“What Were The Parents Thinking?” 30 People Share The Most Terrible Names They’ve Encountered (New Pics)
InterviewThroughout my life, I’ve encountered a lot of people who have had trouble with my name. Pronouncing it and remembering it prove to be a challenge for many, but spelling it seems to be even harder. Of course, I know that my name is not anything crazy or ridiculous, but apparently, it’s easier for people to call me ‘Addie’ (Which is fine, that’s cute!) or a butchered version of Adelaide instead. As a child, I bitterly told my mother that I wished I had been named ‘Sarah’ because it was the most common name at my school, and I was tired of people getting mine wrong.
But as an adult, I’m so glad I have a unique name, and I absolutely love it, though there are still occasions I have to repeat it 4 times before a person feels confident that they heard me correctly. So I cannot imagine what it’s like for all of the little “Tipheneighs” and “Brayxlies” out there in the world. And unfortunately, there are quite a few of them.
Below, we’ve gathered some of the most hilarious posts from the That Name is a Tragedeigh 2.0 Facebook group to show you pandas just how creative people have gotten when naming their kids. Be sure to upvote the names you can’t believe actually exist, and keep reading to find a conversation we were lucky enough to have with Zane Mauldon-Green, administrator of the group.
Then, if you’re in the mood to find even more ridiculous names to recommend to your worst enemy when they’re expecting a baby, you can find Bored Panda's last article featuring That Name is a Tragedeigh 2.0 ryet heare!
This post may include affiliate links.
She Acts Like Larissa Is In The Same Category As Agnes Or Gertrude. And Karissa Was Right. There
To learn more about this hilarious, and slightly tragic, Facebook group, we reached out to administrator Zane Mauldon-Green. He actually was kind enough to speak with Bored Panda the last time we covered the group as well, about 8 months ago. He explained then that he is not the founder of That Name is a Tragedeigh 2.0, but he joined shortly after it was created. “I’ve since taken over running the group, as the original creator has two young kids and is very busy with all the tasks that come with being a mum,” Zane explained.
The group has been around since 2020 and was formed to be a place to laugh at insanely unique spellings of names, without tolerating the shaming of traditional or cultural names from around the world. "Our members work really well together to create a healthy respect for all the cultures,” Zane previously told Bored Panda. "The members are so active that we are actually constantly being summoned to review posts and keyword alerts. We have even lovingly referred to the group as essentially a full-time job at times," he noted. "I myself take full advantage of that level of engagement by the occasional fictitious name post for everyone’s amusement."
Have At It!
I have family in Jississippi! I was born in Jiowa, but I was adopted by a family in Jalifornia. My dad was born in Jinnesota., though.
Load More Replies...🎵I've been to Jennessee, Jarizona, Jalabama, Joklahoma, Jutah and Jexas...I've been jeverywhere!🎵
It's for sure Jaine. Jassachusetts is pretty funny though.
Load More Replies...Jirginia, Jawaii, Jexas, Jouisiana, and Jrkansas are my favs! Is anyone else's autocorrect about to have a meltdown?😂
Someone on Reddit said it's Jonah (rhymes with Arizona). Not sure if they're correct or not, but it makes more sense than Jelaware.
I actually used to call an old friend Josh by the nickname Joshington
Load More Replies...Of course it's rockin'. Jalifornia is well known for its jearthquakes, after all 🤣
Load More Replies...Some love for the Jest Coast: Jalifornia, jarizina, jashington, joregon..
Certain MAGA loving Americans change the first letter of New York to a J as a slur already.
Jhode Island, South Jarolina, Jeorgia, Jermont, Jiowa, Jashington.... did we forget something?
Je M’appelle, Très Tragiques
Since it has been a while since Bored Panda checked in with That Name is a Tragedeigh 2.0, we asked Zane if he could fill us in on what the group has been up to. “It’s hard to believe it’s been 8 months, so much has happened,” he shared. “We’ve hit a milestone which was great to see, having now surpassed 50k members!”
