I think his focus on children living un the same household is entirely appropriate. Treating some as haves and others as have nots in the same household is awful. As far as putting the money in trust, it's a great idea, but the feelings of all children in the home, based on what's happening in their lives matters (Edit to clarify: the other kids should not expect trust funds, but should have equal treatment in their home growing up)

I think a point that many are missing in this situation is that marriage is a partnership. Whatever the particular arrangement about assets is going to be, discussing this stuff ahead of time - before committing to marriage - is essential. The woman's finance and kids aren't entitled to the woman's assets, BUT the finance is entitled to adequate information about it ahead of time so he can plan accordingly. And while I do believe that generational wealth should be protected, their situation sounded like a recipe for disaster and they should have planned better including the woman. Blended families are hard enough without one kid having way more than the others do. A parent should know to expect that before committing. Personally, I wouldn't subject my kids to daily favoritism either - not in a gold digger sense, but just a sense of fairness and harmony.

Personally, despite the internet's idea that everything is black and white, I think they both make valid points and are both being TA. I'm sure there are many people with different views on inheritance than me, but while I think it is reasonable to keep some ringfenced for the daughters part of the inheritance, her approach is creating a two-tier household. His approach of "everybody should have the same" isnt exactly reasonable either. How they planned to live their lives and split finances should have been discussed much sooner and perhaps they could have avoided this mess.

I don‘t think the guy is selfish or greedy. He just does not want his kids to feel „less than“. If I understood it correctly, he would be perfectly ok with no pony at all (as an example). He is just a Dad who wants what‘s best for his kids. To feel equally loved. I understand her too and if it comes to schools, this is a real problem… maybe they could explain it to the kids? About the pony: I wouldn‘t buy one. She can ride in a stable. She does not need her own Pony.

I have only step daughters, by choice I have no natural children. I inherited a lot of my grandmothers and aunts jewelry, most of it will go to my nieces. What wealth I build will be split among my daughters.

I sort of get it. But if I got a fortune I would NOT buy my bio son a freaking pony. And i would 1000% being putting an equal amount in my stepdaughters college fund as I did my bio son. So - if my husband got an inheritance and acted the opposite, I would also be very unhappy. Though instead of debating it - I would LEAVE him.

She just downgraded herself from "love of my life, equal partner" to "convenient rent saver". If she can't have difficult conversations about money and priorities, or even a "we" mindset, she is not mature enough to get married. He will stick around so long as it's convenient and saves him money to do so, but he'll bounce once the emotional costs to himself and his kids start outweighing the financial benefits he can glean by staying. She won't be able to find an equivalent replacement because no one of any quality will accept her "my kid gets a pony, your kid gets nothing" mine vs. yours mentality. So she'll find herself stuck with not-good people and sugar babies in it for her money. Which I suspect is how she prefers it, since she'd have the power and control in that case.

I'm sorry, I'm going to be the lone optimist here. I think the fact that they are not (for now) ruling out an ongoing relationship without marriage, gives me hope that the connection might continue, without marriage making it more complicated.

His willingness to sign a prenup shows he's not just after her money. In the case of a divorce he would not be entitled to any inherited assets/money. He should run for the hills. Expecting children in a blended family to grow up in the same house while not being treated equally is ridiculous. Sending only her child to private schools & providing only her child with large purchases like a pony or a car is ridiculous. I received some life ins money when my father died & any money spent was for the benefit and betterment of our blended FAMILY. I would have never considered treating children differently. The grandfather clearly didn't leave the money in trusts with specific stipulations so it's use is at the discretion of the OP so her excuses as to "I'm using it for myself & my daughter only b/c it's what her grandpa wanted" is laughable she is playing favorites and the OP should not be anyone's stepmother.

The people that make this garbage up is almost as astonishing as Bored panda publishing it. She needs an atty. The person knows you can't just put assets in a child's name without some additional legal work involved. This is the last AITA I will comment on, the rest, for good or bad, are downvoted and unclicked. You can shove your ad revenue up your bunghole.

Good grief. He showed you exactly who he is and you're still in a relationship. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

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Don’t worry about him leaving you. He won’t because then he’d have to pay rent for himself and his kids.

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nta you did good