Many of the ways we celebrate holidays are aimed at giving our children magical days: Santa sneaking into the chimney with presents, trick-or-treating in fabulous costumes, and the Easter Bunny hiding valuable eggs in the yard. But adults should be allowed to enjoy holidays too, right?

One mother posted on the “Am I the Jerk?” subreddit detailing how she opted out of her family’s Easter celebration because it was going to be all about the kids, as per usual, and she just wanted some adult time. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as a conversation with Amy Morrison of Pregnant Chicken.  

Once you’re a parent, it’s natural for the kids to become the focus on holidays

Image credits: halfpoint (not the actual photo)

But after requesting some time for the adults to catch up on Easter, this mother did not receive the response she was hoping for

Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)

Image credits: nogoyolo

Later, the mom responded to some comments and provided additional information on the situation

“Adding kids into the mix and having to factor their wants and needs into a holiday can add a whole new level of responsibility”

Becoming a parent changes every aspect of a person’s life, including holidays. All of a sudden, you have to consider these tiny humans that you’re raising before yourself, and days like Christmas and Halloween may become completely different from how you celebrated them with only adults. Easter, in particular, is a great day for kids to go on a hunt for eggs, dye and paint eggs, break confetti eggs, receive an Easter basket, bake goodies with mom and dad and enjoy the sugar rush from all of the sweets the family has provided. As wonderful as all of these experiences can be for your little ones, and for you to watch your kids enjoy, it can be tricky navigating how to have fun on holidays yourself.

To gain more insight on this topic, we reached out to mother and founder of Pregnant Chicken, Amy Morrison, who was kind enough to have a chat with us about how holidays can shift once you have little ones to consider. When asked whether these special days become more challenging as a parent, Amy says it depends. “I think it definitely shifts by adding kids into the mix, and having to factor their wants and needs into a holiday can add a whole new level of responsibility,” she told Bored Panda. But sometimes, these changes are actually for the better. “In contrast, kids experiencing a holiday with fresh eyes can often be a magical experience that breathes new life into old traditions that might have become dull and routine,” Amy noted.

But it’s possible for our little ones to enjoy these special days without taking away the adults’ fun

Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)

And when it comes to how relationships can change with our family members once we become parents, Amy says it’s to be expected, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. “Any relationship requires time and effort, whether it’s with your partner, friends or family,” she shared. “Time and energy are resources that become scarce when you have kids, so it’s not surprising that parents often take a good look at where they want to spend both.”

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For parents who find themselves in similar situations to this mother on Reddit, Amy says, “I think everyone needs to recognize that it’s harder for things to just ‘happen’ when kids arrive on the scene and specific times need to be carved out if you want to connect. Clear communication is the key (as it is with everything), and everyone should be upfront about how they want to connect and what that looks like to them.”

“Over your lifetime, your priorities often change along with the people in your life,” Amy went on to note. “It’s okay to step back from relationships or let them go altogether if they aren’t working. Kids are a life-changing experience, and they often shine a spotlight on what is and isn’t important in life and where you want to spend that precious time and energy.” If you’d like to hear more wise words on all things parenting related from Amy and the rest of her team, be sure to visit Pregnant Chicken right here.

Parents should also remember the value of maintaining healthy relationships with their siblings

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

Although a parent’s primary concern may be making sure their kids have a wonderful day, they shouldn’t have to sacrifice their own fun to do so. Many of us don’t have the luxury of gathering with our relatives frequently, so holidays can be a great time to catch up and bond with one another. In fact, maintaining healthy relationships with our siblings, even in adulthood, can be very important to our health and wellbeing. “In a study of older adult siblings, [Megan] Gilligan, PhD, found participants generally reported high levels of warmth and low levels of conflict. Sister-sister pairs were especially likely to report warm relationships,” Kirsten Weir writes for the American Psychological Association. 

“Warm sibling relationships, in turn, seemed to protect against loneliness,” Weir goes on to note. “However, older adults who reported more sibling conflict and parental favoritism in adulthood were more likely to experience symptoms of depression, anxiety, hostility, and loneliness.” “Siblings are really influential in mental health, well beyond childhood and adolescence,” Dr. Gilligan says. As much as we love our children, it’s important not to put all of our own personal relationships on the backburner, as the healthier and happier we are, the more our children will benefit. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this mother made the right choice to skip her Easter gathering? And if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing Easter drama, look no further than right here.   

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Many readers assured the mother that she wasn’t being unreasonable, noting that she deserves time with her sisters

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