Again, what's with the YTA's? For Heaven's sake! What the mother did wasn't anywhere near abuse. She did the right thing: a 14-year old should know by then that actions have consequences and in this case the consequences were that there is a better understanding on both sides of the situation. Children are more resilient and less fragile than some parents give them credit for.

How can anyone say that‘s child abuse? This is „teaching life lessons“. Something more parents should do.

A 14 year old is old enough to know how to warm a tv dinner or leftovers (assuming they’re available) and a 14 year old knows how to ride the bus. She didn’t prevent him from eating or getting to school she basically made him do it himself so he’d realize just how important it was to have a mom. I applaud her for her parenting. Tough love and reality checks are the only effective thing for kids sometimes

NTA. At least it only took 3 small doses of life without a mother, he didn't even get as far as laundry before he apologized and fessed up.

For all the fools saying she abused her child for mildly disciplining him by briefly showing what a world without her would be like, y'all need to grow up!!

It's a parents job to prepare kids to be adults. How can ANYONE say YTA to what this loving mother did? Doing any less would be a disservice, life will not be anywhere near this kind. Any boss would fire you, any partnership would end, any store would kick you out. All the people saying YTA explains why so many people are raised feeling entitled to be awful to everyone else.

If anyone wants to know about real child abuse then I can tell you some stories about my "dad" who is thankfully no longer with us.

A++ parenting! He acted out and then lashed out when being corrected, by saying something immature and absurd. Mom gave him a little taste of the life he was heading for, and he decided he didn't like that life, and learned his lesson quickly. Not only was Mom's parenting not abusive, it was incredibly effective and corrected the behavior in record time. Brava!

I think she was genius. She must have been a horse trainer in a previous life. Freaking brilliant. Immediate and understandable response to a "smart" maneuver he thought he pulled by saying that to her. No stewing, no lamentations, no violence, just being smarter than the subject you are teaching. I wish more big man cowboy trainers who love to beat up on horses would take that advice, but being smarter than their pupil is a far cry from being possible.

I mean some kids would have risen to the challenge and would love to make what they want for meals and to be more independent. And they would have been grateful. Or it would turn out like this and they'd still be grateful. If they just sulked and started starving themselves, they would need therapy - and hopefully they'd eventually be grateful that their mom provided it for them. This type of teaching usually works

He's 14. I'm still young enough to remember being that age. He was being an AH for no reason beyond peer pressure. Mom disciplined him appropriately. Not only taught him a lesson in regret, but they've both come out of it with a better understanding and appreciation of one another. All the YTA's are either spoiled little a**hats, or the parents of said a**hats.

Not even close to abusive. It was an object lesson. She tried to engage and was met with an unfocused stubborn reaction. He acted out to fit in. I'm embarrassed to say that I have done the same thing and got the same result. I appreciate what my mom did I'm 50 and am taking care of both my parents. I didn't damage my relationship with them.

It blows my mind how many people are so quick to use the "abuse card" when a parent punishes/teaches their child(ren) differently than they would like to think they would in any situation. CPS was called on me when I refused to give my son a cell phone until he was 16 years old. According to several people, I was abusing my son by not giving him a cell phone at an early age. If you can't guess, CPS and the police rolled their eyes harder than I did. I applaud parents who teach their children that there are consequences for their actions. If someone is using the "abuse card" like with this mother, then they really need to read a book called "A Child Called It" by Dave Pelzer. That will teach people what real abuse is like.

Can I just not have kids and skip all this? Doesn't sound worth it.

Ok. Who cares? Its resolved and families deal with kids acting up all the time.

There is a HUGE difference between teaching someone a lesson and "manipulating" them! Had she said, "apologize, and I'll stop acting this way," that -might- have been manipulation. It's -not- manipulation to act like someone means what they say, especially when that person is old enough to know better (and I think 14 is more than old enough - I remember being that age, and the first time I saw my mother cry.... I stopped after that).

Janelle Collard

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Hope OP asked Dear Husband to set his mom straight. She was totally out of line.

Wasn't this the plot of an "American Dad" episode? Is OP's name Francine?

The kid needs different friends. My older child started to behave the opposite, very polite and formal to me in highschool, because that was the norm among his new friends.

It sounds like the MIL needs to learn to mind her own business.

I always told my kids to listen to the voices in their heads and NOT their dumba** friends. Don't be a follower.

People who think abuse is having your kid make his own meal while having access to food and taking the school bus to school instead of being driven are f*****g insane and need to seriously get a dose of reality.

Can't enjoy anything anymore. Its all AI bullspit

Every child is different. OP knows her son. Refuting him wasn't going to work. He got what he wanted and learned moms aren't such a bad thing to have.

I thought this was excellently handled. He's learnt a lesson and I'd say gained respect for his mum too. Hopefully if he has any problems down the line then he'll be able to talk to her too 😊 I'm so glad this worked out well 😊

I thought the Mom handled it perfectly .... Kudos to her AND her son for working it out and healing the relationship. Where was Dad for all this? His son swearing at his parents and teachers deserves his attention too.

Coupla things... why did OP apologise for her actions? No need for that, she didn't do anything terrible. As for MIL... pfft, whatever. BUT why does the son need therapy? He actually sounds pretty well adjusted.

My 9-y old threw a tantrum the other day (after dinner), he was playing a game and was very very upset with it as it didn't go as he wanted. So I told him to stop playing the game for now. He got very angry at me and said he wished I was dead. I was hurt and very tired at the time, so I could not just "smile it away". There have been family members who lost their lives at my age. Beside it hurting me, what if I would fall I'll / die tomorrow ? He's blame himself for wishing me dead. So I never want him to say that again. So I figured I'd stop doing things for him until he calmed down and apologize. He went to bed still angry, and in the morning he asked for clothes (he only has 1 pair of trousers in his closet left and he didn't like those )and I said: if I'm dead then you'll have to sort that yourself. Same for breakfast. I told him to make his own lunch. He starts crying: if they at school all me why I don't have lunch I'll tell them my mom didn't make me some. I told him that he is

PS: Meagan Glaser - you're an idiot.

YTA ding-dums, I seriously hope your kids say they wish they didn't have you as a mother/father so you find how first-hand how it feels like before dumping your dumb takes on Reddit. The kid learnt that actions and words have consequences. I know, I was that kid at one point. I'm not saying I'm totally careful with my words now but at least I was wiser with them now than I was back then. OP just taught her kid a lesson and he figured it out soon enough. Yes, you can follow the leader at times, but not all the time and certainly not when you know he/she is about to walk headlong into one big F-up.

Pretty sure I said something similar as a bastard teenager and got the same treatment. Learnt my lesson and apologised.

Bill Cosby did something similar with his son. His son wanted to be like "regular people." So his father showed him how regular people live: getting a job, buying and cooking your own food, doing your own laundry, because "regular people" don't have maid service. After an hour to think about it, Cosby's son said, "I don't want to be like regular people." Strategy works with teens.

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She could have pulled a day of not doing things for him and gotten the point across. But she didn't tell him she was making a point or explain the lesson she thought she was teaching. If you tell your kid, essentially, "if you upset me, I'll abandon you" and they suddenly are doing everything you could ever ask of them, you didn't FIX the relationship. It's not "better than ever." You've scared them. You threatened them and they're reacting. It looks like roses to her because she sees the kid saying "omg, no, I don't actually want you to stop being my mom!" but she's missing that he's also saying "I'm doing the dishes so you don't stop being my mother. I'm cleaning my room so you don't stop being my mother. I'll smile and not swear in front of you so you don't stop being my mother."