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No matter who you are or what you see and hear on social media, there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent. Let’s repeat that so everyone in the back hears it, too: There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent! Absolutely everyone makes mistakes—they’re a part of the process. And there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to raising kids well.
You can tell a lot about a person by how they react to any mishaps you make or when they do something different than you. Some will be supportive or offer useful advice, while others reveal themselves to be incredibly judgmental and beyond critical. To show you what we mean, we’ve collected some of the worst stories about parents getting ‘mom shamed’ by others, as shared in an online thread. Scroll down for a crash course in how not to treat other parents.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
For having my two year old son on a toddler leash (cute backpack that looks like a rocket). He's a fast little fellow who doesn't understand not to run off or in front of cars, and I'm too pregnant to chase him.
Some guy came up to me at the grocery store and said, "You have him on a leash like a dog?!"
I just said, "Yup!" and kept walking.
Not giving my time to such judgy jerks.
Gingersnap In Iowa 8 months ago
I used a toddler leash on my son. People either gave me encouragement or grief.
Ms.GB 8 months ago (edited)
My Grandma was like "I think they're wonderful! I would've had your father on a leash if they had them back in my day." 😆
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Jungle Empress 85 8 months ago
I have neither a child nor a dog, but I always assumed one would leash a toddler for the same reason dogs are leashed. It's better than having your child/dog suddenly run out onto a busy street.
V 8 months ago
We did because our kid walked fairly early and it was killing our backs leaning sideways to hold their hand because they were so short. The backpack was a fuzzy monkey and was like being cuddled bya soft toy, and gave a sense of independence. Absolutely no downside to them.
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Edda Kamphues 8 months ago
Better a living child in a leash than a dead one running free. I had one for my daughter because she thought it was funny when I ran after her.
Pamela Carter 8 months ago
I had one for our third son. He walked at 7 months and could outrun and Olympic sprinter. At 2 he pulled loose from my Mom and was almost hit by a car. One of my grandsons was similar. For some kids that tether is a matter of life or death. Little kids are curious and don’t always think before they do! Make no mistake—these are usually very smart kids, just too little to see the danger. The grandson got out of the house so much they had to add a deadbolt lock that used a key on the inside. I really think of that tether as an umbilical cord—not a leash. It is a life saving measure. BTW—my tethered tot is now an attorney with a law degree from Duke with an escape artist of his own!
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Cee Cee 8 months ago
Yeah the leash. My sister was a bolter. We were walking through Rome airport back in the late '50's. My dad had her on reins. She slipped out and legged it. She disappeared and the flight down to Uganda had to be delayed. Retrieved from the airport kitchens where the Italian chefs were feeding her scrambled eggs!
Glen Ellyn 8 months ago
Wow. That's quite an adventure she had. Still scary, though.
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Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Hell yes I’m in the uk n 60 yrs old I remember this as clear as day bloody awful it was , they do also keep em safe from scum as wants to abduct the kids to , I’ve never forgotten about it n I had my kids at 35-39 n I gotta say it made me a very observant parent n reins where a must once they started walking
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Sally Horrocks 8 months ago
I walk my dogs on a lead to keep them safe, surely children deserve the same?
Kristin 8 months ago
Please don't judge me but I was the jerk that would give side eye when I seen kids on leashes. That was before I had my daughter and then it was then I realized why people had them. Not only for the kiddos who are quick but the world we live in isn't safe and so many kids are getting taken with their parents right next to them. I've seen way too many videos of people trying to take kids from a table at a restaurant or the buggy at the store. My daughter is 15 now and I'm still so scared when she's not near me or in my eyesight. I have so much anxiety when she goes with her dad cause I'm not there and I know how he is. So this is a huge sorry to the parents I offended 😕
ILoveMySon 8 months ago
Exactly. My cousin was a very rambunctious. My aunt would use one and tie it to a long rope when he played outside because at THREE, he drove her car into a ditch. In those days keys were left in the ignition. Where was she? She went inside to use the toilet quickly. The local police officer told her to get a tether.
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#2
Some people- and it always seems to be older women- just love to comment/criticize. The two nastiest comments I've gotten are about how I let my daughter walk everywhere (what else would I do?) and that she shouldn't be playing in the dirt because it wasn't ladylike (ma'am she one, nothing about her is ladylike, and also she loves dirt and rocks).
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
And flower perfume 😋 mud pies , ooo I feel old now lmao those where the days 😋I’m 60 now but still feels like yesterday
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DrBronxx 8 months ago
Not ladylike? What, you mean you don't dress her in a corset, put a stack of books on her head and make her walk across the room while saying "the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain"? For shame!
Forrest Hobbs 8 months ago
Or the sort of "ladylike" where you're earning a living gutting fish outdoors? 😁 https://www.gettyimages.in/detail/news-photo/young-scottish-women-at-work-in-great-yarmouth-norfolk-news-photo/96448029
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Savannah greenleaf 8 months ago
Of course kids love dirt and rocks! My grandma would have me dig holes and fill them back in. My children's grandfather built them a literal kennel put a swing set kid pool, and sand box in it. He asked I was offended, and nope not at all. The road we lived on was a 50 mph zone. Kids can play in the kennel at least they are not by the road.
Nikole 8 months ago
For real! My younger brother and I spent many a day digging holes in the backyard!
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Nad.nad 8 months ago
At my kindergarten there was a huge sandbox where me (f, now 47) and my friends played all day. By the time my niece went to the same kindergarten (25 years later) they had removed it and I used to wonder why. Then I realized that it might have had to do with a cat colony that lived right across the street. 😅
Huddo's sister 8 months ago (edited)
The way most places deal with cats around sandpits is to get a cover. Not hard and means ALL the kids still get to experience playing in it if they want.
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Kim Gatlin 8 months ago
This reminds me of a park music festival I went to a while back. Little girl, maybe 2-3 in a Rolling Stones t shirt happily playing in the dirt. So darn cute. I thought, great parents.
Val 8 months ago
My daughter loves "muddy puddles" due to Peppa, so last week, my mom was over and we went outside to play. Obviously, my daughter went and jumped in the muddy puddles. My mom was flipping out, saying she was going to get dirty. Well, duh, that's the point of the dang muddy puddles!
#3
I got shamed for ordering my almost two year old son water at a restaurant instead of milk or juice. He likes to drink water, what do you want from me?
Savannah greenleaf 8 months ago
What? At two it is perfectly fine to have water. Juices are sugar loaded, and at that age they are past formula. My kids pediatrician only recommended a certain amount of cows milk when they were toddlers.
Ms.GB 8 months ago
Isn't water better for them than juice? Assuming they're eating a balanced diet I would think there's nothing healthier and more hydrating than water.
Load More Replies... DrBronxx 8 months ago
Yeah. Water is completely unhealthy. Better order that child some blue-flavoured energy drink. For shame!
ILoveMySon 8 months ago
My neighbor is an awesome parent but is super vigilant about his daughter's food. Yet...he gives her that sugar blue colored drink.🤦♂️ I give her water and fresh fruit.
Load More Replies... Kristin 8 months ago
Ugh this would make me so mad 😠 😡 I got weird looks when I would give my daughter white grape juice cause that's what she liked but I'd water it down alot. She's 15 now and she drinks alot and I mean alot of water lol but when she orders and the wait staff say oh are you sure? We have this and that or they say that's crazy to see a kid drinking so much water. Or the looks my kids get when they eat veggies, I promise guys all my kids don't care for candy but put a veggie tray or fruit tray and it's gone before you like twice lol
Stephanie A Mutti 8 months ago
We drink a lot of water in my family and it thrills me when my daughter orders water out to eat even after I tell her she can have a sprite.
