Entitled mom, exhausted grandma, poor kid. 😔

Be honest. You didn't need to do "errands". Generations of parents have taken their kids along while doing actual errands.

She pays her mother $115/day. Let's be generous and say the kid sleeps 8 hours a days so the mother is working 16 hour days. That's ~$7/hour. Even if the mother is well off, that's less than minimum wage. Sure it'd be great of she did it for free but it really feels like something OP is not saying (or self-aware enough to realize) going on here. The mother pay request feels like a move someone makes when they feel their kindness is being taken advantage of. She says sometimes it's 1-2 times a week, which is actually a lot for it not being someone's child nor being paid. Especially if you have a nanny. And how often is that nanny unavailable? And how are other accommodations not able to be made when they're unavailable? And she says sometimes it's only 1-2 times per month? The kid is 8. And based on OP's entitlement this has presumably gone of for 8 years.

Anyone who says NTA isn't getting the point. Op is telling her mother she needs to babysit, instead of asking her mother to babysit. Presuming and assuming, which is just taking advantage of another person, who maybe has better things to do than always be expected to watch a kid. That is the real message here.

My mom pushed me a lot about getting grandkids and how she wanted to babysit them and taking them out. Now she has had grandkids for 12 years and not offered to babysit a single time.Not even when I lost my baby before delivery and she just said "Oh, thats to bad" and I had to give birth to my dead baby alone as no other sitter was found (mum is retired and spends all time at home). At the funeral she did turn up, but the only words she uttered was that she didnt like the stairs to the parking lot and that it was a hassle walking from the car to the church (the priest and funeral service car had a parking right behind the church, prob meant we should have taken that one for her). She accepts visits from grandkids, if I arrange it all, and seems happy to sit and look at them, if they dont make to much sound or messes. I Wonder where that "my life goal is to be a granny" went.

She said she "only" asks for once or twice a week, that's a lot to be asking, especially if she doesn't give much notice. I think her mother asked for payment to try and show her daughter she felt like she was being taken advantage of. It's a lot to take on and some compromise is needed. Until I got really sick I would only occasionally ask my parents to babysit and I lived with them and wouldn't go out in the evening until after I had done the bedtime routine and my daughter was asleep. They had to help me more after I got sick and I was so grateful because they were the stability kiddo needed whilst I was in and out of hospital.

Hands down one of the easiest YTA ever..

She only babysits one or twice a week. Dude thats A LOT. Entitled mom, maybe cause you are used to her doing it for free. But still, come on.

I think grandma being “well-off” is immaterial; the woman’s mother is just pushing back and charging something so that the woman knows it’s not free.

I don't have children, but I don't like hearing people take grandparents for granted, as natural babysitters. They have a life too! Did you want children? It's up to you to keep them.

Unpopular opinion here: humans are the only species (or so I'm told) that outlives their reproductive years. There has to be a reason for that. When my children have children of their own, my only reason to exist is to help my children to ensure their children grow up healthy.

Asking you mom to babysit because you work is one thing but asking her to babysit just to run errands is taking advantage.

First off I have to say "your mom isn't your free, any time, built-in babysitter". I read a majority of the responses and I have to say Boomers were not terrible and selfish parents. My parents rarely asked my grandparents to babysit, the only time we went over to visit is when my grandma asked if my parents would bring us over. When I was a young, single mom my mom would babysit my firstborn on occasion. I would try to pay her but she always refused. So I would buy her groceries instead. YTA when you assume your mom will watch your child last minute, free if charge. Your mom raised you, you had a baby, that baby/child is your responsibility not your mother's. Grandparents have a life of their own, some even work. When you need a last minute sitter and you expect your mom to watch your child you're intruding on her time. Maybe she has to cancel her plans or call into work sick. Her time is valuable and you're taking advantage of her! Shame on you, pay your mother for her time!

I for enjoy every moment I can with my grandchild. Right now it's every Tuesday & maybe other days too out the week. Sometimes we go out to eat, some times eat @ home. As 4 babysitting (getting to spend more time together) I do not ask 2 be paid. My daughter ask way in advance if free, which about 90% I am

Why can’t she plan her “errands” during the time she supposedly has a paid nanny? She said the child support from her ex barely covers basic needs, but that means it does cover them, so is mom not also contributing to her daughter’s needs? If she has a PAID nanny I’m assuming she works and isn’t on government assistance so why is there no more money to offer mom if dad already covering kids food and general upkeep? Sounds like she might be mad her “errands” (eg likely lunch or drinks with friends, maybe a salon or nail appointment) wouldn’t be financially possible if she has to pay her mom for care. What a selfish little urchin. I bet SHE won’t be willing to watch her own daughter’s kids someday either for nothing, she doesn’t seem like she’d sacrifice anything for family but she sure expects them to do it. I don’t like her.

If you are willing to pay a nanny for her services, why not pay your mother who will take care of your child better than any nanny can do. She deserves to be paid. She is retired for a reason: she doesn't want responsibilities and she wants to enjoy her life how she pleases. I don't think taking care of her grandchild was one of them. Sorry. Just pay her for the best care your child can get.

