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Woman Is Allergic To Dog, MIL Still Insists On Bringing Over Hers, So Woman Cancels Party
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Woman Is Allergic To Dog, MIL Still Insists On Bringing Over Hers, So Woman Cancels Party

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Having a dog around can be very fun if you like dogs. If you don’t, well, then it’s likely not as pleasant. While sometimes this dislike is simply for no reason, there are cases where it stems from legitimate causes like allergies or fear. The worst a dog owner can do in this case is to force a person to be near their pet. 

That’s exactly what the OP’s mother-in-law constantly does. To make matters worse, she justifies it by claiming it’s her emotional support animal. Interestingly, she never trained the pet for that role, which only deepened the fight with her daughter-in-law.

More info: Mumsnet

If you’re not a fan of dogs, having one around can be quite an unpleasant experience

Image credits: Alexandra Mazzola / Pexels (not the actual photo)

A woman’s mother-in-law has a dog that she calls her emotional support animal, even though it isn’t officially trained for that

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Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The woman dislikes the dog not only because it’s untrained but also because she’s afraid of it and allergic to it

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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This year, the woman was set to host a Christmas party at her home, so she asked her mom-in-law to not bring over her dog, but she refused

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Image credits: Moreacatperson

This led to the woman canceling the party and telling the mother-in-law that from that point on she was not allowed in their home

The post’s author is scared of dogs. Experts think that this phobia comes from a mix of genetics, personal history, and environment. People with mental illnesses like anxiety are more prone to have it, especially if they’ve had a scary experience with a dog or another animal.

Besides the phobia, the OP has an allergy to dogs. Typically, this allergy has symptoms of swelling and itching of the eyes and nose, redness or rashes on skin touched or licked by a dog, shortness of breath, or even an asthma attack after being in contact with a pet. Quite unpleasant, right? 

So, it’s no surprise the woman doesn’t want a dog in her house. The problem is that her mother-in-law has one she calls her “emotional support animal” (ESA). These animals provide emotional support (hence the name), companionship, and comfort to a person struggling with serious mental health illnesses. 

At least in the United States, an ESA isn’t considered a service animal. What is considered is that it can be any type of animal, as long as it’s manageable in public. 

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The author’s mom-in-law doesn’t go anywhere without her dog, stating she can’t be apart from it. This fact causes tension in their family. First, it’s the fact that the original poster has a phobia and allergy; thus, as we already said, she doesn’t want it at her home. 

Secondly, the dog isn’t trained, and remember what we said about an ESA having to be manageable in public? Funnily enough, this reason also applies to why the MIL doesn’t want to leave it home alone, as it tends to be quite destructive since it doesn’t have a crate. 

The OP added that she views this dog as a spoiled fur baby labeled as an emotional support dog, even though it isn’t one. Apparently, the mother-in-law only got a vest that indicates that, but the dog itself isn’t recognized or even trained as one. 

Image credits: Samson Katt / Pexels (not the actual photo)

So, you see, there’s quite some tension. This brings us to the Christmas party the OP was meant to host. She expressed that she didn’t want the dog at it, which caused the MIL to say that the OP simply could take antihistamines – medicine to relieve symptoms of allergy. 

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Except the woman didn’t want to take medicine for a situation that could be easily avoided by her mom-in-law leaving the dog at home, which isn’t that far away from her son’s house. But the MIL didn’t budge. So, the original poster decided to cancel the party. After all, it wasn’t last minute, so everyone would be able to find alternative arrangements. 

Plus, she banned the husband’s mom from coming over at all. Now, she says if the woman wants to meet up with her son or grandchild, she can do it at her house or somewhere else that isn’t their home.

After this, the author came on Mumsnet to ask whether she went too far. As the blog’s poll showed, most of the people didn’t think so. The comments showed that too. Folks were praising the woman for standing up for herself. 

A few were worried about the MIL’s mental state – for them it seemed that she might need more support than just a dog. Still, it doesn’t mean she’s entitled to make her daughter-in-law sick by bringing a dog she’s allergic to. After all, these symptoms aren’t only unpleasant –  they can be dangerous to her health. For instance, prolonged exposure to the allergen can cause chronic airway inflammation. 

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There’s a saying that a dog is a person’s best friend, but in this case, it doesn’t quite apply, as it’s more the source of family drama. Well, it’s sad seeing a family fight over that, especially when there are people who are being too stubborn to reason with. We hope that one day they’ll be able to find a way to overcome these troubles. And if they don’t, at least the woman was able to stand up to her MIL and not let her walk all over her.