Jack 8 months ago (edited)
When my son was 3, he’d tell you he can’t have more than one glass of apple juice because too much sorbitol can cause diarrhea. Another parent was offended that I’d lied to my kid. 🤦♀️
Betsy S 8 months ago
Why would you ever feed your kid anything with sorbitol in it? He's right. It does cause diarrhea and apple juice does NOT need sweetening at all. It's perfectly sweet all on its own. Sorbitol and other sugar alcohols should never be given to children.
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Little Bit 8 months ago
I've had this too and it was from my own mother! Apparently I was 'cruel' giving them water instead of juice, even though they preferred water.
Virgil Blue 8 months ago
You should give your kid Brawndo. It's got electrolytes. It's what your body craves.
Fellfromthemoon 8 months ago
Electrolytes are in the food. And no, we don't need that much electrolytes. Our kidney and gut are constantly getting rid of the potassium. We understand limiting sodium intake is not the devil's invention.
Load More Replies...In a nutshell, mom shaming is when someone judges or criticizes a mom for her parenting style or choices. Choosing Therapy points out that even though this can sometimes come from a place of concern or a lack of knowledge about the context of the situation, it does more harm than good. The result? Insecurity. Anxiety. And self-doubt.
Some people have either very outdated or extremely unrealistic expectations of the role that moms supposedly ‘should’ have in raising their children. In some cases, the critics are extremely stubborn and believe that their approach to parenting is the one and only way to do things ‘right.’
Other times, the individual may be narcissistic or have serious self-esteem issues, so they feed their ego or feel better about their insecurities by putting other people down. It’s not far from bullying. Meanwhile, there are also those parents for whom raising children is a competition, so they constantly compare themselves to others and vice versa.
#4
That I whistled at her and she immediately returned to my side. Our boxer is trained to different whistles (and word/hand commands), we have land that we can hike with him being off leash. He never ventures far off, rarely out of eye sight, but does his last zoomies as we load up 4.5yo in the vehicle. She's learned what the different whistles mean, and will also respond to them. Each of us have our own "name" whistle to call our attention before next whistle.
Apparently I've trained her like a dog if I use the freeze/stop/come here/eyes on me whistles without thinking while at the park or grocery store.
Nope. We just live out in the county and use whistles vs yelling as my voice gives out easily when my sinuses are pissed off.
Becca not Becky 8 months ago (edited)
I was swimming in Miami at the beach once as a teen. There were a lot of people so it wasn't exactly quiet, but I heard my grandmother's unmistakable whistle and that's when I saw everyone running out of the water. There was a shark. Whistling carries quite well, and I'm glad for it.
PataSata 8 months ago
This reminds me a video that I've seen. There is a language that is "spoken" by whistling. Some indigenious people are using it, who live in a mountaineous, wooded region. And the reasoning is just like op's, whistling propagates much better than yelling.
Robert T 8 months ago
Domingo it's time for tea! This one is from La Gomera: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfGwFM9-wFk
Load More Replies... Virgil Blue 8 months ago
In the Alps and in the Pyreneeën hearders have a whole whistle language they used to communicate over long distances, created before mobile phones etc were a thing.
Mark Alexander 8 months ago
My dad used to whistle to get me to come home before dark. It worked for a 2 block radius.
DrBronxx 8 months ago
When we were playing in the countryside with our cousins, my uncle would step outside and blow a dog whistle to let us know we should come back to the house for lunch/dinner/whatever. It was super useful. We'd be in the fields playing football or climbing trees a bit far from the hous, hear the whistle, then head back. Simple.
sturmwesen 8 months ago
I never got why people got offended because of whistling...and yeah rather than shout I will whistle for my BF when we are outside
Learner Panda 7 months ago
My children always responded to whistles. They carry far better than shouting.
#5
When my son was 6 months old, my husband and I were chastised by a catholic priest in a hospital elevator. We were told “it’s ridiculous that one of you couldn’t stay home with your child. A hospital is no place for a baby.”
My son was the patient—he had been diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder the week before. We were there to get some baseline tests done.
I was so stunned I couldn’t say anything. My husband told him to mind his own business and informed him that my son was there for a heart echo. That priest stfu really quickly, but didn’t apologize.
Cee Cee 8 months ago
He clearly doesn't have the personality to be a priest. Judge not lest thou be judged etc. I might be a non-believer but I do know the Bible.
Charles McChristy 8 months ago
He clearly has the perfect personality to be a priest.
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Ge Po 8 months ago
Even if one of the parents would have been the patient. What if that parent would have had to take some painkillers or other medicines that would have prevented them from driving back? Eye-treatment, so public transport would have been a challenge? Not everyone has the money to pay for a ride home.
Kristin 8 months ago
Ugh I'm so sorry for who this offends but I have found and so have alot of others, that religious people especially those who say they are Christians are the most judgemental and unkind people. Yes there are some amazing ones but unfortunately I've come across alot of bad.
Helena 8 months ago
I actively avoid any company that has the christian fish in the logo or uses 'christian business' anywhere in their advertising. Every time they've been the one's to try to overcharge or lie or were just super rude. Took me decades, but now any business with the fish is dead to me.
Load More Replies... Charles McChristy 8 months ago
Ah, yes. Your game of make believe is better than their game of make believe? Brilliant 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Load More Replies... #6
I was shamed by a co worker for having my first kid soooooo young. I was 20 when I had my first, she was f*****g 22....I've never wanted to smack someone so hard. .
Depressy spaghetti 8 months ago (edited)
Mom had my brother at 14, and me at 16 i still hate my dad for it.
Load More Replies... Glen Ellyn 8 months ago
I don't blame you one bit for wanting to give her a smack. I'd like to as well. 🙄
Julie Blaylock 8 months ago
Had my first at 20. Married at 18. Still happily married for almost 42 years and our daughter is 40 now and amazing!
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
My mum had me at 19 died 8 mths later , at the hands of my father ! I on the other hand didn’t have mine till I was 35,-39 , n my now 24 yr old lass doesn’t want kids anytime soon if ever lol n the 21 yr old ld has no plans yet either , when you choose to have kids is no one else’s beeswax ! I’m in uk lol means mind ur own dam business 😂
According to Choosing Therapy, some of the main ways in which other people shame moms include criticizing their choice to stay at home and breastfeeding choices. Mom-shamers also often judge non-traditional parenting roles, other parents’ children’s development, sleep training, and kids’ activities.
Stopping mom shaming means working on yourself, your perspective, and how you interact with the world. For one, you should stop comparing moms to each other. You also ought to think about each mom’s personal strengths, offer your support instead of being judgy, and also take a look at any self-esteem issues that you might have.
#7
I'm sorry, some people can be so rude and grumpy.
Last week, I had a woman at the swimming pool complain that my child was too loud. During public swim at a community pool. He was just laughing!
I'm trying not to take it to heart, but it is stuck in my head, and I'm so disappointed in people sometimes.
Ms.GB 8 months ago (edited)
I'd be like "If you're going to use the community pool you should expect other members of the community are going to be there. If you don't like that get your own pool or stay home but community pools aren't always going to be a quiet, serene experience....this isn't a spa!"
Load More Replies... ILoveMySon 8 months ago
Right? I am delighted when I hear children laughing.
