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Eldest Son Says He Will Move Out Unless He Gets A Separate Room, Is Told To Pay Rent
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Eldest Son Says He Will Move Out Unless He Gets A Separate Room, Is Told To Pay Rent

Interview With Expert Eldest Son Says He Will Move Out Unless He Gets A Separate Room, Is Told To Pay Rent“Not Sure If I Made A Mistake”: Mom Starts Second-Guessing Choice To Charge Her 16 Y.O. RentMom Asks If She’s A Jerk For Charging Her 16 Y.O. Son Rent For His Bedroom, Splits The Internet“AITA For Making My Son (16) Pay For His Own Room?”16 Y.O. Doesn’t Want To Share A Room With Younger Brother, So Mom Starts Charging Him RentMom Lets Her Oldest Son Have A Separate Room For $50/Month, Gets Called Out“Everybody Is Happy”: Single Mom Of 5 Starts Charging Teen Son Rent So He Can Have PrivacyFamily Of 6 Struggles To Fit Into 3 Bedrooms, 16YO Threatens To Quit School To Live AloneMom Of 5 Gives Up Her Room To Her Eldest Son For $50/Month, Friends Make Her Feel Like A Jerk
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As a kid, you take plenty of things for granted that you’ll miss as an adult. Summer vacations, a fridge magically filled itself with free food and not having to worry about scheduling my own doctor’s appointments were some of my personal favorites. And of course, having housing without paying rent!

But one teen actually offered to start paying his mother every month just so he could have his own bedroom. Below, you’ll find the full story that the mom recently shared on Reddit, as well as a conversation with parenting expert and founder of Pregnant Chicken, Amy Morrison! 

This mom’s oldest child offered to start paying rent so he could have his own space

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

But now, the mother is wondering if she made a mistake by agreeing to charge him rent

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Image credits: bearfotos / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Maleficent_Trick_489

“It feels like a fair solution between the mom and her older son”

Image credits: Elina Fairytale / Pexels (not the actual photo)

To gain more insight into this topic, we reached out to parenting expert and founder of Pregnant Chicken, Amy Morrison. Amy was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share her thoughts on parents charging their children rent.

“Unique problems often call for unique solutions,” the expert says. “Charging rent probably isn’t a great idea for kids who are in school full time or don’t have the means to pay it. But in this situation, it feels like a fair solution between the mom and her older son.”

We were curious if Amy believes parents should have a say in how their teens spend their own money. “Parents are more than welcome to offer guidance on how to save or spend money, but if a teen made that money on their own, they should be able to decide how to spend it on their own,” she shared.

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Amy also noted that money isn’t the only way teens can “pay” their parents. “If parents and teens work out tasks or duties that go above and beyond chores, I think it’s a fair exchange instead of money,” the expert says.

But in this situation, Amy says the issue has less to do with the rent and more to do with making decisions that affect her other children without talking to them about it. “This is a tricky situation for this mom, but I think she did a great job working with her teen to figure out a fair deal.”

“The next step is to sit down with all of your kids and figure out a solution that works for everyone with the space that you have”

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

“However, it got tricky when the compromise affected the 14-year-old, and it doesn’t sound like he was consulted on the solution,” the parenting expert continued. “Sure, he’s still sharing a room with ‘a’ brother. But your 16-year-old brother is rarely interchangeable with your 10-year-old brother.”

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“I think the next step is to sit down with all of your kids and figure out a solution that works for everyone with the space that you have,” Amy noted.

Charging children rent is a divisive topic, even when the “kids” are adults. But in recent years, it’s become quite common, as about a third of Americans between the ages of 18 and 34 currently live with their parents. Rent prices have skyrocketed, and it might be worth it to stay with Mom and Dad if they’ll charge a fraction of what a landlord would. 

According to a study from Compare the Market, 55% of British parents charge their adult children about $34 a week to stay in their homes. And the most common reasons cited for charging their children are the cost of groceries, energy bills and gas bills.

But some argue that charging children rent, especially teens or young adults, prevents them from being able to save up enough money to move out. It also might make them feel less welcome in their parents’ home, as their relationship can shift from parent-child to landlord-tenant.  

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this mother was wrong for coming to this agreement with her oldest son? Feel free to weigh in, and then if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues, look no further than right here!

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Many readers assured the mother that she had not done anything wrong

However, some thought that the arrangement was unfair to her other children

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Adelaide Ross

Adelaide Ross

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

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Adelaide Ross

Adelaide Ross

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Howdy, I'm Adelaide! I'm originally from Texas, but after graduating from university with an acting degree, I relocated to sunny Los Angeles for a while. I then got a serious bite from the travel bug and found myself moving to Sweden and England before settling in Lithuania about two years ago. I'm passionate about animal welfare, sustainability and eating delicious food. But as you can see, I cover a wide range of topics including drama, internet trends and hilarious memes. I can easily be won over with a Seinfeld reference, vegan pastry or glass of fresh cold brew. And during my free time, I can usually be seen strolling through a park, playing tennis or baking something tasty.

