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“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Maya Angelou uttered those words over two decades ago, but they will always ring true. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to see someone’s true colors, especially if you consider them to be a friend.

Redditors have recently been recalling times when they realized that a “friend” wasn’t actually who they thought they were, so we’ve gathered some of their most heartbreaking tales below. We sincerely hope that you can’t relate to any of these experiences, pandas. But if you can, remember that you deserve to have amazing friendships and that you can always cut out relationships that aren’t serving you. Keep reading to find a conversation with the user who started this thread, and be sure to upvote the stories that resonate with you.

#1

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds When he threw a unopened can of coke at a homeless person. Stopped being his friend right then and there and I took the homeless women to get food and gave her money to go get replacement clothes from goodwill. I've never been so ashamed of someone before or after that.

davethapeanut , Olena Bohovyk/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#2

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds He was a co-worker that hadn’t been on the job long and I was tasked with training him. We worked a service route driving from job to job. He was in his van following me and I passed a turtle in the middle of the road on the painted line. I looked back in my rear view mirror in time to see him purposely swerve and run over the turtle. A*****e!

Santatim_NC , Magda Ehlers/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#3

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds He explained to me, after the George Floyd protests, that the outcome of the Civil War was wrong, and that Covid was the fault of black people. Never heard any kind of trash like that from him over twenty years. I stood up, told him I would never darken his threshold again and that we were through as friends. I’ve kept my word.

Pusfilledonut , Mental Health America (MHA)/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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To find out how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Just_want_advice_7, who invited others to share stories about their former friendships. The author was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss how this thread came to be.

"I don’t know what really inspired me to ask this question," they shared. "I was in bed, sleepy and bored, so I thought, 'Why not ask this question?' I even realized later the next day that I didn’t type it well because I was almost half asleep."

#4

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds I'd always bought my best friend lunch in high school, Like everyday. Every when he had detention, I'd come by and drop him off food. This one week, I lost my wallet, so no money. Surprisingly he he had money that week I didn't have money. I asked him if he could get me lunch and straight up said no. I thought he was joking and then he just bought food and ate by himself. Made me really think people can be so greedy to their best friend. I stopped hanging out with him after that, and I didn't buy him food anymore.

(He didn't steal my wallet it was at my grandma's house.).

DivineArcade1 , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#5

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds My friend owns a very popular food truck in the south. She’s netting a half a million a year in revenue. She needed help for a big event, so I went down and worked for her this past July. I worked with one of her regular employees and I asked how the tips were usually split up. The girl told me that my friend keeps every single tip, and that she’s never seen one. This girl is 20 years old and in college and my friend is still taking the few hundred bucks from her. That money is a drop in the bucket for my friend, but life changing for that girl. At that point I realized true greed. Haven’t talked to her since.

missmorganadams , RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#6

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds Left his wife and kids because he was in love with my wife, who wasn't interested in him at all. Then literally never saw his kids again and gave up all parental rights. Her next husband, also a friend of mine, adopted them and has been a great dad.

Pure_Mammoth_1233 , Mikhail Nilov/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Unfortunately, the OP shared that they know how it feels to realize that a friend isn't a good person.

"I had an experience with a friend recently, she was a friend of 6 years," they told Bored Panda. "She was very dear to me, but suddenly, when I started university, she ghosted me then blocked me for no reason. That’s when I started realizing the red flags she had during our friendship."

#7

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds Going on our 30th year of being friends. Dating back to meeting in boot camp and years together afterwards in navy commands.

He became a US Marshall, early 2002, and it’s now 2020 and the riots were going strong.

I asked him some questions to learn about what the law enforcement community opinions were about the riots.

He said, and I quote, “all black people are f*****g animals!”

I told him we could not be friends anymore and blocked him.

Tollin74 , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#8

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds I started dating a really nice girl who worked in a jewelry store. After three or four dates, she told me that my roommate and supposed friend had stopped by the store to tell her my dad was an alcoholic. Which was true, but we both thought it was crude and strange that he did that.
I dumped him and married her. Still married 40 years later.

p38-lightning , Maksim Goncharenok/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Kari Panda
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is nice ^^ Not bexause of the roommate‘s betrayal obviously, but because OP‘s girlfriend had the courage and decency to talk to OP about it.

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#9

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds He called his wife a c**t, to her face, in my house.

I told him “you’re not gonna call her a c**t in my house.”.