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Tina Griffiths 8 months ago
Laughter is the best sound in the world! Don't ever worry and try to silence your child because of other people. Throw your head back and laugh along with them!
Zoe Vokes 8 months ago
I hate it, but I’m very sensitive to noise. I’d never complain about it to the parents and would just leave the area. Or wouldn’t go to a child friendly area and then complain there are children there.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Yo nasty Karen doors >>>>>>>>> thata way don’t slam it on your way out moody evil inhuman !
Lady Lestrange 8 months ago
Don't worry. Even I'm disappointed with the stupidity of people around me all the time. Some people should be ignored, and mrs mcnasty is one of them.
#8
I had to go to the pharmacy to get myself medicine and I had all 3 of my kids (5, 3, and 1 at that time) with me in 2021. The female tech at the counter told me I shouldn’t be bringing my little kids with me and should leave them at home. I told her I have zero childcare and it’s just me, she argued back that I could have found someone.
LauraDragonWench 8 months ago
That's because women can't win no matter what we do. Mother shaming is just an extension of that, sadly. 😒🙄😮💨😤😡🤬
Load More Replies... The Big Bad 8 months ago
"could have found someone"... It's not like you can catch 'em in the wild whenever you need them.
Kim Gatlin 8 months ago
Or just shame someone into it, like a lot of stories on here. Maybe if they had delivery (there was pandemic for crying out loud) and I don't mean Door Dash with the fees and the 20% tip. She has 3 kids.
Load More Replies... Charles McChristy 8 months ago
And I hope you spoke to the manager about this littler conversation.
#9
I got mom shamed for choosing a natural birth without an epidural as well as breast feeding lol! People are wild. Give yourselves all the grace in the world ❤️.
Tilly’syellowsnowman 8 months ago
If anything, they should be looking up to you! Labor pain is NO joke
sbj 8 months ago
Where I work rooms are now provided (and time) for new moms who have come back to work and are still breast feeding so they can express milk. I can't stand the people who complain about this setup as they were obviously happy with the previous situation with the poor women having to do this in a stall in the bathroom
Cindy Brick 8 months ago
I did this -- twice. But it used to be you got shamed for "using d***s" or NOT breast-feeding. I don't get this at all. (Why is it any of their business, anyways? Don't encourage them by telling them.)
The Big Bad 8 months ago
Haha I tried that. After a very long time and no progress I went for the epidural anyway. But why shame someone who does it succesfully?
Stannous Flouride 8 months ago
My wife apologized for asking for an epidural and I was flabbergasted. Modern medicine is GREAT and there's no reason someone should suffer if it can be helped.
Annik Perrot 8 months ago
Wasn't really à thing until I had my 4th, and he came so fast it didn't quite have time to take hold.
DrBronxx 8 months ago (edited)
My wife's hospital didn't have epidurals. Natural births only. Only private/expensive hospitals in this country offer them, and even then it's pretty rare for people to actually choose that approach. I have no idea why. My wife considers labour to be one of the single worst and most painful experiences in her life, and he is more than happy to never ever experience it again.
Glen Ellyn 8 months ago
With my first baby, after 12 hours of labor, the doc finally gave me an epidural. It was a relief and allowed me to regroup a bit. A few more hours passed and then the doc decided I needed a C-section, Being exhausted, I decided to have general anesthesia, so they removed the epidural and the flippin' pains came back. Later on, one of the nurses mentioned that she knew I'd need a C-section as soon as she saw me. At that point, I wished she'd been my doctor from the beginning.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
I had an epi with eldest I was 35 n in labour for 72 freaking hours cos I had to be induced two weeks early so I could walk again , , broken backs two off , years before n she was back to back , my lad however I was 39 n only had time for gas n air lmao 45 mins !! start to birth , n i can honestly say no one should ever diss anyone who chooses pain relief it f kin hurts ! plus u can bet the, Karen’s as spout all that natural c**p n judge didn’t have one lol 😂n im all for natural stuff being a Wiccan but you know sometimes 😂you need that epidural !
Regina Holt 8 months ago
Your stuff is hard to follow., Grammar, spelling, and punctuation helps.
Load More Replies...You should also practice being more compassionate, think of the things you’re grateful for in life, focus on a growth-oriented mindset, and give other moms the benefit of the doubt. It often helps to reflect on what your own parenting journey was like and what challenges you faced.
Have you ever had anyone start shaming you for your parenting style, choices, or blunders, dear Pandas? How did you react to them? Where do you personally think the line between concern and criticism lies? From your perspective, what is a way to offer helpful parenting advice while also being supportive?
#10
Leaving an event when my toddler was tired and about to have a meltdown, but not “noticing she was tired way earlier and leaving before she got to this point”.
Fellfromthemoon 8 months ago
So, if I understand the logic, OP shoul've prevented the child getting tired. Ok, so, according to the same logic and presumably, I'm gonna be hungry in a few hours. If I eat now (when I'm not hungry,) I won't get hungry later. Therefore, to avoid the unpleasant feeling of being hungry and inconvenience myself and others around me, I shall continuously eat, right? Similarly, OP should've forced her toddler to take a nap even before getting tired/sleepy. Easy-peasy.
Child of the Stars 8 months ago
I'm assuming this child is neurodivergent by the use of meltdown instead of tantrum. It's hard enough to tell beforehand when a neurotypical child has had enough; I can't imagine how challenging it must be with a neurodivergent one!
#11
One of my kids is a T1 and we were in line once and his pump goes off letting us know he’s low. So we check his blood sugar and he treated. Then my youngest asked if he can have some candy too and because he had been behaving and hadn’t had a treat in a while I said sure and he has some too.
This older lady turns around and tells me I’m going to give my other kid the diabetes too. So my t1 (then 10) looks at her and said that’s not how type 1 diabetes works. My pancreas doesn’t make insulin that’s why I have a pump which gives me my insulin and I have to much insulin which is why I need the candy and how about you not tell me mom what to do and keep your opinion to yourself and b**t out. She then looks at me and says aren’t you going to parent your child and I said why should I when he’s right. You should b**t out.
Normally I would have made a smart a*s comment that will purposely embarrass her but he was tired and annoyed and he was quick to the punch.
Virgil Blue 8 months ago
"Come with me and take your insulin if you want to live"😎
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Forrest Hobbs 8 months ago
"is a T1" is probably meant to mean "has type 1 diabetes" rather than "T1 Transit Declaration" which is what all the top hits are about when I search for "what is T1": 😁 https://shippinginternational.co.uk/blog/eu-transit-declarations-guide
#12
My daughter 7 at the time who has autism and adhd she has no concept of watching where she’s going etc she accidentally ran into a lady’s trolley (shopping cart) she yelled at her and I mean she actually yelled at her. to watch where your going .. I went off at her “ she has a disability you stupid b***h” a lady walking behind me congratulated me for putting her in her place.
Glen Ellyn 8 months ago
Good for you! Some people really need to be put in their place. Glad you got assurances from the woman behind you. You were justified.
