Childfree Woman Uncovers Husband’s Plan Before He Could Baby Trap Her: “This Marriage Is Over”

I love a good joke as much as the next person. Whether it begins with “Knock, knock,” a horse walking into a bar or a cheesy set-up for a hilarious pun, I’m all ears. But there are some off-limits topics that we should never poke fun at, especially if they’re already sensitive to the audience.

One childfree woman reached out to Reddit seeking advice after her mother-in-law made a “joke” about messing with her birth control that she did not find funny at all. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as conversations with the author and Sara Scott of Wonder & Sundry. 

This woman and her husband always agreed that they didn’t want children

Hands holding a condom in its wrapper, related to birth control jokes.

Image credits: a_medvedkov / envato (not the actual photo)

But after her mother-in-law casually joked about sabotaging her birth control, she began to get worried

Text discussing MIL joke about sabotaging birth control to become a grandma.

Text discussing mother-in-law's passive-aggressive joke about having grandchildren despite couple's decision.

Image credits: Few_Function_9129

The woman also provided some more background information on the situation

Reddit discussion about birth control and readiness for kids between users.

Reddit thread discussing birth control options, focusing on condoms and personal decisions.

Conversation about marriage and differing views on having children.

Readers assured her that she had every right to assert boundaries, and some called out her husband for failing to show support

Reddit comment about MIL jokes on birth control, urging husband to address his mother's behavior.

Comment discussing mother's joke about birth control, suggesting husband gets a vasectomy.

Comment questioning husband's vasectomy decision in a thread about MIL jokes related to birth control and becoming a grandma.

Reddit comment reacting to mother-in-law jokes about birth control and wanting grandchildren.

Online comment about jokes regarding birth control, humorously expressing disapproval.

Text discussing MIL's inappropriate joke about birth control and becoming a grandma.

Comment highlights concerns over husband's reaction to MIL's remarks about birth control and grandparenting wishes.

Comment discussing birth control options like IUDs, implants, or shots.

Comment about MIL joking on birth control and vasectomy advice.

Comment discussing birth control in a humorous context with a warning about pregnancy.

Comment mentioning pregnancy termination in response to MIL jokes about birth control.

Comment discussing blocking a mother-in-law joking about birth control sabotage.

Reddit comment criticizing husband for enabling mother-in-law's behavior about becoming a grandma.

Comment criticizing husband's response to MIL's inappropriate actions regarding birth control.

Text post about MIL jokingly interfering with son's birth control, causing marital conflict.

Reddit comment discussing vasectomy and making a statement to a mother-in-law.

Comment reacting to MIL joke about birth control, discussing neutering and spaying.

Reddit comment discussing trust issues related to birth control and suggesting precautions.

The author later confronted her husband and shared an update on the status of her marriage

Woman deep in thought, expressing concern, in a sunlit room regarding MIL jokes about birth control.

Image credits: drazenphoto / envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Few_Function_9129

“She doesn’t want grandchildren because she loves them; she wants to have them as some sort of trophy”

To find out more about this situation, we reached out to the author, Reddit user Few_Function_9129. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and reveal whether or not she’s heard from her mother-in-law since this incident. “So far, I haven’t heard from her or my ex,” she shared.

The woman also noted that this isn’t the first time she has had an issue with her mother-in-law. “I have, multiple times. They were all involving grandchildren,” she said. “She would often nag me about having children, until one time I just outright said that me and my ex wouldn’t be having children. Then came the classic, ‘But who will take care of you when you’re old?’ ‘You’ll be lonely and miserable!'”

As for why the mother-in-law is so adamant about having grandkids, Few_Function_9129 says, “She wants to be a grandmother for the title of it. She doesn’t want grandchildren because she loves them; it’s because she wants to have them as some sort of trophy.”

Finally, we asked the author what she thought of the replies to her post. “The responses helped me a a lot in figuring out what to do next,” she shared. “I’m very grateful for everyone that commented.”

“I was told frequently that deciding not to have children was selfish”

In many places, it’s still the norm to want to have children. But, as I’m sure you’ve heard, birth rates are declining in Europe, the United States and many Asian countries. According to the Pew Research Center, in 2023, 47% of American adults between the ages of 18 and 49 said they’re unlikely to ever have kids. In 2018, however, only 37% of adults in the US said the same.

To find out more about what it’s like to be a childfree woman in this day and age, we got in touch with Sara Scott of Wonder & Sundry.

First, we asked Sara how common it is for parents to pressure their children to have kids. “Many parents of adult children want grandchildren, but, unfortunately, some do not respect the fact that it’s not their decision whether or not to have them,” she told Bored Panda. “I know of many friends whose parents have crossed the line (though not like the OP’s MIL—yikes!) when they didn’t produce offspring on their timetable.”

“In my own experience, I was told frequently that deciding not to have children was selfish,” Sara continued. “Part of that, I’m sure, was denying them grandchildren. But I also think that they expected me to go through what they went through, and [they assumed] that a child-free life was stunted in some way.”

“I don’t think that most parents are deliberately wanting their adult children to suffer, but I think that there’s an undercurrent of it in these types of situations,” she added.

So how can childfree individuals set boundaries with people who don’t respect their choice not to have kids?

“In my case, I worked through this in therapy—not the decision not to have kids, as I just didn’t and didn’t feel bad about it personally—but the anger my parents had toward me about my decision,” Sara says. “I then had conversations with my parents about it.”

“I explained that it wasn’t their decision to make and that their refusal to accept my choice was hurting our relationship. It took a lot of conversations, and I still don’t think they really understand my decision, but they did come around to respecting my choices,” she continued.

“I can’t think of a single decision that affects our lives more than the decision of whether or not to have children”

Pregnant belly against soft light background, highlighting anticipation and family themes.

Image credits: freestocks / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Sara added that not all parents are like this though, so she recommends discussing this with a therapist who will validate your feelings before approaching the topic with your parents. “If they don’t accept your choice, then take the steps you need to take to protect yourself,” she shared.

As for why it’s so important for people to decide for themselves whether or not they want kids, Sara says, “I can’t think of a single decision that affects our lives more than the decision of whether or not to have children.”

“If we decide to have kids just to please our parents, then we aren’t really living our own lives,” she noted. “And that would be terrible, not just for us, but for the children who would know. Because it always comes out in one way or another, that they weren’t really wanted.”

Finally, Sara says society as a whole should be discussing this topic more often. “There’s often a sense of shame, or, even believing that we’re being selfish if having kids just isn’t something that we want to do,” she told Bored Panda. “And if we aren’t talking about it and stuffing those feelings down, then we are giving into the idea that there’s just one path for women.”

“I’m an aunt to three incredible children, and being a part of their lives has brought me incredible joy,” Sara added. “I love them to bits, and they love me. We have a blast, and I’m an important part of their lives. We have the relationship that we have precisely because I am not a parent myself. This has taught me that there’s more than one way to nurture in this world.”

Finally, readers applauded the woman for standing up for herself

Reddit comment discussing mother-in-law jokes and boundary issues, with strong opinions on family dynamics.

Comment discussing childlessness and personal contentment, referencing having a 37-year-old son and three chihuahuas.

Text exchange discussing tampering with birth control, referencing MIL jokes about becoming a grandma.

Online comment reacting to a joke about MIL and birth control with support and criticism.

Text on frustration over birth control tampering to become a grandma, questioning relationship decisions.

Comment discussing marriage annulment due to tampering with birth control.

Comment about returning with company in MIL birth control joke thread.

Comment discussing pregnancy and leaving, related to MIL and birth control jokes.

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