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Mom Blames Herself For Turning Her 9YO Into A Karate Girl Defending Friends From Bullies
Bullying in schools is a very real and unfortunate problem. In fact, 30% of elementary school age children in the U.S. say they experience bullying while at school. And while in many cases there’s not much the children can do about it, some opt to defend themselves or their friends against bullies.
This nine-year-old girl couldn’t just stand idly while a classmate bullied her friend. The girl’s mom went on to Reddit to share the story of how the little superhero physically defended her friend against the bully and got some unfair reactions from the school’s administration.
Bored Panda got in touch with the mom who posted this story, u/TrueNefariousness462. She kindly agreed to tell us why she decided to share this story, what she thinks of the school’s reaction to this whole debacle, and offered some words of wisdom to parents in similar situations. Read our chat with her down below!
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When this mom signed her nine-year-old up for karate classes, she didn’t expect it might be useful at school
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
When a bully threatened her best friend with violence, the girl decided to show him what she had learned
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Media_photos (not the actual photo)
Image source: TrueNefariousness462
The mother posted an updated a day later, detailing her meeting with the school administrator
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Image credits: mauriciotoro10 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
Image source: TrueNefariousness462
The mom doesn’t blame anyone and hopes schools can become places where every child can feel safe
Image credits: Kobe – (not the actual photo)
u/TrueNefariousness462 tells Bored Panda that she decided to post to Reddit because it’s a great place to vent and ask for advice. “It’s been a hard few years and sometimes it’s hard to find someone to talk to,” the mom admits.
“Especially when you feel like you’re in the wrong. I fully believed that I had made my child feel like she had to [bear this burden] on her own. I just needed an outside perspective. Reddit really helps with that, especially due to the anonymity.”
In the update, she detailed how the school was seemingly taking the bully’s side, yet the mom hopes the school can be a safe space for everybody in the future. “If there is an issue, no child [should] feel like they have to tackle it alone.”
“I don’t want anyone feeling like they have to defend themselves and others, especially when talking it out is probably the only way you can truly get to the bottom of the problem.”
She hopes that the school staff becomes more informed on what to do in cases like these. “I would like for the teachers and support staff to truly get the support they need, whether that be more resources, access to more advanced learning to help deal with children’s mental health or even more play supervisors so they can be more available if needed.”
The mother also says she doesn’t blame anyone. “I don’t feel anyone is truly at fault, there has just been a lot of miscommunication or no communication which has led to gaps within their infrastructure where children are falling through and being left behind.”
She does, however, hope that the school will be more accountable in the future. “I entrust them to look after my child for seven hours a day, in that time anything could happen, I need them to be vigilant and honest, especially when it comes to instances of bullying”
“It’s okay if they didn’t see it firsthand, it’s okay if they didn’t know it was going on. But what are they going to do about it now [that] they know? No more burying their head in the sand.”
The Redditor believes all children deserve to be loved equally, no matter their gender identity
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
Many parents nowadays have to deal with similar judgments and pressures that ‘Alex’s’ parents had to deal with in this story. To u/TrueNefariousness462, this just doesn’t make sense. “Why choose hate?”
“A person’s, especially a child’s, identity is ever-growing, not supporting their individuality is just like cutting a flower off at its roots. We want what’s best for our children, and we want them to grow up in a world [that] is better than the one we grew up in: the only way that will happen is acceptance.”
“Children struggling with their identity may feel like they are different but [don’t] know why they feel that way. It’s your job as a parent to foster that feeling and allow them the safe space to figure it out. It’s also okay to admit that you need help as a parent too.”
“It’s hard, especially when you don’t think you know how to help, but you do, just be open and honest. Talk to your child without judgment or fear, your child is still your child, nothing will ever change that. They are still the same person inside, they will always be your baby.”
u/TrueNefariousness462 also had some encouraging words for parents whose children might be going through something similar, and to such children as well. “[To] all people who have struggled with gender identity, [whose] parents or peers have made their lives more difficult for being themselves, for anyone afraid to show the world who they truly are: please be the beautiful butterfly you are, you only make this world brighter, and you deserve to shine. Thank you for being you, I am glad you’re here.”
The Redditor also encourages adults and their children alike to not hesitate and sign up for martial arts classes. “You won’t regret it,” she says. “Be kind to each other, don’t waste your time and energy on hate.”
Some people congratulated the mom for raising such a strong-willed girl, others cautioned to teach her about the responsibility that comes with power
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What do you think ?
JoMeBee 2 months ago
This mom is awesome! Just from the way she tells her story, cares about both kids, and looks for solutions instead of a cycle of blame/excuse you know that they're (Hawk , Alex and Mum) are going to be all right. Best wishes!!! And the ex is a first class douchebag! Sure you can fall out of love with your partner, but you should never ever fall out of love with your kid!!!
Anthorn 2 months ago
dunno why someone down voted you, take this upvote ^^
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Scott Rackley 2 months ago
Some people only learn through pain and/or embarrassment. I took care of a bully in elementary school by wearing out a whiffle ball bat on him. One of the old sturdy yellow ones. If you hit someone enough times with one it warps and bends it all up.
Gwen 2 months ago
Like my dad always says "if you can't listen, you can sure feel!" I have lost count of the noses that I broke when I was a kid! I was either defending myself or one of my friends!
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JoMeBee 2 months ago
This mom is awesome! Just from the way she tells her story, cares about both kids, and looks for solutions instead of a cycle of blame/excuse you know that they're (Hawk , Alex and Mum) are going to be all right. Best wishes!!! And the ex is a first class douchebag! Sure you can fall out of love with your partner, but you should never ever fall out of love with your kid!!!
Anthorn 2 months ago
dunno why someone down voted you, take this upvote ^^
Load More Replies... Scott Rackley 2 months ago
Some people only learn through pain and/or embarrassment. I took care of a bully in elementary school by wearing out a whiffle ball bat on him. One of the old sturdy yellow ones. If you hit someone enough times with one it warps and bends it all up.
Gwen 2 months ago
Like my dad always says "if you can't listen, you can sure feel!" I have lost count of the noses that I broke when I was a kid! I was either defending myself or one of my friends!
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