Royal Stray 8 months ago
On one hand yelling at a young child is not the way to go. On the other hand if you know your child doesn't have spatial awareness then hold their hands or keep track of them. What's next wandering into the bike lane? What if she'd wandered in front of the lady who'd hit her? Disability or not this is something OP's going to need to drill into her child or she could end up in the hospital
Panda Bear 8 months ago
Even if the kid wasn’t disabled accidents happen. If a kid walked into my cart at the store I’d be worried that they got hurt
Sam Trudeau 8 months ago
Great! However, some of us may prefer "condition" to be the word used instead of "disability"
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Eugh vile Karen’s it chilly makes no difference if the child has a disability imo young kids do this it’s part of growing up there is any cause to scream at a kid like that is there well done op x
sbj 8 months ago
When small children are running around in public spaces as an adult it's my responsibility to get out of the way
Fellfromthemoon 8 months ago
No, my responsibility is not to collide with them directly. I usually just stop and stay put rigidly, like a lamppost and wait for the child to avoid hitting me. When I try to change direction, the child ususally also changes their trajectory, and in 50% of the cases, both of us pick the same direction. When I stand still, about 80% of the cases, the child can avoid the collision, in the remaining 20%, the hit is determined by their speed.
Load More Replies... #13
Breastfeeding and not pumping so “no one else can feed him”.
Tilly’syellowsnowman 8 months ago
Maybe that’s not a bad thing if these are the type of people he’s around…
Cindy Brick 8 months ago
Seriously? You got shamed for doing it naturally???? (This sounds like a jealous relative griping.)
Kim Gatlin 8 months ago
I sometimes wish I could go back to those days and just hang it out. People are ridiculous. I always covered up also, but I would be damned if I wasn't going to feed her. In the car, in the park, doctor's office. Never had any nonsense but I will always stand up for any nursing mom. Even if they don't hide under a blanket.
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Debbie 8 months ago
The reason "no one else can feed him" on itself is no reason to pump. But pumping and having some extra in the freezer should be a safety precaution imo. What if something happens to you and you can't feed the baby for a day/few days? The baby instantly has to learn to drink from a bottle and if there's no breastmilk he knows, also has to adjust to formula.
Learner Panda 7 months ago
LOL. I deliberately breast fed so no-one else could feed my babies for months.
#14
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. People are just so rude!
When my son was about 15 we were at Home Goods. I picked up a comforter in one of those plastic bags. It was kinda bulky to carry but not heavy.
The 60-ish year old cashier gave me a disapproving look and said very rudely- “Mom you should be teaching him to carry these things for you”
I’m not really sure what I even said but I was so mad. Yeah he could’ve carried it but it wasn’t necessary. She doesn’t know the things he does for me around the house.. I can’t stand people sometimes.
Brittania Kelli 8 months ago
People go on at me about not giving my teen specific chores to do. Their generation is the first generation that has a very good chance of living to 100. Retirement ages will raise to 85-90 at this rate. They are going to have to work from 60-70+ years. For 18 years they can be a kid, for 18 years they can be carefree, there are so many years for them to be responsible and adult. Saying that I do teach them house care basics so they can have the tools needed when they do go to Uni or wherever, they just don't have chores.
Another Panda 8 months ago
Yes, let’s not actually do what parenting is all about…teaching young humans to grow into being actual fully functioning adults. 🙄 The whole “let kids be kids” pendulum swung WAY too far, and there’s groups within a few generations of adults who have the emotional capacities, knowledge, and skills of 9 year olds.
#15
I was once mom shamed for getting a bottle of wine at the grocery store. The woman was older and went on a tangent about how irresponsible it was for me to drink. She even said "if you drink and fall asleep he could k**l himself"
Some people have experienced some terrible things and seen some things and they project. It was just a crazy experience. I left the store and was like I should have gotten a second bottle 🤣 just kidding.
Skogsrået 8 months ago
And all while keeping eye contact with that woman.
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Ruth Watry 8 months ago
Response - just because you got drunk and fell asleep when responsible for your kids does not mean that others will do that.
Roxy222uk 8 months ago
You make a very good point and should be proud of yourself for realising that there's another point of view. Bad behaviour and treatment of others almost always comes from a place of fear (the exceptions being the likes of Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg whose families have been entitled for a thousand years, they're just entitled as there is no reason for them to feel fear)
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Me I’d have said s**t I forgot something n gone back for a second one n given Karen the bird lol !uk for middle finger
#16
Existing without my daughter. I dropped her off at preschool and then took my dogs for a walk before logging into work, my b***h neighbor gave me a snide “oh where’s the baby? Must be *so nice* to have a break!”.
DrBronxx 8 months ago
I wonder if OP was reading into this or not. If it was delivered like it says here, then the neighbor does suck, but could it have been an actual comment saying that it genuinely must be nice to have a break? Because it is nice to have a break sometimes. Can't wait for mine tonight after my daughter goes to bed. I'm going to crack open a beer and watch The Studio!
Aussi Panda 8 months ago
My 21 year autistic daughter is going away tomorrow to spend 2 weeks with my sister 5 hours away. I can’t wait! I will be able to breathe & feel like my old self without having to look after her 🎉🥳
Load More Replies... #17
I once got scolded for not spending “enough” one-on-one time with my then two-year-old. My husband and I had been home for maybe a week from the hospital with my second baby and were in survival mode.
Edda Kamphues 8 months ago
I once asked my husband to please change our daughter's nappy (I was utterly exhausted). My SIL came in: why don't YOU do it. The relationship has never recovered.
Zoe Vokes 8 months ago
Men can’t change diapers? That’s a woman only job?
Load More Replies... #18
Just recently, I took my son out to Kemah, he just turned 4. He is taller than average, so maybeeee there was some confusion... BUT- he has just started amping up on potty training. It was just me and him there, lots of people. I took him into the woman's restroom nearby because there was no family section close, and he needed to go immediately. Once we came out of the stall, this mom who was helping her daughter wash her hands next to us (doing the same) was giving me a dirty look... she just kept looking at me, then my son, then back at me like I'm doing something incredibly horrible by taking my child to the potty.
What am I supposed to do?
It's not like I can just send him in alone to the crowded adult men's room and ask some stranger to help assist with getting him on the toilet. 🙄🤦♀️.
Clown fish 8 months ago
I've had this! My son is 12 and has autism I can't let him go to the loo in public on his own because he's really bad for just talking to random people so I take him the ladies. I get looks I just smile and ask are you ok?
Load More Replies... Virgil Blue 8 months ago
It's weird how the same people who don't want trans women (that they keep calling men) in the ladies room because, apparantly, all (ex)men are predatory deviants, want a mom to send their too little boys into the men's room unaccompanied.
Mark Alexander 8 months ago
"Lady, are you trying to groom my son? Keep your eyes to yourself."
Another Panda 8 months ago
I think the US is the only country that freaks out about restrooms.
Kim Gatlin 8 months ago
About a lot of stupid things. Then just brush off genuinely concerning things.
Load More Replies... BrunoVI 8 months ago
I would presume some sort of developmental issue, but otherwise, it *is* weird to be just starting to potty train a four-year-old.
Marianne 8 months ago
Every child is different. And while earlier generations made a huge effort to potty-train as early as possible, many people nowadays wait until a child feels ready and is motivated to go to the toilet. It's not so unusual at that age.
Load More Replies... Stannous Flouride 8 months ago
When I was a kid in the 50s this was the standard procedure. It's all this stirring up of nonsensical phobias that has made people second guess themselves about such things.
#19
My kid had the most severe dairy allergy his pediatrician office had seen. We switched to soy. Other non-dairy & non-soy formula did not work, he was vomiting actual fountains. Soy is the ONLY thing he kept down and he wasn't allergic to.
I got shamed non stop for feeding my baby toxins and poison. I was told to breastfeed, but I couldn't breastfeed, I had a miniscule supply, like 2oz a day from BOTH breasts after 6 weeks of trying to up it and extra pumping myself into a mental breakdown.