Yes! I think that you are just expecting Grandma to babysit and not asking her. Maybe it was not convenient, maybe she had plans. maybe you are just being entitled. The Grandma card does not mean a free babysitter for life. It does not matter what Grandma's age is, she may not be feeling well. Maybe she does not have enough patience to watch the child. Ask her, and have a good discussion about everything. Hit the baby daddy up for more child support specifying daycare cost. If you did not have time to pre-plan for a sitter, it must not be work-related. Maybe your mom would like you to take her to lunch or bring over some takeout. You know, make her feel special!

always pay your babysitter, no matter who it is.

My husband and I watch our grandchild 2 days a week. The baby stays overnight. He is 15 months old and still gets up during the night. We love every minute, but it is a lot of work. I'm 60+ and work full time. My husband is retired. I make the baby food from scratch as I believe it's best for his growth. If he's not here, we might have leftovers for lunch and popcorn for dinner. We actively play with our grandchild, bathe him and do his laundry. It is definitely more work on the days he's with us. Sounds like the daughter was not asking her if she was available, but telling her mom ( grandma ) she was babysitting. There is a huge difference. Maybe grandma had some plans of her own! I also think the granddaughter is at grandma's house much more often than she is telling us in her story. I'd love to get the grandmothers side of the story!

Couple of questions need to be asked: 1 Are you social with your mother full time or has contact become only when you need a babysitting favor. 2 I might have missed i

My mother watches her great grandkids a few times a week. She doesn't ask for monetary payment, but when she needs help with something, like, having her car taken to the mechanic, or picking up a few things from the grocery, or fixing the lock on her front door, she feels free to ask for that help. And the parents are more than willing to assist her. And it's not like "I'll watch the kids if you do something for me in return". She loves being with the greats. It's a good time of bonding for all of them. And the greats love the time together just as much.

I personally would love to hear from the grandma. But it does seem like the entire story isn't being told.

my son lives next door to me and my widowed dad lives on the other side of my house. most people find that out and exclaim 'omg! that must be terrible!' nope. it's because we have boundaries. yes. the son/dil, etc will pop over unannounced but it's not often. but, when it comes to watching their son (and their two dogs, btw) they always ask if i have plans or if i feel up to it. that makes all the difference. for the most part, it's never a problem & on the few times when i have had an appointment i tell them that i will have to take him with me. the only time i got annoyed was this last summer because my house is just not much fun for an 8 yr old. they had missed the time to register him for a summer program so there wasn't another option as they both work out of down and different shifts. and, my annoyance was based in that i had wanted to do somethings without the responsibility of caring for a kid, whether that means grabbing my fishing pole for a few quiet hours or something els

Perhaps you are treating her as an employee to some degree. I don't think you intend to. However your saying you need hrr to come watch your daughter sounded more like telling than adking. I've been in a position somewhat like thus. I would have done anything if asked. But sometimes the ask was more of a direction that you woukd give an employee. Although I never asked for money. I coukd see feeling like if yoy treat me as an employee I'll charge you. It sounds like errands and her babysitting could have be pre-arranged with the mother taking part in the planning process.

Sounds like OP is demanding. "Only once to twice a week" where she demands her mother watch her kid? Yeesh! Ask her nicely, set up fun things for them, and offer her compensation. Or OP can learn to be a mother and take her child on errands. If the child is a handful, then maybe she's not doing a very good job parenting her.

Simple question: "Does the nanny work for free?" Then why should your mother when you use her as a replacement?

I'm more interested in knowing where's the dad?

If your mother demanded that you give her grandchildren, I’d say you’re entitled to demand free childcare from her. If not, then you need to pay her.

I am an American 69 year old grandmother who drives 42 miles roundtrip to help care for my 2 year old grandchild for 6 hours on Sundays (so my daughter and son-in-law can have time off together from parenting duties), as well as every Monday, Tuesday and recently added Fridays, 5- 6 hours each day. I pay for my own gas, bring my own lunch and don't expect payment; none has any been offered. However, even though I am retired from gainful employment, childcare has begun to feel like a part time job and I find myself exhausted on the few days I do have to myself to do things I need to do. I worked full-time when my children were little, they went to paid preschool/sitters and then public school. I changed my work hours to accommodate their schedules and attend after school activities. My parents and in-laws lived too far away. Visits with them were family time, not babysitting time. Parenting is a 24/7 responsibility that many young people don't seem to comprehend today.

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Dont think we need two sides. Grandma already paid her dues and sacrificed 18+ years of her time, sleep, hobbies, friends, vacations and everything else. Isn't that enough? Now she's free to do anything she wants and do the things she couldn't do for 18 yrs and this chic has an attitude about it. Grandma is on a fixed income, if u respected her, ud pay her. The times have changed. Look outside and read the atmosphere. Everything is more expensive, rent, mtg, gas, insurance, electric, food, car insurance, hairdresser, nail shop, everything. That money can help her pay for some of these costly things. Everything around us has gone up except our pay! No one can survive and live comfortably like they did back n the day. Grandma has bills too. I think this chic is selfish and treating her grandma like shite. If she can pay a Nanny then she can dam well pay grandma.

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Perhaps we should return to the days when women stayed at home until the children were grown up? Seriously, family shouldn't be paid to spend time with their children, but they should be asked, not expected, and you should have more than one option for babysitting.