Citadel_97E , Ron Lach/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Nina
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP added in a later comment that she was beaten down in her marriage and abused horribly

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Just_want_advice_7 also noted that the replies to their post made them realize how often people get betrayed by their friends. And finally, they shared some advice for readers. "The moment you realize your friend is using you or isn’t a good person, stop being friends with them before it’s too late," the author told Bored Panda.

#10

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds That time he told me my trans cousin should be shot and it didn’t even occur to him that that’s my cousin. He said it like I was just meant to agree with him like “oh hey, this is what us regular people think when there’s no weirdos around, right?”

Haven’t spoken to him since.

Edit: the icing on the cake is how he just moved on to a different topic as though he didn’t just tell me he thought a member of my family should be executed cuz pronouns or something.

TheOtherJohnson , Anna Tarazevich/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#11

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds When she and another friend of hers were mad at this guy they knew and she told me they were planning to sneak over to his house and “k*ll his dog” for revenge. (I don’t think they ever did it honestly but yeah, what a crazy b***h).

AlexAA72 , Hoy/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#12

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds I had a miscarriage, and in response to that news my best friend attached pictures of her own three-month-old baby, ostensibly to cheer me up, at the end of her condolence email (we had grown up together but settled in different cities). I was so stunned by this that I wasn't sure how to address it; I thought she had perhaps attached the pictures by mistake? She was after all my best friend of many years, so surely she wouldn't have been so insensitive-- so I didn't reply. For the sake of loving her, and I wanted to continue to love her, I decided it wasn't deliberate, but it was quite hurtful and it stayed on my mind.

At our next in-person visit, a few months later, she brought up that she had had the idea to send me the baby pictures but thought it "might hurt my feelings," but also that her baby "was just so cute!" so she asked her husband, a psychologist, if it would be cruel. He reassured her it would be fine, so she attached them. I was even more shocked by this revelation-- I could forgive thoughtlessness, but to have her say to my face that she'd thought it could hurt me, but went looking for permission to do it anyway because her baby was cute? Nah. It ended our friendship.

Osfees , Thirdman/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Multa Nocte
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't imagine any legitimate psychologist saying this was OK.

Cari Owens
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The psychologist is the real AH. "Sure, go ahead and remind your best friend that she lost her baby. No biggie." The guy should have his licence revoked if he could be THAT callous.

DrBronxx
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not a chance her friend asked her husband about, because no psychologist would ever say it's fine. She was just trying to shift the blame.

BugABoo
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This psychologist reminds me of people who are pro life, but when a women miscarries they say they need to get over it and try again.

michele mbennett101044@yahoo.c
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Complete insensitive b***h and unqualified "psychologist" husband. Neither worthy of your time or attention. I would register a complaint against him for giving such advise, what a douchbag.

Jacquie Carr
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep; it's not the pictures is the whole mindf*** behind it that's crazy

CBolt
Community Member
4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1st of all, she shouldn't have had to ask anybody if it would be insensitive & cruel but a psychologist telling her it would be fine is almost beyond belief.

Sandra Romanowska
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So she wasn't sure, she asked, someone else told here to do this and you punished her. Grow up.

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#14

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds He slept with my girlfriend, and they both gaslit me telling me it wasnt a big deal “she didnt think of me as her bf in her head”

And then sometime later she cheated on him and he was surprised…..

Honest-Advisegiver , Tope A. Asokere/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Andy Pandy
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there, except he slept with my wife and he regretted it! Seen him once in 15 years even though we live in the same town and he actually hid in a shop from me behind a rack of clothes, loser.

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#15

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds They were screaming in my face repeatedly that my dead mom is still alive in heaven after I had nicely asked them not to say that to me. Edit: my best friend from pre k until I was 22.

444jxrdan444 , Aynur Latfullin/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#16

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds When he straight lifted up his girlfriends shirt and bra while we were all chilling at another friend's house exposing her to all like 5 of us hanging out.

MountainDrew757 , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Susie Elle
Community Member
2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holy s**t, that's assault. Oh my god, what an absolute insanely vile thing to do.

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#17

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds We walked past the gay pub in town and he ran up to it, opened the door and shouted “f**g*ts”!!

Twat.

SnoopyLupus , Lorna Pauli/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Alexandra
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's so childish. I expect the people in the pub are used to this kind of thing or perhaps even worse, but still. So juvenile and ignorant.

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#18

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds We lived in the same dorm and worked at the same place. I gave him a ride to work daily because he didn't have a car for a few months. The thought never occurred to me to ask for money because it I was going there anyway...why would I? He got a car and my car broke down. I asked for a ride. He asks me for gas money.

twelveparsnips , Tobi/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Steïcy Gya
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have asked him for a refund for all of the days he was in my car.