I got told to make my own, sorry but I'm not a f*****g nutritionist, I'm not doing that.
I got told I need to get goats milk, well that is also dairy.
I kept getting told soy is "not normal". Okay Brenda, how much f*****g blood is normal for a baby to s**t??? Because dairy makes my baby s**t blood.
Aileen Grist 8 months ago
I do think, sometimes, that humans are odd. We tell mothers off for breastfeeding - or not - and then tell them to move onto dairy - which is bovine breast milk, meant to bring a baby calf from 60 lbs to 400 in a year - full of growth hormones that aren't the right ones for us.
My O My 8 months ago
My big one git formula upgraded with thickener so that he wouldn't puke all of it again and also upgraded with lactulose so that he could poop. And he had to lay uphill on his side for sleeping because I didn't want him to choke on his puke whilst asleep. The amount of people telling me I did everything wrong (and, actually the nurses in hospital tought me everything) was overwhelming.
Leg less In Minneapolis 8 months ago
Neither of my kids used to”regular “ formula. One got away with soy. The second needed the wicked expensive, hard to find hypo allergenic pre digested type. Our doc told it all did the same thing so if anybody commented I would ask the when they finish med school
Anna Drever 8 months ago
Approximately 68% (some sources say even higher) of the world’s population can’t tolerate dairy. I can’t and my poor middle child, now adult, couldn’t either. What we both can tolerate is soy. Soy is just a BEAN. That’s all. If you’re allergic or have a food intolerance to it then do avoid. Otherwise it’s down to personal preference.
Betsy S 8 months ago
Goat is not considered "dairy" in North America. Dairy here has come to mean cows. Goat milk has very different proteins and MAY be easier to digest. But unfortunately, soy is generally what they do recommend. Too bad it stinks SO badly. And makes the diapers into toxic sludge.
#20
I didn’t attempt to induce lactation so I could breastfeed my adopted baby.
Savannah greenleaf 8 months ago
Don't blame you a bit. If you got judged for that one I would tell them to keep their opinions to themselves, or just stick them where the sun does not shine and leave me alone.
Jack 8 months ago
Yes! I couldn’t lactate with my own kids, doesn’t make me less of a parent!
Load More Replies... Glen Ellyn 8 months ago
Wow. That's a new one for me. 🤦🏻♀️ I honestly did not know that's possible.
LauraDragonWench 8 months ago
Yup, it's possible. (Lactation can even be induced in men under the right circumstances.) However, the is the first time I've heard of the practice in association with an adopted child. What a wild suggestion!
Load More Replies... #21
I used to work with this lovely woman, super kind and well-meaning. I was pregnant with my first and all I craved was watermelon so bad that cucumber smelled like it. I'd eat whole cukes, salting a little bit per bite. She observed me consume one with my salt shaker in the other hand.
Afterwards, she came up to me with her sweet kindly smile and whispered lovingly to me, "Obey the cravings, hon, but watch your salt intake." She then punctuated her statement with a stern-faced motherly nod.
Little did she know that I had been "prescribed" salt by my doctor due to ridiculously low BP (for example, first thing in the morning, before I have anything to eat or drink, it can be as low as 80s over 50s).
People who knee-jerk mom-shame people don't know enough to say c**p about anything. Let it roll off like water on a duck's back. They're the ones making an a*s of themselves, not out of you.
Shark Lady 8 months ago
I have to have double the recommended amount of salt as I don't absorb it properly. I have had so many comments about it, especially in restaurants. One waiter told me I was disrespecting the talent of the chef.
Mongo Marcia 8 months ago
If she is as nice as described mom could have just explained it to her. I have never heard of that and would have appreciated the knowledge.
Virgil Blue 8 months ago
I'm a guy and I also have to make sure my salt intake is kept up. After some testing and talking to my doctor we figured out my body loses far more salts and electrolytes than others and that can make my BP dip dangerously low in some cases. (I mean woozyness while driving etc). It's some metabolic thing linked to my decaying thyroid making it hard for my body to keep salt reabsorption up to standard.
My O My 8 months ago
That's interesting! I'm gonna ask my doctor about this. My blood pressure never gets over 100/60 and I experience thiy woozyness too
Load More Replies... The Big Bad 8 months ago
I once went KO in the streets because of this. Police were close and asked me if I was drunk (I was very visibly pregnant).
Anna Drever 8 months ago
I don’t have high or low blood pressure so I can consume as much salt as I want. Hubby on the other hand has to avoid as much as possible. No biggie. I don’t add salt to cooking and then I keep the salt shaker next to me at meal times. Neither of us deäd yet. 🙂
#22
Not having my son in socks, multiple times, because *isn't he going to get cold?*
It was the height of summer and 100°F outside.
The Big Bad 8 months ago
My kids always want to take off their coats, shoes and socks. Imo if they feel they're warm enough they should. They're the ones that are running and climbing. I can't feel what they feel.
Marianne 8 months ago
Older people always seem to know better what a child needs to wear. My son is easily cold and when my MIL went for a walk with him on an early sunny spring day, he wasn't allowed to wear a hat, because he didn't need one in her opinion. So he was just cold. I also think that he dresses warmer than needed, but I'm not in his body, so why would I forbid to wear something warm?
Kim Gatlin 8 months ago
Dressing for the calendar instead of the temperature. My husband does this with the thermostat. It's November. Well, it's Kentucky and it's 80 degrees. Probably snow tomorrow.
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Cindy Brick 8 months ago
Confession here: I wear socks maybe 2 or 3 times a year. And yes, I live in Colorado, too.
Forrest Hobbs 8 months ago
I've just learnt that Colorado has multiple climate zones - some of which are absolutely fine for "no socks most of the time", but some of which are officially "subarctic". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colorado#Climate
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Kristin 8 months ago
I live in colorado and I swore this winter if I saw one more baby with no socks and shorts on when it was -2 outside I was gonna pluck this parent in the throat!!!! Lol OP has every reason not to have her baby in socks!!! Shoot i don't even want sandals on when it's that hot lol
#23
For not giving my 6 week old rice cereal & picking my daughter up while pregnant.
Glen Ellyn 8 months ago
Good grief! Women who think they know better, based on outdated advice. Sheesh. I'm happy to say that I never - and I mean never - said anything to my daughter or daughter-in-law about anything having to with with childcare. As old as I am, I realize things have changed. Doctors' recommendations - based on science - have also changed. Just think of all that has been learned about SIDS! (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.)
V 8 months ago
My MIL has told stories of things they did when my husband was young, or when she was a kid. But more just making observation about how things have changed, not that they have changed for the worse. She's quite happy to learn new things, she's a teacher, so in terms of child development she's up to date on new data, but outside of that she's not.
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Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
wtf I’m 60 n even back in my baby days baby rice at 6 weeks old WAS A HUGE NO NO WTF is that Karen trying to do k**l all the babies ffs dear god alive 🤦♀️n my two kids now 24-21 didn’t have baby rice till 4 months old even then it was very liquid and most def NOT IN A BLOODY BOTLLE 🤦♀️
#24
I am from Latin America and get a lot of “why are your daughter’s ears not pierced?” when I visit home. Until she was 6 months it was followed “you can’t even tell she is a girl”. Her hair has always been long since birth, so from 6 months onwards the need for bows/hairdo’s to prevent her hair from falling on her eyes have at least stopped the second (extremely sexist) portion of the question. She still gets pity looks though like “poor thing, she doesn’t have holes in her ears”.