Most people online praised the woman for standing up to her husband’s mom, while others questioned why she is so insistent on taking the dog everywhere

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Ugnė Bulotaitė

Ugnė Bulotaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

Read less »
Ugnė Bulotaitė

Ugnė Bulotaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

I am a writer at Bored Panda. I have loved creating and writing down stories about people and things since I was little and I think this passion led me to get degrees in sociology, communication, and journalism. These degrees opened various paths for me, and I got a chance to be a volunteer in the human rights field, and also try myself out in social research and journalism areas. Besides writing, my passions include pop culture: music, movies, TV shows; literature, and board games. In fact, I have been dubbed a board games devotee by some people in my life.

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

Read less »

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

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Stacy Bender
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had a friend do this. Her dog that caught her diabetic lows died. (This dog figured it out on its own and was house trained by its pervious owner who passed away.) she was so emotional that supposedly her doctor told her to get another dog. She couldn't afford to get a diabetic service dog, so we found training videos and she promised to train the dog and get it socialized. Did she? NO. But she told everyone it was. The thing was a nightmare. Our friendship ended after the 3rd time the thing bit me. (It was very aggressive and luckily for me it was a small dog.) she refused to believe, even though she sat there and watched it attack me. I know people with legitimate service dogs, so her actions royaly pissed me off.

Sand Ers
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who don’t have allergies frequently seem to think antihistamines are some sort of magic bullet, relieving all symptoms and allowing a person to be completely unaffected. It ain’t so. They can reduce symptoms and make life more bearable. But I’ve never found one to be more than moderately effective against my pollen allergies. The most effective remedy for me was moving somewhere where whatever I’m allergic to isn’t prevalent. Total serendipity, but I’ll take it.

arthbach
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the comments, some ignorant person said, "There's no such thing as an emotional support dog." Of course there is. They are animals trained to help with conditions like autism, PTSD, anxiety, depression etc. However, whilst a family pet can be a great comfort, they are generally not trained in supporting humans. The dog in this story doesn't sound like an emotional support dog.

Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely! But those dogs are trained. This dog is...not. It's OP's house + DH agrees so, tuff luck, MIL!

Load More Replies...
Another Panda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are legitimate emotional support animals, but the must be trained/well behaved if they are to be in public. If the animal is not sufficiently trained or otherwise unsuitable to be in public, they must be left at home.

supertall
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am afraid of dogs and don't allow them in my home. Period. Doesn't matter if you're my mother-in-law or the King of England.

Fussy1
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can give MIL and her dog a joint Christmas gift, pet and owner obedience/training classes. Hopefully one of them will learn something. My money is on the dog!

Gavin Johnson
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner has two dogs, we wouldn’t dream of taking them to someone’s home unless they expressed an interest in seeing the dogs. We assume that people DON’T want to have dog hairs in their homes and that they DON’T want two furry toddlers running around investigating the corners of their home. If you NEED a service dog then clearly the rules are different but a family friend of ours with a guide dog is pretty outspoken about people who think a vest makes their dog a service dog, you give real service dogs a very bad name, true service dogs are well trained, VERY well trained, their owners are equally well trained in what their dog can and can’t do.

G A
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You just don't take pets to other people's houses. It's just not on. Maybe she should get a 20 ft python and drop round the MILs house with it?

Beth Wheeler
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are allergic and terrified of dogs and told her to leave her mutt at home. She said no, take meds so you cancelled & she said it's her son's decision. Just who does this b***h think she is? It's your house, you can't have dogs around you, she has a FAKE vest on the dog. I love your husband for backing you up on this. His crazy mean Mama is learning some boundaries that she doesn't like...oh boo hoo hoo. One weekend I was babysitting my cousin's husky because they had to go out of town. I told them I would have to bring the dog I had then for the 1 night because my son wasn't home & she was better trained than the husky. There were no problems I kept her on the leash for a couple of hours and had them walking near each other, the husky growled a couple of times but that was it, mine backed up and stayed near me or slept in the kitchen. Their dog wanted to stay outside that night, big fenced yard and separate garage with doggy door. My son picked up our dog the next day

Gwyn
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good crate training is very good for the dog. It gives them a safe space and reduces anxiety. What bad habits is she teaching this dog by spoiling him? If it goes far enough he'll start to bite people and she'll make excuses and coddle the dog even more. Someone should take the dog away from that lady.

Papa
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It seems like this would be an easy problem to solve. Get the husband to reach out to his mother and say "Leave the dog at home, or you stay home."

Michael MacKinnon
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is a deliberate and petty power play by the mother-in-law, who knows that the daughter-in-law is allergic to dogs.

Sarah Mezei
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a certified service dog, he's a standard poodle, so he doesn't shed. But if someone still asked me to not bring him into their home, then he's not able to go into that person's home. It's only public locations that can't kick him out, but even stores, restaurants, etc can still kick a service dog out if they're misbehaving. MIL's dog isn't even trained.

