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Mom Shares What She Does So Her 12-Year-Old Daughter Won’t Get Bullied
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Mom Shares What She Does So Her 12-Year-Old Daughter Won’t Get Bullied

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It can be easy to forget just how merciless and cruel kids can be when it comes to bullying. Every difference might be mocked, putting every child who doesn’t completely conform to some imagined norm in the crosshairs of a few abusers. Fortunately, many parents are waking up to these dangers.

One mom went viral on TikTok for sharing how she shaves her daughter’s eyebrows and upper lip hair after being bullied over it as a child. Viewers quickly resonated with her solid parenting skills and the good conversations she had with her child about bullying.
Bored Panda has reached out to Vidya Gopalan for comment by email.

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    Kids will bully their peers over the most minor details

    Image credits: queencitytrends

    A mom helped her daughter shave her eyebrows and upper lip to make sure other kids don’t make fun of her

    Image credits: queencitytrends

    Mother: I remember getting made fun of when I was your age.

    Daughter: Why didn’t you do the same?

    Mother: Because my mom wouldn’t let me.

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    Image credits: queencitytrends

    Image credits: queencitytrends

    You can watch the full video here (1/3)

    Image credits: queencitytrends

    Mother: Why do you hate haircuts?

    Daughter: I look older with my hair like this.

    Image credits: queencitytrends

    Mother: If someone were to say something like not nice, what would you do?

    Daughter: I would go away from them and say I don’t want to be your friend, or I could just say it back to them.

    Mother: When they go low, you go high.

    Daughter: Oh, I like that!

    Image credits: queencitytrends

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    You can watch the full video here (2/3)

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    Image credits: queencitytrends

    Image credits: queencitytrends

    Image credits: queencitytrends

    You can watch the full video here (3/3)

    Physical differences are a common target for bullies

    Research shows that while the characteristics of bullying victims might differ based on the age and gender groups involved, the mother in the video is correct that specific physical differences are often enough. While there are “obvious” physical differences that are stereotypically associated with being bullied, i.e. being overweight and wearing glasses, for example, it’s important to note that if a person wants to be a bully, they will find a reason.

    This is particularly cruel, as the victims tend to develop particularly low self-esteem and often end up with body-related issues for the parts of themselves that they were bullied for. While from a distance, it might seem absurd, as often enough, the features being mocked are both common and natural, but children, in particular, are vulnerable, as they do not have a frame of reference to process the attacks.

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    The mom in the TikTok video does a good job of identifying this and also makes sure to educate her daughter on why. Bushy eyebrows are incredibly common, not just among Indians, yet are still a common target for abuse. The abundance of eyebrow care equipment available in stores should be a good indicator that this feature can be found almost anywhere, although a child can be forgiven for not knowing. Similarly, upper lip hair is found among basically all humans, yet is only acceptable, in some cases, for men.

    Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

    Victims often suffer from various disorders later in life as a result of being bullied

    The mom also does an excellent job of explaining why they are going through all of these cosmetic procedures, despite the fact that hair on the body is normal. This is vital, as it both educates a child, which is a big part of good parenting, and explains to her why they are taking certain actions. The lesson shouldn’t be “give in to a bully’s demands at all costs,” but the mother has experience with specific traits being mocked.

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    While, ideally, bullying should be prevented at the source, there is no harm in taking precautions, particularly when they come from real-life experience. Victims of bullying are more likely to deal with eating disorders, anxiety, body dysmorphia, and a whole host of other psychological ailments. It’s probably a lot easier to simply trim some eyebrows as a bit of mother-daughter bonding than risk any and all of these issues in the future.

    There still are some old-fashioned beliefs that the best way to stop bullying is to become “immune,” meaning that kids should be left to deal with bullies themselves. While it’s true that both being a bully and a victim are both correlated with poorer social skills, it’s incredibly short-sighted to expect literal children to be able to process what is happening, protect themselves, and formulate a defense all on their own. If a young girl is being bullied over the hair on her upper lip, how exactly is she supposed to understand that this is normal and internalize that effectively? Ultimately, researchers believe that good conflict resolution skills are not the same as the skills needed to counteract bullying, so kids do need to be protected whenever possible.

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    Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

    Viewers shared their appreciation for how this mom was protecting her child

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    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Read less »
    Justin Sandberg

    Justin Sandberg

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

    Read less »

    Justinas Keturka

    Justinas Keturka

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

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    Royal Stray
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Finally someone who agrees that it's just as normal to have hair as it is to want to remove it. Without blaming it on society and gender norms. I just like shaving for my own sake and not some sort of built in misogyny it's a personal preference. This mom is handling it in the exact right way

    Anony Mouse
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now instead of just friends and classmates seeing this, the entire internet can give her attention. Lord, save these poor children from their narcissistic parents. This post should be removed for a) exploiting a child and b) being an awful tiktok.

    Isabella
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So she does not want to have her daughter bullied because of the facial hair, but she is posting on Tik Tok how she is removing it? Not the smartest things to do.

    Load More Comments
    Royal Stray
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Finally someone who agrees that it's just as normal to have hair as it is to want to remove it. Without blaming it on society and gender norms. I just like shaving for my own sake and not some sort of built in misogyny it's a personal preference. This mom is handling it in the exact right way

    Anony Mouse
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now instead of just friends and classmates seeing this, the entire internet can give her attention. Lord, save these poor children from their narcissistic parents. This post should be removed for a) exploiting a child and b) being an awful tiktok.

    Isabella
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So she does not want to have her daughter bullied because of the facial hair, but she is posting on Tik Tok how she is removing it? Not the smartest things to do.

    Load More Comments
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