Edda Kamphues 8 months ago
I found myself in the opposite situation. I did get my daughter's ears pierced when she was 4, AT HER VERY, VERY INSISTENT REQUESTS, not to say nagging. Never heard the end of it from the in-laws.
Joe Reaves 8 months ago
Personally, I wouldn't allow it until they're old enough to care for them themselves, but I wouldn't judge anyone else for a different decision provided, as in your case, the child wanted it. But a 4 year old has so few things where they can choose that if they want earrings, why not?
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BrunoVI 8 months ago (edited)
SERIOUSLY??? (Ironically, in America, MEN get an ear pierced if they go South of the equator. That's why pirates are always shown wearing earrings.)
Joe Reaves 8 months ago
One of the main reasons pirates had gold earrings (other sailors often did too) was because they could be used to pay for their funeral.
Load More Replies... Learner Panda 7 months ago
When I took my 18 month old daughter to Spain I was asked if she was a girl. She was the absolute epitome of a blonde, curly haired, blue eyed girlie. She was 16 before she wanted her ears pierced.
Dolevaal 8 months ago
That is basically hurting your child and giving hin/her trauma for a totally stupid reason. They can decide when they are older if they want this.
Kim Gatlin 8 months ago
I let mine decide when she was ready. It's her body. And it's an optional thing.
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Verfin22 8 months ago
Mom pierced mine at 6 months because she was tired of everyone thinking I was a boy. Even while wearing dresses and girl colors.
Kim Gatlin 8 months ago
But why do we need to know she's a girl. So we can pay her less? Make her do the dishes?
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Eugh babies with pierced ears is wrong ! They can pull em out n it should be the kids choice when to have em done not forced on em I will always judge in this instance !!
#25
Literally everything. From his outfit to his physical size. Like he's tall. He's 2.
The hardest one was about letting him feed himself, instead of feeding him myself after he hit 5mo. With doctor suggestion.
Savannah greenleaf 8 months ago
Just take high chair outside spray with garden hose and repeat the next day. If they are capable let them try. Supervise help if needed, but kids generally like a bit of independence. If child pours spaghetti in hair and it's nice outside I was also okay with taking the kids out and spraying them with the hose too. They loved it!
V 8 months ago
We got some mesh feeders thinking they'd be a great way to teach our kid to feed themself with minimal mess. Turns out when your kid loves drumming on things they just spray pureed food everywhere, lol.
Load More Replies... Dee Rutherford 8 months ago
WTH. You’re the one who knows your child. I just used to smile and nod and ignore them all.
#26
My daughter loves to carry her shoes but not wear them. She walks but only at home and she’s still gaining confidence. I say this because she’s not walking around stores barefoot. I’ve had a dozen or so people tell me my poor baby needs shoes on to protect her feet or why is she holding them instead of wearing them. While she’s in the buggy no where near the floor. I usually say something to the effect of “alright YOU try to get them on her”. Usually people look offended and walk off.
Forrest Hobbs 8 months ago
So how do these loonies think human beings managed to get around before inventing shoes? Sheesh. 🙄
Stannous Flouride 8 months ago
"When you wear shoes, every step you take, your soles grow thinner. When you don't wear shoes, every step you take, your soles grow thicker." --1960s aphorism.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 8 months ago
Even when they first start walking, babies shouldn't be wearing shoes all the time.
My O My 8 months ago
It is recommended to let the go without shoes as much as possible. The foot needs to form and grow strong
Dee Rutherford 8 months ago
🙄. Why don’t people mind their own business. I’m so sorry to hear all of this.
#27
Some lady was appalled that my 11 month old early walker had only socks and no shoes at the park and was roaming about shoeless.
"Where are her shoes?!"
I told her that my baby just started walking and that she can't walk in shoes yet (she legitimately would just faceplant with shoes on).
This lady gave me such a look and then took her toddler and left the park!
To this day I have no idea why this upset her so.
Andie Day 8 months ago
God, just let other people raise their kids without your opinions. Unless the kid is obviously bruised and neglected, just go away.
Load More Replies... #28
When my son was little he cried a lot, I was breastfeeding so my MIL said "maybe he's crying so much cause your breast milk isn't good enough" she wanted me to formula feed...
#29
I was recently afforded the opportunity to go to a grocery store alone and during checkout a very young toddler (maybe 20mos?) was crying very loudly and was terribly upset a few registers over. The Complaint behind me were tisking loudly and talking about being unable to control a child. I said (to no one in particular) “poor baby, he must be getting teeth or just wants a hug from mom”.
Ffs, my 23mo wails at home if I don’t show her my belly button while I’m trying to have a p*o.
Kim Gatlin 8 months ago
Strange little critters, aren't they. Now, here comes my inner Karen. Why is that child in the pic mouthing that cart? Ugh, I know it's clean for the photo shoot, but let's not encourage that. I always say, things you never thought you would say before you had a child or a dog: don't lick the trash can (dog), don't eat off the ground (child, who did manage to survive to adulthood). And of course : what's in your mouth? Spit it out!
#30
My grandma gets so mad at me when i let my 4 year old pick out her own outfits, she goes “well why is she wearing that you could’ve put a nice outfit on her” like she’s 4 and if she wants to pick out her own clothes she’s going to be allowed to do that. or when i leave my daughters hair down instead of putting it up she’ll immediately take her to the bathroom and do it even if i tell her she didn’t want it done she wanted it down she doesn’t care she wants my daughter to look like a babydoll 24/7 and it’s just not going to happen and she constantly makes me feel like i can’t do it right.
Kim Gatlin 8 months ago
Yanking the hair up all the time is headache inducing and bad for the hair. Take it from a former dancer who still freaking does it because I'm hot. But looser. There'll be no pirouetting.
ILoveMySon 8 months ago
I did the same for my son. I didn't bother with Granimal brand as he would choose whatever he fancied.
Kitty 🥀 8 months ago (edited)
Okay, but that first part, letting a 4 y/old pick a top and bottom out of her entire wardrobe/ closet by herself doesn’t make sense. Give her 2 or 3 options and let her choose. That’s what my sister does because she wants her daughter actually wearing appropriate clothes that match. 🙄🙄🙄
#31
I literally got Mom shamed for making my first her own special birthday cake that was nicely decorated for her first birthday and a separate cake for everyone else. People are ruthless. You gotta water off a duck this kind of stuff.
Rinso The Red 8 months ago
Most people make a separate "smash cake" for the little one to enjoy while the elders have access to a cake not covered in baby spit.
#32
My now toddler has hip dysplasia and was in a full body harness for several months as a newborn/infant. The number of “concerned” people that approached me out of the blue asking if I had dropped her or if she had been shaken was astounding.
Nils Skirnir 8 months ago
Given the number of children physically abused, these concerns aren’t wrong. In fact, in some cases they’re legally required.
Load More Replies... Kim Gatlin 8 months ago
I love that. My sister broke her arm when she was three. Used the cast as a weapon. And it's still my fault 50ish years later because she had to see where I was going and wobbled off her seat
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#33
My colleague shamed me for breastfeeding my (10-months at the time) baby everytime she woke up at night. She said i should hire a night nanny to "raise" my daughter if i'm not going to do it myself.
