Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

“What In The Psychological Horror?”: Woman Is Expected To Replace Late Sister As BIL’s New Wife
935

“What In The Psychological Horror?”: Woman Is Expected To Replace Late Sister As BIL’s New Wife

Interview With Expert  “What In The Psychological Horror?”: Woman Is Expected To Replace Late Sister As BIL’s New WifeWoman Is In Shock After Her Family Pressures Her To Marry Her Late Sister’s HusbandWoman Loses Her Sister, Family Thinks She Should Take Her Place As Wife And Mom “My Mum Wants Me To Marry My Dead Sister’s Husband”Woman Passes Away Leaving Husband And Kids, Widower Wants To Replace Her With Her Sister“Did You Time Travel Back To The Middle Ages?”: Family Wants Woman To Marry Dead Sister’s HusbandWoman Left In Absolute Shock After Family Tells Her To Marry Her Dead Sister's HusbandFamily Thinks Daughter Should Marry Late Sister's Husband Since She's Her 'Carbon Copy'Woman Feels Uncomfortable Around Late Sister's Husband, Her Mom Wants Her To Marry Him
ADVERTISEMENT

Losing a family member can turn your world upside down in an instant. Suddenly, you have to navigate the world shrouded in a thick cloud of grief, being expected to make rational decisions and continue on with your life while all you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.

It’s completely understandable to say or do things that are a bit out of character while grieving, but one woman’s family has definitely crossed the line when it comes to what’s appropriate. Below, you’ll find a story that this woman recently posted on Reddit, detailing how she’s been told to marry her late sister’s husband, as well as a conversation with Andy Langford, clinical director at Cruse Bereavement Support

Losing a loved one can turn your entire world upside down

Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)

Following her sister’s death, this woman was disgusted by her family’s suggestion to marry her brother-in-law

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: voronaman111 / envato (not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Positive-Mirror3791

Later, the woman responded to readers and provided even more information on the situation

ADVERTISEMENT

Losing a spouse can take a huge toll on a person

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo)

To learn more about the toll it takes on a person to lose a spouse, we reached out to Andy Langford, clinical director at Cruse Bereavement Support. Andy was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and explain how devastating it is to lose a spouse or partner.

ADVERTISEMENT

“There is a considerable emotional load – it’s usual to feel low in mood, anxious, angry, insecure, and to be left wondering why this has happened,” he explained. “There are also so many practical considerations. Many bereaved people in such a situation come to Cruse and talk with us about the financial strain that this leaves them in. Issues around housing are also often present.”

“Childcare or care for elderly parents are also serious issues, that are often overlooked by those who are in the wider community of the bereaved person, and so it’s vital to consider everyone who has experienced the loss,” Andy continued. “Childcare and care for other dependents can also put the bereaved person’s job at risk, if all together these considerations become unmanageable.  That’s why it’s important to seek support from friends, family and our wider communities, as well as services, if need be.”

“For many of us, when we are grieving – particularly soon after the death of someone close – we can find it difficult to think clearly”

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Andrew Neel / pexels (not the actual photo)

It’s best to keep an eye on our loved ones while they grieve to ensure they’re safe and supported. “Ultimately, if after experiencing the death of someone close, the grieving person does something that is either harmful to themselves or harmful to others, then it may or may not be to do with the death itself,” Andy says. “However, whatever the situation, it is advisable to contact emergency services or another support service for support. It is important to make sure that any risk is mitigated for the benefit of all concerned.”

It’s also crucial to understand that each person’s grief experience is unique, and it can change over time. “However, for many of us, when we are grieving – particularly soon after the death of someone close – we can find it difficult to think clearly,” Andy shared. “This is because of the emotional load we often have to bear.  Many bereaved people describe this as feeling like you have a ‘foggy head’ or ‘foggy brain.'”

“Grief can also affect us physically, resulting in us feeling slowed up, exhausted and either sleepy or not able to settle and sleep,” the expert says. “This, however, does not usually mean that when we grieve we are not rational. It means that when we have experienced a bereavement, we find it most helpful to be able to speak with someone we trust when we need to, and also have space when we need this as well. Both help us get the head space we need, to think more clearly.”

ADVERTISEMENT

“All of the weight of one person’s role pressed on to someone else isn’t helpful to all concerned”

Image credits: Deesha Chandra / pexels (not the actual photo)

Grieving doesn’t mean that we ‘act out of character.’ However it does mean that some of the emotions we tend to keep private or hold down, can come to the surface,” Andy explained. “It’s important to give someone the space to talk, cry and feel how they feel, whilst also conveying that we are there to help and support.”

When it comes to this particular situation, Andy says, “It’s not helpful to ask someone, in this way, to step into the role of the person who has died. There may be functions that the person who has died used to fulfil, that others may need to step into and support (childcare is a good example for many families who experience the death of a parent of grandparent). However, essentially trying to replace the entire role of one person with another person is not a good idea.”

ADVERTISEMENT

“If we’ve lost someone close, we need to grieve them as a unique person,” the expert noted. “We also need to work out what life is going to be like without the presence of them around us. This means drawing people in collectively. All of the weight of one person’s role pressed on to someone else isn’t helpful to all concerned, and would probably increase the chance of diminished mental and physical wellbeing for the person being or feeling pressured.”

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. What would you do if you were in this woman’s shoes? Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing family drama, look no further than right here.

Readers shared their concern for the woman and urged her to get out of this situation

ADVERTISEMENT
Ic_polls

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

Share on Facebook
Adelaide Ross

Adelaide Ross

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Read less »
Adelaide Ross

Adelaide Ross

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

Read less »

Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

What do you think ?
Add photo comments
POST
athornedrose
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

all of this from the mother makes more sense when you say she's mentally ill but "cured" by religion. there is no cure for scizophrenia, just maintenance to help manage it with therapy and medication. why everyone else is on board, i have no idea. but holy cow.

Mrs. Ginger McSarcasm
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a Mormon: THIS WOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED NORMAL TO ANY OF US. These people are crazy. It is NOT a religious thing. We absolutely support our family as much as we can, but not to that degree.

Jeanette Thompson
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It would only be 'normal' in one of the cults and I'm not sure how many of the polygamy cults still exist.

Load More Replies...
Mike Loux
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus F*****g Christ, what kind of Stepford Handmaids Tale a*s s**t is this? Move across the country. Get restraining orders against everyone except your grandparents and late sister's kids. Block those same people.

Load More Comments
athornedrose
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

all of this from the mother makes more sense when you say she's mentally ill but "cured" by religion. there is no cure for scizophrenia, just maintenance to help manage it with therapy and medication. why everyone else is on board, i have no idea. but holy cow.

Mrs. Ginger McSarcasm
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a Mormon: THIS WOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED NORMAL TO ANY OF US. These people are crazy. It is NOT a religious thing. We absolutely support our family as much as we can, but not to that degree.

Jeanette Thompson
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It would only be 'normal' in one of the cults and I'm not sure how many of the polygamy cults still exist.

Load More Replies...
Mike Loux
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus F*****g Christ, what kind of Stepford Handmaids Tale a*s s**t is this? Move across the country. Get restraining orders against everyone except your grandparents and late sister's kids. Block those same people.

Load More Comments
You May Like
Related on Bored Panda
Related on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda