really serve?
I think (guess) that it was a counterfeiting deterrent back in the day when they used an actual photograph and glued it onto the printed license. So it was pretty easy to slice a picture off someone else's license and replace it with your own. Totally pointless now but probably not worth bothering to change the system.
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“He’s just a friend”.
Your food tastes amazing.
Acts are louder than words. Do they lick the plate and/or go for a second helping?
Load More Replies...Let me know if you need anything. I’m here to help.
Before they vanish off the face of the earth never to be seen or heard of again. Plenty of people offered their help when I was going through a particularly stressful and traumatic time. I don't usually like to ask anything of anyone but when I needed just the tiniest favour they all ran for the hills leaving me feeling like a nuisance and a burden.
"I’m omw" but they just woke up.
I stopped at that stop sign.
I stopped, but apparently not long enough, and the driving examiner failed me. Still bitter about it 45 years later.
Unless is was a "proper stop" using the handbrake and selecting netural gear. Then you didn't stop. Yep, you can tell my driving test was in the Army.
Load More Replies...I had 2 drinks.
One beer is not a beer. Two beers are a half beer. Three beers are one beer. But one beer is not a beer.
I just wanna be with you/I don’t fantasize about anyone else.
That’s the most common serious lie imo 🤷🏼♀️.
How do you not fantasize about other people must not have much of an imagination to begin with
“I only had 1 drink”…. Every male to their partner.
Nope. Of course, back during my drinking days, they were usually with me (and matching me drink for drink), so that would have been ridiculous.
I love you too.
Cracking your knuckles will give you arthritis. I can’t count how many times it’s said to me.
That's not so much a lie as just misinformation. Like "shaving makes your hair grow back thicker." Lots of people believe it, they're just wrong.
Load More Replies...I think the one I hate the MOST is when you haven't contacted someone in a "while" and they say, "Hey, I was just thinking about you..." Not sure why that one bothers me so much.
That’s a horrible thing to lie about. I don’t know how you *know* it’s a lie. But if it changes your perception at all, I will tell you I say this to my friends often because it is 100% a fact. I will think about someone I haven’t heard from in a long time and within a day or two I get a text. Not magically - but it happens a lot.
Load More Replies...So I type fast amd it doesn't come put perfect oh jow I yearn t please all u square f***s oh belive me I'm human just we ain't on the same level quite clearly.... so disappointing you all are boring
Yes I gwtvu thanks for all.thw down votes u sad a*s haters I did agree with ir opinions amd I don't downvote some.humans yep all yall whi down voted me are weak asses truly are pathetic
Cracking your knuckles will give you arthritis. I can’t count how many times it’s said to me.
That's not so much a lie as just misinformation. Like "shaving makes your hair grow back thicker." Lots of people believe it, they're just wrong.
Load More Replies...I think the one I hate the MOST is when you haven't contacted someone in a "while" and they say, "Hey, I was just thinking about you..." Not sure why that one bothers me so much.
That’s a horrible thing to lie about. I don’t know how you *know* it’s a lie. But if it changes your perception at all, I will tell you I say this to my friends often because it is 100% a fact. I will think about someone I haven’t heard from in a long time and within a day or two I get a text. Not magically - but it happens a lot.
Load More Replies...So I type fast amd it doesn't come put perfect oh jow I yearn t please all u square f***s oh belive me I'm human just we ain't on the same level quite clearly.... so disappointing you all are boring
Yes I gwtvu thanks for all.thw down votes u sad a*s haters I did agree with ir opinions amd I don't downvote some.humans yep all yall whi down voted me are weak asses truly are pathetic