Roxy222uk 8 months ago
Babies are meant to feed at night!! In hunter-gatherer days mum needs to get on with stuff, although of course she's going to stop if the baby needs feeding, but at night all is quiet and still and the baby can feed uninterrupted. It's built in to them. Also, rousing themselves in the night is a protective thing to help make sure their new breathing remains regulated.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
My eldest who’s now 24 only woke up every 4 hrs in fact at times I’d have to wake her lol , I was 35 when I had her n I loved nightfeeds as I don’t sleep much still don’t , but my son 21 omg lol 9lb born n dm he was a hungry baby every two hours , to point of I never ligt left the sofa for two weeks after I had him breast feeding I thought this is stupid i ve got another child to look after etc so bottles it was but at night it was still 2-3 hrs every babie is different !! N there is no shame on feeding on demand non what so ever !
#34
Almost everything! for caring to much for my baby! I once was about to leave my parents house to go back home. then changed my mind because the baby was hungry and i said i'd feed her first my sister said "you are just being over the top" for wanting to feed my baby?
i forgot once to get extra clothes and was mom-shamed for it. i was pregant with my second and my first one threw up in her bed, my mom who came to help suggested she will pick her up kept shaming me for not knowing she vomitted!! staid the whole day making me feel like a bad mom. so many other stories. and sadly the mom-shaming always come from mothers. not once from my childless friends.
Zoe Vokes 8 months ago
As a childless person I have no idea what the development ages are, so I can’t judge a thing. No idea when they’re supposed to crawl, walk, feed themselves, etc. Other mothers have an idea when the “proper” time is for things and how to raise a child because the did it themselves, read it in a book, read about it online… And depending what their age is they have a lot of disproven knowledge that is now known to be wrong.
#35
The nurse practioner at my old obgyn mom shamed me for co-sleeping with my son because a 6 month old should be sleeping all night and I needed to let him cry.
That boy didn't sleep through the night till he was 2 years old. He was 1 year before we sleep-trained him. I had to co-sleep because he's a side/belly sleeper and I was solo all night because my husband was at work at night. No one would have slept at night if he wasn't on my chest. I'm a light sleeper, he was safe.
I lost all respect for that woman because I was a first time mom, trying to survive on 5 hours of broken sleep per night and sheer willpower.
Anna Drever 8 months ago
My eldest slept through a feed at six weeks and we got a decent nights sleep from then on. Until… middle child was born. He slept through at six weeks, for one night and one night only. Then he didn’t sleep through until two years of age. I was like a zombie. 😬
Aileen Grist 8 months ago
My sister in la got told that she would have to rehome her cat as you can't hve a cat with a baby. She also had a helth visitor threaten her with child services for not getting her baby baptised (UK)
Regina Holt 8 months ago
Well, those are 2 crazy ideas that make no sense.
Load More Replies... Kitty 🥀 8 months ago
Co-sleeping is incredibly risky and dangerous. I’m with the ob/gyn on this.
My O My 8 months ago
Your reason is valid. The "baby should sleep/cry all alone" is wrong
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#36
My baby was crying in the grocery store one day, and a lovely older woman said out loud to nobody “sounds like somebody needs to be taken home”. It wasn’t in a concerned or empathetic way. She was clearly bothered by the crying, which I was doing my best to not be overstimulated by after a bad day.
I said right to her face “yes, as soon as I buy the formula she’s crying for you f*****g a*****e, I am NOT HERE BECAUSE IM HAVING A GOOD TIME”…
She apologised, I ran off to pay and we both cried in the car on the way home 🤣
It was always boomers who seemed to forget how it is when you’re knee deep in literal baby poop.
Joe Reaves 8 months ago
There are plenty of places where a crying baby should be removed immediately - a grocery store is not one of them.
Nils Skirnir 8 months ago
So you can immediately tell a person born in 1946 from one born in 1945 or one born in 1965 from one born in 1966? If not, don’t assign generations to them.
Betsy S 8 months ago
Thank you! Fine to say an old woman, a woman in her 80's, an elderly woman, etc. But don't use generational slurs please. You're training the generations behind you to use your generation name as a slur to dismiss your validity too. Be careful of the example you set.
Load More Replies... Edda Kamphues 8 months ago
I had an outing to a communal market with my husband and 6month old daughter. She was sleepy, so I put a light cloth over the pram. Elderly woman comes up and loudly says "Is there anything alive under there?". I was a tearful mess after but some very kind onlookers reassured me that I had done nothing wrong.
Betsy S 8 months ago
Not always boomers. Trust me. Elderly women have been doing that forever. I'm a Baby Boomer and I got unwanted nosiness and advice with my kids 40 yrs ago. Those women were not boomers. They were two to three generations back. Stop blaming boomers for everything.
Roxy222uk 8 months ago
I'm Generation X and I remember when the older generation were blaming Boomers for their 'permissive parenting' leading to the downfall of humankind, LMAO.
Load More Replies... ILoveMySon 8 months ago
OP had to do her shopping! Although, I admit I would take my crying son out of restaurants, church, etc. But that's just me.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Hey I’m a boomer just lol being 60 n I would never ever do this to you ! I’m an older mum was 35 when I had my eldest 39 the youngest ! N I’d never ever shame a crying child in fact I’d read the room n offer to help if I thought It would be welcome , plz dont tar us older people with the same brush ok so I’m in uk lol n we kinder here but still x
#37
My MIL was a single mom that raised two boys. When my husband and I signed our 2.5 year old (at the time) up for daycare after having had a nanny, my MIL asked if our daughter would be going to daycare a full day, 9am-5pm. And I said yeah that’s when we work. And she said, but that’s such a long day. Like ?! She was a single mom, I’m sure she had her kids in daycare for “such a long day” too?!
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
I highly doubt it lol she,d have left em at home alone 😂or had free baby sitters aka neighbours, cos those where that kinda time , we don’t all have that support do we
Nils Skirnir 8 months ago
I don’t think anyone 20 -30 years ago had that kind of support. Maybe 50 - 60 or if you lived close to family, cuz there weren’t many day care options
Load More Replies... #38
I went to the grocery store an hour ago. I forgot to get green beans for my baby's purees. I wanted to make her chicken and green beans, but I'm infamous for forgetting important things. I forgot to get formula too.
Right before going, my daughter had a 6 0z bottle, which is what she should be eating for her age, but I had a feeling she was still hungry. So I fed her an entire sweet corn puree I made yesterday. And then I gave her 2 Oz of water. So she had quite a bit.
I changed her diaper before leaving and went to smiths.
While checking out, this old lady judgementally asks me "when is the last time you changed her diaper, it's full!". I'm not confrontational, so I just casually replied that I'd changed it 30 mins prior. She just stared at me doubtfully and then commented that it's too hot outside to be having a small baby out.
I don't want to be too specific, but my daughter is close to one year of age. And also, how am i supposed to grocery shop without her? Just leave her at home alone? The rest of my household was at work.
I get that she should be changed as soon as possible, my baby has only ever had one diaper rash so I'm not lazy (not that you are if you have troubles with this; every baby is different), but it was literally a 30 min grocery run.
I don't know. Maybe I'm taking it too personally. It just annoys me that her dad never gets comments like that, meanwhile I've had a few (of varying topics) throughout the months.
Forrest Hobbs 8 months ago (edited)
If you're out with a small child, there's always going to be someone somewhere thinking you're doing it wrong. FWIW, I've had comments directed at me doing it wrong and I'm the dad. 🤷
#39
Still breastfeeding at 20 months by a close friend and some family. Not outward shaming but definitely judgmental comments and implying that I am too attached / doing something bad for her. Makes me cry even writing this. Ppl are the worst!
