“AITA For Calling My Mom Selfish And Telling Her It Will Be Her Fault When The Baby’s [Life Ends]?”
The thing about moms is that they can literally turn invincible when it comes to protecting their kids. And if it’s a mother of a newborn, then you shouldn’t even dare to cross her, because trust us, the result would be total devastation. The child means the whole world to them so they might activate aggressive mode and slaughter you with just words.
In such situations, they might not even spare their own family. Such is the case with this Reddit user whose patience was tested by her mom as she kissed the newborn behind the woman’s back even when the doctor had advised her not to. And the resulting conflict between the mother and daughter duo could be described as ferocious.
More info: Reddit
New mom’s mother who lives overseas came to help out with her two-week-old son, and she’s a very doting grandma but prefers to do things her way
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
As the baby’s immune system is weak, the pediatrician instructed that only the parents can kiss him, so the grandma agreed with the no-kissing rule after a little resistance
Image credits: u/ThrowRAScreamingBans
Image credits: National Cancer Institute (not the actual photo)
However, the woman found her mom kissing her baby behind her back and got extremely furious, even saying to the mom that if the baby’s life ends, it will be her fault
Image credits: u/ThrowRAScreamingBans
Image credits: Rene Terp (not the actual photo)
The grandmom was very upset by this and started packing her bags, while also complaining how she will never have a bond with her grandchild
Image credits: u/ThrowRAScreamingBans
She also told the woman’s aunt about this, who called her up and said that she should be ashamed of yelling at such a loving grandma
This story had an extremely happy beginning when Reddit user ThrowRAScreamingBans gave birth to a baby boy. While her mother lives overseas, she came to help out her daughter to take care of the newborn. And although she’s a very affectionate grandma, she loves to do things her way with the baby, causing a few problems between them.
For instance, the pediatrician advised the new parents that only they should kiss the baby as it has quite a weak immune system. So, they set up a no-kissing rule for her mother. She was reluctant but in the end, agreed to it. But this agreement was short-lived, for soon the original poster (OP) found her kissing the baby right behind her back!
Caught red-handed, the grandma justified herself by stating that the baby was now two weeks old and healthy, and they should start building his immunity this way. She even suggested that due to such rules, many children develop allergies these days.
The woman was completely triggered and grabbed the baby from her mom, even calling her a “selfish cow”. OP also stressed that if the baby’s life ended due to some disease, it would solely be her mother’s fault. She also wanted to kick her mom out, but the only reason she didn’t was knowing that she had nowhere else to go.
The grandmom was very upset by this reaction from her daughter. She immediately started packing her bags, while also complaining about how she was not welcome in her grandchild’s life and would never form a bond with him. She even texted OP’s aunt and told her everything. And the aunt, in turn, called up the new mom and said that she should be ashamed for yelling at such a loving grandmom whom the newborn was lucky to have.
The poster wondered if she went overboard when yelling at her mom, so she took to Reddit and asked netizens for their advice.
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
The people online were divided in their opinion regarding the whole situation. Many of them backed up the new mom for being protective of her kid. They said that kids can easily catch diseases if their immune system is weak and are constantly kissed by others and the woman had a right to call out her mom.
According to Pediatrics East, kissing a baby can lead to serious health consequences like RSV (respiratory syncytial virus), immune system vulnerability, allergic reactions, hand, foot, and mouth disease, and fever blisters. They advise that to prevent these, individuals should be educated about the risks and told to avoid kissing newborns.
It looks like the woman and most of the Redditors’ anger was rightly towards the grandmom if it could lead to something so severe. They said that it could have been harmful to the baby’s life as some have actually experienced it themselves. As per them, it was natural for the woman to lash out at her mother like that.
Research suggests, “Postpartum rage is a mood disruption that causes intense anger, aggression, and agitation in the weeks and months after a person gives birth. A new mom experiencing postpartum rage may be easily frustrated, feel like they hate their partner, lose their temper, or yell more often than before they were pregnant. It is often a symptom of postpartum depression or anxiety.”
On the other hand, some netizens said that the woman was right to set up boundaries based on the pediatrics’ medical advice. She was also right to get angry when the grandma crossed those boundaries behind her back. However, they said that the woman shouldn’t have lashed out the way she did by saying something hurtful like she would blame grandma if the baby’s life ended. People also thought that she went overboard by saying that she wanted to throw her mother out of the house, who had traveled from her home just to help her daughter.
However, the Redditors who called out OP were few compared to the majority who thought that the woman was right. They even applauded her for standing her ground and confronting the grandma. An article published by CNN Health says, “Globally, RSV is the second leading cause of death during the first year of a child’s life, after malaria. Between 100,000 and 200,000 babies [pass away] from the virus every year.”
When we take a look at this quite a high statistic, the mom’s reaction to trying to protect her baby does sound reasonable, doesn’t it? Or do you think otherwise? Don’t forget to let us know in the comments.
When the woman looked for advice online, the Redditors were divided in their opinions about whether the new mom’s actions were right or wrong
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When I was an infant I apparently caught facial herpes (coldsores) thanks to being kissed. In fact one of my very earliest memories is of sitting at a window feeling absolutely miserable because my mouth was full of sores and I was in a considerable amount of pain. Saying "it's your fault if he dies" was definitely a bit much, but she had made an agreement which she did not honour. I was told I couldn't meet my newborn nephew until I got my flu shot, and it didn't matter one way or the other if I thought it was necessary or fair - I abided by the parent's wishes.
People say a lot of hyperbolic things when irate. The grandmother could have givien the child any numberof diseases because she thinks she knows more then a doctor.
Load More Replies...I would say "it's your fault she dies" would be a bit much in a regular situation, but this is a mother who has just given birth and is most likely operating on very little sleep. It wasn't that long ago that my wife and I were parents of a newborn, and there was a lot that we were worried about as new parents. In this story, there was a lot of disrespect going on from MIL, and that isn't just angering, it's stressful. Couple that with being a new parent and I think, all-in-all, it wasn't an overreaction. Sure, an apology might be warranted later on, but at least (hopefully) now MIL knows how seriously OP is taking the situation.
When I was an infant I apparently caught facial herpes (coldsores) thanks to being kissed. In fact one of my very earliest memories is of sitting at a window feeling absolutely miserable because my mouth was full of sores and I was in a considerable amount of pain. Saying "it's your fault if he dies" was definitely a bit much, but she had made an agreement which she did not honour. I was told I couldn't meet my newborn nephew until I got my flu shot, and it didn't matter one way or the other if I thought it was necessary or fair - I abided by the parent's wishes.
People say a lot of hyperbolic things when irate. The grandmother could have givien the child any numberof diseases because she thinks she knows more then a doctor.
Load More Replies...I would say "it's your fault she dies" would be a bit much in a regular situation, but this is a mother who has just given birth and is most likely operating on very little sleep. It wasn't that long ago that my wife and I were parents of a newborn, and there was a lot that we were worried about as new parents. In this story, there was a lot of disrespect going on from MIL, and that isn't just angering, it's stressful. Couple that with being a new parent and I think, all-in-all, it wasn't an overreaction. Sure, an apology might be warranted later on, but at least (hopefully) now MIL knows how seriously OP is taking the situation.
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