-eDgAR- said:
"English is my mom's second language so there are certain things that she gets mixed up. My favorite thing she does that I find incredibly endearing is her saying, 'The welcome' instead of 'You're welcome.' I have even started using it with my friends and they use it too."

NeonFlavoredSkittles replied:
"My mom, also a native Spanish speaker, mixes up English phrases all the time. So like instead of 'A taste of their own medicine,' she says 'A soup of the same taste.' My friends love it lol."

-eDgAR- Report

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"Listen to me now and believe me later."

level 1 LifeOfThePotty Report

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"'Y'all gonna make me lose my mind up in here.'

My mother could never resist quoting DMX when we were being bad."

fortheworkmtf Report

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"English is my mom's second language, so instead of saying 'It's my way or the highway,' my mom says 'My way is the highway.'"

reddit.com Report

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"'Are you drinking enough water?'

Headache? Drink more water. Upset stomach? Drink water. Bad grades? You need more water. Bone protruding from your knee? Drink some water, you'll be fine."

calinaxoxo Report

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"OMG HE IS SO CUTE I JUST WANNA GRAB HIM BY THE CHEEKS AND THROW HIM INTO A FAN."

gerstworth Report

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"Yelling in a midwestern accent 'I’M NOT YOUR FRIEND I’M YOUR MOTHER!'"

hestirthebestir Report

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"If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous." - Mom

boblablaugh Report

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"She likes to say 'y'all' a lot even though she's a tiny Sri Lankan immigrant. It's my favorite thing."

Nimbus-Rose Report

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"If you’re bored it’s your own fault."

NettyTheMadScientist Report

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"'Wait! This bit's poisoned!'

Said every time she walked past me, while I was eating something; then promptly followed by her grabbing the "poisoned" bit of whatever I was eating and eating it herself.

She did this every day while I lived under her roof. She still does it every time I visit or we go out for dinner."

vmlm Report

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"Flouncing in from whatever excursion she was just on:

'Any calls from my fan club?'

My brother and I are fist-fighting to the death and tattling on one another:

'Hit him back' (while casually flipping the page in her tabloid trash mag)

Something is unfair, children tell her they think so:

'Thanks for sharing your opinion. I don't care.'"

crunchytinyfleurs Report

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"I'm not sleeping I'm just resting my eyes."

Cayne912 Report

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"Act your age, not your IQ."

PreceededSoup Report

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User No 1 said:
"I made you, I can just as easily destroy you."

NopeImWorking replied:
"I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it."

reddit.com Report

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"Make good choices!"

"Have fun just don’t do inhalants."

juicyfruit180 Report

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"'Annnnnd We're off like a herd of turtles!' Every time we left the driveway. Every. Single. Time."

Wiskerbiscuitlove Report

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"God doesn't need a damn, he can walk on water."

sociallyineptmilk Report

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"Whenever it was time to leave somewhere she would say 'Let's make like a baby and headout.'"

aldy127 Report

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"Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it."

billardfillmore Report

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"You're not going anywhere with me looking like a ragamuffin."

Odogogod Report

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"When looking for something mom told us to find, and we either legitimately couldn’t find it, or we were being lazy: 'If I find it, I’m going to beat you with it.'

We had a good childhood, though."

IncompleteInsecure Report

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Lone_Ponderer said:
"She runs through each of the kids' names before she gets to the one she actually wants to call.

'Ti-Jaa- Sarah!'"

thetransstruggle replied:
"My mom has 5 teenagers and 3 dogs. She will cycle thru a bunch of their names every single time."

Lone_Ponderer Report

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"We've got food at home."

Andy_7071 Report

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"She has so many, and I dunno why this is the one that comes up first in my mind, but she always says 'If you can't open it, you don't deserve it.' This phrase (which sounds a bit more whimsical in the original Serbian) goes for everything from bags of chips to those plastic packages school supplies come in. She shows no mercy when something's really hard to unwrap or pry apart.

I have subsequently gotten very good at opening hard-to-open things, and am now the go-to pickle jar guy."

etymologynerd Report

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"'This ain't a democracy. This is a dictatorship.' Generally said after we said something was not fair or so we perceived to be unfair."

PersnicketySwizzles Report

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"Know what I mean, jellybean?"

little_calico Report

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"'You’ll never guess what your father did this time.'

Dad’s always pulling s**t, and mom can never wait to recount his latest act of what is usually brash stupidity."

VictorBlimpmuscle Report

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Buttowskie said:
"Stop that crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

Astronomer_X replied:
"Doesn't cry at all:
'So you think you're tough now?'"

Buttowskie Report

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"She, unfortunately, passed away back in May. But she always told me this phrase every morning when I would wake up and it has really stuck with me,

'Another day, another golden opportunity.'"

Jlfraser555 Report

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"Don’t get hurt, ‘cause we ain’t going to the hospital!"

sweatersaus Report

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"This is not a hotel!"

CuriousWaterBear Report

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"Youre cruisin for a bruisin."

dablife4200 Report

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"Never believe them when they say they're on the pill."

Moooney Report

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"Well s**t happens, and then you die."

thebunnychow Report

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_kaceyn_ said:
"You JUST ate."

okey_dokey_bokey replied:
"Finish your plate."

_kaceyn_ Report

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"This is why we can't have nice things!"

ServoWHU42 Report

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"What do I always tell you?... Mom is always right."

reddit.com Report

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"All I know is, I love you."

"I’m doing the best I can."

Grinder901 Report

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"I saw it on The Facebook."

LL_Cool_Joey Report

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"I'd let you guys (me and my older brother) starve to death, but it would cost too much to bury you."

audioprod Report

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"'I know stuff'
She's said many times she ought to get that on a t-shirt."

pouralaura Report

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"'You crack me up, Carolina.'

