Have you ever found yourself in the “you have to save money” and “treat yourself” limbo? If you have, you might take comfort in knowing that you are definitely not alone. Arguably especially relevant for young adults, who are trying to create a life for themselves, at the same time trying to actually enjoy living life, such a limbo can feel really draining.

Take something fun, like a concert or traveling, for instance. Both might be quite costly, but on the other hand, you will never be this young again, so what better time is there to enjoy one or the other? (Or both?)

For many, feeling torn between saving money and ‘living life’ results in them looking for middle ground – buying the cheapest concert ticket, for instance, or looking for affordable ways to get from point A to point B. But the former might result in a seat with no visibility whatsoever and the latter – sleeping in airports, neither of which make the two experiences any more enjoyable.

Be it traveling, a concert, or anything else, for that matter, it’s important to think long and hard about what it is that you want and if it’s worth spending your money on. In many cases, it is, so you can go ahead and treat yourself; but when it’s not, taking a moment to think about it can really help minimize unnecessary spending.

Discussing unnecessary spending, the personal finance expert Julia Chung pointed out that the things we tend to regret buying are the stuff that isn’t aligned with our values; like visiting a place we didn’t even want to go to or dining in a restaurant with people we don’t like. Thinking things through beforehand might help avoid such situations.

The expert continued to note that there is no ‘one right way’ to spend your money other than a way that is aligned with your values and your goals for the future.

Just like there is no right way to spend money, there is no one right way to save money, either – while some tips and tricks regarding saving can be helpful to many, what works for one person may not necessarily work for another.

Discussing advice for those struggling to save money, Julia Chung emphasized that it’s important not to beat yourself up about it. “Sometimes we're struggling to save money because we just don't have enough,” she told Bored Panda. “I've read enough personal finance media, books, texts to know that what people hear all the time is that it's some kind of moral failing on our part if we can't save money. It's not. The first thing to do is to stop beating yourself up.”

“The second piece of advice is to be realistic: Do you actually have enough to save?” Chung continued. “Sometimes you do because you've been spending on things you don't even care about. Sometimes you do because there are changes you've been wanting to make in big places like the cost of your housing and transportation that you just haven't pulled the trigger on.

“It's not coffee or avocado toast that is getting you in financial trouble, by the way. It's larger expenses, whether housing, transportation, holidays, and so on, that really make it tough,” the expert added.

“Other times, you simply don't have enough,” Chung noted. “You may be in a low-paying job in an expensive part of the world and you are scraping your way up. You might be a single parent just trying to get through each month with enough food in the pantry. Those are really good reasons to not have enough to save. It doesn't mean you never will, but it might mean you don't right now.

“I often tell parents of very young children that if you can save anything during those first 7 or so years, I'm impressed with you. Reduced income, increased housing and childcare and living expenses all combine to make those times in your life really tough.”

During times when it’s difficult or impossible to save up money, it might be good to try and imagine when such tough times might end, Chung suggests. “Plan for those. What will you do when you get there? Yes, you might increase your lifestyle a bit – that's fair. [But] consider splitting the additional money between improved lifestyle and savings, so that you get to enjoy your life now as well as in the future.”