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Mom Ends Up Screaming After Kid’s Revenge: “Must Have Developmental Disabilities”
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Mom Ends Up Screaming After Kid’s Revenge: “Must Have Developmental Disabilities”

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Your parents are supposed to be there for you, but while Reddit user Front-Restaurant2366 was growing up, his mom added a lot of unnecessary pressure and confusion.

In a heartfelt post shared on r/PettyRevenge, the man opened up about the emotional toll that came with her consistently trying to convince him—and everyone else—that he had a developmental disorder, despite thriving in school and daily life.

Even medical professionals couldn’t get her to change her mind.

It takes a while to figure out the sort of person you are and want to become

Image credits: Caseen Kyle Registos/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

And getting “diagnosed” with conditions you don’t have just makes things worse

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Image credits: amenic181/ Envato (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Front-Restaurant2366

An autism diagnosis can, indeed, be tricky, but it’s difficult to understand why the mom didn’t take the doctor’s word for it

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Image credits: Curated Lifestyle/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

We got in touch with the author of the post, and he told Bored Panda, “My mom is absolutely crazy, as I wrote in the post, but these things happen a lot with fellow Asian parents. My mom just happens to be one of the craziest.”

For those who might object, Front-Restaurant2366 added, “You can visit r/AsianParentStories for more stories about insane Asian parents. I’ll also say that it’s nothing uncommon in my country, as similar stuff happens in the families of my peers.”

The autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder affecting about 1.5% of the population.

It can look very different from person to person. Each individual exhibits a unique set of symptoms and different degrees of severity, which can make the diagnosis challenging.

One of the biggest issues is the co-occurrence of other disorders. Roughly 70% to 80% of autistic people with milder forms of ASD are also diagnosed with another psychiatric condition. More than half of young autistic children have four or more other conditions.

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A 2020 paper showed the following rates of prevalence of the other psychiatric conditions found in autistic people:

  • 20% had anxiety disorders;
  • 11% had depressive disorders;
  • 9% had obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD);
  • 5% had bipolar disorder;
  • 4% had schizophrenia spectrum disorder.

ASD can manifest itself in a number of symptoms, ranging from mild to severe. The most common include:

  • difficulty interpreting what others are thinking or feeling (including body language, facial expressions, and social cues);
  • intense special interests;
  • repetitive or ritualistic behaviors;
  • trouble managing and regulating emotions;
  • difficulty understanding idioms or nonliteral language;
  • difficulty with conversational skills (keeping a conversation going or the natural give-and-take of a conversation);
  • strict daily routines or becoming emotionally distressed when routines are changed;
  • trouble with using vocal or emotional inflection while speaking.

But whether a diagnosis is given in childhood or adulthood, the important thing is getting it right.

Image credits: Hongwei FAN/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

“As a neurodevelopmental disorder, autism can be challenging to diagnose. There are no physical differences or indications of autism. Instead, the child’s behavior, communication, and social skills are where to look for the presence of autism,” wrote David F. Velkoff, M.D., the medical director and co-founder of the Drake Institute of Neurophysical Medicine, and a leading expert in treating ADD/ADHD, and ASD.

“Parents, teachers, childcare workers, and others who regularly interact with the child are usually the first to notice delayed or atypical development. Active monitoring and regular check-ins will help make sure symptoms are identified as early as possible. One common misdiagnosis of autism, such as confusing it with ADHD, can best be avoided by tracking your child’s development and noting any and all symptoms.”

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However, a mere opinion that someone has ASD is nowhere near enough to ascribe them to the diagnosis. “If signs of autism are present, your pediatrician may perform an autism evaluation,” Velkoff said. “They will look at your child’s development and whether they are reaching milestones along with peers and may observe how the child interacts with others. These processes … help rule out the presence of other conditions similar to autism.”

Part of the reason for autism misdiagnosis is that no lab test or brain scan can be used to definitively identify the condition. Maybe that’s why the Redditor’s mother couldn’t be convinced that her son is fine, too.

“Many of my elders tell me to ‘let it go’ and ‘move on’ when they hear stories about my mom,” the Redditor added. “They do love and support me, but they just genuinely think that’s how we deal with abuses like this. It’s so sad, but that’s how our elders approach things.”

As people started reacting to the story, its author joined the discussion in the comments

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The mom has received a lot of criticism

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

Read less »

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother does this, but using religion as the control mechanism. I am actually autistic, have now got a net worth that is a double figure multiple of hers (I'm not rich, she's just not very well off), but according to her, I'm useless, incapable and need her help urgently.

Rdj
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An ex self diagnosed himself with aspergers and I think he was right. The psychiater said he had borderline, but the pots needed to be in the same place, no changes, ask weeks in advance, could not recognize expressions sounded more like Asperger to me too. Anyway what he loved was videogames and he was very good at it and programming.

MadRatter
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have borderline personality disorder and there are so many different ways to be borderline. Has he done tests? There are two questionnaires you have to take and your answer gives the psychiatrist an idea whether you have BPD and which type. I have a friend who's just been diagnosed with BPD, and her's is very different from mine. Borderline is more an umbrella term. Hope that clarifies things 😊

Load More Replies...
James016
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

S**t like this boils my p**s as the parent of an actually autistic child. We were friends with someone who was always asking what our son was like etc, first we thought she was just interested but it turns out she was using us for information on how our son is so she could take that to a GP to get her own diagnosis, she was not autistic at all.

OneWithRatsAndKefir
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, ASD is a spectrum, so it wouldn’t have been impossible for her to be on the spectrum (if you looked at me and my brother, most people would probably assume that only he has ASD (when in reality both of us do)), but the way you describe it does sound a bit off. I assume she was a fully capable, independent adult woman and ‘suddenly regressed’ when she went to the GP after she learnt more about your son’s ASD? But either way, the mom from OP’s story does have an unhealthy fixation on having an ASD child (or two, from what it sounds like about OP’s brother); in reality, I doubt she’d last a week with my brother.

Load More Replies...
Margrete Sonnenberg
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I raised an eyebrow when the mom said they couldn't be veterinarian because they have autism. My friend has Autism they went to college to become a vet, last time I check she was a vet's assistant.

Surly Scot
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children on the spectrum need more encouragement, not less. They need to know that the world may view them as having a handicap, but then can work with that handicap and turn it into a skill that surpasses all their peers. I've seen people on the spectrum end up as doctors, vets, scientists, famous artists, musicians - all wildly successful. Not every child on the spectrum will achieve the same level, but they will achieve nothing if they're not encouraged properly.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree with you. The OP's mother is totally obsessed with simply the possible perceived weaknesses. There is nothing of encouraging the OP for any of their achievements and strengths. Even with a diagnosis or indeed any child without special needs, it should be a given of decent parenting that it involves a modicum of praise and encouragement for effort.

Load More Replies...
Cee Cee
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't she know there are tools like scissors especially designed for lefties? Ned Flanders had a shop full of things I seem to remember from an old Simpsons episode. Im sorry you didn't get to vetinary college but I hope you feel fulfilled by your eventual choices. She's bonkers, you most definitely are not.

iseefractals
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have ADD/ADHD, was diagnosed when i was 15, and while medication did help, the only effective meds (for me) are not available in Romania....so i've been unmedicated for....14 years now. I have two modes of operation.....if i'm interested in anything, i'm obsessive about it (or task oriented goals, once i start i do not stop until i'm done) if i'm not interested in something, i simply cannot muster the energy or willingness to engage. No matter how important....and i'm one of the lucky ones that also has depression as a result....so when those little things snowball, it feeds the depression spiral. It's not a "fun" or "quirky" thing, and it's not the same as being scatterbrained, or procrastinating, just the same that depression isn't the same as "i'm not smiling right now, or i lack motivation, depression sucks tee-hee!" Pisses me off to no end seeing fuckwits self diagnose, or diagnose others as a means of excusing their flaws.

CBolt
Community Member
22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your ADD/ADHD summary perfectly describes my brother-in-law for abt 60 years - until he was, finally, properly diagnosed & got the right meds & the difference has been remarkable. I'm so sorry that you don't have access to the meds you need & you're brave to keep on persevering.

Load More Replies...
Nelson Álvarez Sáez
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You'd be shocked at how many similar cases I saw during my 30 years as a teacher. More and more every year. Parents "pathologizing" (making up a disease from) their children's every single personality trait, attitude, etc. They seek for professional help. The doctor tells them there's no health problem whatsoever. They ask for a second opinion. The second doctor "finds" something (usually Asperger's or school phobia) so the first doctor is discredited. Eventually, the second doctor gets a good reputation among parents because they can "find" what the kids are suffering from, so the number of children with fake/wrong diagnoses grows and grows.

A Jones
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they were really sincere about the whole mental thing, they should have gotten an official evaluation. The self-proclaimed stuff is just a tool for control.

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother and my half sister shared their Munchausen's. First my mother used to tell me (UK) that my stepfather was dying and I should fly home (Saffa). Yeah... He lived many years after my "saying goodbye" and was very much alive and well when I did. Then she tried that with upscaling my sister's medical conditions - highlights including fragile syndrome X and a "tumour the size of a grapefruit on her ovary" while wishing me happy 40th. I stopped that buck by phoning the hospital and speaking to the consultant myself about the pea sized cyst seen on scan. She kept it up for a few years until she realised I was no longer playing ball. She passed the baton on to my h/sis when she herself became ill. And Kris took it with relish and kept emotionally blackmailing myself and my brother until we stopped listening to her and went directly to the doctors. The last time she tried, my brother forwarded the WA chat from the doctor into our chat. It was the last time she got to ...

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

... try that s**t because my mother did actually die a few weeks later. This was expected for someone who had first been resuscitated in 1992 and somehow beat all the olds to live another 30+years. I no longer have contact, my brother has the absolute bare minimum after she upscaled a "robbery" one night in a bid to get him to buy them a new car (he has worked himself into money, she has stayed in MLM and unemployment willingly).

Load More Replies...
CBolt
Community Member
22 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTH?? I 1st thought of Munchausen by proxy too but that's usually an attempt to get attention & sympathy & it doesn't sound as if she's getting any of that. Maybe too many other Asian parents are doing something similar, as OP explained, so don't really have the time or interest in giving her the positive feedback she would be looking for. & She certainly didn't get any satisfaction from the dr she took OP to. But OP!!! I can't imagine how he has survived, thrived, so magnificently! (How does she reconcile his "developmental disorder" with his academic success? But I suppose "crazy" has its own internal logic.) What a terrible way to grow up but I know he's looking forward to his freedom from all this ('tho she'll never back down from her belief in her "diagnosis') as soon as he finishes school & wish him every happiness. PS: OP, your English is VERY good & the correct use of punctuation is impressive. AND, I still love Lego - I remember when it 1st came to the US & all the pieces were blocks - no Star Wars or Harry Potter sets!

AR
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ll take “Things That Didn’t Happen” for $500

TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her vibe and focus are all wrong for autism. I'm more inclined to place my money on lack of self discipline main character control freak.

Load More Replies...
TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother does this, but using religion as the control mechanism. I am actually autistic, have now got a net worth that is a double figure multiple of hers (I'm not rich, she's just not very well off), but according to her, I'm useless, incapable and need her help urgently.

Rdj
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An ex self diagnosed himself with aspergers and I think he was right. The psychiater said he had borderline, but the pots needed to be in the same place, no changes, ask weeks in advance, could not recognize expressions sounded more like Asperger to me too. Anyway what he loved was videogames and he was very good at it and programming.

MadRatter
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have borderline personality disorder and there are so many different ways to be borderline. Has he done tests? There are two questionnaires you have to take and your answer gives the psychiatrist an idea whether you have BPD and which type. I have a friend who's just been diagnosed with BPD, and her's is very different from mine. Borderline is more an umbrella term. Hope that clarifies things 😊

Load More Replies...
James016
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

S**t like this boils my p**s as the parent of an actually autistic child. We were friends with someone who was always asking what our son was like etc, first we thought she was just interested but it turns out she was using us for information on how our son is so she could take that to a GP to get her own diagnosis, she was not autistic at all.

OneWithRatsAndKefir
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, ASD is a spectrum, so it wouldn’t have been impossible for her to be on the spectrum (if you looked at me and my brother, most people would probably assume that only he has ASD (when in reality both of us do)), but the way you describe it does sound a bit off. I assume she was a fully capable, independent adult woman and ‘suddenly regressed’ when she went to the GP after she learnt more about your son’s ASD? But either way, the mom from OP’s story does have an unhealthy fixation on having an ASD child (or two, from what it sounds like about OP’s brother); in reality, I doubt she’d last a week with my brother.

Load More Replies...
Margrete Sonnenberg
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I raised an eyebrow when the mom said they couldn't be veterinarian because they have autism. My friend has Autism they went to college to become a vet, last time I check she was a vet's assistant.

Surly Scot
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children on the spectrum need more encouragement, not less. They need to know that the world may view them as having a handicap, but then can work with that handicap and turn it into a skill that surpasses all their peers. I've seen people on the spectrum end up as doctors, vets, scientists, famous artists, musicians - all wildly successful. Not every child on the spectrum will achieve the same level, but they will achieve nothing if they're not encouraged properly.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree with you. The OP's mother is totally obsessed with simply the possible perceived weaknesses. There is nothing of encouraging the OP for any of their achievements and strengths. Even with a diagnosis or indeed any child without special needs, it should be a given of decent parenting that it involves a modicum of praise and encouragement for effort.