Marty Sunderland
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dog fur and dander that trigger allergies remain after the dog is gone. Mil can host the party, and O P can enjoy a peaceful day at home

Nikki Angulo
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a dog, and when I go home for holidays, she comes with me to my mom’s house (mom is fine with it) but I would never take her to my cousin or aunt’s house! My cousin’s husband is allergic to dogs and cats (and many many other things.) He will come for short visits to my mom’s house (she has cats) but the only family dinners my mom hosts are BBQs because they can be outside. My dog is also crate-trained. With cats, it’s a lifesaver!

Kellynn D
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i fully support dogs(i do think other animals can work, but there's limits) that are used for medical support and emotional support... when fully trained... but there is a limit of where they can be taken when it comes to private homes, especially when there's an allergy involved. she lives nearby, the animal isn't actually a trained support one, isn't actually trained at all and is destructive. i wouldn't want it at my house either, and then we have the fact she's allergic, that's just a NOPE. like i'm currently training 3 bengal kittens, harness, leash, and socialising etc. they're not support animals, but i'm making it so i can take them where regular dogs would be typically allowed(except places holding food of course, no markets etc)... they're probably way better behaved already at 13/14 months old, than it sounds like this dog is. training requires effort and the MIL clearly cannot be bothered.

CBolt
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since MIL said, "it's not down to you, it's down to my son & he will override you ..... " I wish OP had said if her husband had gotten involved & told his mother he stood with his wife (must not have or she wouldn't have had to cancel the party in order to keep the dog away - maybe tell the invitees that MIL has chosen - yes she chose her dog - not to attend in case any of them are especially close to her - can't imagine) OR if he just stayed out of it, leaving OP to cancel. Or, maybe he did side with MIL- "If Mommy can't bring Precious Doggy, then there's no party." Frankly, I wouldn't want a person like that in my home in the 1st place but just imagine if she did agree to come without the dog - the things she would say abt DIL depriving her of her "support" dog (I feel sorry for the dog), etc, ruining the whole event, to her delight - perfect revenge. OPs husband should have dealt with his mother long before this.

Kristen Sharp
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No such thing as an emotional support dog? Where are you living... under a rock? And monster in law can just FOAD!

keryn stone
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely do as you wish in your own home. My only suggestion would be that she could bring the dog but it must remain outside. If she’s not willing to compromise then let her stay or come under your rules. Seems a shame your remaining family suffer.

Natasha Clark
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA!! Her "MIL" definitely is since act as if the home OP lives in with her son is not her own either. You don't disrespect the woman of the house.

Maisey Myles
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a 5 lb Chihuahua. He’s my ESA as I have PTSD, major depression/anxiety and high blood pressure. He keeps me in check, but he’s always in my/his purse. Usually no one knows he’s there unless they know me and want him to play

Stacy Bender
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had a friend do this. Her dog that caught her diabetic lows died. (This dog figured it out on its own and was house trained by its pervious owner who passed away.) she was so emotional that supposedly her doctor told her to get another dog. She couldn't afford to get a diabetic service dog, so we found training videos and she promised to train the dog and get it socialized. Did she? NO. But she told everyone it was. The thing was a nightmare. Our friendship ended after the 3rd time the thing bit me. (It was very aggressive and luckily for me it was a small dog.) she refused to believe, even though she sat there and watched it attack me. I know people with legitimate service dogs, so her actions royaly pissed me off.

Sand Ers
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who don’t have allergies frequently seem to think antihistamines are some sort of magic bullet, relieving all symptoms and allowing a person to be completely unaffected. It ain’t so. They can reduce symptoms and make life more bearable. But I’ve never found one to be more than moderately effective against my pollen allergies. The most effective remedy for me was moving somewhere where whatever I’m allergic to isn’t prevalent. Total serendipity, but I’ll take it.

arthbach
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the comments, some ignorant person said, "There's no such thing as an emotional support dog." Of course there is. They are animals trained to help with conditions like autism, PTSD, anxiety, depression etc. However, whilst a family pet can be a great comfort, they are generally not trained in supporting humans. The dog in this story doesn't sound like an emotional support dog.

Janelle Collard
Community Member
Premium
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely! But those dogs are trained. This dog is...not. It's OP's house + DH agrees so, tuff luck, MIL!

Load More Replies...
Another Panda
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are legitimate emotional support animals, but the must be trained/well behaved if they are to be in public. If the animal is not sufficiently trained or otherwise unsuitable to be in public, they must be left at home.

supertall
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am afraid of dogs and don't allow them in my home. Period. Doesn't matter if you're my mother-in-law or the King of England.

Fussy1
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can give MIL and her dog a joint Christmas gift, pet and owner obedience/training classes. Hopefully one of them will learn something. My money is on the dog!

Gavin Johnson
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner has two dogs, we wouldn’t dream of taking them to someone’s home unless they expressed an interest in seeing the dogs. We assume that people DON’T want to have dog hairs in their homes and that they DON’T want two furry toddlers running around investigating the corners of their home. If you NEED a service dog then clearly the rules are different but a family friend of ours with a guide dog is pretty outspoken about people who think a vest makes their dog a service dog, you give real service dogs a very bad name, true service dogs are well trained, VERY well trained, their owners are equally well trained in what their dog can and can’t do.

