Woman Freaks Out After Finding Out MIL’s Plans For Her Future Child: “That’s An Adoption”

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but after Reddit user, Left_Time7700, learned what kind of help her mother-in-law had in mind, the woman started thinking she would rather do it alone with her husband or not have kids at all. The lady wanted to encourage the childfree couple to have a baby and said she would alleviate their parental stress by taking the little one away with her for the first couple of years abroad. However, her son and his wife hated the idea.

The mother-daughter-in-law relationship can be a beautiful bond where both women feel valued and respected

Woman in red smiling at older woman with glasses and a saree, holding shopping bags, outdoors.

Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

But this woman feels like her husband’s mom won’t stop overstepping her boundaries

Text excerpt discussing concerns over MIL's comment about taking the baby to her home country.

Text exchange about MIL's comment on taking the baby, causing fear and concern.

Baby wrapped in a white blanket, looking up with wide eyes, being held gently in someone's arms.

Image credits: Gigin Krishnan / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt reacting to MIL's baby comment; woman expresses disbelief and refusal.

Text image discussing discomfort over MIL's baby comment, mentioning trust and uncomfortable feelings.

Text expressing a woman's anxiety over her MIL's baby comments and pressure, seeking advice on <a target=

how to handle the situation.” />

Woman looking concerned and thoughtful on a sofa, reflecting on MIL's baby comment.

Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text clarifying MIL's visit duration to Europe, limited to 90 days due to visa rules and financial dependency.

Text discussing cultural norms about sending a baby away with grandparents, highlighting Southeast Asian practices.

Image credits: Left_Time7700

In the West, relatively few children live with their grandparents without their mom and dad

According to the United States Grandparents and Their Coresident Grandchildren report, there were
around 7.1 million grandchildren under the age of 18 living with grandparents in the country in 2022, and more than half of those (4.2 million) lived in grandparent-maintained households, while the remaining portion lived in either parent-maintained households (2.7 million) or another arrangement, such as having an aunt- or uncle-maintained household (221,000).

However, even in grandparent-maintained households, it was more common to have at least some parents (38.6% of the time, both of them were involved, 36.6% it was just the mother and 6.2% it was just the father) present compared to having no parents present (18.6%). This was true whether the grandchildren lived with both grandparents, their grandmother, or their grandfather.

Image credits: Rajesh Rajput / Unspalsh (not the actual photo)

Judging from the information that we have, it’s difficult to say if the mother-in-law is deliberately trying to undermine the woman. As some of the commenters pointed out, it could have been cultural differences that caused the tension. You can easily find articles on the internet about Indian grandparents moving overseas just to help with childcare, so why shouldn’t they consider the opposite arrangement instead?

Author Danijela Jokic Vaislay, who moved from Bosnia and Herzegovina to India, where she has already spent more than a decade, said her European friends “often complain about how difficult they find it to manage with small children, especially if they are working. Yet, they are not comfortable leaving their children with grandparents; on the off chance they do leave the kids, the little ones spend the whole time crying for their mother.”

But in India, she sees children growing up in joint families and developing a sort of independence from their parents.

“They are comfortable talking, playing, staying, or even travelling alone with their grandparents, uncles and aunties, cousins… and they almost do not even notice that the parents are not around. It is difficult for me to imagine this in my home country, where children spend all of their time with their parents and start crying even when mommy goes to the bathroom,” she explained.

Maybe the Redditor and her mother-in-law can still figure something out that works for everyone.

Some of the people who read the story said the MIL was out of line

Reddit comments discussing a MIL's unsettling baby comment about taking the baby, causing concern.

Image of a conversation where a woman expresses fear over MIL's baby comment and boundary issues.

Text exchange about MIL's unsettling baby comment and trust issues.

Discussion about MIL's baby comment causing concern for woman.

Conversation about MIL's unsettling baby comment, causing worry and fear.

Text screenshot: Advice on setting boundaries with mother-in-law regarding baby visits.

Comment advising how to respond to MIL's baby pressure and plan.

Text screenshot discussing concerns about mother-in-law's role in raising kids and suggesting alternatives.

Comment discussing MIL's control and testing boundaries with jokes, related to baby scenario.

Text screenshot discussing boundaries and consequences related to inappropriate baby comments from MIL.

But some were a little more understanding

Reddit discussion about MIL’s unsettling baby comment, focusing on cultural practices and family boundaries.

Text conversation about MIL's overbearing involvement in baby's life, advice given to communicate feelings clearly.

Reddit comment discussing infants living overseas with grandparents without parents.

Reddit comment criticizing MIL's baby comment as entitled, suggesting to have another child to raise.

Text exchange about MIL's visit and baby, with humorous <a target=

Comment thread about MIL taking baby, with warning against letting her stay.

Reddit comment about feeling scared for baby's safety due to MIL's actions.

A few also shared their own similar experiences

Text about MIL wanting to take baby to home country, shared by user MNSOTA24 three years ago on a public forum.

Text detailing a cautionary tale about a woman worried by her mother-in-law's baby comment, referencing passport control.

Text discusses a mother-in-law's offer to take the baby, making the woman feel scared and uneasy.

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