Mum maybe wanted to go on the trip and took Lily with her. She didn’t pay for Lily to go on a holiday with friends, they went travelling together and mum probably paid her expenses as she couldn’t afford to go with her otherwise. Mum’s husband has died and sons live really far away, who else is she going to go to Europe with? Would he have gone on an 8 week trip with mum or did he just want an amount of money without providing the companionship?

He states it was a high school graduation present. He compares that to his sons & nephews card & $300 check. What her grandsons can't provide companionship?

I suppose Lilly was taken as companion/helper. She speaks languages and provides help and support. If lady take a grandsons- they will provide need and require entertainment. It would be totally different story.

Huh, it was Lily's graduation gift. It would be for her to have a companion. What she can't take the time to entertain her grandsons.

8 hrs is far away?! Try 23 hrs w/o rest stops! If I only lived 8 hours away from my parents I would see them at least every other month! Just 2-3 times a year is crazy, and now 1-2? They cannot speak the language due to not taking classes or spending time with grandma. Try repaying her some for raising you, but getting her grandkid time and the favoritism will lessen. Of course she is gonna favor the one there for her practically daily. But yes, guests get priority parking generally. So ESH I say. If he wants to rant, then pay up with quality time and avoid the neglect. The grandkids missed out majorly too spending time with Grandma!

Yes, 8 hours is far away. I live in the UK and we consider anything above 2 hours far away. We have a completely different frame of mind when it comes to time spent driving compared to America.

That's not neglect. I know plenty of people who live less than that who visit grandparents once a year. They have lives. You dont6know the schedule of the kids. It may not be doable. I grew up only seeing my grandparents once in a while. They mainly visited.

A one off saving for a trip is different from at least 6 years of school fees.

What about the college funds she has set up for her grandkids? Oops, you missed that one, didn't ya? Yeah good ole op admits later on that grandma has college funds set up for both boys.....

For ,6 boys...and notice he does not mention his brother having any problem with it. Sounds like he was spoilt by his parents, and now dad is dead, and he is starting to wonder if lily will share in the estate.

Really. Why would he speak on his brother's behalf when he's wondering about his behavior related to leaving. If he was spoilt his mother wouldn't be treating him & his family the way she does. She would of a least told Lily her son was visiting & since they are guests Lily can park her car on the street. Actually thatcisxwhat most people would do to welcome their guest. I've let guest park in my spot in the garage.

She also has one for Lily...after paying for her private school and Europe trip.

What does that have to do with anything. College funds never pay 100% for a college. There is a limitation on yearly amount that can be added. She of given her grandsons an equivalent to the cost of the European trip.

With more than Lily's fund, but he didn't say if what she spends on Lily vs. boys is equivalent or not.

Is it really about the money or the companionship that Lilly gives? The grandkids and he is never around. Yes, 8 hours sucks, but is doable to spend a weekend every other month...that is at least 6 times a year, with extended stays over holidays. Especially when the grandkids where growing up. Just seems he neglected his kids relationship with their grandmother. Has he instilled a respect for his mom and dad's culture and language? So much is missing for his side of the story.

It doesn't really matter, does it?

Based on the fact she gave Lily a trip to Europe & the boys a card & check for $300. I would say no.

When that started mom was a single parent, her circumstances might have changed. Grandma is also paying for his kids college. Maybe it was mom's trip to Europe and she wanted a companion.

He said she had a fund for college. Most college funds don't pay for all of college. There's limitations on the amount allowed per year to add.

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For sure she wanted comfort, not a party clown role. And honestly, would grandsons angry to go to Europe with granny? This guy drawen by pure jealousy, what is understandable but still dumb

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*agree

Has she ever been invited? The son lives 8 hours away. Also, is there room for her to stay with them, or is she expected to taxi back and forth from a lonely hotel a couple of hours a day because there is no room for her to stay? I know people like this and it is not a welcoming environment for the grandparents which puts them off visiting.

Wow. This is a good story you made up with nothing to support it. Why do you think it's all the son's fault. Resentment isn't built up in a vacuum.

This! My daughter would love to visit, but it's just much easier for me to go, plus I have a crapton of vacation lol.

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Why should she? Her son moved eight hours away. Only visits an average of twice a year. Disrespects her beyond belief. Tries to negate HER choices... Why should she even want anything to do with him?

You have nothing to support your story. Relationships are a two way street. Resentment is not built in a vacuum. It sounds more like his mother has no respect for your son & her grandchildren.

Not to mention "Europe" PROBABLY means Italy and France. Places that Lily is capable of conversing, and has shown an interest in; unlike her son ;-)

Or grandchildren apparently as the have an estranged relationship with her since she is just some relative they see 2-3 times a year growing up and now 1-2 times a year. Though I do want to know if she has the ability to make the drive herself and tried to offer to visit them? I wonder if she made effort too. I am very defensive to abandoned parents cause I live so far from mine and hate it. So, sometimes I will jump to conclusions. Wish I knew more.

If he is visting her a couple of times a year, she is not abandoned. If he knows enough of his mother's relationship with Lily is an indication of plenty communication going on. I grew up rarely seeing my grandparents. It didn't mean they were abandoned. There are other ways of communicating than in person. Families have things going on in their lives. You don't know what the boy's activities are or the parents responsibilities are.

I wonder if mom even drives and maybe for safety she did not want lily parking on the street. Lily is only 18...or about.

I'm wondering if there could be a written/written contract that Lily uses the driveway as payment for her and her mother's help. Plus if mom doesn't drive Lily parking there is a good idea.

Don't you think his mother would of told him that. She seems to tell him about everything else she does for Lily. I think Lily is getting more than enough payment for helping out. Private school, college fund, European trip for HS graduation. Do you honestly think granny isn't giving her money in other ways.

18 is an adult. She lives across the street. How dangerous is that. Wouldn't her own parents then have her park in their garage or driveway.

Even for a German like me..

Huh, I doubt Lily will be changing her diapers. This is a fairly one way relationship. Other than granny gets her daughter. Lily has basically been taught with her mother's doing that helping out someone has monetary value attached to it. Not that it is self-rewarding in itself.