“We also had to take an extensive break and suspend the group for a while to avoid Facebook deleting it,” Zane noted. “Unfortunately, their decisions aren’t always reviewed by an actual person, which can make having those decisions appealed quite difficult,” he explained.
Zane also revealed that there have been quite a few new name trends that have emerged this year. “The most common one tends to be names of characters from new TV shows or movies, which is very unfortunate for those children. Namely, the most recent one being Wednesdaigh, which has become quite popular due to the recent show.”
Yikes
With the naming crime she committed against the kids, when they grow up they might change it to “Don’twantamom”.
Nemesis
I Thought I Was Reading A Post From Here For A Moment
We were also curious if Zane believes people have gotten worse at naming our children over the years, or if we’ve just become more aware of these tragic names since we now have the ability to roast one another via the internet. “I think we have definitely gotten worse,” he shared. “Obviously, there have always been tragic names. However, as more and more children are born, many parents become desperate to give their children something to set them apart from others.”
“This has been happening with increasing regularity,” Zane noted. “For example, one I saw just this week was Nae-then as a freak version of Nathan. My cousin's name is Dylan (he’s 6), and there are 3 other kids in his year each with a different spelling. The most tragic one would be Dihlen.”
Beaux And Arrow
Slayden
Wednesdaigh
“As it happens, the ‘old fashioned’ names such as Margaret I believe will reappear in the future, as it becomes harder and harder to mangle standard names into tragic spellings,” Zane added.
Earlier this year, we asked him what some of the most appalling names he had ever seen were, and he shared, "I think any names that are deliberately spelled incorrectly for the purpose of being unique are some of the worst names. For example, Emma-leigh instead of Emily.”
“However, two of the worst I have seen are Knoxxli Blayze and Addilyn,” Zane noted. “Mainly just because they aren’t names, just weird mashups of other words or something worse."
I Wonder How Long It Takes For People To Decide On The Wrong Spelling Of A Name. Like, Did This Mom Consider Nerveaugna And Roll The Dice To Settle On This Butchering? We'll Never Know
No, Then?
Utterly Horrible
We were also curious what Zane thinks parents need to keep in mind when they are naming a child. “The most important thing to consider would simply be this: Your child has to use that name. If it’s a tragic or ‘unique’ spelling, they are constantly going to have to correct people, which gets exhausting and can be quite upsetting over time.”
“Also remember not to give children silly names,” he added. “A lot of businesses take every aspect of professionalism very seriously, and they will show bias against names they think are silly. Some may even ignore applications, believing them to be a hoax.”
Reignbeaux
T-Boo
To any parents out there considering giving their little ones a particularly unique spelling of a common name, Zane urges you to rethink your decision. “Your child will be unique without a tragic name. Everyone is different; we all have our own personalities and mannerisms. They don’t need a butchered name to be unique or special.”
Found In A Mom Group
Geknee Apparently It’s Pronounced “Genie”
A Spell
On a more positive note, we wanted to hear what some of Zane’s favorite names are, or any names he would actually consider using if he were to have children. “Honestly, I have a lot of names I like, but running this type of community wouldn’t work if I agreed with tragic names,” he shared. “Having said that, some of my favorite names are Theo, Julian, Harrison, Lance, Thomas, Emily, Sarah, Jessica, Breeanna and Kayla.”
“Basically any name that has been around for at least 2 generations is a good start,” Zane noted. “Don’t make new ones, look back in your family tree or in your yearbooks from when you were at school. There are plenty of names out there!”
I Found One!
My Nephew And His Wife Named Their Son: One Merlin Not A Joke, That Is His Name!
So I Don’t Get Kicked Out Of My Due Date Group
“At the end of the day, you are naming a person, not a pet,” Zane says. “Their name shouldn’t amuse you or be the name of your favorite movie character. Really consider what you would sound like if you had to call out their name in a busy shop. If it sounds embarrassing or silly, then don’t use it.”
“Kids at school can be really cruel, try to avoid names that could be used maliciously or turned into mean nicknames!” he added.
