I'm fully on board that OP was in the wrong in this specific situation. Introducing effective strangers as "grandma and grandpa," without even discussing it with your partner is, at best, weird. One thing that does bother me though - they'd been together for a year and a half. That's a pretty long time. Conversations about the long-term never came up? Surely I would have thought that would be really important, especially with a small child involved.

BF should have been upfront from the beginning about being unsure if he wanted to be in a relationship with someone who already has a child/children. Don't date a single parent if you're unsure about taking on the responsibility of a child. OP was also in the wrong for telling her child to call her bf's parents 'Grandma' and 'Grandpa' for many reasons. The main one being it's confusing for her child. At least OP was able to grow from this experience and realize where she went wrong. I hope her kid is ok.

this is why people need to discuss their relationship and roles in it every now and then

OK, yes she is YTA but the whole scenario with her sitting alone in the living room for an hour and a half because apparently the other three adults were so discombobulated that they couldn't even be decent during their get-together and just get through it and discuss concerns later is bizarre.

Well apparently this page has decided to choose my response for me. However my opinion is NTA. You did However, jump the gun/ run ahead of the locomotive. You should have introduced them as Michael's Mum and Dad. That being said, after A YEAR AND A HALF DATING with him being SO GOOD with your son, WHAT THE HECK WAS HE PLAYING AT sticking with you that long WITH A CHILD in the picture still claiming not to be 'serious' ? As the Mum though you need to be more careful next time and don't assume anything. I still think his attitude was extreme and he's TA. Seems to me he was just wanting the best of both worlds - a woman, with mothering tendencies and a kid he can play with and enjoy with no responsibility and no care or concern. I have to wonder , if this had not occurred, just how many years would he have kept you dangling on his hook pretending he "wasn't sure yet how serious it was".

After a year and a half dude needs to make up his mind. The boy and the mom can feel attached by now. I think OP just innocently introduced them that way because her and her boyfriend had been together so long. I feel she was strung along while he gets benefits and can't make a decision. After that much time, he needs to think about how the little boy feels thinking this guy might love me and my mom and stick around!

Don't wait a year and a half to learn you and BF are not on same page. These discussions need to happen within first 90 days. As in. Where is this relationship going? What you you want from it? What do I want from it? It takes courage and confidence, so get in the habit early on.

As a single parent, l only date sparingly now because most men l used to meet were terrified of dating a single mother even when l said clearly that l wasn't expecting them to play the role of father. Now that my child's an adult l can't be bothered, tbh. So l understand where OP comes from, but she handled it awfully. No need to be hard on her.

When I was a little kid my parents had me call their friends “Aunty” or “Uncle,” especially if they were older than my parents. We weren’t a fancy bunch, so Mr. or Mrs. wouldn’t have gone over well, but my parents didn’t like little kids calling adults by their first names either. I always knew they weren’t really my Aunty or Uncle, so there was never any confusion on my part and everyone seemed to think it was a good solution. Maybe something like that would have been good to have her 4-year old to call his parents?

You’re NTA! YAI- You’re An Idiot. Your poor son. I’m embarrassed for you

Anyone who would've responded like she wanted them to in that scenario would be a huge red flag. She needs therapy.

OK I'm going to throw out a different point of view here. I have been in OPs situation before. Not exactly like it, but similar. When you are a single parent, it is hard to find a partner that you are compatible with and who accepts your children. OP shouldn't have done what she did, that was grossly overstepping boundaries. But Jay is an a*****e in this story too. He basically played house for a year and a half with no intentions of actually taking that final step. That's a long time to be with someone. How do you not know whether you want to be with someone and be a part of their little family after 1.5 years? While I've never crossed lines like OP has, I've been in her shoes of dedicating a large chunk of time to a partner who seems all in, having serious conversations, then they leave. This is just a really sad situation for that little boy more than anything.

OP definitely NTA Single parent dating someone a year and a half it is 100% fine to assume they're the second parent figure. You don't date people with kids without being ready for that.. And if you are dating people with toddlers and you have no intent of being a parent YTA You get a few months of potential dates without meeting the kid, then you are going to be part of their life. The child will look to you for help... Srsly... The guy is the A

I think they overreacted. If they had dated less than a year, then maybe, but what did Jay expect? He knew it was a package deal. Why was he stringing her along if he wasn't that serious? At least now she knows and is free to find a real man.

Im really surprised to that there arwnt more ESH here comments. Because they all definitely do. How do we just gloss over the boyfriends childish behavior and "losing it on her" yeah what she did wasnt cool but that isnt either.

OP was delusional. Dude was nice to your kid because he was having sex with OP. She didn't know that if a man is into you, he's going to introduce you to the family. If you only met his parents 3 times in a year means he's not invested in you, because most people want you to know their family if you will be a part of it.

It sucks that it turned out this way but, to me, OP did mess up and the other people did not react inappropriately. I'm just glad OP realized and understands what happened and why it so they can can grow and better protect their son.

It's the same awkward situation when someone introduces themselves as auntie/uncle x to your child, and they are most definitely NOT auntie/uncle.

She was stubbornly waiting for a apology after a big fight!! I'm embarrassed for her bc I can imagine being a fly on that wall and listening to how loudly she defended and justified her actions. Haha I'm also curious just how she got it 100% wrong and how everyone else saw it as casual. This little boy, I'm sure, hears her telling him about all these plans for the future :(( She may not feel she is actively searching for a father for her child but it can't be no other way. She's a single mom. It doesn't sound like she'd like casual relationships so after a few dates you have to havensome sort of talk. Nothing deep but the understanding that she is a mom. Obv she didn't have that talk. Even if he didn't want the title of dad bc he would just be a step parent, those lines can't help but get blurred every now and then. Especially in cases like this where the bio dad is absent. Awww hope the little guy bounces back quickly. At the very least he'll miss his friend.

I think she made a minor mistake and Jay and his parents over reacted BIG time.

This is why with my bf I was cautious using the words dad or father until he told me he wanted to be called those things my daughter's sperm donor left us not long after she was born and I got with my bf when she was roughly 8 months old it took around a year for him to want to be called her dad it's a sensitive topic to broach when a small child is involved but conversations about it do need to happen

Leave the kid(s) out of your relationship until you are both certain the commitment is there. Getting close to a kid and then being ripped out of each other's lives is so freaking difficult and really unnecessary.

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Oh no no no no no. It's pretty common for a single mother to be like a heat-seeking missile looking for a daddy replacement for their kid. And 25 is still really like a boy, not a father figure. You really jumped the gun, that was just absolutely unthinkingly stupid to do. Being nice doesn't mean "I'll be your kids dad."