Periods are a natural biological function and a fact of life for women. However, they’re seen as a taboo subject in many parts of the world for either cultural or religious reasons. Trying to push them out of sight and out of mind is especially damaging for all women, and a recent Reddit thread highlights an example of this.

As one mother was too uncomfortable to explain periods to her 13-year-old daughter, she asked the girl’s aunt to step in instead. They had the discussion about the “birds-and-the-bees” and the aunt showed the girl how to use sanitary pads. Some time later, the girl needed more help as she had situations with leakages and it was causing her embarrassment at school.

But after offering the girl tampons to use and resolving the issue, the mother was outraged. She claimed that the tampons would “take her virginity” and thought the aunt was out of line. Confused by what had just happened, she asked Reddit if she was in the wrong for doing what she thought was necessary for helping a young girl where her mother refused to.

See the story below for all the details.

A 13 Y.O. girl is given period advice by her aunt after her mother is too embarrassed to talk about it

Image credits: Shutterstock (not the actual photo)

As menstruation isn’t talked about enough, it’s often subject to strange rumors and myths. In a series from Tampax looking to break down these myths, they state: “Using a tampon (which is actually considered a medical device) for your period does not change your virginity status. Tampons are small, and can usually be inserted through the existing opening of your hymen — how do you think all the blood and blood clots on your period come out?”

The mother felt awkward about it due to her religious background

Doctors and medical professionals can answer this better. Dr. Julia Brown Lancaster explained the technicalities of women’s bodies that cause some confusion about tampons and virginity.

“Girls who are virgins usually have a hymen, a very thin piece of skin-like tissue that stretches partly across the opening of the vagina,” she said. “A lot of people mistakenly think that a girl is only a virgin if her hymen has not been broken. Most of the time a girl’s hymen breaks after having sex for the first time, but it can tear in ways that have nothing to do with having sex.”

She continued, “For example, it is possible that inserting a tampon might tear the hymen (although that usually doesn’t happen). So, even if a tampon does break a girl’s hymen, she is still a virgin until she has had sexual intercourse.”

The young girl knew nothing about periods so the aunt explained and gave her sanitary pads

It’s always better to dispel the myths surrounding a topic by talking about it more. Another sanitary product sought to do the same in a recent marketing campaign of theirs. In 2020, DAME made headlines for an advert that was the first of its kind in the United Kingdom.

The advert — shown across buses in London — was unique for depicting a tampon string hanging out of a woman’s underwear and being approved by advertising officials. More than just an advert, it was part of a wider campaign to normalize the image around periods and sanitary products.

The aunt then gave the girl tampons as the girl had embarrassing issues with leakages

In a statement about it, they said, “For too long, periods have been hidden away, avoided in conversation or whispered about in coded language. This only perpetuates the outdated narrative that periods are in some way shameful or dirty.”

“Periods are a normal, natural bodily function for girls, women and people who menstruate. They’re not dirty or unhygienic. There’s no need for stigma. It’s just blood. Normal, natural blood. Collected in a pad, tampon or cup. Nothing radical about it.”

But the mother was upset and said tampons were taking the girl’s virginity

A study was commissioned by THINX (a period-proof underwear producer) and completed by the New York Post regarding how periods are viewed in society. 1,500 women and 500 men answered the poll and highlighted some startling facts. 58% of US women have felt embarrassed by their period and 42% have even been shamed for it.

“Period-shame is something a lot of women feel, starting with their very first cycle, which can occur as young as eight years old,” a spokesperson from THINX said. “Those feelings of embarrassment and self-hate are then reinforced by society, which tells women that their bodies should be clean and tidy.”

The aunt asked if she overstepped her role in this situation

Image credits: advanced__tiger879

The shame felt by women often causes them to refer to their period by more palatable names. In the study, names such as “time of the month”, “monthly visitor” or “mother nature” were the most commonly used.

It seems like the words ‘period’ or ‘menstruating’ are too much for people to handle. In fact, the first time that a period was mentioned on US television without a euphemism was in 1985. It’s bizarre to think about it, considering the long history of television by that point. Tampax — or rather, a pre-Friends Courteney Cox — was “daring” enough to utter the six-letter word.

But the people in the comments strongly supported the aunt and were shocked by the mother’s attitude

We don’t know all the details that led to this mother being misinformed about periods, however, the aunt does mention that their own mother refused to talk about the subject as well. The intergenerational censorship of menstruation and period products doesn’t help anyone. If the attitudes to it are ever going to change, a healthy discussion needs to be opened up. After all, it’s a natural, healthy thing anyway.

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