Eiladan
Thanks, I Hate It
"Green" Themed Boy's Names (To Go With Existing Sisters Olive And Sage). Wtf? Chive?
Finally, Zane urges parents to avoid ever butchering names from other cultures. “It's disrespectful and insulting to the cultures the names originally belong to,” he explained. “Do some research, and check the origin of names before you start using them. Some have quite important meanings in those cultures, and if your child ever travels later in life, they will hear about it, and the blame for it ultimately lies with the parents.”
Lol
Surely This Is The Orderer Being Silly, But *this Group* Made Me Feel Like It Could Happen!
From An Etsy Ad
We hope you’re enjoying this list of tragic names! While it can be extremely difficult to choose a name for a child, it’s important to always consider the ramifications of any name. Keep in mind how easy it is to spell, what it rhymes with, how many other people or famous characters have that name, and finally, if you yourself would be willing to be called that. Keep upvoting the pics you find most hilarious, and let us know of any other “chrajik” names you’ve heard in the comments below. Then, if you haven’t checked out Bored Panda’s previous article featuring That Name is a Tragedeigh 2.0, you can find it right here!
The Fact That They Used The Same Middle Name Twice But Spelled It Differently 😭 Also, Who Names Their Kid After A Lemon (Cytryna Is A Lemon). And The 2nd Middle Name Of The 7 Y/O, What Is Going On?!
Bashton
I Found Some!
So, I'm thinking of naming our little one either Blatant ChildAbuse (if it's a girl) or Obvious BullyTarget (if it's a boy). I wanted really unique names, but didn't want to go too far with the spelling - what do you guys think? 🤪
Seriously. These names made my heiny quiver in horror. I was teased and bullied all through my childhood for a SLIGHTLY unusual name (Crystal). I can't imagine what some of these kids are going to go through.
Load More Replies...Sometimes, I think the naming rules here in Portugal are too strict, but then someone goes and names her poor child Latrina...
This is why I'm so for having the US either follow most of europe and have naming lists or having a naming committee
Load More Replies...WTF is wrong with these parent's. "These are our children Tarquin, Placenta and Tampon"
Same here! ( and I used to work in pediatric medical records - saw the craziest/cringiest names given by parents who thought they were being extra creative ) 😬 😳 🙄 👎
Load More Replies...you could do a keyboard smash and come up with better names tbh
When I was around 10, I wrote a short story about mythical people who lived on a distant dragon-filled planet. I tried to make their names as weird as possible (Xaelya and Merydynaea were the main characters). Lo and behold, actual people are being named far worse things!
Seem to remember a TV show (on MTV)? Some lady named her little girl "Placenta" because it "sounded pretty". Also, the singer Nosmo King was named after a door sign in the hospital where he was born (no smoking)
Imagine these poor children trying to apply for a serious job at some point on their lifes... or online dating??? they never had chance. In Germany you are forbidden from giving your children ridiculous names.
Couple of idjits in US had their children removed from custody. Court papers showed history of domestic violence in home. Husband cannot read. Wife feared husband. Kids named Adolf Hitler, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, and Honszlynn Himler Jeannie. Circa 2010, in newspapers across country.
Load More Replies...I spend a lot of time on a subreddit about pet rats and I swear whenever someone asks for name suggestions, we put more thought into them than the parents in this post!
I named my EQ2 toons in a more humane manner than some people name their children.
Every baby name we considered we had our family make fun of the name. I liked Phoebe. My nephew said freebee. Next name! And so on down the line. Not trying to traumatize my kid. Life is hard enough
Now there's an interesting idea... test names with the youngsters!
Load More Replies...My daughter is a Covid baby and when we went to register her birth they commented on her name being lovely. She has quite a long name but all family names (Penelope Alice-Elsie). While waiting for the documents to print I was chatting to the lady who said that morning someone had given their baby the middle name corona 🤦🏼♀️
I went to school with a girl named Kristilynn. She told her parents when she was 6 that at 18 she was changing her name to Christina Lynn so she could get a job as something other than a stripper. Yes, she said that to them at 6 years old. She's in her 20s now and she did change her name. She went completely away from Christina though.