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

Read less »

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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Shark Lady
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the comments about the daughter, she should not have to share with a brother. I believe the recommendations are that after age 8 only same sex children should share a room. It's a tough situation for all of them but it's really on the mum to try and make things right. She needs to see if there is any help out there for her to be able to get a more suitable living space for them all.

Midoribird Aoi
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my family fell into bad financial straits, I had to for a few years. Neither my little brother or myself are warped. I changed in the bathroom. By the time he hit puberty, we each had separate rooms once again.

Load More Replies...
Becca not Becky
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I see a few possible options to consider. How about an arrangement where the oldest child living at home gets their own room if they pay for it? As for taking money from the 16yo, I think that's fair since he requested an upgrade, but at the same time, maybe mom could set it (all or some) aside without him knowing and then give it to him when he graduates? Or another option, 14M could have the couch while mom and daughter share a room and the two youngest boys share.

Guess Undheit
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Usually I disagree with the YTA comments, but they're right this time. Several of them.

Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gotta do what you gotta go. It's not an excessive amount of money. The money goes towards family things. The son has bought his privacy (he could be buying fast food, movie tickets or fancy sneakers ...he wants his own room, so that's what he's saving up for). You're not making him pay rent to be a jerk; space is tight. Hopefully he's happy enough, you won't get sick of the pull out couch, and the younger sibs see that work=money and money=choices/opportunity

Carol Borg
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Id say curios to you for doing the best you can to allow your son some autonomy and keep the price. I hope your kids realize the sacrifice you're making giving up your own quiet space all the while raising 5 kids on their own. If I were you I would ask a few close friends or relatives to have a chat to with your kids to make sure of that to potentially deal with spoken or unspoken resentments as that will have more weight than the talk coming from you. I do agree that your girl is or is coming very close to where some autonomy will be a nessessity. Might I suggest privacy screens that can be pulled across the space when privacy is needed until a more stable arrangement can be made. Good job and good luck.

Broadredpanda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Until OP can afford a bigger home, you should STFU! It's $50 not $500 that goes back into the family. This mother is doing all she can under the circumstances and I'm certain this mom will get a bigger place as soon as she's able to afford it. Instead of bashing her, why not praise her efforts? There's so many on here that are terrible parents, she's not! I (f) had to share with my brother way longer the her daughter, so pipe down as it's not the end of the world. I raised three daughters alone and being a single parent is already hard enough without being bashed by other mothers. Let's face it, we are terrible (women) for putting down everything about women! We won't/don't champion women that do well in life. We're complete BiTcHeS about each other. All that the YTAs people show is they wouldn't back up a friend in the same situation, but they'd think differently if it was one of their own. Not one thing in this post is a massive concern. Good luck OP! Don't worry about the YTAs

Ben Aziza
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmm some redditors really wanted to f tveir siblings huh??? This sharing rooms with a sister or a brother has never been an issue in my entire extended family. It is baffeling to me.

Kanga55
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So much blaming a mother for the number of children she has. Nothing in this shows that her children are neglected in any way. Male and female siblings sharing a room is not a new event. It has been happening in families since families began. The way the housing market is they are lucky to have as much space as they do. This is a loving mom doing the best she can and providing for her family. I grew up poor in material possessions but rich in the things that matter and that’s what is happening here. Go Mom!

Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The thing is he coulda shared the room ifvhe didn't think the $50/month wasn't worth it yk

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looks like someone broke a sewer line and all thr YTA garbage spilled all over the place.

Sarah Matsoukis
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Teenagers need privacy, don't have more kids than rooms you can afford.

Schmebulock
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless her husband died she is a terrible person for having five kids that she can barely afford. Plus she has terrible friends if they think it's ok she sleeps on the couch so her son can have a bedroom all for himself at no cost.

Katchen
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about the father(s)? If they’re not dead, they walked out. She’s the parent who stayed. But *she’s* the a*****e??!?

Load More Replies...
Brian Droste
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the mother should save all the money for her son and when he gets ready to move out, give him all that money. I have a friend that did that with his second son. But this was after he graduated from school and got a job. He charged his second so much either per paycheck or month. He saved all that money. Can't quite remember but when his son got ready to move out the father gave all that money back to his son. Don't remember the amount but it probably was like 1500 or more. Probably couple thousand.

tori Ohno
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who are these fools who don't think kids should work or help pay for the household? It teaches responsibility and budgeting. No wonder kids nowadays don't know how to take care of themselves.

Bryn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's time to have a discussion with your kids - you're doing with what you can with what you have where you are.