Am dude, not even close to my name. Just my momma."

reddit.com Report

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"You got McDonald’s money."

aangsbison Report

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"'It's a good thing you're cute 'cause you're not real bright!'

Said to me and my siblings whenever we do something stupid."

SingleSparkExplosion Report

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"'I can’t make you do what I want, but I can make you sorry if you don’t.' Lady’s not unreasonable but is very skilled at coming up with good punishments and sticking to them."

reddit.com Report

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"I don't think my mom had one, but my childhood best friend's mom did. As we got out of the car to go to school in the morning, every day, without fail, she would say 'Be good, be kind, be gentle, be holy'. I'm the furthest thing there is from a religious man, but I'll remember those words for the rest of my life, and I do my best to abide it."

level 1 Nose-Nuggets Report

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"'I gotta flip a titty!' Anytime she has to U-turn while driving.

Also 'Kiss my a** in the middle of the main street' She's been saying this so long I remember a time I said it to one of my elementary school teachers. I imagine that was fun for my mom to explain lol."

Mightybuu Report

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"'Quick like bunnies!' Every time we’re running late."

Reana23 Report

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"If I drop something or slam a cupboard while doing something she asked:

'I didn't say break the house!'"

reddit.com Report

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User No 1 said:
"'Hello, stranger'

Whenever we talk on the phone."

checkthisoutson replied:
"Yeah, mine exclaims 'I Have a son!!'"

reddit.com Report

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"After finding something I was looking for: 'If it was a snake, it would have bitten you.'"

MrDaveW Report

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"You're wrong again. You can't avoid me, son."

brown_gentleman Report

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"Just saying!"

ellieellieoxenfree Report

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"At the grocery store and looking at prices:

'What? Do they put gold in it?'"

GoreyFeldman Report

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w0w0lf said:
"'Look with your eyes, not with your mouth'

heard this one too many times when asking mum to help me find stuff."

augmentthinereality replied:
"I always got: Look with your eyes and not your hands. Or: Your eyes are in your head not your fingers.

Mostly cause I liked to touch stuff as a kid."

w0w0lf Report

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"'Choices and consequences' recently I quoted it to my daughter (she was dancing in the bath, slipped and banged her head) and I realized I am my mum."

pinkglitteryseaglass Report

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"'Hang on, Sloopy!' when taking a sharp turn in the car.

'Aw, man! That's the pits! What's up with that??' when something doesn't go well.

'I still wonder where your father was the night you were conceived I'm adopted and this is insinuating that my father and I have so many similar mannerisms that he is actually my biological father.

Yes. I know the last one is weird."

firesidefire Report

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"When something bad happens to me, she'll always try to correlate it to something unrelated.

e.g 'You're sick? Probably because you spend so much time on your phone.'

e.g 'You scored badly on your tests? That's god showing you that you haven't been faithful to your parents.'

I could go on but you get the drift."

zuliboy Report

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"Whatever taps your toes."

Krehi Report

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"'You are an immature!'

English is not my mom's native language. I've tried to tell her it's "you're immature" for 30+ years now."

Z0MBGiEF Report

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"'Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.' She applies this equally to both work ethic type stuff and fun stuff, like birthday parties."

shortstack1386 Report

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"Oh, I have a coupon for that!"

AnnoyedFloyd1210 Report

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"I ain’t mad at it."

ComicBookFanatic97 Report

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"Would've, could've, should've, didn't."

reddit.com Report

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"'Might as well slit my own throat', usually said after a mild inconvenience like being told she couldn't have a cup of tea prior to a medical scan."

AWildEnglishman Report

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"'Finesse, not force'

I have to admit over the years it’s helped me step back and take a breath before I end up breaking something to s**t in frustration."

LittleBupBoy Report

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"'You have diabetes' don't know why but every single medical problem (even a cough) and this is the first thing that comes out of her mouth."

reddit.com Report

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"'Well, that cheap old sausage sold quickly'
When people move too fast in a relationship."

098asd43hf7g Report

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"'Always bring a sweater.' We never listen and we are always cold. She says she wants it put on her tombstone

She also says 'Let's do it, to it!' when we're off to go somewhere. She's a cutie."

larra_rogare Report

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"'Have some decorum'
I am not, and never have been, a very ladylike woman."

somecatgirl Report

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"Well, everyone says they're a terrible person, but they never did anything to me."

BassGuitarMonster Report

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"Here are a few nuggets:

'You gotta plan your work and work your plan!' - she watches too much Dr. Phil I think

'I'll slap them into next Tuesday!' - anytime someone gives her flack

'I had to give up smoking and drinking for four months while pregnant with you!' She's never smoked and doesn't really drink.

And finally, for nostalgia... Every time she would take me out shopping when I was young, we'd get back in the car to drive home and she'd look at me and exclaim, 'We did good, bubby!'"

ButWhatDoesItAllMean Report

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"In a heavy Wisconsin accent, 'Well other than that, I don't know much.'

This is her cue that it's ok for me to say I need to get off the phone now."

walla_walla_rhubarb Report

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"'Go now or forever rest in pee.' before any long car trip."

reddit.com Report

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"Do I look like boo boo the fool?"

emme158075425 Report

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"I'll sink you like the Maine."

reddit.com Report

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"My mom tells me 'Beso de Judas' or 'Kiss from Judas' whenever I’ve done something wrong and I try to kiss her for forgiveness."

aoglam Report

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"Things are getting too spicy for the pepper!"

jdtalley83 Report

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"'Love you lots like Jelly Tots'. I grew up in South Africa but live in the USA now, and Jelly Tots are a South African sweet. She texts this to me often!"

tazzkirk Report

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"Watch your mouth or I'll goose your balloon knot."

reddit.com Report

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