I am 73, but I would have done the same you did.. I think you are right.. enjoy living with Dax and your grandfather, it will be a precious time to look back too when you are older, and maybe have children of your own. a dog is not a thing you throw away, he has feelings as well as humans.. and he loves you.. that is worth a lot..

If grandpa is getting where he can't handle a dog, he could probably use some household help anyway. I think the grandpa is a gem for agreeing to take on the dog and if the 17 yr old wants to live with him, I think that this could be good for all round.

Getting rid of your kid's pet because you have a new bf you want to move in is a d**k move. His Dad has only been dead two years. The son made the best of a bad situation - he's caring for his dog, attending school via zoom, and living with a grandparent, who it sounds like could really benefit from having the help and care. He is also avoiding what sounds like a toxic and disrespectful dynamic with the Mom and BF. OP, you are not the asshole. You are becoming a man, and making decisions that are not easy. You are still grieving for your Dad. Speak respectfully to your Mom, and her BF, but set boundries, and stand your ground. It's okay to be sad and angry. The situation sucks. Love your dog. Love your Grandfather, Cry if you need to.

Only two years since his dad died and his mum lets someone else talk about being his new dad? Mum and her boyfriend sound pretty heartless to me. Fair enough, have a new man if you met the right guy, but don't force him into a grieving child's life.

What his mom its doing its horrible and I can't understand why she is acting like this. Don't get me wrong, I am also a mum, single and I would like to have a partner...but I will never going to put a man above my child or my 2 cats...Animal love is unconditional and forever...and even my teennager kid is sometimes a pain in my neck, I don't have no doubts about my choices...if you want to come in you have to accept the household(take some medication for alergies). I am sorry that maybe I am sounding too harsh but that's my feelings about this kind of situation! I know I know...I am going to be single and die alone...

Pardon this 'Old Fart' ignorance, but what in the "you know what" does that "NTA" acronym stand for?

As An Owner Of 3 Dogs, I can Agree that dogs can really help in a tough time. My Dogs are always here for me. My biggest dog(spike) was there when I was failing school and every day he sits and protects me when I am at school. My only female dog(Kira) Always licks my tears when I'm sad and gives the best snuggles. My Oldest dog(i think) (brooks), He protects me from Anything, A butterfly flew too close to the window, BARK, A dog is across the street, BARK, A car enters the cul-de-sac, BARK. I can see where the boy was coming from and I do not blame him.(also to whoever's reading this, Have a great day and Kira says hi)

Mom is obviously not thinking with her “upper” brain. I understand about loneliness, but you can’t completely upend your existing family just to keep from sleeping alone. Besides, the son is 17 and graduating high school in a couple months. Then he’ll either go to work, join the military, or go to college, and be moving out anyway. Why couldn’t Mom take that into consideration and just wait a few months or a year to move Anthony in? Might be a good test of the health of their relationship. If Anthony completely understands, then cool. If not, then he has other motives for wanting to speed things up, and I would be very wary of letting him live in my house. Then again, coming to that conclusion takes critical thinking skills—-which are not located in the “lower brain”.

He def deserves that dog I wouldn't speak to my mum if she did that to me, congrats on graduating

No he's not a bad person, but also mom is not a bad person. I can tell you losing my mom has put a great deal of strain on my relationship with my father. No one has done anything maliciously, but maybe not always with the awareness of the other's feelings.

No, your dog is more than 'an animal' He's been your lifeline and your support. The issues you face with potential step parent are separate from this. But obviously the mother deserves to have her life too and you can't expect someone with a severe allergy to live with something that will make them ill. But if everyone was reasonable and willing to take time, wait, understand then a solution will be found. The problem is that his won't happen - the being resonable I mean..

100% NTA!! As someone who's mom married a complete jerk at 11 and put me through years of hell and abuse, you made the right call. I was a step-dad and never ever asked them to call me dad. I always told them they could call me whatever they want. Today, they still call me Dad even though they are grown and gone

Mom is the asshole here. She is choosing a man over her son's happiness and then lecturing him about family? How does that make sense? I would have left too. But then again, I would live in my car before I gave up my dogs.

What kind of person has the heart to send a dog back to the shelter? I would never be able to do that. You are not a jerk for moving to be with your dog, I would've done the same.

Good for you if your mom can't see why Dax is part of the family that is f*cked up. You did the right thing I can't fathom picking between a family member(Dax) and some random stranger.

As a mum and a dog owner I think the mum is being utterly selfish. Can’t the fiancé take antihistamines or work out a living arrangement where the dog/son’s area is self contained or something? She’s causing even more trauma for all of them. Perhaps the way things have worked out everyone can be happy, the son shouldn’t feel guilty for standing by his dog, who is after all a family member too.

She’s a lousy mother, you’re much better off.

Why isn’t anyone questioning if the “new dad” is lying about his allergies? Hmmmm.

The mom is probably worried about being alone once her nearly-adult son moves away and is eager to move to the next step in her relationship with her new partner. However, forcing a grieving teenager to get rid of his pet is just cruel. She has forever fractured her relationship with her son.

