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“AITA For Not Giving Away My Child’s Rare Backpack?”

“AITA For Not Giving Away My Child’s Rare Backpack?”

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Love, respect, and trust all have one thing in common: they’re built on a foundation of give-and-take. If you’re the only person who’s constantly sacrificing something in your relationships, then clearly, something’s gone wrong. This is why boundaries are so powerful. And like it or not, you need them when dealing with your family, too, if you want those relationships to be healthy.

Many of us have things that we love to collect and it would hurt us to see our prized possessions given away. A mom went viral after asking internet users for their input regarding an argument she had with her sister. The sibling wanted her niece’s rare backpack as a gift for her new boyfriend’s daughter, and got told ‘no,’ which caused a lot of frustration on all sides. Read on for the full story. Meanwhile, Bored Panda reached out to the author via Reddit for an update. We’ll update the post as soon as we hear back from her.

Certain Disney-themed backpacks are very popular among collectors and can cost a pretty penny

Image credits: corgilover607 (not the actual photo)

A mom asked the internet for advice after her a family argument got out of hand over her daughter’s rare backpack

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Image credits: megostudio (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Virtual_Rule_3256

If you’re a serious collector, some of these backpacks can set you back hundreds of dollars because they’re so rare

Being a collector can be expensive. According to Inside the Magic, some Loungefly backpacks can cost hundreds of dollars. For instance, the Disney Club 33 Emerald 55th Anniversary backpack can set you back around $249 but has been known to cost as much as $800 on eBay.

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Meanwhile, the Disney Sleeping Beauty ‘Make It Pink! Make It Blue!’ backpack has been bought by some people online for nearly $600 from resellers.

The Disney Club 33 Haunted Mansion backpack, on the other hand, will set you back as much as $450 on eBay. The Disney Blue Sequin Peter Pan backpack falls in a similar range, costing roughly $500 if you’re a die-hard collector. And if you’re a fan of Nightmare Before Christmas, the Zero Crossbody Bag can be bought for nearly $400 online.

Though at first glance it sounds peculiar to collect something like backpacks, the reality is that many of you probably have collections or fandoms that you deeply love. Some activities like collecting stamps or coins might be more popular, but at its core, this is no different than liking backpacks, shoes, postcards, miniatures, cars, video games, or wine bottle corks from a hundred different vintages.

The point is that you have a person who is passionate about a specific niche (or multiple niches). They want to expand their collection, talk about their hobbies with other like-minded people, and keep an eye out for rare items, new releases, and limited editions.

It can be a ton of fun to immerse yourself in one specific area, and it’s fine, so long as you keep a balance in your life. People are, after all, more than just collectors. You need to remind yourself from time to that other things are important too, from your relationships and health to your vocation and creative endeavors.

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Loungefly presents itself as being accessible to both casual fans and collectors, providing them with “unique designs that tell a story and allow you to show off what you love every day through your wardrobe.”

The company sells officially licensed apparel and accessories, which makes it a good fit for many fans, including lovers of all things Disney. It also doesn’t hurt that many of their designs, well, simply look good.

Many people collect things, but some folks can feel envious that others have items that they can’t get

However, if you search the internet, a common complaint among some commenters is that these backpacks can get incredibly expensive if they’re no longer being officially sold. That means that people have to look for other online vendors and resellers if they want a particular model or character.

In other words, your hobby can get incredibly expensive if you start treating it as something super serious. It can bring out a lot of negative feelings among your fellow collectors, too, from envy and jealousy to greed and the fear of missing out.

Objectively speaking, it’s not like anyone has to get their hands on a particular backpack to be happy in life. There are lots of other experiences and relationships in life that you can focus on instead. Life can be good regardless of what you’ve accumulated: who you spend your time with and how matters more than what you buy and keep.

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However, it would be unfair to demand that someone give away a part of their beloved collection, to which they’re attached emotionally. If someone’s forcing you to do something, it’s not charity.

Furthermore, it speaks volumes about someone’s values that they feel entitled to someone else’s property at the drop of a hat. If you’re demanding a prized possession from someone, the least you can do is orchestrate a meeting between that person and the one you want to give the backpack to. It can feel bizarre to help someone out whom you haven’t even met, at great cost to you. There needs to be some sort of burgeoning personal relationship there.

What’s your take on the entire situation, Pandas? Do you think the mom was right to enforce some boundaries with her sister or should she have relented? How do you maintain healthy boundaries with your family and friends? What things do you collect? Do you have any Disney-themed backpacks? We’d love to hear your thoughts. Oh, and if you’d like to, feel free to share photos of your collections in the comments, too.

The mom’s story quickly went viral, and she answered some people’s questions in the comments

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Many readers were very supportive of the woman. Here’s their take on the family drama

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However, not everyone was on the same page. Some folks were much more critical of the mom

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Read less »
Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Justinas Keturka

Justinas Keturka

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

Read less »

Justinas Keturka

Justinas Keturka

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

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TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a total win-win-win. Your daughter keeps her personal property, freaky presumptuous unknown teenager is kept out of her social media, and your sister's promised never to ask you for help again. Woohoo!

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTAs providing the usual "oh do f**k off, lol"... If anyone is acting entitled, it's the sister and the niece. You don't decide which of someone else's property you want and then get s****y when given a no. Also, clearly YTA did not read the part where the daughter doesn't actually have her own access to the tiktok.

CanadianDimes
Community Member
29 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Especially the one telling her to quit teaching her child to be materialistic and selfish - but it's okay to teach someone else's child to be exactly that??

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Bat cat in a hat
Community Member
1 hour ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey I want a Zero bag as well, give it to meeeeeee! Sister is so entitled, the kid is not even hers, all she wants is to score brownie points with the boyfriend! Zoey is 15 ffs, old enough to understand you don't get everything you want, it's a great life lesson as well, she could start saving to buy her own at some point so she'll be better at managing money than the adults!

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TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a total win-win-win. Your daughter keeps her personal property, freaky presumptuous unknown teenager is kept out of her social media, and your sister's promised never to ask you for help again. Woohoo!

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTAs providing the usual "oh do f**k off, lol"... If anyone is acting entitled, it's the sister and the niece. You don't decide which of someone else's property you want and then get s****y when given a no. Also, clearly YTA did not read the part where the daughter doesn't actually have her own access to the tiktok.

CanadianDimes
Community Member
29 minutes ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Especially the one telling her to quit teaching her child to be materialistic and selfish - but it's okay to teach someone else's child to be exactly that??

Load More Replies...
Bat cat in a hat
Community Member
1 hour ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey I want a Zero bag as well, give it to meeeeeee! Sister is so entitled, the kid is not even hers, all she wants is to score brownie points with the boyfriend! Zoey is 15 ffs, old enough to understand you don't get everything you want, it's a great life lesson as well, she could start saving to buy her own at some point so she'll be better at managing money than the adults!

Load More Comments
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