Mom Blames Herself For Turning Her 9YO Into A Karate Girl Defending Friends From Bullies

OP is awesome, Alex is fabulous. and Hawk is a f*****g legend.

Hawk is a kickass person, and so is Alex. They are amazing human beings already - imagine what they'll be like as adults!

As a mother of two young children (3 and 7)... this woman is now a permanent inspiration of how to parent my kids. I want to be that mom that teaches them strong morals and that they know is always in their corner. I wanna be a mom like OP.

OP, you sound like a responsible, present, empathetic and amazing woman and incredible mom and I'd be proud to call you a friend. While "violence isn't the answer", and your daughter should have been taught in her martial arts classes what my sensei stressed ("we learn martial arts so that we never have to use them/the best way to win a fight is never to get in one"...yada yada) let's face it....there's a time when action is needed to for defense. Daughters school only taking one side? Infuriating for sure (also very common). I hope you're able to push the school to "investigate" a bit deeper to find the homophobic bullies were the perpetrators and your daughters record is expunged.

Hawk and Alex are warriors. Good warriors, the kind that stand up to evil, draw a line in the sand, and look it in the eye. Yeah, by all means have the adults take first crack at the problem, but those are kids to be proud of! Personally, I think schools have skewed anti-bullying to favor bullies instead of addressing it. It has to be more than lip service and platitudes. I hope there's no lasting physical problems due to your assault. It's sounding like the mental issues are well in hand! Kudos all!

The mum is great. Did all the right things. Hope she goes to the governors and hangs that student headmaster out to dry. That's not how things are handled in UK schools.

I am older, a boomer (I know get the pitchforks and torches). When we were in school we defended ourselves if we were bullied. It ended. Period. As soon as bully started getting away with it because the bullied would get in trouble for defending himself, school shootings started. The helplessness started. Do you know that school is the only institution that sets aside a persons right to self defense? An adult can defend themselves but a child can't. Bullies need punishment, but are protected. Bullied needs protection but are punished.

Bravo.

As someone who was bullied all the way through highschool,it wasn't just name calling though. For me it was getting beat up, having my clothes ripped, having my money stolen,and a lot more than that and a lot worse, I didn't know how to fight back, defend myself and this was multiple bullies EVERY DAY ALL THE TIME WITH VERY LITTLE RELIEF FROM IT! The schools rarely did much about it and from what I understand these days the zero tolerance policy means even the person who gets beat up gets punished for getting beat up, you should not expect much justice from this. You know that my situation the bullying drove me to drop out of school. The only reason I left is because I couldn't stand it anymore and because I didn't want to go to jail. My only solution I had left was to borrow my friend's metal bat and hit a mob of them. I told my mom that I wasn't going back. I Made her a deal that I would get a GED and go to adult education when registration starts but she couldn't make me go back because I would just take the bus back home every single day and the only thing I was learning in school was how to dodge bullies every day. I learned from my good friend at school that the bullies were literally GOING TO KILL ME that day. They had a knife and everything. It wasn't the 1st time a kid was stabbed at that horrible school either. The biggest mistake my parents ever made was switching me to public schools from private schools. I actually am proud of your daughter for defending her friend. The schools and their " zero tolerance" policy for bullying is hogwash. Victims get punished majority of the time. Schools need to nip it early so even when it starts it doesn't escalate to this point. Buy your daughter some ice cream because I am sure that someone mentioned the verbal bullying and the school did nothing way back when. BTW I think Alex is Awesome!

Schools are almost always so shìt at dealing with bullying, either ignoring it or siding with the bully or minimizing it. Good for Hawk.

The sensei should teach Sun Tsu's "The Art of War" along side karate.

Other than Cobra Kai being a bit much for a 9 year old, I don't see the problem. My stepdaughter was being harassed by a boy in middle school who was saying highly inappropriate and sexual things to her. She told teachers, she told the office, nothing was done. Her brothers were in high school (next door to her school) and I asked why they weren't protecting their sister. They said it wasn't their business... I darn near melted their ears off about taking care of siblings and protecting family. A few days later, the younger one beats the brakes off the kid when he sees him harassing his sister (ages were about 13 and 15). The school calls and give me the c**p "zero tolerence", "unacceptable", yada yada yada.

zero-tolerance policies are making things worse. Bullies get sneakier and if you try to defend yourself, you get punished. It's double jeopardy. Also, making the victim of an attack, sit down with the bully for 'conflict resolution', just gets the bully and his friends to follow you off campus for revenge.

All of the pansies in the comments that said she wasn't Justified she should have told the teacher first, you can all just straight f**k off go be a doormat and get your a*s whooped it's all good.. people like you are pathetic what this little girl did defending her friend is awesome and that Bully's going to think long and hard before he bully someone else

Could somebody clue me in as to why OP believes that the altercation is her fault?

My best friend was in a number of fights when she was in school. She was jumped in middle school and it just never stopped until she walked up to one of her tormentors and threw a punch that dented the locker an inch to the right of her head. Didn't matter that her tormentor was throwing razor blades at her and nicked her, causing her to bleed. My friend was obviously at fault, said the school. Suspended for violent behavior even though she chose not to punch the girl. Schools never do sh!t for the bullied. Better to teach children not to start fights, but how to end them.

Your daughter is AWESOME!! She's a hero to Alex and, honestly, we can all use a hero in our lives. Personal note to Hawk: YOU GO, GIRL!!

Well well well, now this is a great mom. Giving her daughter the strenght and confidence. And i really laughed hard at the part with dyeing her hair grey anf be over with her daughters teenage before it even begins

I LOVE this mom!

That school is ridiculous and I hope that bully learned his lesson

Against bullies violence is ALWAYS the best answer. This little girl is a heroin. Adults won't do anything to prevent bullying except sometimes talk to the bully (spoiler : that never works). I would have sent this POS headmaster to the hospital myself. Zero tolerance for violence but very tolerant about bullying I would remove my kid from that school and ruin their reputation.

When it comes down to it, violence sometimes IS the answer.

Telling an adult you're being bullied will only result in you being bullied harder. Only the naive think that teachers will do anything; They can't, the cacophonous screeching of the parents of bullies put an end to that. The only way to permanently deal with a bully is to lay them out flat.

The amount of people that clicked "girl was perfectly justified" in the pool is worrisome. You do realize that you just said the violence is the FIRST thing you should do? Do you treat others the same way? Do you punch people you get into altercations with? Do you hit your children instead of talking to them about bad behavior?... Really think about this. The only right answer here was "girl should've told teacher first".