I think we should be mates!

I hate woman like this once they have moved on find another one, and they stopped care about their own kids, I bet the mom will chose the man over her kids if something happens.

When humans make you chose between your dog and themselves, chose the dog. I dated a girl for a while, she was allergic to dogs and said I'd have to give up the dog. I did not, and I'm glad I didn't because then I may never have met my wife.

He is a strong man who unlike many, understands his needs and is willing to make a path for himself. He is strong and with the help of supportive family members is becoming even stronger. Those family members include Dax. The young man is so very lucky to have that close, unconditional love. His mother is looking to deal with her own loneliness, but trying to force a new authority figure on him is unfair. She doesn't need to choose between her son's happiness and her own, both can be happy and her son has shown her how this can happen.

NTA. Who does this to their children? I mean, the teen specifically told his mom that he did not approve of the new father, which in some cases can lead to abuse or neglect. Second, his mother seems like a massive Karen. Please don't downvote, but upvote if you agree. >:(

Bad human vs Good dog... Easy choice!!!

You are better than good. You, sir, are a good man.

Right now things are better for every one. The teenager can feel like he is with someone who cares about him which is his grandfather who he can help in return. He can provide the love and security for his dog at the same time. As far as his mother is concerned she did not give them time to establish a relationship, just because her fiancee was her choice doesn't mean it was her son's choice. He will be 18 soon and he will be able to make his own choice. Hoping this works out and everyone gets what they need and want.

NTA for sure. Your mom and Anthony can't just do that. They obviously thought Dax was "just a dog" or something else stupid. No dog is "just a dog". And obviously Dax was extremely special to you. If this happened to me, I would have done the same thing. If your mom still keeps saying that you're lousy, then just block her number or something. Don't answer her when she calls. And there is no way she can make Anthony be your new dad if you're not living there.

NTA.

I think that dude is completely correct. Apparently the dog was his dad’s, one to be considered “last thing remaining of him” then that little... just wants to take something that was from someone that died, that means a lot to you?? This woman is crazy! Also, sometimes, (I think they’re called step father) stepfathers don’t treat people as they should. So, if his intentions were to make u suffer, with the loss of ur dad, loss of ur dog, just as an excuse to get rid of something that was important to you, possibly make u suffer?? Leaving that goddamn house was the best thing you could’ve possibly done!

What a terrible useless s**t that mother is.

PS why the hell did she not suggest that Anth

Would be good to hear the mother's side of the story. Nobody is the villain in his own story.

You are now officially my hero. Stand up for your loves and your beliefs. Speaking as a dog person.

You did exactly the right thing. Your mom is controlling you with zero thought about HOW YOU FEEL. That is narcissistic.

His mother is a terrible person but he is a wonderful boy. Best of luck to him and his new life.

I hope he helps around house and garden and with the shopping so that grandpa benefits as well! Surely the old man is not happy about this rift in the family, either... I think mom is not over the loss of her husband yet and would do anything to make it work with her new partner. Hopefully, she will come to her senses soon and apologise to son and dog. Maybe she is still hurting very much inside and that makes her act so selfish, therefore, her son should still treat her kindly - but not give in about his dog! In addition, maybe Anthony really wants to make the best of the situation but does not know how. You cannot barge in on a nearly grown up boy and tell him you're his new dad because you are not. You may be his mother's new husband but you are still "the new guy", however uncomfortable that feels. All three of them should sit down quietly and think some time about how the other two feel and what causes their actions. This could be really enlightening for all of them.

The mother is not an animal lover....this old hag and his good for nothing idiot boyfriend should be the one to move out of the house....PRONTO....

You did a right thing i'm a dog person also and if the dog is you "comfort blanket" keep it your mom can't just do things without your consent. Plus your almost graduating so you kinda can make your own choices. So what you did by living with your grandpa was the right thing. I'm sorry about you losing your dad man. Stay Strong!

NTA. i would choose my dog too if i were in this situation.

Good choice 🐾

Absolutely not NTA. That mom is a total c**t and lost her kid forever. Good on this kid for sticking up for himself and his dog. I already know this fiancé won't work out. The mom is replacing and avoiding things; those things will come back to bite her in the ass

Def NTA... first off damn your mom moved on rather quickly. Not sure if I could do that, but be that as it may, She can not force HER timeline on you. I think everyone involved needs counseling. If this is a rebound, it'll fizzle. If not then hopefully Anthony is a good guy and in time you can grow closer to him because he makes your mom happy. But outside of that, this is YOUR timeline. That dog is the last thing you have to be close to your dad so you are fine. You are NOT a lousy child. As a mother, I understand her hurt, but ALSO as a mother, I would tell Anthony, here's some benadryl. Dax is absolutely not going anywhere. Plus he knew about him before the relationship anyhow.

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Again, Again, Again, Again - There are two sides to every story. Something Boredpanda never presents. I would like to hear from MOM before coming to any conclusion.