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#19

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds When I got a big promotion at work and she said “what, did no one else want it or something?” Knew right then she didn’t think I was deserving or qualified. Really took the wind out of my sails. She was one of the first people I told because I was excited about it.

BRCRN , John Diez/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#20

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds We went out clubbing and I happened to come across and old friend. She later was making jokes about him being “ugly” and “looking like an alien.” He was a burn victim and she knew that. She would also park in the handicapped spots when she had no disabilities. She then leaked my phone number online having people harass me and thought she was doing something by dating my abusive ex bf. They lasted two weeks.

angel_bunny444 , Monstera Production/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Margot Plummer
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't her parking in the handicapped spots when she had no disabilities illegal?

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#21

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds My best friend since 4th grade. We were inseparable, even when we grew up and had families of our own.
Then, one day, his wife told me a story about his time in art school.
He didn't go to art school. I did. It was my story.
He co-opted my life to his wife.
And while it was insignificant as an overall lie, it was still a lie that he never corrected or confessed to her.
I never looked at him the same. It changed who he was to me forever.

Darkm0or , RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#22

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds They constantly downplay whatever it is you're sharing - life problems, emotions, general concerns etc. It was a sad realization.

Helpfoolness , Juan Pablo Serrano/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#23

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds Not really a friend. Rather his mother.

When I was kid I used to hang out all the time with another kid whose mother was sort of the stereotypical Italian mother. Way too involved, a bit of a smotherer. But she seemed nice.

Once I stopped around his house (this was the 80s, so no cell phones) and he & his family wasn't home, but some other kids across the street called me over & I started hanging out with them. Fast forward an hour or so and the friend who wasn't home comes home with his parents. The mom comes over and invites me in their house to play Atari or something like that.

The other kids weren't invited, and it seemed rude to ditch the other kids, so guilt kicked in and I declined. Just seemed like the right thing to do, but friend's mom apparently took this as a slight. To teach me a lesson, she then ordered a pizza and when it arrived invited all the kids in their house - except me. Obviously the other kids went for the pizza and I got ditched, for trying to do the right thing.

I was so hurt by it I refused to hang out with her son again and that was pretty much the end of our friendship.

Pixelated_Penguin808 , Polina Tankilevitch/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Lyoness
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

TF was wrong with that woman? You don't punish a kid for a perceived slight by turning around and excluding them in retaliation. That's the behaviour of a toddler.

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#24

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds When I spent £100 on their birthday and they wouldn’t buy me a 69p drink.

bingusmadfut , Matthias Zomer/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Shark queen 🦈🦈🦈
Community Member
2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I looked up the conversion rate every 100p is equal to £1. I don't like your *ex*friend. (For further clarification, I am aware of how the metric system works. I just was not aware of how it worked for money because I only use it for science)

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#25

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds She talked poorly about every single person she knew/met.

spicymeatball707 , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Multa Nocte
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's interesting that people who speak poorly of others are just unwittingly revealing themselves. Sort of a "Shine the mirror on others so you won't see me" thing.

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#26

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds He was caught stealing from another friend and instead of even pretending to apologize, he came up with a convoluted excuse to justify it.

Hrekires , Анна Хазова/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#27

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds They purposely embarrass you in front of others, then expect you to get over it. They bully other people. (This was HS).

Individual_Phone_152 , Anna Shvets/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Alexandra
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As soon as someone tells you 'to get over it' that's your cue to re-evaluating your friendship.

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#28

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds Myself and a friend walked down an alley in the night and saw a drunkard pass out on steps, he looked in poor condition so I said nothing and friend said " we could rob this man and we would never be found out". So I say "don't be stupid, look at man's coat, he is veteran. Would not have much anyway". But he insisted and say "we can sell the medals". I felt disgusted, told that I do not want to see his face around our block again and that he no longer part of my friends. To be fair, we were hungry and desperate but I will not rob veteran of he's medals.

Kapitan_Borris , Arlind D/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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#29

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds Less than 24 hours after having a brain tumor removed, he called and wanted me to bring him some weed.

esp735 , Anna Shvets/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

#30

“I've Never Been So Ashamed”: 30 Moments That Turned Friends To Strangers In Seconds When everything was a competition.

chocolatechipninja , George Milton/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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Lyoness
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there. Ours was the opposite of a normal one up, though. If I was struggling with something, she'd had the same issue and it was worse for her. Bloody exhausting.

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