Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. The pressure society puts on moms is unbelievable. Expecting moms are told countless ways how they “should" give birth, feed their baby, build their career, promote a healthy relationship with the baby, and so on and so on. Meanwhile, moms who delivered a baby are expected to “get back on track,” meaning life, work, family duties, body shape and size should be the way society wants. If not, many moms feel like they failed, hence self-worth problems and even depression may emerge.

This survey commissioned by TIME found that half of 913 new mothers that participated had experienced regret, shame, guilt or anger, mostly due to unexpected complications and lack of support. And that’s not all.

More than 70% felt pressured to do things a certain way. More than half said a natural birth was extremely or very important, yet 43% wound up needing drugs or an epidural, and 22% had unplanned C-sections. Breastfeeding, too, proved a greater challenge than anticipated. Out of the 20% who planned to breastfeed for at least a year, fewer than half actually did.

The majority of mothers in the survey pointed to “society in general” as the source of the pressure, followed by doctors and other mothers. Sadly, this has become the new norm and not many women dare to publicly talk about it in fear of being dubbed “selfish” and “not good enough.”

So no wonder so many women these days choose to stay single and/or childfree. Contrary to common belief, a new study found child-free people are as happy as parents, with the authors surprised by just how many men and women indicated they didn’t want to have kids. The result follows the larger trend of Americans having fewer children in general: the U.S. birth rate fell to a record low last year and there could be 300,000 to 500,000 fewer births in 2021, according to some estimates.

So to find out more about why more and more women consciously decide to opt out from parenthood, we spoke with the relationship coach Jane Parker. “I think there are many possible reasons and each woman who chooses to be childfree and/or single has a unique reason for themselves,” she told Bored Panda.

Parker explained that some women realize that their career is more important to them than having children or getting married. “Devoting your life to caring for another is a very big choice to make, and not all women want to commit to that. Life without children can create more ease for adventure, unlimited possibilities, and freedom of choice.”

Another reason may be finances. “Maybe some women just love the idea of only needing to think and take care of only themselves and aren't willing to make the sacrifices that parenting requires,” Parker said.The relationship coach said that childfree women may not want the responsibility of raising a child or, quite simply, “they love their life exactly how it is and don't want to change it to fit around a child.”