Load More Replies...
Cee Cee
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't she know there are tools like scissors especially designed for lefties? Ned Flanders had a shop full of things I seem to remember from an old Simpsons episode. Im sorry you didn't get to vetinary college but I hope you feel fulfilled by your eventual choices. She's bonkers, you most definitely are not.

iseefractals
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have ADD/ADHD, was diagnosed when i was 15, and while medication did help, the only effective meds (for me) are not available in Romania....so i've been unmedicated for....14 years now. I have two modes of operation.....if i'm interested in anything, i'm obsessive about it (or task oriented goals, once i start i do not stop until i'm done) if i'm not interested in something, i simply cannot muster the energy or willingness to engage. No matter how important....and i'm one of the lucky ones that also has depression as a result....so when those little things snowball, it feeds the depression spiral. It's not a "fun" or "quirky" thing, and it's not the same as being scatterbrained, or procrastinating, just the same that depression isn't the same as "i'm not smiling right now, or i lack motivation, depression sucks tee-hee!" Pisses me off to no end seeing fuckwits self diagnose, or diagnose others as a means of excusing their flaws.

CBolt
Community Member
22 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your ADD/ADHD summary perfectly describes my brother-in-law for abt 60 years - until he was, finally, properly diagnosed & got the right meds & the difference has been remarkable. I'm so sorry that you don't have access to the meds you need & you're brave to keep on persevering.

Load More Replies...
Nelson Álvarez Sáez
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You'd be shocked at how many similar cases I saw during my 30 years as a teacher. More and more every year. Parents "pathologizing" (making up a disease from) their children's every single personality trait, attitude, etc. They seek for professional help. The doctor tells them there's no health problem whatsoever. They ask for a second opinion. The second doctor "finds" something (usually Asperger's or school phobia) so the first doctor is discredited. Eventually, the second doctor gets a good reputation among parents because they can "find" what the kids are suffering from, so the number of children with fake/wrong diagnoses grows and grows.

A Jones
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they were really sincere about the whole mental thing, they should have gotten an official evaluation. The self-proclaimed stuff is just a tool for control.

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother and my half sister shared their Munchausen's. First my mother used to tell me (UK) that my stepfather was dying and I should fly home (Saffa). Yeah... He lived many years after my "saying goodbye" and was very much alive and well when I did. Then she tried that with upscaling my sister's medical conditions - highlights including fragile syndrome X and a "tumour the size of a grapefruit on her ovary" while wishing me happy 40th. I stopped that buck by phoning the hospital and speaking to the consultant myself about the pea sized cyst seen on scan. She kept it up for a few years until she realised I was no longer playing ball. She passed the baton on to my h/sis when she herself became ill. And Kris took it with relish and kept emotionally blackmailing myself and my brother until we stopped listening to her and went directly to the doctors. The last time she tried, my brother forwarded the WA chat from the doctor into our chat. It was the last time she got to ...

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

... try that s**t because my mother did actually die a few weeks later. This was expected for someone who had first been resuscitated in 1992 and somehow beat all the olds to live another 30+years. I no longer have contact, my brother has the absolute bare minimum after she upscaled a "robbery" one night in a bid to get him to buy them a new car (he has worked himself into money, she has stayed in MLM and unemployment willingly).

Load More Replies...
CBolt
Community Member
22 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTH?? I 1st thought of Munchausen by proxy too but that's usually an attempt to get attention & sympathy & it doesn't sound as if she's getting any of that. Maybe too many other Asian parents are doing something similar, as OP explained, so don't really have the time or interest in giving her the positive feedback she would be looking for. & She certainly didn't get any satisfaction from the dr she took OP to. But OP!!! I can't imagine how he has survived, thrived, so magnificently! (How does she reconcile his "developmental disorder" with his academic success? But I suppose "crazy" has its own internal logic.) What a terrible way to grow up but I know he's looking forward to his freedom from all this ('tho she'll never back down from her belief in her "diagnosis') as soon as he finishes school & wish him every happiness. PS: OP, your English is VERY good & the correct use of punctuation is impressive. AND, I still love Lego - I remember when it 1st came to the US & all the pieces were blocks - no Star Wars or Harry Potter sets!

AR
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ll take “Things That Didn’t Happen” for $500

TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her vibe and focus are all wrong for autism. I'm more inclined to place my money on lack of self discipline main character control freak.

Load More Replies...
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