JessSayin'
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You need to teach your son about priorities, wants vs needs, and how far money really doesn't go. Especially now that he's working, he should be able to comprehend the concept. He wanted to move out on his own but the reality is he isn't an adult and his piddly little job will not afford him that luxury. That's reality and there's no point in sugar coating it for him. There's also zero reason to accommodate him above all others, or for you to be sleeping on the couch. Some people aren't rich and they make do with what they have. When he is an adult he can make his own choices, until then he should be sharing a room just like all the other kids. It doesn't matter what your son thinks or what anyone on the internet thinks. It's too late for opinions anyway, your son needs to learn to be grateful for what he has. If you let him or anyone else make you feel bad for not being able to provide 5 children with their own room in this economy, then YTA.

Malissa Shore
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents had 6 kids. Eldest girl had her own room. Eldest boy had his own room. Two girls next in ages shared and my brother, who wasv2 yrs older than me, and I shared a room. We didn't b***h or moan about rooms. We slept there, that's it. If we wanted privacy or independent play, we went outside. Why did the oldest two have their own rooms? Because they were the oldest. Me and that brother hit puberty about the same time. I was 9 he was 12. When I hit puberty, my Dad's den was refurbished into a bedroom for me. Once the two oldest moved out, we all had our own rooms. Nothing warped about it. In some places entire families share a room. The one who bitched about them not letting you take their child so he could have his own room...WTF? You honestly think a child should be taken away from his family because he doesn't have his own room? Let me explain something. We were poor. Feedsack dresses, shoes for school only. But we were fed, clothed and LOVED. We had what we needed.

Natasha Murphy
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was younger of 10 kids you do what you have to mom being 10 and sharing a bedroom with a brother is not going to hurt her. I shared with my brother didn't hurt me. She two young to care right now when she starts puberty hopefully around 13 ,14 that's how old me my sister were the older boy be moved out she can have your room with you. These people who are crying about her not having her own room at 10 have no idea what it's like to struggle to be big family with little money. As long as your kids have you and love all well be good. Keep up good work mom. NAH Ps. get a divider for you daughter/sons room if you feel bad with the $50 off Amazon.

Lisa B
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will never understand why people have so many children they cannot afford to take care of properly. My ex's baby momma bought a 2 bedroom house and made her 12 (at the time) year old son share a room with his 2 sisters, aged 1 and 3, but refused to let him come live with us, where he had his own room.

TennesseeHomesteadUSA
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Too much Reddit. I don't believe any of it. Cheap, low-effort copy/paste filler. Tabloids do it a lot...

Shark Lady
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the comments about the daughter, she should not have to share with a brother. I believe the recommendations are that after age 8 only same sex children should share a room. It's a tough situation for all of them but it's really on the mum to try and make things right. She needs to see if there is any help out there for her to be able to get a more suitable living space for them all.

Midoribird Aoi
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my family fell into bad financial straits, I had to for a few years. Neither my little brother or myself are warped. I changed in the bathroom. By the time he hit puberty, we each had separate rooms once again.

Load More Replies...
Becca not Becky
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I see a few possible options to consider. How about an arrangement where the oldest child living at home gets their own room if they pay for it? As for taking money from the 16yo, I think that's fair since he requested an upgrade, but at the same time, maybe mom could set it (all or some) aside without him knowing and then give it to him when he graduates? Or another option, 14M could have the couch while mom and daughter share a room and the two youngest boys share.

Guess Undheit
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Usually I disagree with the YTA comments, but they're right this time. Several of them.

Traveling Lady Railfan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gotta do what you gotta go. It's not an excessive amount of money. The money goes towards family things. The son has bought his privacy (he could be buying fast food, movie tickets or fancy sneakers ...he wants his own room, so that's what he's saving up for). You're not making him pay rent to be a jerk; space is tight. Hopefully he's happy enough, you won't get sick of the pull out couch, and the younger sibs see that work=money and money=choices/opportunity

Carol Borg
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Id say curios to you for doing the best you can to allow your son some autonomy and keep the price. I hope your kids realize the sacrifice you're making giving up your own quiet space all the while raising 5 kids on their own. If I were you I would ask a few close friends or relatives to have a chat to with your kids to make sure of that to potentially deal with spoken or unspoken resentments as that will have more weight than the talk coming from you. I do agree that your girl is or is coming very close to where some autonomy will be a nessessity. Might I suggest privacy screens that can be pulled across the space when privacy is needed until a more stable arrangement can be made. Good job and good luck.