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm.
I got these all beat. Once worked with a family who pronounced their son's name Dee-Air. I'm usually good at figuring odd spellings, so I start typing Dierre and ask if there's an apostrophe. I s**t you not, this mother (not foreign mind you) dead pan tells me her little boy's name is spelled Dirt.
1. so this is why there’s rules for naming your children in Denmark. 2. Linus is pronounced leenus
I already am annoyed at my mother for changing one letter from the common spelling of my name which has meant i never found my name in a souvenir shop. These poor kids....
The one I am shocked to not see is the parents who thought KVIII-lin or some garbage like that spelled Kaitlyn. They LOVED the name, but thought it was too common so BAM the husband came up with using the Roman numeral of 8, VIII, instead and the wife thought that was the best idea ever. That poor, poor girl.
Let me introduce my triplets! Righty Tighty, Tighty Whiteys, and Lefty Lucy.
Indeed, that's the impression these names give. People who aren't too bright trying to sound "creative."
Load More Replies...Brigade Major Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache. In both cases Tollemache is pronounced differently from Tollemache.
Makes me feel a lot better about my longer than usual but not terrible name
I freaking hated my name and it was only Ken! Bashton is the name of a serial killer.
#2 - if the name is Jonah, then so what? That is a normal name. I named my kids with normal names and spellings, for the English speaking world, although part of me wanted to give them Irish names just to mess with teachers. However, instead of Caomhain, Daithe or Cú Chulainn, we have Alexander and George.
I went to school with a girl, her name was Holly Jolly. I mean seriously! She is married now, so new last name
Went to school with a guy named Bryan O'Brien. Even the teachers called him "Bob."
One of my moms friends knew someone who named their kid "Rona Corona"
Had a friend in high school called "Tonzohani". Turns out his parents wanted a "Aztec sounding name" but it has no meaning at all, just "sounds" aztec to them 🤦
In my state, you can legally change your name for free (don't have to pay filing fees, court costs, etc) once before your 19th birthday. I have friends who became a legal adult and immediately ditched the name mom and dad forced upon them. I have others who just got married and used the law to save money on the whole "change my last name to theirs" thing. When applying for a name change (regardless of age), there's a line asking why to make sure its not something stupid like "lost a bet" or "hiding from creditors. If you're 18, you just put 18 in that line and there are no rules.
This one isn’t horrible, but my aunt and uncle have two dogs and a daughter. One dog is named peaches, the other peary. Not bad. Their kid’s name is clementine. See the pattern?
Thank goodness it only costs around $100 to change your name in my state
It took me Hours, HOURS, to read this list because every entry gave me a stroke!
I love my parents, but they named me after a group of Swedish great, great, great grandmothers who all had similar names (it was a popular name in Sweden in the 1700-1800s). No one can pronounce it and, if they can pronounce it, they can't spell it. However, compared to some of these, I'm grateful they went with ancestorial name as opposed to whatever some of these are.
I see the courts getting flooded with name-change requests in a few years
A little backstory on my 1st daugther's name; Fave aunt of all time, Sarah Jane. She did a silly with xmas cards one year and put "Sahara Jane Doo-Dah" That was just how she was. 1st daughter is born, we're going to name her Sara Jane. My MIL had a fit, didn't like it. So in the hospital , in front of MIL, I changed her name to Sahara Jane. The look on MIL face was priceless. 2nd daughter; Didn't want to know gender, so we said : Evan Michael, or Evyn Michelle... Evyn won. I have seen the name spelled that way in other situations. She loves her name! Sahara... she goes by Sara.
Germany used to have a rather strict policy on names. If you wanted an unusual name, you had to fight it out with the clerks at the civil registry office. That strict policy has been watered down considerably, though. Today, I think maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to protect the kids from the stupidity of their parents.
