Spin this around. Take the words and actions of the teenager, and give them to the mother. Every single person would be screaming 'ABUSE' and rightly so. At 14 years of age, this teenager knows the difference between 'It's just a joke', and the c**p she is pulling. She is abusing her mother, and her mother needs to be protected from her.

"Yelled at her a few times" psh. Shut that shït down! When you have a dog who wants to go after another dog when you're on a walk, you don't wait until he starts going nuts trying to get there. Your dog isn't allowed to *look* at the other dog. The behavior correction starts at the *beginning*. Likewise, the moment this teenager opens her mouth to be rude, *everybody else* gets up and walks tf out of the room. Every time. Full rejection. "Your attitude is toxic, and I don't want any of it to get on me. Your words are cruel, and I will not stand for you to talk to someone I love in that manner. Your behavior is vile, and I will not give you the opportunity to infringe it upon myself and others." What she's learned so far is that she can be a jerk 25 times and the cost is being yelled at once.

Sorry mom, Your worrying about hurting her feelings has encouraged this behavior. SHE wants YOU gone. If you move out she wins. Be the ADULT put your foot down, she is acting like a AZZ and there are no real excuses. Your punishments are not effective ( she has learned to hold out for a bit and you will cave). Ship he off, inform her that her behavior is not going to be tolerated and until she learns respect - she is not welcome in the FAMILY home. When she is in the house - she is to be in HER room ONLY - no interaction with anyone. And I also think your "shrink" is a failure. Sorry hugging a child while they gleefully stab you in the back is NOT healthy.

I have been in this situation. Whilst a different therapist might help, this is a version of what I did. Set up a meeting with you, hubby & daughter. Explain that the behaviour is not acceptable and will not be tolerated going forward. She has 2 choices, to modify her behaviour (have a basic list ready) or to go to boarding school. Emphasise that you love her, however the family home is for everyone to be safe and happy, and that is not how it's is. If she agrees to stay she has to sign the paper. If not then it's school. She has to make the decision. Best of luck X

OP should watch some episodes of supernanny, where there are a bit older kids. It seems like they're afraid of being firm and giving consequences in the face of this behavior. Like go to your room, immediately and every single time, if you can't behave in a socially acceptable way. And if she doesn't respect mum then dad needs to enforce it, and refuse to engage with the daughter following such incidents.

Listen, every teenager goes through a phase where they hate their parents. I did too. It’s basically the initial foray into independence and moving away from being a dependent child, which may be difficult to deal with, but is totally normal, and the vast majority turn out just fine. But that majority generally limit it to sometimes being ornery, talking back, having a look on their faces like a slapped a*s, and trash talking their parents when they’re around their friends. It’s usually very short-lived, and they’re over it and redirecting that energy toward high school and eventually college. Cutting off the pony tail—-while her mother was on a Zoom meeting with her boss, ffs—-would’ve been the last straw for me. I would’ve excused myself from the meeting, logged off, and been grabbing and cutting off hers, to both shock her out of it and give her a taste of her own medicine. I can take a lot from people, but everyone has their breaking point, and trying to humiliate me in front of my boss and coworkers, when I can’t immediately respond, would be that point. Sometimes you just have to speak a bully’s own language to get through to them. The therapist is absolutely dead wrong with telling the parents to apologize for yelling. Do they also tell the daughter she too has to apologize for her nasty actions? Probably not, so f**k that s**t. Daughter needs to know that people outside her family don’t love her and aren’t going to put up with her nasty behavior—-and if she treats the wrong people like s**t, getting yelled at will be the minimum consequence she’ll pay for it. Let her try pulling stunts like that on her boss, her spouse, her friends, when she’s an adult and no one is making any excuses for her and treating her with kid gloves. If she’s smart, she’ll wake up to herself and stop it, hopefully before she ends up in prison for pulling a prank that went deadly wrong, or in a box for pushing someone to an extreme limit and they push back hard and permanently. Yes. I’d be changing therapists for one who can get to the root of her behavior, then work on helping her, and the rest of the family, confront it, deal with it, and develop the strength to get through it, stop reacting negatively to it, not let it ruin their otherwise solid loving bond, and to continue moving forward in life.

If my daughter even dared, she would have wished she hadn't. I'm gonna peeve people and all but, as a minority looking in, we see this behavior in movies and TV and always comment, "white people". Maybe these aren't even white BUT coming hard like it is. It is constantly reoccurring that the kids speak very rudely with the parents and it gets brushed off as normal, typical teenager. Maybe not in real life but it is highly depicted in movies/shows. I know minorities get the joke of a chancla, branch, a*s whooping, etc. I'm not talking about literal physical abuse BUT, that attitude would be heavily implicated on giving consequences etc. If her psychiatrist claims it isn't something specific then it's just a brat being allowed to be a brat. UNLESS the mother treats the daughter like that... I would much more seriously handle with the words coming out of my mouth. Good people do not treat people that way. I would remind my daughter endlessly the sort of c**p human she is being.

"we've tried a whole bunch of nothing and now we're out of ideas" is what I read. Maybe this is harsh but mom is being a doormat. Dad is being vacant. This girl needs a swift kick in the a*s. Assault, menacing, harassment to say a few of the things she could be arrested for. Cutting moms hair was beyond a line. Too many therapists. I'm all about progressive and modern solutions but sometimes a good a*s kicking solves a lot of problems. I don't mean physically hitting her but some serious consequences need to happen. You stopped grounding her because you were worried about her social life? She cant be social being a psychopath. Ops boundaries are in the wind. The husband is in la la Land. Everyone in this story sounds so out of touch with reality.