Broadredpanda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Until OP can afford a bigger home, you should STFU! It's $50 not $500 that goes back into the family. This mother is doing all she can under the circumstances and I'm certain this mom will get a bigger place as soon as she's able to afford it. Instead of bashing her, why not praise her efforts? There's so many on here that are terrible parents, she's not! I (f) had to share with my brother way longer the her daughter, so pipe down as it's not the end of the world. I raised three daughters alone and being a single parent is already hard enough without being bashed by other mothers. Let's face it, we are terrible (women) for putting down everything about women! We won't/don't champion women that do well in life. We're complete BiTcHeS about each other. All that the YTAs people show is they wouldn't back up a friend in the same situation, but they'd think differently if it was one of their own. Not one thing in this post is a massive concern. Good luck OP! Don't worry about the YTAs

Ben Aziza
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmm some redditors really wanted to f tveir siblings huh??? This sharing rooms with a sister or a brother has never been an issue in my entire extended family. It is baffeling to me.

Kanga55
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So much blaming a mother for the number of children she has. Nothing in this shows that her children are neglected in any way. Male and female siblings sharing a room is not a new event. It has been happening in families since families began. The way the housing market is they are lucky to have as much space as they do. This is a loving mom doing the best she can and providing for her family. I grew up poor in material possessions but rich in the things that matter and that’s what is happening here. Go Mom!

Aroace tiger (she/they/he)
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The thing is he coulda shared the room ifvhe didn't think the $50/month wasn't worth it yk

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looks like someone broke a sewer line and all thr YTA garbage spilled all over the place.

Sarah Matsoukis
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Teenagers need privacy, don't have more kids than rooms you can afford.

Schmebulock
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless her husband died she is a terrible person for having five kids that she can barely afford. Plus she has terrible friends if they think it's ok she sleeps on the couch so her son can have a bedroom all for himself at no cost.

Katchen
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about the father(s)? If they’re not dead, they walked out. She’s the parent who stayed. But *she’s* the a*****e??!?

Load More Replies...
Brian Droste
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the mother should save all the money for her son and when he gets ready to move out, give him all that money. I have a friend that did that with his second son. But this was after he graduated from school and got a job. He charged his second so much either per paycheck or month. He saved all that money. Can't quite remember but when his son got ready to move out the father gave all that money back to his son. Don't remember the amount but it probably was like 1500 or more. Probably couple thousand.

tori Ohno
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who are these fools who don't think kids should work or help pay for the household? It teaches responsibility and budgeting. No wonder kids nowadays don't know how to take care of themselves.

Bryn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's time to have a discussion with your kids - you're doing with what you can with what you have where you are.

JessSayin'
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You need to teach your son about priorities, wants vs needs, and how far money really doesn't go. Especially now that he's working, he should be able to comprehend the concept. He wanted to move out on his own but the reality is he isn't an adult and his piddly little job will not afford him that luxury. That's reality and there's no point in sugar coating it for him. There's also zero reason to accommodate him above all others, or for you to be sleeping on the couch. Some people aren't rich and they make do with what they have. When he is an adult he can make his own choices, until then he should be sharing a room just like all the other kids. It doesn't matter what your son thinks or what anyone on the internet thinks. It's too late for opinions anyway, your son needs to learn to be grateful for what he has. If you let him or anyone else make you feel bad for not being able to provide 5 children with their own room in this economy, then YTA.

Malissa Shore
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents had 6 kids. Eldest girl had her own room. Eldest boy had his own room. Two girls next in ages shared and my brother, who wasv2 yrs older than me, and I shared a room. We didn't b***h or moan about rooms. We slept there, that's it. If we wanted privacy or independent play, we went outside. Why did the oldest two have their own rooms? Because they were the oldest. Me and that brother hit puberty about the same time. I was 9 he was 12. When I hit puberty, my Dad's den was refurbished into a bedroom for me. Once the two oldest moved out, we all had our own rooms. Nothing warped about it. In some places entire families share a room. The one who bitched about them not letting you take their child so he could have his own room...WTF? You honestly think a child should be taken away from his family because he doesn't have his own room? Let me explain something. We were poor. Feedsack dresses, shoes for school only. But we were fed, clothed and LOVED. We had what we needed.

Natasha Murphy
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was younger of 10 kids you do what you have to mom being 10 and sharing a bedroom with a brother is not going to hurt her. I shared with my brother didn't hurt me. She two young to care right now when she starts puberty hopefully around 13 ,14 that's how old me my sister were the older boy be moved out she can have your room with you. These people who are crying about her not having her own room at 10 have no idea what it's like to struggle to be big family with little money. As long as your kids have you and love all well be good. Keep up good work mom. NAH Ps. get a divider for you daughter/sons room if you feel bad with the $50 off Amazon.

Lisa B
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will never understand why people have so many children they cannot afford to take care of properly. My ex's baby momma bought a 2 bedroom house and made her 12 (at the time) year old son share a room with his 2 sisters, aged 1 and 3, but refused to let him come live with us, where he had his own room.

TennesseeHomesteadUSA
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Too much Reddit. I don't believe any of it. Cheap, low-effort copy/paste filler. Tabloids do it a lot...

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