You wouldn't have thought that merely scrolling down a list could make me go from kinda happy to wanting to cleanse the world, but here we are. (in other news, I have two short, normal names, spelt normally, and have to spell them both to people down the phone. I feel for these kids)
I’m happy my country has somewhat strict naming practise. There is a need for that. Some of the declined names from last year: Lucifer, Hades, Mo’roti, Misfit, Aríana, Bizkit, Eiyahu, Lord, Jda, Rí, Yocefina, Sphinx, Abraxas, Alafelar, Guybrush, Kahvi Maito (eng. Coffee Milk), Ikuinen Taivaan Jumala (eng. Eternal God of Sky) 😂
Eternal God of the Sky sounds pretty damn badass.
Load More Replies...When I find someone with a stupid name I always say "Never mind, there's always deed poll" This is usually followed up with information on how to legally change their name to something better.
So, I'm thinking of naming our little one either Blatant ChildAbuse (if it's a girl) or Obvious BullyTarget (if it's a boy). I wanted really unique names, but didn't want to go too far with the spelling - what do you guys think? 🤪
Seriously. These names made my heiny quiver in horror. I was teased and bullied all through my childhood for a SLIGHTLY unusual name (Crystal). I can't imagine what some of these kids are going to go through.
Load More Replies...Sometimes, I think the naming rules here in Portugal are too strict, but then someone goes and names her poor child Latrina...
This is why I'm so for having the US either follow most of europe and have naming lists or having a naming committee
Load More Replies...WTF is wrong with these parent's. "These are our children Tarquin, Placenta and Tampon"
Same here! ( and I used to work in pediatric medical records - saw the craziest/cringiest names given by parents who thought they were being extra creative ) 😬 😳 🙄 👎
Load More Replies...you could do a keyboard smash and come up with better names tbh
When I was around 10, I wrote a short story about mythical people who lived on a distant dragon-filled planet. I tried to make their names as weird as possible (Xaelya and Merydynaea were the main characters). Lo and behold, actual people are being named far worse things!
Seem to remember a TV show (on MTV)? Some lady named her little girl "Placenta" because it "sounded pretty". Also, the singer Nosmo King was named after a door sign in the hospital where he was born (no smoking)
Imagine these poor children trying to apply for a serious job at some point on their lifes... or online dating??? they never had chance. In Germany you are forbidden from giving your children ridiculous names.
Couple of idjits in US had their children removed from custody. Court papers showed history of domestic violence in home. Husband cannot read. Wife feared husband. Kids named Adolf Hitler, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, and Honszlynn Himler Jeannie. Circa 2010, in newspapers across country.
Load More Replies...I spend a lot of time on a subreddit about pet rats and I swear whenever someone asks for name suggestions, we put more thought into them than the parents in this post!
I named my EQ2 toons in a more humane manner than some people name their children.
Every baby name we considered we had our family make fun of the name. I liked Phoebe. My nephew said freebee. Next name! And so on down the line. Not trying to traumatize my kid. Life is hard enough
Now there's an interesting idea... test names with the youngsters!
Load More Replies...My daughter is a Covid baby and when we went to register her birth they commented on her name being lovely. She has quite a long name but all family names (Penelope Alice-Elsie). While waiting for the documents to print I was chatting to the lady who said that morning someone had given their baby the middle name corona 🤦🏼♀️
I went to school with a girl named Kristilynn. She told her parents when she was 6 that at 18 she was changing her name to Christina Lynn so she could get a job as something other than a stripper. Yes, she said that to them at 6 years old. She's in her 20s now and she did change her name. She went completely away from Christina though.
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm.
I got these all beat. Once worked with a family who pronounced their son's name Dee-Air. I'm usually good at figuring odd spellings, so I start typing Dierre and ask if there's an apostrophe. I s**t you not, this mother (not foreign mind you) dead pan tells me her little boy's name is spelled Dirt.
1. so this is why there’s rules for naming your children in Denmark. 2. Linus is pronounced leenus
I already am annoyed at my mother for changing one letter from the common spelling of my name which has meant i never found my name in a souvenir shop. These poor kids....