Could this girl have unnatural feelings for her father that make her jealous of her mother? I have heard of this with a step mother relationship but believe it is also possible with a natural mother.

Ok so here is a simple solution. Next time she damages your property or person, call the police. Get her sent to juvenile court for her actions. Because actions need consequences and she isn't getting those. Oh we yelled an apologized. Oh she faked sorry with dad. Your boys see it and stand up for you at least. Boarding school could really be the answer. When talking back to an adult or traumatizing (which she has done to you and done be surprise you got ptsd from her later) someone in authority seems to be her actions, a boarding school won't take that from her. Although it could be a waste of money if she figures out getting expelled would hurt you financially. She is a child. You are the parent. You let her go play with her friends because you didn't want her to miss her social life. Not good. She has nothing to warrant being better. Empty out her room and give her a bed and give her what you want her to wear each day. Take the phone and lock it to call only dad or 911

Three…THREE years! All the therapy but zero improvement. This girl needs to be sectioned for in-depth psychological evaluation. Currently, the sole target seems to be her mom but I’m concerned palming her off to a boarding school could redirect her focus to an alternative female “parental” figure. What are they going to do if her behaviour escalates to assaulting someone at the boarding school? How many schools should she be expelled from before they recognize there’s a serious underlying problem here? There’s so many things that could be causing the behaviour; from hormonal or chemical imbalances, all the way up to psychopathy. I recently read a book “The Psychopath in Me; fascinating read that suggests the brain can be scanned to identify psychopathy and clearly demonstrates that not all clinical psychopaths are axe-wielding murderers. No, I’m not armchair diagnosing, this is merely an extreme example. They need to find out what’s wrong!

Kid needs a knot ripped in her hindend.

I would say what I really think the teen needs, but no would be band. I can say that if she was my daughter and she cut my hair, I would have cut her hair. She does it because she continues to get away with it, especially when a therapist tells her parents to apologize to her, that therapist needs their license yanked they are what is wrong with a lot of kids today. Don’t send her to boarding school, send her to a ranch or farm where she has to learn hard and still go to school. She would regret what she is doing real quick if she was my daughter. No mother should be scared of her children!!!!!

Had any one of us four siblings behaved the way this teenage maniac has, our dad would have shown us a new use for his orange heavy-duty extension cord. It simply would not have been tolerated. As odd as it may seem, I can understand the parents' reluctance to go commando on the kid. The way the laws are today, CPS could have a field day with them. Abby has been warned enough about her behavior; it's time to take action. Send her to boarding school, far away. Her father should be the one to enforce this. Sit her down and tell her, in no uncertain terms, that SHE IS GOING TO BOARDING SCHOOL. No discussion will be allowed, no negotiating either. Either it's a boarding school or juvenile hall. Pack her bags, take her to the airport, and see that she gets on the plane. A one-year trial period will give the household a much-needed breather. That will be plenty of time for the adults to structure a course of action when Abby comes home. It's past time for the boundaries to be established an

I lost my Mom a few years ago and would do almost anything to have her back. Boarding school is not necessarily punishment or being mean. Sometimes you have to lose something you actually value to recognize that you love it, people included. Boarding school might do that when she discovers that the people in charge of her don’t love her like her mother and can’t be manipulated.

Call #988 for mental health emergency response (in US) NOT police or 911. I agree hair cutting is assault and you are at safety risk. I would also remove/lock sharps & meds for safety.

I raised a daughter with behavior disorders (and a son who was very easy going,) and would suggest considering a couple of things BEFORE sending her to boarding school. The first would be a thorough assessment with a PSYCHOLOGIST (therapists are not trained in this,) and consider some brain imaging at one of the Amen clinics. (There are nine of them around the country...) Plus read the book "Change you brain, change your life" by Dr. Amen. Your daughter is not just "a brat" there is something going on...By age 21 my daughter was all together (yes, it took that long, LOL) and is now over 40. She is kind, has empathy in spades and turned out super well...I wish you all much good luck, you will get through this. I have an M.A. in counseling BTW

Your daughter is mentally unstable. She knows you are afraid of her. She will end up in Belview when she is older. Maybe she is bipolar and or schizophrenic. Something is really wrong with her. Take her to the doctor to have her evaluated. Its only gonna get worse as she gets older. You shouldnt have to move out for peace of mind. Good luck.

I CANNOT BELIEVE that I actually read the phrase " DON'T TAKE THIS PERSONALLY"???? SERIOUSLY?????? Cutting off her Mother's Hair, pulling mean spirited "PRANKS"? INTERFERING WITH HER MOTHER'S JOB?? What will it take for her to get a SERIOUS MENTAL HEALTH EVALUATION?? BURN DOWN THE FAMILY HOME?? STOP APOLOGIZING AND GET HER INTO A SCHOOL WHERE SHE HAS CONSEQUENCES TO HER HELLISH BEHAVIOR, THREE YEARS OF THIS?? SHE'S IN TOTAL CONTROL OF ALL OF Y'ALL'S LIVES AND LOVING IT.. I PRAY FOR Y'ALL. GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES. BOARDING SCHOOL BOUND... GOD BLESS Y'ALL.. TRULY.....

Verbally abusing your own mother is sick. NTA, the daughter is the azzhole

Try some comebacks to her comments. For example: To "Mom, you can see the rolls of cellulite, it's disgusting!" you have 2 choices. 1)"I did put on a lot of useless fat for a while but I thought I got rid of it yet here it is talking to me like a rancid pile of lard with ideas above its station" or 2) "The disgusting blobs tend to shrink the further away you are"