Aileen Grist 8 months ago
Yes - moving her to bovine breast milk is considered normal - why? Your milk is so much better for her. We're the only species where a lot of people think it better/healthier for our young to be given the breast milk of another species in preference to their mother's.
Betsy S 8 months ago
That's not it. It's more about the "baby" not being an innocent infant anymore and is walking and talking and can walk up to you and lift up your shirt and ask for milk. That's REALLY disturbing for people who are not used to it. Fine in your own home with family, but not in public. And a child that age does NOT need milk while you're shopping. If you want to pump and put it into a sippy cup, that works, but exposing yourself for a literal walking, talking child is a bit "uncanny valley" for some people.
Load More Replies... #40
At my daughter's first swimming lesson, I was mom shamed by another mom because my 2yo daughter threw a tantrum after I forced her to take a shower after leaving the pool (you can read all about it on my post). I felt awful. But now I know she was just an a*****e.
That lady was also an a*****e. You daughter used her diaper while you were shopping. So what?
mria alternativa 7 months ago
It's in response to the OP in the reddit thread, which is currently at 38 here on BP.
Load More Replies... #41
I got pregnant shamed one time. We were at a funeral and another mom that goes to our sitter was pregnant also. And mind you she is tiny and I’m average. Both of us were Uber pregnant and her husband asked if I was ready to have my baby and I was like yea I’m exhausted. He said yea you’re looking a little swollen. Needless to say his wife heard him and he got it the whole was home and the next morning from her!!
Edda Kamphues 8 months ago
Me too: I was in a shopping centre and an elderly guy pointed at my pregnant belly and said "You see those everywhere these days". How did he think we procreate? Pollination???
Forrest Hobbs 8 months ago
I can't help it, I laughed out loud at this one. "See those everywhere these days"? 🤣 So, what? Aren't pregnant women allowed out any more? But as I typed these words, I thought "Oh dear, I bet that's a real thing somewhere, and probably something that some unspeakable people want to impose in other places too." 😬
Load More Replies... DrBronxx 8 months ago
Sorry, is that was "shaming" is? It just seems like a foot-in-mouth comment, not a malicious one.
Zoe Vokes 8 months ago
Agreed. Just a thoughtless comment whilst making conversation rather than trying to insult her. If his wife goes to the same sitter then they obviously have at least one child, and she’s currently pregnant so he knows about pregnancy. I doubt he meant to say, “your face looks fat,” or whatever else looking swollen meant to him.
Load More Replies... Debbie 8 months ago
How is this pregnant shaming? He is not shaming her for being pregnant is he? He is making small talk. He is not saying you are fat, large, big, about to explode or anything like that. He just tried to reply in an empathetic way ( "I can see you don't feel optimal") in a clumsy way.
Joe Reaves 8 months ago
'A little swollen' is definitely insulting and I'm sure he didn't mean it that way but it's not something a pregnant woman needs to hear so I don't blame his wife for telling him off.
Load More Replies... #42
We went on a carnival cruise and took our 4 year old to Camp Ocean every single night so my husband and I could go to the casino or the shows. We told my SIL about it and she goes: “I don’t think I could ever do that… how do you trust them?”.
Nils Skirnir 8 months ago
Doing it every night is excessive to me. Of course I don’t drink or gamble.
Crystalwitch60 8 months ago
Cos that’s the bloody point of kids clubs lol jeez sil entiled know it all lunatic eugh hope she don’t got kids 🤦♀️
#43
We had my best friend over for breakfast at our house one morning. She literally gasped and jokingly yelled my full name when she saw me add some sprinkles to my daughter's yogurt to get her to eat it. For context, she will never have kids.
What do you think ?
Little Bit 8 months ago
As a mother you can't win. Here in the UK if you are a stay at home mum you get called a "benefits scrounger" because you are not going out to work. On the other hand, if you choose to go back to work after having a baby, then apparently you are neglecting your child and you shouldn't be having kids if you can’t afford it.
Forrest Hobbs 8 months ago
Mmm. Dads get this sort of thing too, you know. The most memorable incident I experienced was being hassled by the actual police for supposedly not taking proper care of my child out in public. It was cold. Apparently, my child should have had a hat on. Yeah, great idea - only any time we put a hat on them, they took it off. Everything else was tickey-boo for cold weather and the child was obviously quite happy - so? 🤷
Load More Replies... Marianne 8 months ago (edited)
"What do you think motivates people to shame mothers in public?" Great question, BP. But the correct answer isn't on the list. Many of these people are simply unsure if they do/did everything right with their own children. And when they see parents doing it differently, they see it as an attack on their methods. So they make sure to show that what others do is wrong, because then what they did themselves must be right.
A girl 8 months ago
Malice? I think some folks like being miserable and would like others to feel that way.
Load More Replies... 
Robert Cosgrove 8 months ago (edited)
Some of these are just people being concerned. When stories come out about children being harmed or something happening to them, people always ask why someone didn't say something. A passerby making the sort of comment like above will sometimes save a child from being hurt
ILoveMySon 8 months ago
I hosted a dinner party when my son was approximately one y/o. He awoke from sleep during dessert. A guest from my office said I should "let him cry it out". Nope, not for me. Everyone has different ideas, and I don't believe in Ferberizing. This jerk didn't and still doesn't have children and was never invited to my home again. I am Mommy and know my child, thank you.
Babs McGurk 8 months ago
For most of these, my standard response would be, "I don't recall asking you for your opinion." Then I would turn and go about my business.
Julie S 8 months ago
Why do you hate America so much? Not a single post on here said it happened in America so why do you assume it is?
Load More Replies... Little Bit 8 months ago
As a mother you can't win. Here in the UK if you are a stay at home mum you get called a "benefits scrounger" because you are not going out to work. On the other hand, if you choose to go back to work after having a baby, then apparently you are neglecting your child and you shouldn't be having kids if you can’t afford it.
Forrest Hobbs 8 months ago
Mmm. Dads get this sort of thing too, you know. The most memorable incident I experienced was being hassled by the actual police for supposedly not taking proper care of my child out in public. It was cold. Apparently, my child should have had a hat on. Yeah, great idea - only any time we put a hat on them, they took it off. Everything else was tickey-boo for cold weather and the child was obviously quite happy - so? 🤷
Load More Replies... Marianne 8 months ago (edited)
"What do you think motivates people to shame mothers in public?" Great question, BP. But the correct answer isn't on the list. Many of these people are simply unsure if they do/did everything right with their own children. And when they see parents doing it differently, they see it as an attack on their methods. So they make sure to show that what others do is wrong, because then what they did themselves must be right.
A girl 8 months ago
Malice? I think some folks like being miserable and would like others to feel that way.
Load More Replies... Robert Cosgrove 8 months ago (edited)
Some of these are just people being concerned. When stories come out about children being harmed or something happening to them, people always ask why someone didn't say something. A passerby making the sort of comment like above will sometimes save a child from being hurt
ILoveMySon 8 months ago
I hosted a dinner party when my son was approximately one y/o. He awoke from sleep during dessert. A guest from my office said I should "let him cry it out". Nope, not for me. Everyone has different ideas, and I don't believe in Ferberizing. This jerk didn't and still doesn't have children and was never invited to my home again. I am Mommy and know my child, thank you.
Babs McGurk 8 months ago
For most of these, my standard response would be, "I don't recall asking you for your opinion." Then I would turn and go about my business.
Julie S 8 months ago
Why do you hate America so much? Not a single post on here said it happened in America so why do you assume it is?
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