The one I am shocked to not see is the parents who thought KVIII-lin or some garbage like that spelled Kaitlyn. They LOVED the name, but thought it was too common so BAM the husband came up with using the Roman numeral of 8, VIII, instead and the wife thought that was the best idea ever. That poor, poor girl.
Let me introduce my triplets! Righty Tighty, Tighty Whiteys, and Lefty Lucy.
Indeed, that's the impression these names give. People who aren't too bright trying to sound "creative."
Load More Replies...Brigade Major Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache. In both cases Tollemache is pronounced differently from Tollemache.
Makes me feel a lot better about my longer than usual but not terrible name
I freaking hated my name and it was only Ken! Bashton is the name of a serial killer.
#2 - if the name is Jonah, then so what? That is a normal name. I named my kids with normal names and spellings, for the English speaking world, although part of me wanted to give them Irish names just to mess with teachers. However, instead of Caomhain, Daithe or Cú Chulainn, we have Alexander and George.
I went to school with a girl, her name was Holly Jolly. I mean seriously! She is married now, so new last name
Went to school with a guy named Bryan O'Brien. Even the teachers called him "Bob."
One of my moms friends knew someone who named their kid "Rona Corona"
Had a friend in high school called "Tonzohani". Turns out his parents wanted a "Aztec sounding name" but it has no meaning at all, just "sounds" aztec to them 🤦
In my state, you can legally change your name for free (don't have to pay filing fees, court costs, etc) once before your 19th birthday. I have friends who became a legal adult and immediately ditched the name mom and dad forced upon them. I have others who just got married and used the law to save money on the whole "change my last name to theirs" thing. When applying for a name change (regardless of age), there's a line asking why to make sure its not something stupid like "lost a bet" or "hiding from creditors. If you're 18, you just put 18 in that line and there are no rules.
This one isn’t horrible, but my aunt and uncle have two dogs and a daughter. One dog is named peaches, the other peary. Not bad. Their kid’s name is clementine. See the pattern?
Thank goodness it only costs around $100 to change your name in my state
It took me Hours, HOURS, to read this list because every entry gave me a stroke!
I love my parents, but they named me after a group of Swedish great, great, great grandmothers who all had similar names (it was a popular name in Sweden in the 1700-1800s). No one can pronounce it and, if they can pronounce it, they can't spell it. However, compared to some of these, I'm grateful they went with ancestorial name as opposed to whatever some of these are.
I see the courts getting flooded with name-change requests in a few years
A little backstory on my 1st daugther's name; Fave aunt of all time, Sarah Jane. She did a silly with xmas cards one year and put "Sahara Jane Doo-Dah" That was just how she was. 1st daughter is born, we're going to name her Sara Jane. My MIL had a fit, didn't like it. So in the hospital , in front of MIL, I changed her name to Sahara Jane. The look on MIL face was priceless. 2nd daughter; Didn't want to know gender, so we said : Evan Michael, or Evyn Michelle... Evyn won. I have seen the name spelled that way in other situations. She loves her name! Sahara... she goes by Sara.
Germany used to have a rather strict policy on names. If you wanted an unusual name, you had to fight it out with the clerks at the civil registry office. That strict policy has been watered down considerably, though. Today, I think maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to protect the kids from the stupidity of their parents.
You wouldn't have thought that merely scrolling down a list could make me go from kinda happy to wanting to cleanse the world, but here we are. (in other news, I have two short, normal names, spelt normally, and have to spell them both to people down the phone. I feel for these kids)
I’m happy my country has somewhat strict naming practise. There is a need for that. Some of the declined names from last year: Lucifer, Hades, Mo’roti, Misfit, Aríana, Bizkit, Eiyahu, Lord, Jda, Rí, Yocefina, Sphinx, Abraxas, Alafelar, Guybrush, Kahvi Maito (eng. Coffee Milk), Ikuinen Taivaan Jumala (eng. Eternal God of Sky) 😂
Eternal God of the Sky sounds pretty damn badass.
Load More Replies...When I find someone with a stupid name I always say "Never mind, there's always deed poll" This is usually followed up with information on how to legally change their name to something better.