G A
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You just don't take pets to other people's houses. It's just not on. Maybe she should get a 20 ft python and drop round the MILs house with it?

Beth Wheeler
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are allergic and terrified of dogs and told her to leave her mutt at home. She said no, take meds so you cancelled & she said it's her son's decision. Just who does this b***h think she is? It's your house, you can't have dogs around you, she has a FAKE vest on the dog. I love your husband for backing you up on this. His crazy mean Mama is learning some boundaries that she doesn't like...oh boo hoo hoo. One weekend I was babysitting my cousin's husky because they had to go out of town. I told them I would have to bring the dog I had then for the 1 night because my son wasn't home & she was better trained than the husky. There were no problems I kept her on the leash for a couple of hours and had them walking near each other, the husky growled a couple of times but that was it, mine backed up and stayed near me or slept in the kitchen. Their dog wanted to stay outside that night, big fenced yard and separate garage with doggy door. My son picked up our dog the next day

Gwyn
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good crate training is very good for the dog. It gives them a safe space and reduces anxiety. What bad habits is she teaching this dog by spoiling him? If it goes far enough he'll start to bite people and she'll make excuses and coddle the dog even more. Someone should take the dog away from that lady.

Papa
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It seems like this would be an easy problem to solve. Get the husband to reach out to his mother and say "Leave the dog at home, or you stay home."

Michael MacKinnon
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is a deliberate and petty power play by the mother-in-law, who knows that the daughter-in-law is allergic to dogs.

Sarah Mezei
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a certified service dog, he's a standard poodle, so he doesn't shed. But if someone still asked me to not bring him into their home, then he's not able to go into that person's home. It's only public locations that can't kick him out, but even stores, restaurants, etc can still kick a service dog out if they're misbehaving. MIL's dog isn't even trained.

Marty Sunderland
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dog fur and dander that trigger allergies remain after the dog is gone. Mil can host the party, and O P can enjoy a peaceful day at home

Nikki Angulo
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a dog, and when I go home for holidays, she comes with me to my mom’s house (mom is fine with it) but I would never take her to my cousin or aunt’s house! My cousin’s husband is allergic to dogs and cats (and many many other things.) He will come for short visits to my mom’s house (she has cats) but the only family dinners my mom hosts are BBQs because they can be outside. My dog is also crate-trained. With cats, it’s a lifesaver!

Kellynn D
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i fully support dogs(i do think other animals can work, but there's limits) that are used for medical support and emotional support... when fully trained... but there is a limit of where they can be taken when it comes to private homes, especially when there's an allergy involved. she lives nearby, the animal isn't actually a trained support one, isn't actually trained at all and is destructive. i wouldn't want it at my house either, and then we have the fact she's allergic, that's just a NOPE. like i'm currently training 3 bengal kittens, harness, leash, and socialising etc. they're not support animals, but i'm making it so i can take them where regular dogs would be typically allowed(except places holding food of course, no markets etc)... they're probably way better behaved already at 13/14 months old, than it sounds like this dog is. training requires effort and the MIL clearly cannot be bothered.

CBolt
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since MIL said, "it's not down to you, it's down to my son & he will override you ..... " I wish OP had said if her husband had gotten involved & told his mother he stood with his wife (must not have or she wouldn't have had to cancel the party in order to keep the dog away - maybe tell the invitees that MIL has chosen - yes she chose her dog - not to attend in case any of them are especially close to her - can't imagine) OR if he just stayed out of it, leaving OP to cancel. Or, maybe he did side with MIL- "If Mommy can't bring Precious Doggy, then there's no party." Frankly, I wouldn't want a person like that in my home in the 1st place but just imagine if she did agree to come without the dog - the things she would say abt DIL depriving her of her "support" dog (I feel sorry for the dog), etc, ruining the whole event, to her delight - perfect revenge. OPs husband should have dealt with his mother long before this.

Kristen Sharp
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No such thing as an emotional support dog? Where are you living... under a rock? And monster in law can just FOAD!

keryn stone
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely do as you wish in your own home. My only suggestion would be that she could bring the dog but it must remain outside. If she’s not willing to compromise then let her stay or come under your rules. Seems a shame your remaining family suffer.

Natasha Clark
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA!! Her "MIL" definitely is since act as if the home OP lives in with her son is not her own either. You don't disrespect the woman of the house.

Maisey Myles
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a 5 lb Chihuahua. He’s my ESA as I have PTSD, major depression/anxiety and high blood pressure. He keeps me in check, but he’s always in my/his purse. Usually no one knows he’s there unless they know me and want him to play

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